Chapter 10
Note: this chapter will be really weird and not make too much sense since I'm using the 'stream of thought' writing style. Oh, and for those who have seen 'Princess Mononoke', you'll understand the visuals better when I'm describing the brown spots and the worms surrounding Spike's body." Oi! I think this part may be rated R for some of the imagery, so I'm changing my uh. rating to R, because of the 'dark' parts. I mean I do censor the really bad swear words.
I'm going to do a series of short chapters, prolly 3 or 4. Each one will describe the dreams that Spike is having. These chapters will explain what happened in that interval of time that Spike was gone. Most of these things did happen to him, only the parts that are too weird didn't happen.
~~~~~~~
William moaned as he tossed and turned in his bed, the nightmares silently bombarded him as the past trickled back slowly, like a tap that wasn't closed all the way.
"Buffy I know I can't make up for anything that I did, especially for trying to rape you. But I want to try to make your life easier, somehow try to make as much as I can for what I did to you."
Spike stood there with his hands in his pocket, it was nighttime on his side, but Buffy was standing in the sunlight. Her hair shined like golden glitter scattered across the ground.
"You can't make up for what you did." Her voice was dead. "I don't ever want to see you again."
"I promise I won't hurt you. I got a soul..."
She turned away. "Leave me alone, it is over. It was over. It's not really over because it never happened in the first place. We were never together."
"But what we did." Spike pleaded.
"It was lust, not love." Buffy said, but it was like he could read her thoughts. 'I was just using you to make the hurt go away. And the hurt has gone away because I gave it to you. Now you'll hurt for eternity."
"No, I was using you, to fulfill my dream of you falling in love with me. I was addicted to the fantasy and we both got hurt. I can't give you back your pain?. I can't give you back your pain." Spike muttered himself.
"Hey dead boy." Buffy disappeared and Spike turned around to face Xander.
"You evil, disgusting thing. How could you do that with Anya? She was my fiancé."
"We were all hurting. I wasn't thinking straight."
"You're still evil and dead. It doesn't matter whether you have a soul or not, I'll never forgive. You probably have a rotten soul anyways." Xander pointed at where Spike's heart was.
Spike looked down and saw a hole where his heart should be, the flesh was rotting away and there were worming crawling out.
Spike whimpered as he backed away from Xander. "No, stop."
"How could you do that to Buffy?" Spike immediately recognized Dawn's voice.
"Lil' bit. I'm sorry."
"How could you leave." Dawn began to sob as she backed away from him.
"I'm back now. I promise I won't ever leave again. I was bastard before, trying to hurt your sister and your friends. But I've changed. I'm a good man. I'm just asking you to see me."
Dawn looked up with blazing, hate-filled eyes. "You're beneath us."
"Nibblet you don't mean that."
"You're not welcome here anymore. Don't ever come back" Dawn slowly morphed into Buffy.
"I ask for penance!"
" No matter what you do or what you are. You are forever trapped in this limbo where you'll never belong."
"You're not apart of my family anymore." Drusilla said as she stepped out of the shadows, she gave him a kiss on the cheek and then began to shriek, "You taste like the slayer! You taste like ashes! Ashes ashes we all fall down.You're sick my Spike."
Spike looked down and realized that the brown spots and stripes had grown all over his body. His arm, where the worms had touched began to throb with excruciating pain. Everyone else disappeared and he was back on that hill again where he killed that monster. Leng was rushing over with a jug of cold water she quickly poured the water over the area that the worms had touched. They had left these brown stripes on his left wrist.
"You've been infected. Come stay with us. I'll try to treat your illness."
"Can I be cured?"
Leng looked in his eyes and saw the deep pain that he couldn't hide or stifle. "No, most likely not. It's evening, why don't you stay for the night and get some rest. It's least we can do for saving our village."
"I travel better at night."
"I know. You can travel another night. For now, we have to try to cure you."
"I bring sorrow, chaos and sadness wherever I go. It's best that I don't stay with you."
"You don't have a choice."
Spike closed his eyes and sighed, feeling very weary, then he woke up and found himself in a old bed made out of large branches that were tied together. He was sleeping one some sort of straw mattress and covered with a cotton comforter.
