Y'know, these chapters just keep getting more and more fun to write. Hard to believe we're already at the halfway mark. And to answer your questions…I will be doing ALL three endings. Originally, I was gonna have you vote on which one to do, but then I realized they're all too hilarious to skip over.
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As per usual, the set is filled with the hustle and bustle of activity. Twelve Jamies were running all over the place trying to set up and clean most of the rooms while Bobby was doing sound checks. Most of the other cast members currently sit around, waiting for the scene to start.
Jean: Come on! Why can't I have a role, huh?
Well, most of 'em.
Ryo: *sigh* For the last time, Jean. There were only so many parts to hand out. As it is, Wanda was supposed to play Scarlet before DragonBlond changed her mind.
She point over to one corner of the room, where Wanda and Pyro seemed to be deeply engrossed in conversation.
Jean: Humph! Why do I get the feeling she doesn't like me that much.
Ryo: *mutters* What was your first guess?
Jean: …what was that?
Ryo: Er…I said…to the set! Yeah…that's it. TO THE SET, EVERYBODY!
* * * * * *
Outside, the rain is still falling heavily. A car is see off to the side of the road, which could only be identified as belonging to the motorist. Down the road, a car slowly drives up so that we see it is a police cruiser. It pulls up at the sight of the vacant car to investigate.
Back at the mansion, we see photographs, papers and the rolls of tape Belladonna had recorded earlier that evening. A gloved hand picks them up and tosses everything into the fireplace.
Most of it misses entirely, so the shadowed figure tries to discreetly push everything back in.
The hand now uses a key to unlock the cupboard holding the unused weapons. But…wasn't the key throw away? Oh, I get it; surprise twist. Ahh. Anyways, the weapons are revealed and accessible. More or less, this means the guests are screwed.
Back out in the rain, the camera reveals a cop heavily covered in rainwear as he shines his flashlights into the car.
The scene shifts to inside the lounge, where Kurt is making his phone call.
Kurt: I'm a little nervous…
The camera reveals the lounge's fireplace, which is slowly spinning around to reveal a secret passage.
Kurt: …I'm in zis big house, and I've been locked into ze lounge. *pause* What do you mean "sounds familiar"?
He continues whispering into the phone as the camera focuses in on a wrench slowly being carried over towards the unsuspecting motorist.
Kurt: The funny zing is zere's a whole group of people here having some sort of party…and one of zem is my old boss from—
The wrench descends, hitting him over the head.
Kurt: OW! Hey, zat really hurt!
Ryo: *off-stage* Kurt…shut up and die. Please.
Rubbing his head, Kurt collapses to the ground. A gloved hand then reaches over and places the phone back on its cradle.
Back outside, the cop shines his flashlight on the car's license plate, then underneath. He walks away.
Lance and Tabby stand in front of yet another doorway, the only source of light coming from behind them. The sound of rainfall is especially noticeable in this room. Lance switches on the lights and the two of them have a look around.
The Conservatory is not very tidy. There is dust and cobwebs everywhere.
Tabby: *sneezes*
Lance: Ghezuntite.
Tabby heads towards the outter wall of windows, where can can be seen splashing down on them, while Lance walks to one of the inner walls. He picks up something to inspect it, then grabs a rag to wipe his hands off. As he does so, he leans against the wall...only to have it swing open! He stumbles slightly in surprise, but quickly recovers.
Lance: Looks like a secret passage.
Tabby: *sarcastically* No, really?
He takes a quick peek inside.
Tabby: Should we see where it goes?
Lance grabs a flashlight so CONVENIENTLY located on the adjacent shelf.
Lance: What the hell. I'll go first—I've had a good life...well, I'll go first, anyway.
The secret passage is narrow with uneven floors. Tabby trips, yelling out in surprise.
Tabby: Oh, God.
Lance: This isn't exactly my idea of fun, either.
Lance and Tabby emerge from the still-open fireplace in the lounge. They immediately see Kurt lying on the floor. Tabby puts her hands to her mouth in shock.
