Hey everyone! This is my first 'Recess' fan fic. I've been wanting to do
one for awhile now, but have put if off, because I'm lazy. ~_^ Well here
it is for you.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Recess characters, or the song. The song is 'Crush' By Mandy Moore. It's a very good song.
On with the story.
Crush - A TJ/Spinelli fic by Bandana Gurl
Ashley Spinelli dragged herself home after yet another long and monotonous day of school. It wasn't so much the work that drove her crazy, it was the fact that her best friend TJ was always flirting with that STUPID, PATHETIC, Ashley A, and what was worse, was that she LIKED it, and flirted BACK. It seemed that everyone loved TJ. Even Spinelli. ~That's the trouble. I like him more than a friend ~, and of course, he had absolutely NO idea.
As she passed by Kelso's, Spinelli suddenly remembered that one day when she and TJ were there. Alone. Practically a date. They'd shared personal, intimate things with each other. TJ knew all of her fears (the little that she had). Ever since they were kids, TJ was always the one with spunk. He did things Spinelli wished she could do.
~ You know everything that I'm afraid of You do everything I wish I did Everybody wants you, everybody loves you~
But that was such a long time ago, and their childish games had long since passed. At age 16, Spinelli had grown into a rather pretty, mature young woman. though she hardly acted like it. She was still partial to putting on the 'tough girl' act. But when she was around TJ, all of her facades seemed to disappear, and she was a lonely, lost, girl unsure of what to do. It was like she couldn't be herself around him.
".penny for your thoughts Spinelli?"
A voice startled her out of her troubled mind. She whirled around to see the smiling face of Gretchen Grundler, her best girlfriend. Gretchen had taken to popularity quite nicely, and was still one of the smartest girls in their grade. She had fashion, style, and grace. Something that she lacked in her childhood years.
"I don't think you want to hear my thoughts" Spinelli mumbled.
"Of course I do. You're my friend. Why wouldn't I want to indulge myself in the frivolous life of my best friend?"
Spinelli sighed. Sometimes, like now, Gretchen got to be too much. "Well today, TJ was flirting with Ashley A, and she LIKED it, and was flirting BACK."
She saw Gretchen's thoughtful gaze, and realized what she'd said. Inwardly she groaned.
"And that bothers you why?"
"I dunno. It just does." Far be it for Spinelli to ever admit to having a crush on someone. Why, it could ruin her reputation.
"Oh really?" Gretchen raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow.
"Why are you harping on it? Do YOU like TJ?" Spinelli teased.
"Very funny." Gretchen punched her friend's shoulder. "And for your information, yes there is a guy that I like, but It's not TJ, and I'm not sure if he likes me."
"And who would this mystery man be?"
Spinelli was in a better mood now, Ashley A forgotten. For the time being anyways.
"Oh you know him." a faint line of pink appeared on her cheeks, and Spinelli stared at her, shocked.
"Ok. lemme guess.. Joey?"
"No." her face was getting a pretty shade of red by now.
"Ashton"
"Guess again."
Spinelli went through all the guy she knew, each with a negative response. Finally, she started naming close friends.
"Mikey."
Gretchen shook her head.
"Gus"
"As sweet as the guy is. no"
~Hmmm.~ Spinelli thought.
"Then that leaves." suddenly it dawned on her, and she stared at Gretchen in shock. "Is it Vince?" she asked her friend. Gretchen seemed interested in the ground all of the sudden.
"So it is! Who would have thought?" Spinelli surely wasn't expecting Vince, the biggest athlete in the school. But then again. stranger things have happened.
"You can't tell anyone!" Gretchen's voice became fierce.
"Of course I won't! If you can't trust your best friend, who CAN you trust?"
"You have a point there."
"Of course I do." Spinelli grinned.
Gretchen smiled back at her friend.
"I'm trying to work up the nerve to tell him, but it's so hard. Not that you'll be any help. After all, you've NEVER had a crush on someone. You couldn't possibly know what it's like to want the world to disappear, so you can tell him how you feel."
"Shows what you know." Spinelli muttered
"What was that?" Gretchen asked.
"Nothing, I was just talking to myself, is all." Spinelli trailed off.
"Do you want to come over?" Gretchen asked.
"Sure. I don't have anything else to do, except go home and mope around."
"Which isn't good for you anyways."
They walked to Gretchen's house, bantering along the way. Ashley A was now in the back of her mind, instead of mocking her, like the way things like that had a tendency to do.
~I know I should tell you how I feel I wish everyone would disappear Every time you call me, I'm too scared to be me And I'm too shy to say~
When Spinelli walked through the door at 7pm, the first thing that engulfed her, was the smell of dinner. Her mother came out of the kitchen.
"Have fun at Gretchen's dear?"
"How'd you know I was there?" Spinelli asked, taking off her boots.
"Because that's where you ALWAYS are, or you're over at TJ's, but I called there, and he wasn't even home, so I figured you were at Gretchen's."