The windows were covered with heavy blankets.
Spike blinked again and found himself standing outside of the village. 'I can't stay, I'll only hurt more people. I always have to move, if I keep moving no one will be hurt. I won't be hurt. I give anyone enough time to reject me. He looked down at heart-shaped glass cradled in his hands, it was cracked in many spots, if any it received any more damage, it would surely shatter. His left hand throbbed even more painfully, he pulled up the sleeve of his jacket and saw that the brown spots and stripes now covered his whole arm.
He turned around and quietly strode away, he quietly hitched a ride from one of the local farmers and headed to a nearby city. He fell asleep during the ride and when he woked up once again he was in a room. There were candles, shattered glass and blood everywhere in the hotel room, he looked at the corner and he saw himself with a jagged piece of glass in his hand, there numerous cuts everywhere.
He gasped in shock and backed away until the back of his legs touched the bed, he hissed in pain as a basin of holy water tipped over and spilled over the back of his right leg, but it felt like it spilt all over him. The blinding pain shocked him for a second. He continued to stare at his doggelapper in the corner, soon he noticed that his doggelapper's reflection slowly began to appear in the shattered mirror pieces. Spike rubbed his eyes and suddenly he wasn't in the hotel room anymore.
He was laying on a table, like a makeshift surgical table. "Where am I?"
Leng came into view, she had three needles in her hand. One of the needles was connected to a pump. "You shall no longer be of one kind, but of three."
She connected the first needle to him and began to pump his borrowed blood out of him.
Spike looked up in pain, "Why?"
"This is my role, this is my destiny. To change you, to reshape you."
"Why?"
"Because 'he' needs you. The disease is getting worse. He can help you quarantine it."
"Who is he?"
But before Leng could answer Spike passed out from the loss of blood. She then stuck in two more needles, one on each arm. There was blood coming from two jars, one said 'Human' and the other said 'Immortal'.
Spike woke up, "It hurts."
"It's eating you alive" Leng replied.
"What is ?"
Leng pointed at his chest. The brown spots and stripes now covered his upper torso, his left arm and his right arm.
"It's feeding on your pain."
"What's happening to me?"
"You have too much pain. It feeds on you pain until it has destroyed your souls. Then."
"Then what?"
"Then you become that monster that you first killed when you came here."
"Make it go away."
"I can't make it go away completely. There are consequences."
"Like what?"
"Forgetting."
"Forgetting?"
"Forgetting everything, who you were, what you are. Forgetting what caused your pain."
"I'm willing. More than willing. I'll beg you to make me forget everything."
"You hurt more than anyone I've ever know."
"You probably don't know that many people yet." Spike said as he smirked.
"I'm older than you. I was there since the beginning."
Spike gave her a confused look.
"Tell me your story and I will judge whether you should forget."
Spike opened his mouth and found that before he could say a thing, Leng nodded, "I see."
"You see?"
"Yes."
"How, I didn't say anything."
"You think you didn't say anything, but you did. 3 hours have passed already. Do you really want to forget?"
Spike paused for a second, but he replied in renewed confidence. "Yes."
"Very well. Drink."
As Spike brought the potion to his mouth, the world around him grew brighter as the light blinded him and everything turned pure white.
He found himself sitting on the grass outside in the sun, watching the trees wave and the clouds float by. It was so eerily peaceful, he could have almost heard the sound of harps playing a ghostly melody.
Suddenly the sky turned red and the peaceful scenery disintegrated. The creature covered with worms came at him and the worms soon sounded his body. The agony burned his soul, the creature fueled his hate, and the creature devoured him alive.
"You'll never escape me!" It screeched into his ears until he bled. Then he started to vomit blood and the worms seeped into his pores and crawled under his skin. Then a shrill scream of pain wracked his being.
~~~~
William woke up with a blood-curdling scream. He shook furiously, unable to stop, his sweat poured from his body, soaking his clothes and the sheets. He quickly rushed into his bathroom and got into the shower. He blasted the cold water on and sat there, curled up in the corner sobbing as the cold, needle-like spray rained down on him.