Tabby: Oh, my God!
The fireplace suddenly closes behind them. Tabby panics. She starts screaming. LOUDLY.
Up in the attic, Todd and Belladonna can clearly hear Tabby screaming.
Tabby and Lance run to the double doors and try to escape, but they're still locked. Now both of them are screaming, although Tabby is definately still the louder of the two.
Pyro and Rogue run for the staircase.
Todd and Belladonna run down from the attic.
As the four of them reach the top of the stairway, they all collide, collapsing into a large heap.
Todd: *muffled* Not again!
Rogue: ...whose hand is that?
Pyro: Sorry.
Lance and Tabby are still banging at the door. And screaming.
The four people upstairs manage to untangle themselves. Pyro and Todd run down the stairs, quickly followed by Belladonna and Rogue.
Pyro: Where's it coming from?
Todd: Where are we going…?
They make it to the ground floor just as Pietro and Kitty emerge from the cellar.
Rogue: Where are they?
Pyro and Todd are already standing in front of the door.
Pyro: *points* The lounge!
Pyro tries to open the door. It's locked.
Pietro: The door's locked!
Todd: *impatiently* I know…
Pietro: THEN UNLOCK IT!
Todd: I can't. They took my lock-picking tools away. Where's the key?
Pyro searches his pockets.
Pyro: The key is gone!
Pietro: Never mind about the key! Unlock the door!
Todd grabs him by the shirt and starts shaking him.
Todd: I can't unlock the door without the key!
He lets go of a visibly-shaken Pietro (no pun intended) and bangs on the door.
Todd: Let us in! Let us in!
Tabby/Lance: Let us out! Let us out!
Pyro: It's no use. Stand back!
He back up all the way across the hall.
Pyro: There's no alternative. I'm just going to have to break it down.
He runs to the door at full speed, hitting it, and falling to the floor, holding his shoulder.
Pyro: *painfully* So much for that idea…
Belladonna gets an idea.
Belladonna: I know! I have it!
She runs into the study.
The two in the lounge are still yelling. A clearly exasperated Kitty glares at the closed door.
Kitty: Will you shut up? …
In the study, Belladonna grabs the revolver from the open cupboard, looking slightly bewildered but recovering quickly.
Kitty: [v/o] …we're doing our best!
Belladonna runs out of the study and trips over Pyro, who is still rolling on the floor in pain. The gun goes off, hitting the chandelier rope above.
Todd and Pietro hit the deck right in front of the lounge doorway.
The chandelier starts spinning as the rope begins to split.
Kitty and Rogue run into each other in all the confusion.
Rogue: *sarcastically* The model of gracefulness, everybody.
Belladonna: Didn' anyone ever teach y' not t' taunt someone wit' a gun in deir hands?
Inside the lounge, Lance and Tabby crouch down.
Lance: They're shooting at us!
Belladonna stands up and aims for the door lock.
Todd and Pietro, who had started to get up, hit the floor again. This time, they put their hands over their heads.
She fires twice, hitting straight on target with both shots.
Lance turns away from the door, holding his shoulder.
Lance: I've been shot…I've been shot!
Tabby: No, you haven't.
Belladonna holds the gun casually in one hand.
Belladonna: Come out! The door is open!
She lowers the gun so that it carelessly points at Pietro and Todd. They hurriedly scramble to get out of the way. The lounge doors opens, allowing Tabby and a miraculously unwounded Lance to emerge.
Lance angrily walks up to Belladonna.
Lance: Why are you shooting that thing at us?!
Belladonna: To get you out.
He gives her a shove.
Lance: You know, you could have killed us! I could've been killed!
We see a shot of the chandelier, spinning even more quickly. The rope is almost completely frayed.
Lance walks a few feet, not speaking to anyone in particular.
Lance: I can't take any more scares.
The rope snaps.