"Since when did my own mother know more about my friends than I do?" Spinelli muttered to herself.
"What was that?"
"Nothing Mom."
Her mother smiled at her daughter.
"Well at any rate, you made it home in time. Dinner is in a few minutes."
"Actually, it's right now."
Spinelli's father came into the room.
"How's my pookey?" he asked, wrapping her into a hug. Spinelli laughed, and hugged him back.
"I'm fine dad." she said.
"Well that's good to hear. Now let's get some grub."
Spinelli followed her parents into the kitchen, feeling cheerful. ~Now if TJ could only like me. life would be perfect~ She thought.
* * * *
"Hey Spinelli."
It was homeroom. Spinelli, as usual, just barely making it on time. She had slumped her head on the desk, but now it snapped up, when she heard her name. She looked to see who had spoken to her, and it was none other than TJ. She got that familiar rush in her stomach. The rush she got every time she was around him.
TJ Detweiler was the most popular guy in the tenth grade, and easily the cutest. With chocolate brown eyes that could melt a rock, and a smile that could make any girl swoon, Spinelli was one of the many, many girls clamoring to get his attention and to notice them.
Today TJ was wearing his usual leather jacket, baggy jeans, and his unruly hair had been tamed somewhat. Spinelli could have spent hours looking at him, and never once getting bored or tired, but he was awaiting her answer, so she reluctantly tore her gaze away from him.
"Hey TJ" she tried to smile at him.
"What you doing tonight?" he asked, sitting in the desk beside her. Her stomach was doing flip-flops.
"Not much. What about you?"
"I have no idea."
Spinelli smiled. Today was already looking promising. ~Maybe if we can hang out at his house, I can finally tell him.~ she paled slightly. Just the mere THOUGHT of telling him was wracking on her nerves.
"Hey Spinelli, you ok?" TJ asked, seeing how pale she had suddenly become.
"I'm fine." She took a deep breath, and managed to steady her nerves.
"Where were we?" she asked, hoping he hadn't forgotten.
"We were talking about tonight."
"Hey TJ." A breathy voice floated past their ears.
~Oh great, Just what I need. Ashley A~ Spinelli tried to look bored, as Ashley came up to them.
"Hey Ash. What's up?" TJ asked, smiling at her.
God how Spinelli hated this. It was disgusting to watch, and yet she was transfixed, unable to move. Unable to do anything except listen and witness this horrible conversation.
"Nothing much. What about you?" Ashley batted her eyelashes at him, and TJ grinned at her. Spinelli wanted to throw up.
"Same here. Nothing."
Ashley gave a fake laugh. Spinelli wanted to scream, but of course just sat there and took it all in silence. It was expected of her. Sometimes she wished she could just lose it and totally kick Ashley A's arse, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. ~One of these days. you'll get yours.~ Spinelli thought. "Say TJ. want to come over tonight? We could watch a movie and hang out."
Even Spinelli knew that when Ashley A asked you to her house, and you were a cute guy, you never actually 'watched' the movie. In spite of herself, Spinelli was making a fist under her desk. ~There goes my promising day~ she thought through gritted teeth.
"Sure why not? Sounds like fun." TJ grinned.
"Great!"
As Ashley started to walk away, TJ called her back.
"What?" she asked.
"I just wanted to give you a sample of what to expect tonight."
Ashley A looked at him, confused.
"Say what?"
And in front of the entire class (or the few that were actually there on time) He kissed her. Ashley looked dazed when he released her.
"See you after school."
He sat back down, looking happy. Spinelli wanted to cry so bad.
"That Ashley is really something. Don't you think?" he asked her.
Spinelli wasn't sure if she could talk, so she just shrugged, but TJ didn't notice. He began going on about how pretty Ashley A was, and how amazing she was, and yadda, yadda, yadda. Finally, Spinelli couldn't stand it.
"Excuse me." She muttered, and got up out of her desk, running towards the bathroom, the scenery blurred by the sudden onslaught of tears. Once safely inside the bathroom, Spinelli locked herself in a stall. She slowly sank down to the floor, and let herself cry her heart out.
~ You know, I'm the one that you can talk to And sometimes you tell me things that i don't want to know I just want to hold you And you say exactly how you feel about her And I wonder, could you ever think of me that way~
When Spinelli finally emerged from the bathroom, half an hour later, no one could tell that she'd been crying. She made up an excuse to her homeroom teacher, who accepted it. Spinelli went though the rest of the day trapped in her own misery, though no one seemed to notice. There were times in class when she had to force herself not to cry. When school finally ended Spinelli was the first one to run out the classroom door, not heeding the teacher's complaint.
After a quick stop off at her locker, she walked out into the bright April day. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Ashley A get onto TJ's motorcycle, her helmet strapped on. She saw TJ get on, and start the engine. When Ashley wrapped her arms around his waist, Spinelli had to look away.
