Well, I've just started on my new summer job and beginning to settle into a schedule. Now, happily, I'll be able to have more time for some writing…and speaking of, before I continue on with this fic, I have two small A/N for you readers out there:
1) A few people have been asking about this, so I want to set the record straight. Primary Colors is NOT on hold. I've simply been trying to work out a few plot holes I discovered in the next few chapters, jotting a few notes along the way. I'm already finish with my sketch of chapter 12 and a quarter of the first draft (the order goes: notes—outline—sketch—first draft—final draft, just to be thorough). Keep an eye out, it should be up soon.
2) While I was walking my puppy around the cemetery yard by my house a few days ago (weird as it sounds, it has one of the most beautiful overlook views in the entire town, and my family has a memorial bench placed on one hill in honor of my late grandparents), I started getting ideas for a one-shot fic on how Ryo would have been introduced to the Evo world. Now, I know OC fics aren't too popular around here, but since many of you are already familiar with her character, I was wondering if there was anyone actually interested in reading it…
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As everybody else headed towards the set for the next scene, Remy chose to have a seat next to Ryo where he could wait until his presence was needed again. She looked up from the script in her hands for a moment to greet him with a smile.
Ryo: Hey, Remy…you know, I was just wondering something. How did you manage to pull such a non-Cajun accent out there?
He responded with a shrug.
Remy: Simple, p'tite. Remy jus' use his voice from de Evolution cartoon.
Ryo: Ah…
* * * * * *
Every hastily rushes from the study to the kitchen, getting stuck in the doorway. Todd, being the smallest, manages to squeeze through. He steps down into the kitchen, pausing in front of the freezer and looking around.
Todd: Well…he's not here.
On cue, the door to the freezer slowly begins to creak open.
Tabby lets out an ear-piercing scream.
Todd swiftly turns around in time to see Fred's body tumble out, eyes rolling to the back of his head. He just barely has enough time to scream like a girl…
Todd: I didn't do it!
…before Fred lands on top of him, squashing the poor boy to the ground. With his back in the air, a large dagger sticking out is clearly visible.
Todd: *muffled sounds*
Everybody crowds around, trying to push Fred off of him.
Lance: Now that's what I call "dead" weight.
~*rimshot*~
Everybody groans, on- and off-stage.
Lance: …what?
Finally, after a moment (and a little assistance from Forge and his miniature forklift), they succeed in freeing Todd.
Todd: *gasping* Air…life flashing before eyes…darkness…
As he lies on the floor, dazed, the others crowd around the body. One person reaches for the knife, but Lance stops them.
Lance: Don't touch it. That's evidence.
Rogue: Not for us. We have ta find out who did this—we can't take fingerprints!
Lance gets up, turning to Pyro.
Lance: I think you'd better explain yourself, Wadsworth.
Pyro: *defensively* Me? Why me? I didn't do it!
Todd: *still dazed on the floor* My…line…
A few seconds later, he manages to sit up.
Todd: Who would want to kill the cook?
Tabby: Dinner wasn't that bad.
Lance: How can you make jokes at a time like this?
She stands up defensively.
Tabby: It's my defense mechanism.
Lance: *scoffs* Some defense. If I was the killer, I would kill you next!
Everybody turns to stare at him, shocked. Tabby folds her arms and raises an amused eyebrow.
Tabby: …oh?
There's an uncomfortable silence where Lance looks around nervously.
Lance: …I said "if". *IF*! Hey, come on. There is only one admitted killer here, and it is certainly not me. It is her!
He points directly at Rogue.
Rogue: Ah've admitted nothing.
She slowly backs away as he puts her on the spotlight.
Lance: Well, you paid the blackmail. How many husbands have you had?
Rogue: Mine or other women's.
Lance: Yours.
Rogue: Five.
Lance: Five?
Rogue: Yes, just the five. Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable.
Tabby: Amen!
Lance: You lure men to their deaths like a spider with flies!
Rogue: Flies are where men are most vulnerable.
Lance: Right!
There's another moment's pause in which Lance realizes what he just said. Again.
Lance: Well, if it wasn't you, then who was it? Who had the dagger, anyway…it was YOU, Mrs. Peacock, wasn't it?
He turns towards the stairway, where Pietro and Kitty were standing.
Kitty: *stammering* Y-yes, but I put it down.
Pietro turns to her abruptly.
Pietro: Where?
Kitty: In the study.
Pietro: When?
Kitty: I don't know! Before I fainted, after I fai—I don't know! But any one of you could have picked it up.
Pyro speaks up, remaining calm.
Pyro: Hmm. Look, I suggest we take the cook's body into the study.
Lance: Why?
Pyro: I'm the butler. I like to keep the kitchen tidy.
Tabby: Didn't you say already you're NOT the butler?
Pyro: Quiet, you.