The chandelier crashes to the ground three feet behind Lance, who goes into a brief state of shock, eventually collapsing into the love seat by the wall.
Todd: …you okay, buddy?
Lance: Peachy. Just give my heart a minute to start beating again.
Tabby points inside the lounge, almost hysterical.
Tabby: But, look!
Everybody runs across the room, stepping over the chandelier glass. They all crowd around the door and see Kurt lying on the ground.
Kitty: Which one of you did it?
Tabby: We found him! Together!
Rogue: How did ya get in?
Todd: The door was locked…
Pietro: …and nothing's been blown up.
Rogue: It's a great trick!
Tabby: There's a secret passageway from the conservatory.
Pietro, standing next to Belladonna, gets a good look at the object in her hands.
Pietro: Is that the same gun?
Kitty: From the cupboard?
Pietro: But it was locked!
Belladonna: …no, it was unlocked!
Todd/Pietro/Pyro: Unlocked?!
Belladonna: But, yes. See for yourself!
Everybody runs out of the room back towards the study. Belladonna drops the revolved under the broken chandelier in the process.
Kurt opens his eyes after they leave and looks around.
Kurt: You'd think being dead would get you some attention around here.
Everybody piles in, gathering in front of the obviously unlocked cupboard door, which is still wide open.
Kitty turns to Belladonna accusingly.
Kitty: How did you know it was unlocked? How did you know that you could get at the gun?
Belladonna: I didn't I zink—I would break it open, but it was open already.
Kitty: A likely story.
The doorbell rings suddenly.
The guests all freeze in place.
Tabby: Maybe they'll just go away…
There is a moment of silence. The doorbell is still.
The guests still remain frozen when suddenly, it rings again.
Tabby: …or, maybe not.
They all good fairly disappointed. Todd suddenly stands up straight.
Todd: I'm going to open it.
Tabby: Why?!
Todd: I have nothing to hide! I didn't do it!
He holds out one hand to Pyro.
Todd: The key.
Pyro reaches into his pocket and reluctantly gives it to him.
Todd: Thank you.
He strides into the hallway, followed by the rest of the party.
Todd opens the door, revealing Scott in a cop's uniform.
Scott: Good evening, sir.
The door is suddenly slammed in his face.
Kitty: [v/o] Lance!
Lance: [v/o] *innocently* …what?
The door reopens to reveal Todd's smiling face, as if nothing had happened.
Todd: Yes?
Scott: I found an abandoned car down near the gates of this house. Did the driver come in here for any help, by any chance?
Everybody but Todd insists that was not the case.
Todd: …well, actually, yes.
All but Todd: NO!
He stares at them oddly.
Scott: There seems to be some kind of kind of disagreement.
Again, everyone but Todd disagrees. Todd looks around.
Todd: …you noticed, huh?
Scott, understandably, looks quite confused by now.
Scott: Um…can I come in and use your phone.
Pietro: Does nobody in this country have their own phone anymore?!
Pyro pushes his way to the front of the crowd to greet Scott.
Pyro: Of course you may, sir. You may use the one in the…um…no….uh, you can use the one in the st—no…Would you be kind enough to wait in the um, in the, em, library?
Scott: *VERY confused* Sure.
As he steps inside, he sees Belladonna standing off to one side.
Scott: Don't I know you from somewhere.
Belladonna simply shrugs.
Rogue: *coughplayboysubscriptioncough*
Beside her, Pietro snickers.
Scott: You all seem to be very anxious about something.
Pyro motions upwards.
Pyro: *calmly* It's the chandelier. It fell down. Almost killed us. Would you like to come this way, please, sir?
He begins leading Scott towards the library. Tabby quickly runs over to the study door and closes it, attempting to look nonchalant when Scott turns to look at her. Pietro does the same with the lounge door, again drawing Scott's attention and trying to appear innocent.
Pyro: Frightfully drafty, these old houses.
Pyro leads Scott inside, then motions towards the phone.
Pyro: Please help yourself to a drink, if you'd like.