~It should be ME on that bike with him.~ she thought glumly, taking the long route home. Gretchen was busy that day with the math club, so Spinelli couldn't escape her dark mood. When she walked in the door, she was practically in tears. Luckily for her, no one was home. She ran up to her room, and collapsed on her bed, sobbing.
"I hate her! I hate her so much!" Spinelli cursed Ashley.
It wasn't fair! She wanted to hate TJ, but couldn't. She could never hate him. That made it all the more worse. She kept on thinking about him, and getting that rush, which was often followed by constant berating, and more tears. By the time she'd calmed down enough to face her parents, she could smell dinner cooking.
~Why does life have to suck so much?~ Spinelli thought, making her way downstairs, all the while thinking of the brown haired boy she loved so much.
~Ooh, I got a crush on you I hope you feel the way that i do I get a rush When I'm with you Ooh, I've got a crush on you A crush on you~
That night, sleep didn't come easy for Spinelli. She kept on dreaming of her and TJ, and then Ashley and TJ. Finally, she gave up all hope of sleeping, and lay awake, trying to think of something, ANYTHING, other than Ashley and TJ.
"You look tired pookey. Didn't sleep well?" Her father asked, the minute she walked into the kitchen.
"Not exactly." Spinelli muttered.
'Well a good, hot breakfast will wake you up." Her mother said, putting a plate of bacon and eggs in front of her. The last thing Spinelli wanted to do was eat, but she forced herself to choke down a few mouthfuls, and then escaped to her room to get dressed.
"Time to go!" her father called a few minutes later. Spinelli was wearing a blue jean skirt, a Chinese shirt, and her good pair of boots. She had also taken time to put her hair in a braid, instead of her usual messy ponytail. She carefully made her way downstairs.
"Nice outfit. Got a hot date?" her father teased.
"Can't a gal look nice just to look nice? Does there always have to a reason?"
"No of course not, but you don't usually dress up."
Spinelli shrugged, and got into the car. Her father looked at her suspiciously, but to her relief, he didn't say anything. Neither parent, nor child talked during the ten minute ride to school, but in that time, Spinelli had made a very important discovery.
She was totally, utterly, completely alone.
~Ooh, I wish i could tell somebody But there's no one to talk to, nobody knows I've got a crush on you A crush on you, I got a crush~
Spinelli walked into the classroom, trying to ignore the curious looks everyone was giving her. She sat at her desk, staring off into space, until she heard footsteps approach her, and stop. She looked over to see Ashley A staring her in the face. ~Oh joy~ she thought.
"What is that disgusting ensemble you're wearing?" she asked.
Spinelli couldn't take it anymore.
"They're called CLOTHES. Try wearing them sometime." She smirked at Ashley's scantily clad body. She heard her gasp.
"Why you little ingrate! I'll get you for that!"
"Try me. You know I could kick your sorry arse."
"Oh really? I'd love to see you try."
Spinelli shot a venomous glare at her.
"Gladly. I've been waiting for YEARS to give you what you deserve."
She stood up, taking her sweet time. She slowly approached Ashley.
"Sometime before I graduate."
Spinelli was seeing red, was preparing herself for total arse-kicking, when she heard a deep voice from behind her.
"What's going on?" Spinelli turned around to face TJ. He had an angry look on his face. Ashley started to cry.
"Oh TJ! Thank goodness you're here! Spinelli tried to attack me!"
She pratically jumped into his open arms.
"Now why would Spinelli do that?" TJ asked, holding Ashley protectively. Spinelli was struggling not to cry for like the hundreth time in two days.
"She hates me!" Ashley cried into his chest. It almost made Spinelli sick watching it all.
"That's not true!" she protested. "She may not be my best friend, but I don't hate her."
She noticed TJ glancing at her, and looked at him, confused.
"Why are you wearing a skirt Spinelli?"
"Because I wanted to." she trailed off.
"Well it looks good on you."
"You really think so?" Spinelli struggled to remain calm. TJ had complimented her! Her heart was beating twice it's normal rate.
"Would I lie?"
Suddenly, loud laughter filled the room. It was coming from Ashley.
"Ash?" TJ let go of her. She was laughing so hard, she could barely stand up.
"What is it?" TJ asked when she had calmed down somewhat.
"I know why Spinelli wore a skirt today! It's so obvious, it's a wonder that I didn't see it before."
As soon as Ashley uttered those words, Spinelli knew she was doomed. ~Life as I know it, is over.~ But she couldn't leave. She couldn't be the cowardly one. Ashley would never let her live it down. If she didn't hate the girl before, she certainly did now. ~And just when I thought things were going so well. He was the only one to compliment me on my skirt.~ she thought.
~You say everything that no one says But i feel everything that you're afraid to feel I will always want you, I will always love you I've got a crush...~
"So why did Spinelli wear a skirt?" TJ asked, looking at her curiously. Spinelli was trapped.