The next shot is of the study doorway from the inside. All the men of the group appear to be lugging Fred's body inside…but if you look reeeeally closely, you can see Forge inside the min-forklift right behind them. Even without him, however, they manage to block the women's view of inside.
Pietro suddenly points to something, letting go of his pretend-hold on Fred.
Pietro: Look!
Pyro/Todd: What?
Pietro: The body's gone!
The rest of them all 'drop' Fred in surprise.
Kitty: What are you all staring at?
Todd: Nothing…
Kitty: Well, who's there?
Lance: Nobody.
Pyro: Nobody. No Boddy, that's what we mean. Mr. Boddy's body. It's gone!
Rogue peeks her head over their shoulders
Rogue: Maybe he wasn't dead.
Pietro: He was!
Rogue: Oh, what do ya know, anyway?
Pietro: Hey!
Tabby: We should have made sure.
Kitty: How? By cutting his head off, I suppose.
Rogue: That was uncalled for. Although, now that ya mention it…
Tabby pushes her way through them, frustrated.
Tabby: Where is he?!
Pietro: We better look for him.
They all file in the room, forgetting about the –other- body for a moment as they search for Remy. After a moment, Todd speaks up.
Todd: Well…he couldn't have been dead.
Pietro: He was! At least, I thought he was, but…what difference does it make now?
Tabby: It makes quite a difference to him. Maybe there is life after death.
Rogue turns to look at her as if she's sprouted horns.
Rogue: Life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage.
A light suddenly goes on above Todd's head.
Todd: Maybe Mr. Boddy killed the cook!
Rogue/Tabby: Yes!
There's a moment's pause.
Pyro: How?
Todd is at a sudden loss for words.
Pietro: …don't you just love these little theories of his?
Meanwhile, Kitty speaks up near the doorway.
Kitty: Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to…um…
She turns to Belladonna.
Kitty: *whispers* Is there a little girl's room?
Belladonna: Oui, oui, madame.
Kitty: No, I just want to powder my nose, thank you.
She walks out of the room, leaving Belladonna looking bewildered, and stepping over Fred's corpse into the hall.
Tabby, looking through some of the papers on the desk, picks up something.
Tabby: What's this, Wadsworth?
Pyro: I'm afraid those are the negatives to which Colonel Mustard earlier referred.
Lance: Oh, my God!
He makes a go for them
Tabby: Were you planning to blackmail him, Wadsworth?
Pyro: Um…no. I'd obtained them for the Colonel, and I was going to…er…give them back as soon as Mr. Boddy was unmasked.
Tabby glances at them, smirking.
Tabby: Hmm…very pretty. Would you like to see these, Yvette? They might shock you…
Belladonna: No, merci. I am a "lay-dee."
Rogue snorts with laughter; Belladonna tries to ignore her.
Tabby: Oh? How do you know what kind of pictures they are if you're such a "lay-dee"?
She and Rogue share a small high-five.
Belladonna: Oh, I should've known…
Ryo: *off-stage* Settle this on your own time, girls! Keep going!
Pietro: What sort of pictures are they?
Lance: They are my pictures, and I'd like them back, please.
He tries to take them from Tabby, but she pulls away.
Tabby: No, I'm afraid there's something in them that concerns me too.
Pietro manages to snatch them out of her hand, walking over to a better-lighted area so he can see them. Rogue peeks over his shoulder.
Rogue: Oh, my…
Pietro's eyes go wide, and he almost starts to drool.
Rogue: Nobody can get inta that position.
Pietro: Sure they can. Let me show you.
Putting the pictures down, he lays her on the couch and begins to demonstrate.
Rogue: Pietro Maximoff, if y'all don't get off me right now, they'll be dragging ya lifeless body off this set an' it won't be acting.
That, on top of the death glare she gives him, is more than enough to earn a small 'eep' from him.
Ryo: *off-stage* A little something for the Rietro fans right there…
In the hallway, Kitty opens the door the bathroom. Remy's body falls out, landing in her outstretched arms. Needless to say, she screams bloody murder. Hearing her scream, the others rush out into the hallway to help.
Pietro: Mr. Boddy!
Todd: He's attacking her!
They all move to pull the corpse off of him, but Kitty beat the guys to it. Fed up, she gave Remy a swift kick in the stomach, sending him back three or four feet, into the wall.
Remy: Ow…
Wincing, he tried to get up, only to have Rogue and Belladonna push him back down again.
Remy: What was dat fo'?
Rogue: For attacking Kitty!
Remy: But…but…
Ryo: *off-stage* Come on…back to the script.
Carefully eyeing the two girls, Remy slips back into position…lying on the floor, fake blood dripping down his head.
Rogue: Well, he's dead.
Pyro: Mr. Boddy…dead. Again!
Kitty begins fanning herself.
Kitty: Oh, my God…
Pyro: She's going to faint.
Pietro: Somebody catch her!
Pyro gets up and moves behind Kitty with his arms circling around her waist.
