Disclaimer – See Chapter One
Warning – O.k., we may get a little disgusting in this chapter, and it might run a little long, but bear with me, I think it's the second to last one.
It is difficult to tell you what I felt at that moment. Anger topped the list. Satine didn't tell me she was ill, Christian didn't tell me she was ill, and I didn't bother to check up on her. Sorrow came next. The pain in my heart threatened for a moment to overwhelm me. My darling Satine was dying, I could smell it on her. None of her dreams or my dreams for her would ever be realized, and my dearest Christian would be devastated. I knew he would be unable to write anything ever again, he would cease to sing, and the bitterness he had inherited from his father would take over. Encompassing it all was frustration. Frustration at my lack of attention, at their lack of communication, at the unfairness of it all, and it dawned on me at that moment, that my family was now doomed. I had not followed or supported any other heirs – those decedents that I knew of had not been bread to be strong and creative as Christian had been. The goal I had set myself of nurturing my sister's heirs had failed.
Covering my distress I quickly rose to my feet and crossed the room to pour wine from the waiting decanter into a glass. Satine continued to cough and sob behind me as the deep red fluid filled the glass. Hearing the sound only made my own pain deeper and I wondered idly if the girl planned to make it through the play on sheer will alone. The light from the chandelier made the color of the wine seem to glow, and arrested my vision for a moment. Suddenly I knew I could help Satine one last time. I set the bottle carefully back on the table and stole a glance over my shoulder, but she still had her face buried in the handkerchief. Quickly I lifted my wrist to my mouth and bit through the vein, holding it over the glass to let a small stream fall and mix with the wine. The wound closed almost immediately and I licked it clean. Turning, I rotated the glass slowly to mix the contents and returned to Satine's side to lay a hand gently on her back.
"Here my darling, drink this, it will get you through the next couple of hours." Taking the handkerchief from her I took both her hands and wrapped them around the glass.
She looked up at me with those beautiful but red-rimmed eyes, "I don't need this Len, I can manage." Then she had to take another gasping breath and almost started coughing again.
"Drink, what can it hurt?"
"True." She whispered and putting the glass to her lips, nearly drained the contents. When she lowered the glass, there was only a small bit in the bottom, and a swirl of red on the side, looking like a miniature Chinese chrysanthemum. Gently, I urged her to finish it off, and she raised the glass to her lips and sucked the last of it down.
She leaned forward, her eyes closed and nearly let the glass drop from her fingers, but I rescued it and laid a hand on her back. "My darling, are you alright?"
"Yes, actually, I feel much restored!" Satine lifted her face and looked up at me with wonderfully clear eyes and rosy cheeks. "Len -" She smiled, "what did you put in the wine?"
I shook my head and made a 'nothing to it' gesture. "A plant extract I came upon while I was in the East. Nothing much, and only a temporary solution I'm afraid, but it should get you through the next couple of hours." She nodded, not really disappointed and I knew it came from forcing herself not to expect much out of life. Knowing there was no more I could do at the moment, or at least until I located Christian I turned for the door. "I shall be in the front row my dearest, send some one for me if you need my help again."
Satine nodded wearily to me, looking better, but still not her usual glowing self. "I shall sing my songs especially for you Len."
I laughed, rolling my eyes, "Don't sing them for me my angel, sing them for Christian."
Her face crumpled again, "I-I can't…he-he's not here…" And she dissolved into tears.
"What do you mean?" I was beside her again in an instant, on my knees and ripping her hands away from her face. "Where is he? Why on Earth is he not here?"
She licked her lips, "I-I sent him away…"
"My God! Satine, why?"
"Harold said…the Duke would kill Christian if I didn't do his ending to the play and sleep with him."
"Worthless, petty bastard!" I snarled. He was now number one on my menu. "But how could you convince Christian to leave? He would never leave you!"
She closed her eyes and whispered in a voice that contained all the pain that had ever existed in the universe, "I told him I didn't love him, I convinced him it was all a lie."
And suddenly I did not have to wonder why she couldn't breath. I could see Christian in my mind's eye then – nearly insane with hurt and jealousy. "Oh Satine, dearest…" I found I could not condemn her for turning him away.
"He meant it Len, he was going to kill Christian, he still might – " She looked horrified at the thought.
I held her tightly and looked her in the eye, "No dear I won't let him. You have my word on that. Now you had better get ready to put on your show. Don't worry, your uncle Len will find a way to work things out, I promise." Satine nodded and sat up straight, lifting her chin, and looking at herself in the mirror, redoing her make-up as though nothing had happened, even though I could see the emptiness that now filled her eyes.
+++++
Winding my way through the paraphernalia of the backstage I nearly ran into Zidler. His normal overdone showman's attire had been replaced by his overdone maharaja costume. For a man who was about to see one of his fondest dreams come true, he didn't look very happy. Instead he looked nervous and upset. All my rage at the injustice of Satine's illness, the pain it was causing her and Christian, and the ruin it was going to make of my plans suddenly came boiling to the surface and I yanked Zidler completely off his feet by his lapels and shoved him against a convenient wall.
"My lord Fraser! W-what is the meaning of this?" He cried indignantly, although he did not struggle. His frozen posture revealed that he knew perfectly well where my anger came from.
"You stupid fool! Why did you make this deal with that wretched Duke? I would have financed the turning of your sleazy little dancehall into a theatre in a minute! Have you forgotten my ambitions for Satine? What were you thinking?" I shook him for emphasis and to keep myself from actually hitting him, which was what I wanted to do.
"The Duke offered to finance the project my Lord. It seemed an excellent idea – everyone would get what they wanted. I would get my theatre, Satine would become a star, and the Duke would get rich."
"Really? And what about the boy? You forgot about him, didn't you?" My face was inches from his, and I could smell the stink of his nervous sweat. The fact that he was a Goliath to my David was not lost on him, nor was the fact that in spite of this I seemed to be holding him up with no effort at all. For once I didn't give a damn whom I frightened.
He sighed, and the look of true sorrow that made his face droop probably saved his life. "Christian was a last minute substitute. I knew he would fall in love with Satine, they all do, but I never realized that she would fall in love with him." Slowly I lowered him to the ground. While I thought it completely logical that Satine should love Christian (I had, after all, practically designed them for one another), Zidler would never had realized this. Straightening his clothes I turned away from him, putting one hand to my forehead. Although I could no longer suffer from headaches I felt the ghost of one trying to attack me.
But Zidler wasn't done with me. "My lord I must ask…how do you know about Christian?"
"Satine wrote me Harold. You should know by now I only want for Satine what she wants for herself." I didn't bother to look up at him, my mind still in a whirl as what to do for my poor doomed children.
"Of course, but why did you naturally assume I would turn to you for help? My finances are my own." His tone was slightly defensive and just a little affronted. For a second I wanted very badly to simply snap his neck.
I resisted the impulse and raised my eyes to pin him as effectively with my glare as I had with my hands. "Because I am interested only in Satine's happiness. How many times have I told you that you had only to ask and I would give it? Now not only is she doomed to an empty life, but also that life will end much sooner than we expected and the boy's life is ruined too. And by extension, your Moulin Rouge will be destroyed as well." My voice had risen at the last until I was nearly shouting.
"Pride, my pride it seems, has destroyed us all." He hung his head in misery.
Never one to offer false comfort where it wasn't deserved I only nodded and walked away.