"Because." Ashley laughed. "She wanted to impress you! Don't you see TJ? Spinelli has a crush on you!"
She practically yelled the last few words. Silence reigned. And then the laughter suddenly erupted. TJ stared at Spinelli in shock.
"Is this true?" he asked.
Mutely Spinelli nodded her head. She couldn't stand to be there a second longer. She ran out of the classroom, not hearing the calls to come back. Spinelli ran down the hallways, and outdoors. She didn't stop running until she reached the elementary school. She collapsed on one of the swings. ~Stupid Ashley A.~
Spinelli couldn't go back. Not now. Not when he knew what she thought of him. Tears streamed down her face, but she refused to wipe them away. ~Let them be a reminder of my pain~ she thought.
"Spinelli?" the voice sounded incredulous. She ignored it, but she heard footsteps coming towards her.
"Go away!" she said harshly. But she could still feel the other person's presence.
"I said GO AWAY!" she shouted.
"Not until you tell me what's wrong." Spinelli whirled around to face Vince.
"What're you doing here?" she asked, momentarily distracted from her misery.
"I was walking to school, and I pass by the elementary school. I heard someone sobbing and came to investigate. That's when I saw you. You. The girl who prides herself on NEVER crying, in tears."
"So what's it to ya if 'm crying?" Spinelli asked angrily.
"Well there's obviously a reason" Vince said.
"And it ain't your business, so move on!" Spinelli began swinging violently, and for the next few minutes, the only sound heard was the creaking of the chains on the swing.
"Come on Spinelli. What's the big deal that you can't tell me why you're so upset?"
He heard the swing come to a halt.
"You wouldn't understand." She said finally.
"Try me."
"I'm crying because. Ashley A made a big fool of me in front of the entire class!"
"And that's something to cry over? And you of all people?" Vince looked at her in astonishment.
"You don't understand! She humiliated me in front of my crush!" she clamped a hand to mouth, realizing what she'd just said.
"Whoa, whoa, back up. Since when does Spinelli like someone?" Vince asked.
"Since grade 7" she said.
"And you never told anyone about it?" he sat down in the swing next to her, it's chains rattling.
"Not until today."
"And who is it?"
"Take a wild guess."
Vince thought for a moment, but drew a complete blank. The only person he thought of couldn't possibly be the one.
"The only person I can think of is TJ, but that's probably wrong." He said, but he was shocked by the look on her face.
"Yes. It is TJ."
"No Way!" ~Boy! Talk about totally off-the-wall..~ he thought.
"Yeah. Sad ain't it? Of course I tried to deny it, but you can only hold off love for so long." Spinelli said.
"I agree with you there."
"So you like someone too?" Spinelli's tears had long since dried, and she was feeling better.
"Kind of. but I doubt she likes me, so I'm probably going to totally forget it."
"Who is it?" Vince sighed.
"I can't tell you. You'll just tell her."
"And how do you know that?" Spinelli looked indignant.
"Because you tell your best friend everything."
Spinelli looked confused for a moment, and then realization hit.
"You like Gretchen?" she asked, astonished.
"Keep it quiet." He warned.
"This is great!" she had a huge grin on her face. ~I can set my friends up! At least they'll be happy~
"What's great?" Vince asked.
"Ya know what?.. I think you should go for it. Ask Gretchen out! What have you got to lose?"
"My dignity." He replied.
"Don't be so hard on yourself." Spinelli punched his arm.
"Well I don't know."
"Aw come on! If you can stand up against guys twice the size of you in a football scrimmage, then you can ask Gretchen Grundler out."
"Yeah! I can!" Vince stood up.
"Thanks Spinelli. I owe ya one."
She stood up too, and grinned at him.
"What are you waiting for? The leaves to turn green? Gretchen awaits."
Spinelli bade him a goodbye, and wandered around the neighborhood. She couldn't go back to school. Not yet. ~It's not like anyone will miss me~ She thought. Little did she know how wrong she was.
* * * *
TJ sat through his classes, barely registering anything the teachers were saying. All he could think about was the events of the morning. He had had no idea whatsoever that Spinelli had a crush on him, until Ashley told him, and then she'd admitted it to him, so she wasn't lying. Truth be told, before he knew, he, himself was confused on his own feelings for Spinelli.
TJ liked her as a friend of course, but as of late he was beginning to realize that he was starting to cross the threshold between 'friends' and 'more than friends'. It scared him. That was why he had backed off. He tried to find girls to distract him, but it wasn't working. Until he saw Ashley A walk by in that tight dress. One glance at her, seemed to push all thoughts of Spinelli away. But they would creep up late at night when he was trying to sleep, making him feel guilty.
TJ buried his face in his hands. Lucky for him, he sat in the back, so most of his antics went unnoticed. Good thing for him too, or he'd be in detention every day. As it was, he was in detention quite a bit. As the day went on, and as TJ thought more about it, his answer was becoming clearer. By the time the final bell rang, and he hadn't seen her all day, TJ knew he had to go find her, and talk to her.