~~~
Note: this chapter will be really weird and not make too much sense since I'm using the 'stream of thought' writing style. Oh, and for those who have seen 'Princess Mononoke', you'll understand the visuals better when I'm describing the brown spots and the worms surrounding Spike's body." Oi! I think this part may be rated R for some of the imagery, so I'm changing my uh. rating to R, because of the 'dark' parts. I mean I do censor the really bad swear words.
I'm going to do a series of short chapters, prolly 3 or 4. Each one will describe the dreams that Spike is having. These chapters will explain what happened in that interval of time that Spike was gone. Most of these things did happen to him, only the parts that are too weird didn't happen.
~~~~~~~
William moaned as he tossed and turned in his bed, the nightmares silently bombarded him as the past trickled back slowly, like a tap that wasn't closed all the way.
"Buffy I know I can't make up for anything that I did, especially for trying to rape you. But I want to try to make your life easier, somehow try to make as much as I can for what I did to you."
Spike stood there with his hands in his pocket, it was nighttime on his side, but Buffy was standing in the sunlight. Her hair shined like golden glitter scattered across the ground.
"You can't make up for what you did." Her voice was dead. "I don't ever want to see you again."
"I promise I won't hurt you. I got a soul..."
She turned away. "Leave me alone, it is over. It was over. It's not really over because it never happened in the first place. We were never together."
"But what we did." Spike pleaded.
"It was lust, not love." Buffy said, but it was like he could read her thoughts. 'I was just using you to make the hurt go away. And the hurt has gone away because I gave it to you. Now you'll hurt for eternity."
"No, I was using you, to fulfill my dream of you falling in love with me. I was addicted to the fantasy and we both got hurt. I can't give you back your pain?. I can't give you back your pain." Spike muttered himself.
"Hey dead boy." Buffy disappeared and Spike turned around to face Xander.
"You evil, disgusting thing. How could you do that with Anya? She was my fiancé."
"We were all hurting. I wasn't thinking straight."
"You're still evil and dead. It doesn't matter whether you have a soul or not, I'll never forgive. You probably have a rotten soul anyways." Xander pointed at where Spike's heart was.
Spike looked down and saw a hole where his heart should be, the flesh was rotting away and there were worming crawling out.
Spike whimpered as he backed away from Xander. "No, stop."
"How could you do that to Buffy?" Spike immediately recognized Dawn's voice.
"Lil' bit. I'm sorry."
"How could you leave." Dawn began to sob as she backed away from him.
"I'm back now. I promise I won't ever leave again. I was bastard before, trying to hurt your sister and your friends. But I've changed. I'm a good man. I'm just asking you to see me."
Dawn looked up with blazing, hate-filled eyes. "You're beneath us."
"Nibblet you don't mean that."
"You're not welcome here anymore. Don't ever come back" Dawn slowly morphed into Buffy.
"I ask for penance!"
" No matter what you do or what you are. You are forever trapped in this limbo where you'll never belong."
"You're not apart of my family anymore." Drusilla said as she stepped out of the shadows, she gave him a kiss on the cheek and then began to shriek, "You taste like the slayer! You taste like ashes! Ashes ashes we all fall down.You're sick my Spike."
Spike looked down and realized that the brown spots and stripes had grown all over his body. His arm, where the worms had touched began to throb with excruciating pain. Everyone else disappeared and he was back on that hill again where he killed that monster. Leng was rushing over with a jug of cold water she quickly poured the water over the area that the worms had touched. They had left these brown stripes on his left wrist.
"You've been infected. Come stay with us. I'll try to treat your illness."
"Can I be cured?"
Leng looked in his eyes and saw the deep pain that he couldn't hide or stifle. "No, most likely not. It's evening, why don't you stay for the night and get some rest. It's least we can do for saving our village."
"I travel better at night."
"I know. You can travel another night. For now, we have to try to cure you."
"I bring sorrow, chaos and sadness wherever I go. It's best that I don't stay with you."
"You don't have a choice."
Spike closed his eyes and sighed, feeling very weary, then he woke up and found himself in a old bed made out of large branches that were tied together. He was sleeping one some sort of straw mattress and covered with a cotton comforter.