Pyro: I'll catch you. Fall into my arms…
She phases through and falls to the floor.
Pyro: Heh…oops?
Rogue looks up at Todd.
Rogue: Ya've got blood on ya hands…
Todd looks at them panicky, taking out a handkerchief.
Todd: I didn't do it!
Pyro: He's got new injuries.
Pyro picks up Remy's hand and lets go; it flops to the floor.
Pyro: Well, he's certainly dead now. Why would anyone want to kill him twice?
Everybody turns to look at Rogue and Belladonna.
Rogue/Belladonna: …what?
Tabby: It seems so unnecessary.
Lance: It's what we call "overkill"…
Everybody groans.
Lance: *defensively* It's in the script!
Pietro: It's what we call "psychotic."
Todd: Unless he wasn't dead before.
Pietro: Oh, what's the difference?
Pyro: THAT'S WHAT WE'RE TRYING TO FIND OUT! WE'RE TRYING TO FIND OUT WHO KILLED HIM, AND WHERE, AND WITH WHAT!
Pietro: …there's no need to shout.
Pyro: *louder* I'M NOT SHOUTING!!!
Everybody stares at him.
Pyro: ALL RIGHT, I AM. I'M SHOUTING, I'M SHOUTING, I'M SHOUT—
The candlestick, somehow having gotten above the bathroom door, falls and hits him on the head. Pyro falls to the floor.
Back in the study, Kitty had evidently recovered…somehow. The girls are all carrying the much heavier Fred into the room, while the men have the lighter Remy.
Lance is issuing orders.
Lance: Okay, put the corpses on the sofa. Ladies first.
The girls all stare down at Fred. Tabby nudges him.
Tabby: *whispers* You know, you could help us out a little here, Freddie.
Fred lets out a sudden snore. The others stare at him incredulously.
Rogue: Ah don't believe this!
A few minutes later, Forge manages to attach a few nearly-invisible wires to assist the girls. With sounds of exertion, they just barely manage to lift Fred. Pyro walks behind them, an ice pack to his head.
Pyro: Careful. Don't get blood on the sofa.
They manage to pull him to a sitting position, but face a slight problem.
Belladonna: How do we do zis? Ze dagger will go further into 'is back.
Lance: Tip him forward, over the arm.
They do so.
Lance: Now Mr. Boddy.
The guys all lift him up, having a much easier time. Somehow, poor Pietro gets stuck between the two corpses on the couch.
Pietro: Oh, I am so joining Todd in that therapy session for this…
Lance: Now, Who—
Lance begins, but is pauses by the unnerving sensation of having Remy staring at him. He closes the eyes.
Lance: Who had access to the candlestick?
Rogue turns to Tabby.
Rogue: It was given to you.
Tabby: Yeah, but I dropped it on the table. Anyone could have picked it up. You…him…
Pyro starts circling the room, picking up the weapons as he goes.
Pyro: Look. We still have all these weapons. The gun…the rope…the wrench…the lead pipe. Let's put them all in this cupboard and lock it. There's a homicidal maniac about!
Tabby: Gee, what was your first clue?
Todd: Um…isn't anybody going to mention the fact that the candlestick and knife are still out in the open?
Everybody turns to stare at him, blinking.
Todd: Right. First rule of a cliché murder mystery…weapons never used more than once.
Pyro throws the [remaining] weapons in a large, wooden cupboard as everyone states their approval…but then he moves to pocket the key after locking it.
Todd: What are you doing with the key?
Pyro: Putting it in my pocket. Duh.
Todd: Why?
Pyro: Well, to keep it safe, obviously.
Kitty stands up, having a little trouble keeping the feathers in her hair from falling in her face.
Kitty: That means that you can open it whenever you want!
Pyro: But it also means that you can't.
Kitty: But what if you're the murderer?!
Pyro: *wide-eyed* I'm not!
Lance: Oh, come on. Haven't you ever heard the phrase "the butler did it."
Pyro: Um…did I mention I'm not the butler?
Pietro: Very weak, Johnny-boy.
Pyro: Well, it's got to be put somewhere. If I got it, I know I'm safe.
Kitty: We don't know that WE are!
Pyro thinks about it, then clasps his hands together.
Pyro: I've an idea. We'll throw it away!
Everyone agrees, and they—once more—run out into the hallway and up to the front door. Wadsworth pulls it open, preparing to throw the key…
…Kurt, who had just been about to ring the bell, ducks for cover.
* * * * * *
Ryo: Cut! Okay, people, we're done for today…*to herself*…y'know, I'm surprised. They're sticking more and more to the script, and staying in character for much longer periods of time…
As if one cue, the sounds of Todd panicking, Rogue and Belladonna screeching, Kitty loudly fanning herself as she tries to calm everyone down, Pietro trying to flirt with Tabby AND Belladonna, and Lance complaining how much he's "starting to sound like Summers!"
Ryo: …then again, maybe there was more typecasting into it than I thought.