He had to tell her that he returned her feelings for him.
* * * *
Spinelli had wandered into a place she'd only been in a few times. ~I have to be careful not to get lost~. She checked her watch, and saw that it was 3:30. ~Wow. I didn't realize it was so late~ She was pretty far from home, and would have to start walking back to get home before dinner.
As she walked down the deserted street, a wave of loneliness washed over her. ~If misery loves company.. why am I the only one miserable?~ she thought. Tears pricked the back of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes shut, and hear the squealing of tires, as they pulled up to the curb.
"Spinelli?" she heard the one voice that had refused to leave her head ever since she'd heard it this morning. ~And I didn't think life could get any worse.~ she opened her eyes, and saw TJ looking at her, straddling his motorcycle.
"Why aren't you off making out with Ashley? Come to rub it in that I'm a pathetic little girl?" she spat at him. TJ looked hurt.
"No, I came to find you, because I was worried."
"Well I'm here, so don't bother worrying." She started walking away.
"Spinelli wait!" she slowed her pace. "Just leave me alone!" she shouted over her shoulder. ~Why is he bothering me anyway?~ She could feel the wetness behind her eyes.
"Do you want a ride?" she heard him ask. She stopped dead in her tracks. She turned to face him. He was holding out a helmet towards her.
"But what about Ashley?" she was trying not to sound hopeful.
"What about her? I'm asking you if you want a ride or not"
Spinelli couldn't believe it.
"Yes!"
She grabbed the helmet, and carefully strapped it on. It fit perfectly.
"Hop on!" TJ said, holding the bike steady.
~This is a dream. It must be a dream.~ and yet it felt too real to be a dream. She settled herself on the bike, thanking her lucky stars that her skirt wasn't riding halfway up her butt. TJ got on, and started the engine.
"Now hold on tight." He said.
~This is so not happening!~ Spinelli thought, as she gingerly wrapped her arms around him, feeling every muscle in his defined torso. ~I swear I'm in heaven.~.
They rode along the road, Spinelli feeling so blissful and happy, she was nearly weeping tears of joy. All too soon, TJ parked in front of her house.
"Well I guess I'll see you." she said, reluctantly getting off the bike.
"Thanks for the ride."
She was surprised to see him dismount as well. She looked at him, confused.
"We need to talk." He said.
Spinelli gulped, as they walked up the front steps, and settled on the front porch. ~I knew it couldn't last.~ She braced herself.
"Listen Spinelli. about today." he looked uncomfortable.
She sighed.
"It really shouldn't have happened. I know. It's not my fault Ashley is an evil conniving little creep who likes to tell lies-"
"No you don't understand!" TJ said, cutting off her rant.
Spinelli fell silent.
"I mean. what you don't understand. Is that I've been doing a lot of thinking since this morning, and it's made me come to a conclusion of sorts."
"..that you're in love with Ashley A?" Spinelli asked, already mentally trying to think of a way to console a broken heart.
He looked at her in amazement.
"Do you really believe that?" he asked.
"Ever since this morning, I don't know WHAT to believe any more" she said glumly.
He gulped.
"Well, believe this."
He gently pressed his lips to hers, and Spnielli stopped breathing. It was the most amazing, perfect moment she had ever experienced in her entire life. TJ's kiss was so gentle, it was almost heart-aching.
"What was that for?" she asked, when she got her breath back.
"Don't you get it Spinelli?" he asked, he leaned close to her, and she could feel his hot, sweet breath on her face It made her knees quiver, and her heartbeat go crazy.
"Get what?" she whispered.
"I like you too."
She gasped at his admission, and stared at him bewildered, amazed, and shocked all at once.
"A-are you s-serious?" she choked out.
"Yes I am." He grinned at her, making her heart soar above the clouds.
In a bold move, she wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him.
"Thanks" she said, when she released him. "You're one amazing girl. You know that Spinelli?" he said, getting up. She stood up, and he wrapped his arms around her waist. She could feel the warmth, and lapped it up.
"I do now" she replied.
He bade her a goodbye, but not before giving her one final kiss.
"See you tomorrow." He said, hopping onto his bike.
"See you" she breathed.
When the bike was out of sight, Spinelli let out a shriek of pure joy.
Yup. Life was perfect.
~Ooh, I got a crush on you I hope you feel the way that i do I get a rush When I'm with you Ooh, I've got a crush on you A crush on you~
~*Fin*~
Well folks, there ya have it. My first recess fic! (and actually, my first song fic too!) Please review. Don't care if it's bad or good, I appreciate all comments. But ya, I had fun writing it, and I hope ya had fun reading it. Until next time! Ja ne! ~_^ Bandana Gurl.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Recess characters, or the song. The song is 'Crush' By Mandy Moore. It's a very good song.
On with the story.