The windows were covered with heavy blankets.
Spike blinked again and found himself standing outside of the village. 'I can't stay, I'll only hurt more people. I always have to move, if I keep moving no one will be hurt. I won't be hurt. I give anyone enough time to reject me. He looked down at heart-shaped glass cradled in his hands, it was cracked in many spots, if any it received any more damage, it would surely shatter. His left hand throbbed even more painfully, he pulled up the sleeve of his jacket and saw that the brown spots and stripes now covered his whole arm.
He turned around and quietly strode away, he quietly hitched a ride from one of the local farmers and headed to a nearby city. He fell asleep during the ride and when he woked up once again he was in a room. There were candles, shattered glass and blood everywhere in the hotel room, he looked at the corner and he saw himself with a jagged piece of glass in his hand, there numerous cuts everywhere.
He gasped in shock and backed away until the back of his legs touched the bed, he hissed in pain as a basin of holy water tipped over and spilled over the back of his right leg, but it felt like it spilt all over him. The blinding pain shocked him for a second. He continued to stare at his doggelapper in the corner, soon he noticed that his doggelapper's reflection slowly began to appear in the shattered mirror pieces. Spike rubbed his eyes and suddenly he wasn't in the hotel room anymore.
He was laying on a table, like a makeshift surgical table. "Where am I?"
Leng came into view, she had three needles in her hand. One of the needles was connected to a pump. "You shall no longer be of one kind, but of three."
She connected the first needle to him and began to pump his borrowed blood out of him.
Spike looked up in pain, "Why?"
"This is my role, this is my destiny. To change you, to reshape you."
"Why?"
"Because 'he' needs you. The disease is getting worse. He can help you quarantine it."
"Who is he?"
But before Leng could answer Spike passed out from the loss of blood. She then stuck in two more needles, one on each arm. There was blood coming from two jars, one said 'Human' and the other said 'Immortal'.
Spike woke up, "It hurts."
"It's eating you alive" Leng replied.
"What is ?"
Leng pointed at his chest. The brown spots and stripes now covered his upper torso, his left arm and his right arm.
"It's feeding on your pain."
"What's happening to me?"
"You have too much pain. It feeds on you pain until it has destroyed your souls. Then."
"Then what?"
"Then you become that monster that you first killed when you came here."
"Make it go away."
"I can't make it go away completely. There are consequences."
"Like what?"
"Forgetting."
"Forgetting?"
"Forgetting everything, who you were, what you are. Forgetting what caused your pain."
"I'm willing. More than willing. I'll beg you to make me forget everything."
"You hurt more than anyone I've ever know."
"You probably don't know that many people yet." Spike said as he smirked.
"I'm older than you. I was there since the beginning."
Spike gave her a confused look.
"Tell me your story and I will judge whether you should forget."
Spike opened his mouth and found that before he could say a thing, Leng nodded, "I see."
"You see?"
"Yes."
"How, I didn't say anything."
"You think you didn't say anything, but you did. 3 hours have passed already. Do you really want to forget?"
Spike paused for a second, but he replied in renewed confidence. "Yes."
"Very well. Drink."
As Spike brought the potion to his mouth, the world around him grew brighter as the light blinded him and everything turned pure white.
He found himself sitting on the grass outside in the sun, watching the trees wave and the clouds float by. It was so eerily peaceful, he could have almost heard the sound of harps playing a ghostly melody.
Suddenly the sky turned red and the peaceful scenery disintegrated. The creature covered with worms came at him and the worms soon sounded his body. The agony burned his soul, the creature fueled his hate, and the creature devoured him alive.
"You'll never escape me!" It screeched into his ears until he bled. Then he started to vomit blood and the worms seeped into his pores and crawled under his skin. Then a shrill scream of pain wracked his being.
~~~~
William woke up with a blood-curdling scream. He shook furiously, unable to stop, his sweat poured from his body, soaking his clothes and the sheets. He quickly rushed into his bathroom and got into the shower. He blasted the cold water on and sat there, curled up in the corner sobbing as the cold, needle-like spray rained down on him.
~~~