Disclaimer – See Chapter One

Pain Like I've Never Known

Even I was not sure what was happening in those last few minutes.  I caught glimpses through the legs of the dancers of a bald-headed man that I later learned was the duke's manservant, Toulouse came sliding onto the stage with a scream babbling about death threats, bohemians caused explosions, and it ended up with Zidler actually punching the duke.  When the curtain finally went down on that last number the audience was on their feet in an instant, howling with mad approval.

I could see that Christian and Satine were both grinning at each other, pressed tightly together.  But after five minutes the audience was still waiting for the curtain call and I knew something was desperately wrong.  Rushing from my chair and up the side stairs, I made it back stage to almost total silence.  Sitting in the middle of the floor, just a few feet from the curtain was Christian.  Satine was sprawled across his lap limp as a rag doll and as I came up beside them he threw his head back and sobbed aloud.  His aguish filled the bare wooden backstage.  All the dancers and stagehands stood frozen in horror at the depth of the tragedy – none of them had ever truly seen a heart break before.

Although he had to work out his grief, I couldn't let him sit there making a show of his destruction for everyone to see.  I hurried to his side, my feet sliding in the carpet of rose petals that covered the floor.  My memory of that moment is forever a mixture of scents - the smell of the dancers, a mixture of greasepaint and sweat, the theatre itself, rope and new wood and fresh paint, Christian, sweat and the salt smell of tears, Satine, too much make-up and the combination of rot and blood.  Overlaying all of it was the scent of the rose petals.  They carpeted every visible inch of floor space, and collected on the shoulders and hair of the spectators watching the tragedy.  Like the Moulin Rouge itself – a decayed rotten soul trying to fake youth and beauty with paint and perfume.  Not unlike myself as well.

I knelt beside them, loath as I was to break that awful tableau, and laid a hand on Christian's shoulder.  He sucked in his breath in a defensive hiss and his wide bloodshot eyes fastened on mine.  We sat silent, staring at each other for the space of three heartbeats, and then he sobbed, "Uncle!" and reached out to me with one hand.  I leaned forward, slipping an arm around him and letting him put his arm over my shoulder while we cradled the fallen courtesan between us. 

"Why Uncle?  Why?"  He whispered into my ear, "I just got her back." His shoulders shook with the force of his weeping.

Turning my head slightly I kissed his temple, "I don't know my lad, if I could answer your question, I'd be the wisest man in the world.  But the time to debate that is not now; let's take her to her dressing room.  We don't want her laying out here on the cold, bare stage."  Of course it was anything but bare, but Christian took my meaning anyway and nodded, sniffling, and together we lifted her up and bore her back to her dressing room.

+++++

Gently we laid the girl on the lounge chair in the corner.  I sent Christian to fetch the wine decanter and leaned forward to examine her more closely.  My senses, of course, are far more powerful than those of an overwrought poet.  Her breath was the barest of flutters, and her pulse weak and thready.  I could save her.  I was not too late.  But what she would become if I saved her…could I condemn her to live as I did?  Looking down at her face, still beautiful, even a breath away from death, I couldn't let her go.

"Here it is U-U-Uncle." Christian gasped as he handed me the decanter.  I held it up to the light, rotating it to swirl the contents so I could see the darker color of the substance I had added earlier.

"I'm going to try and give her a little of this, it seemed to help earlier.  Will you go fetch the doctor?  She is still breathing, although it's very faint."

His hands latched onto my arm with a power I didn't know he had.  "S-S-She's not dead?!"

I looked up at him, "No Chris, not quite, but get the doctor, we haven't much time!"  He took one anguished look at her, then nodded to me and dashed out the door.