Crush - A TJ/Spinelli fic by Bandana Gurl
Ashley Spinelli dragged herself home after yet another long and monotonous day of school. It wasn't so much the work that drove her crazy, it was the fact that her best friend TJ was always flirting with that STUPID, PATHETIC, Ashley A, and what was worse, was that she LIKED it, and flirted BACK. It seemed that everyone loved TJ. Even Spinelli. ~That's the trouble. I like him more than a friend ~, and of course, he had absolutely NO idea.
As she passed by Kelso's, Spinelli suddenly remembered that one day when she and TJ were there. Alone. Practically a date. They'd shared personal, intimate things with each other. TJ knew all of her fears (the little that she had). Ever since they were kids, TJ was always the one with spunk. He did things Spinelli wished she could do.
~ You know everything that I'm afraid of You do everything I wish I did Everybody wants you, everybody loves you~
But that was such a long time ago, and their childish games had long since passed. At age 16, Spinelli had grown into a rather pretty, mature young woman. though she hardly acted like it. She was still partial to putting on the 'tough girl' act. But when she was around TJ, all of her facades seemed to disappear, and she was a lonely, lost, girl unsure of what to do. It was like she couldn't be herself around him.
".penny for your thoughts Spinelli?"
A voice startled her out of her troubled mind. She whirled around to see the smiling face of Gretchen Grundler, her best girlfriend. Gretchen had taken to popularity quite nicely, and was still one of the smartest girls in their grade. She had fashion, style, and grace. Something that she lacked in her childhood years.
"I don't think you want to hear my thoughts" Spinelli mumbled.
"Of course I do. You're my friend. Why wouldn't I want to indulge myself in the frivolous life of my best friend?"
Spinelli sighed. Sometimes, like now, Gretchen got to be too much. "Well today, TJ was flirting with Ashley A, and she LIKED it, and was flirting BACK."
She saw Gretchen's thoughtful gaze, and realized what she'd said. Inwardly she groaned.
"And that bothers you why?"
"I dunno. It just does." Far be it for Spinelli to ever admit to having a crush on someone. Why, it could ruin her reputation.
"Oh really?" Gretchen raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow.
"Why are you harping on it? Do YOU like TJ?" Spinelli teased.
"Very funny." Gretchen punched her friend's shoulder. "And for your information, yes there is a guy that I like, but It's not TJ, and I'm not sure if he likes me."
"And who would this mystery man be?"
Spinelli was in a better mood now, Ashley A forgotten. For the time being anyways.
"Oh you know him." a faint line of pink appeared on her cheeks, and Spinelli stared at her, shocked.
"Ok. lemme guess.. Joey?"
"No." her face was getting a pretty shade of red by now.
"Ashton"
"Guess again."
Spinelli went through all the guy she knew, each with a negative response. Finally, she started naming close friends.
"Mikey."
Gretchen shook her head.
"Gus"
"As sweet as the guy is. no"
~Hmmm.~ Spinelli thought.
"Then that leaves." suddenly it dawned on her, and she stared at Gretchen in shock. "Is it Vince?" she asked her friend. Gretchen seemed interested in the ground all of the sudden.
"So it is! Who would have thought?" Spinelli surely wasn't expecting Vince, the biggest athlete in the school. But then again. stranger things have happened.
"You can't tell anyone!" Gretchen's voice became fierce.
"Of course I won't! If you can't trust your best friend, who CAN you trust?"
"You have a point there."
"Of course I do." Spinelli grinned.
Gretchen smiled back at her friend.
"I'm trying to work up the nerve to tell him, but it's so hard. Not that you'll be any help. After all, you've NEVER had a crush on someone. You couldn't possibly know what it's like to want the world to disappear, so you can tell him how you feel."
"Shows what you know." Spinelli muttered
"What was that?" Gretchen asked.
"Nothing, I was just talking to myself, is all." Spinelli trailed off.
"Do you want to come over?" Gretchen asked.
"Sure. I don't have anything else to do, except go home and mope around."
"Which isn't good for you anyways."
They walked to Gretchen's house, bantering along the way. Ashley A was now in the back of her mind, instead of mocking her, like the way things like that had a tendency to do.
~I know I should tell you how I feel I wish everyone would disappear Every time you call me, I'm too scared to be me And I'm too shy to say~
When Spinelli walked through the door at 7pm, the first thing that engulfed her, was the smell of dinner. Her mother came out of the kitchen.
"Have fun at Gretchen's dear?"
"How'd you know I was there?" Spinelli asked, taking off her boots.
"Because that's where you ALWAYS are, or you're over at TJ's, but I called there, and he wasn't even home, so I figured you were at Gretchen's."
"Since when did my own mother know more about my friends than I do?" Spinelli muttered to herself.
"What was that?"
"Nothing Mom."
Her mother smiled at her daughter.
"Well at any rate, you made it home in time. Dinner is in a few minutes."