Scott reaches for the brandy.
Pyro: Not the congac. Just in case…
He shuts the door.
Scott: …just in case of what? *pause * Oh, I've got a baaaad feeling about this…
Pyro locks the door, and turns to the other guests.
Pyro: *whispers* What now?
Lance: I say we let him drink the cognac
Pietro: Pft. Knowing him, it should only take one glass to knock him out….
Everybody pauses.
Pietro: …ah. That'd work!
Inside, Scott tries to door handle. It is, of course, locked..
Todd: We should have told him.
Kitty: Oh, very well for you to say that now.
Todd: *defensively* I said it then!
Everybody: Oh, shut up!
Todd: *pouts* Nobody listens to me.
Pyro motions towards the shattered glass.
Pyro: Let's clean this up.
Scott pauses at the door, but only hears the sound of glass being swept up. Giving up, he walks over to the phone. But just as he reaches for the handle, it suddenly rings. Blinking in surprise, he answers.
Scott: Hello?
In the hallway, everybody grows still.
Pyro: *whispers* Maybe the cop answered it.
Scott: And…who should I say is calling? *pause* You don't say. *pause* Ah…will you hold on, please?
Setting the phone down on the table, he walks back over to the door and starts banging on it.
Scott: Let me out of here! Let me out of here! You have no right to shut me in! I'll book you for false arrest…and wrongful imprisonment…and obstructing an officer in the course of his duty…and MURDER!
The door opens very suddenly. Pyro stands there, with a broom in one hand and the rest of the party behind him.
Pyro: What do you mean…"murder"?
Scott: I just said it so you'd open the door.
The guests all sigh with relief and laugh nervously.
Pyro: *under his breath* Devious so-and-so…
Scott: What's going on around here? And why would you lock me in? And why are you receiving phone call from J. Edgar Hoover?
Pyro: J. Edgar Hoover?
Scott: That's right. The Head of the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
Lance: We know who he is, thank you.
Scott: Yeah, but young audience members might not.
Lance/Pietro: Ah…
Lance turns to Pyro questioningly.
Lance: Why is J. Edgar Hoover on your phone?
Pyro: I don't know. He's on everybody else's, why shouldn't he be on mind? Excuse me.
He steps into the library and, after glancing at Scott, removes the key from the door, closes it, and locks it from the inside.
Scott turns to the rest of the crowd.
Scott: What's going on here?
Pietro: Nosey one, aren't ya?
Tabby suddenly drapes herself over him.
Tabby: We're having a…party…
The guests all laugh even more nervously than before.
Scott: Mind if I look around?
All: Yes.
Scott: …can I anyway?
Tabby: Sure…
She looks around the room, eyes resting on Todd.
Tabby: You can show him around, Mr. Green!
Todd: Me?!
Tabby: Yes! Uh, you can show him the…dinning room…the kitchen…the ballroom…
He visibly stiffens.
Todd: Fine…Fine! Officer, um, come with me. I'll show you the…dining room…or the kitchen…or the ballroom…
He walks off, dragging a very confused-looking Scott with him.
* * * * * *
Ryo: All right, people, that should be a good place to end it for today.
Everybody filters off the set. Remy, who had been off to the side (not being needed today, and all), ducked inside the men's room when he saw Belladonna and Rogue coming.
Fred, the other corpse, is still hanging over by the buffet table. Everyone else just kinda hangs around.
As Pyro walks off the set, he clutches his head.
Pyro: Man, I must've banged it harder than I thought
Wanda walks up to him, concerned but not trying to show it.
Wanda: You might have a concussion. Come on, let's get you an ice pack.
As she helps him off the set, he turns back to the others with a grin. Todd's mouth goes wide open.
Todd: …now why didn't I think of that?!
Ryo watches everything with a slightly amused look on her face.
Ryo: Todd-Wanda-Pyro triangle…great, now she's doing self-plugs! Sheesh, how shameless can you get?