"Actually, it's right now."
Spinelli's father came into the room.
"How's my pookey?" he asked, wrapping her into a hug. Spinelli laughed, and hugged him back.
"I'm fine dad." she said.
"Well that's good to hear. Now let's get some grub."
Spinelli followed her parents into the kitchen, feeling cheerful. ~Now if TJ could only like me. life would be perfect~ She thought.
* * * *
"Hey Spinelli."
It was homeroom. Spinelli, as usual, just barely making it on time. She had slumped her head on the desk, but now it snapped up, when she heard her name. She looked to see who had spoken to her, and it was none other than TJ. She got that familiar rush in her stomach. The rush she got every time she was around him.
TJ Detweiler was the most popular guy in the tenth grade, and easily the cutest. With chocolate brown eyes that could melt a rock, and a smile that could make any girl swoon, Spinelli was one of the many, many girls clamoring to get his attention and to notice them.
Today TJ was wearing his usual leather jacket, baggy jeans, and his unruly hair had been tamed somewhat. Spinelli could have spent hours looking at him, and never once getting bored or tired, but he was awaiting her answer, so she reluctantly tore her gaze away from him.
"Hey TJ" she tried to smile at him.
"What you doing tonight?" he asked, sitting in the desk beside her. Her stomach was doing flip-flops.
"Not much. What about you?"
"I have no idea."
Spinelli smiled. Today was already looking promising. ~Maybe if we can hang out at his house, I can finally tell him.~ she paled slightly. Just the mere THOUGHT of telling him was wracking on her nerves.
"Hey Spinelli, you ok?" TJ asked, seeing how pale she had suddenly become.
"I'm fine." She took a deep breath, and managed to steady her nerves.
"Where were we?" she asked, hoping he hadn't forgotten.
"We were talking about tonight."
"Hey TJ." A breathy voice floated past their ears.
~Oh great, Just what I need. Ashley A~ Spinelli tried to look bored, as Ashley came up to them.
"Hey Ash. What's up?" TJ asked, smiling at her.
God how Spinelli hated this. It was disgusting to watch, and yet she was transfixed, unable to move. Unable to do anything except listen and witness this horrible conversation.
"Nothing much. What about you?" Ashley batted her eyelashes at him, and TJ grinned at her. Spinelli wanted to throw up.
"Same here. Nothing."
Ashley gave a fake laugh. Spinelli wanted to scream, but of course just sat there and took it all in silence. It was expected of her. Sometimes she wished she could just lose it and totally kick Ashley A's arse, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. ~One of these days. you'll get yours.~ Spinelli thought. "Say TJ. want to come over tonight? We could watch a movie and hang out."
Even Spinelli knew that when Ashley A asked you to her house, and you were a cute guy, you never actually 'watched' the movie. In spite of herself, Spinelli was making a fist under her desk. ~There goes my promising day~ she thought through gritted teeth.
"Sure why not? Sounds like fun." TJ grinned.
"Great!"
As Ashley started to walk away, TJ called her back.
"What?" she asked.
"I just wanted to give you a sample of what to expect tonight."
Ashley A looked at him, confused.
"Say what?"
And in front of the entire class (or the few that were actually there on time) He kissed her. Ashley looked dazed when he released her.
"See you after school."
He sat back down, looking happy. Spinelli wanted to cry so bad.
"That Ashley is really something. Don't you think?" he asked her.
Spinelli wasn't sure if she could talk, so she just shrugged, but TJ didn't notice. He began going on about how pretty Ashley A was, and how amazing she was, and yadda, yadda, yadda. Finally, Spinelli couldn't stand it.
"Excuse me." She muttered, and got up out of her desk, running towards the bathroom, the scenery blurred by the sudden onslaught of tears. Once safely inside the bathroom, Spinelli locked herself in a stall. She slowly sank down to the floor, and let herself cry her heart out.
~ You know, I'm the one that you can talk to And sometimes you tell me things that i don't want to know I just want to hold you And you say exactly how you feel about her And I wonder, could you ever think of me that way~
When Spinelli finally emerged from the bathroom, half an hour later, no one could tell that she'd been crying. She made up an excuse to her homeroom teacher, who accepted it. Spinelli went though the rest of the day trapped in her own misery, though no one seemed to notice. There were times in class when she had to force herself not to cry. When school finally ended Spinelli was the first one to run out the classroom door, not heeding the teacher's complaint.
After a quick stop off at her locker, she walked out into the bright April day. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Ashley A get onto TJ's motorcycle, her helmet strapped on. She saw TJ get on, and start the engine. When Ashley wrapped her arms around his waist, Spinelli had to look away.
~It should be ME on that bike with him.~ she thought glumly, taking the long route home. Gretchen was busy that day with the math club, so Spinelli couldn't escape her dark mood. When she walked in the door, she was practically in tears. Luckily for her, no one was home. She ran up to her room, and collapsed on her bed, sobbing.
"I hate her! I hate her so much!" Spinelli cursed Ashley.
It wasn't fair! She wanted to hate TJ, but couldn't. She could never hate him. That made it all the more worse. She kept on thinking about him, and getting that rush, which was often followed by constant berating, and more tears. By the time she'd calmed down enough to face her parents, she could smell dinner cooking.
~Why does life have to suck so much?~ Spinelli thought, making her way downstairs, all the while thinking of the brown haired boy she loved so much.
~Ooh, I got a crush on you I hope you feel the way that i do I get a rush When I'm with you Ooh, I've got a crush on you A crush on you~
That night, sleep didn't come easy for Spinelli. She kept on dreaming of her and TJ, and then Ashley and TJ. Finally, she gave up all hope of sleeping, and lay awake, trying to think of something, ANYTHING, other than Ashley and TJ.
"You look tired pookey. Didn't sleep well?" Her father asked, the minute she walked into the kitchen.
"Not exactly." Spinelli muttered.
'Well a good, hot breakfast will wake you up." Her mother said, putting a plate of bacon and eggs in front of her. The last thing Spinelli wanted to do was eat, but she forced herself to choke down a few mouthfuls, and then escaped to her room to get dressed.
"Time to go!" her father called a few minutes later. Spinelli was wearing a blue jean skirt, a Chinese shirt, and her good pair of boots. She had also taken time to put her hair in a braid, instead of her usual messy ponytail. She carefully made her way downstairs.
"Nice outfit. Got a hot date?" her father teased.
"Can't a gal look nice just to look nice? Does there always have to a reason?"
"No of course not, but you don't usually dress up."
Spinelli shrugged, and got into the car. Her father looked at her suspiciously, but to her relief, he didn't say anything. Neither parent, nor child talked during the ten minute ride to school, but in that time, Spinelli had made a very important discovery.
She was totally, utterly, completely alone.
~Ooh, I wish i could tell somebody But there's no one to talk to, nobody knows I've got a crush on you A crush on you, I got a crush~
Spinelli walked into the classroom, trying to ignore the curious looks everyone was giving her. She sat at her desk, staring off into space, until she heard footsteps approach her, and stop. She looked over to see Ashley A staring her in the face. ~Oh joy~ she thought.
"What is that disgusting ensemble you're wearing?" she asked.
Spinelli couldn't take it anymore.
"They're called CLOTHES. Try wearing them sometime." She smirked at Ashley's scantily clad body. She heard her gasp.
"Why you little ingrate! I'll get you for that!"
"Try me. You know I could kick your sorry arse."
"Oh really? I'd love to see you try."
Spinelli shot a venomous glare at her.
"Gladly. I've been waiting for YEARS to give you what you deserve."
She stood up, taking her sweet time. She slowly approached Ashley.
"Sometime before I graduate."
Spinelli was seeing red, was preparing herself for total arse-kicking, when she heard a deep voice from behind her.
"What's going on?" Spinelli turned around to face TJ. He had an angry look on his face. Ashley started to cry.
"Oh TJ! Thank goodness you're here! Spinelli tried to attack me!"
She pratically jumped into his open arms.
"Now why would Spinelli do that?" TJ asked, holding Ashley protectively. Spinelli was struggling not to cry for like the hundreth time in two days.
"She hates me!" Ashley cried into his chest. It almost made Spinelli sick watching it all.
"That's not true!" she protested. "She may not be my best friend, but I don't hate her."
She noticed TJ glancing at her, and looked at him, confused.
"Why are you wearing a skirt Spinelli?"
"Because I wanted to." she trailed off.
"Well it looks good on you."
"You really think so?" Spinelli struggled to remain calm. TJ had complimented her! Her heart was beating twice it's normal rate.
"Would I lie?"
Suddenly, loud laughter filled the room. It was coming from Ashley.
"Ash?" TJ let go of her. She was laughing so hard, she could barely stand up.
"What is it?" TJ asked when she had calmed down somewhat.
"I know why Spinelli wore a skirt today! It's so obvious, it's a wonder that I didn't see it before."
As soon as Ashley uttered those words, Spinelli knew she was doomed. ~Life as I know it, is over.~ But she couldn't leave. She couldn't be the cowardly one. Ashley would never let her live it down. If she didn't hate the girl before, she certainly did now. ~And just when I thought things were going so well. He was the only one to compliment me on my skirt.~ she thought.
~You say everything that no one says But i feel everything that you're afraid to feel I will always want you, I will always love you I've got a crush...~
"So why did Spinelli wear a skirt?" TJ asked, looking at her curiously. Spinelli was trapped.
"Because." Ashley laughed. "She wanted to impress you! Don't you see TJ? Spinelli has a crush on you!"
She practically yelled the last few words. Silence reigned. And then the laughter suddenly erupted. TJ stared at Spinelli in shock.
"Is this true?" he asked.
Mutely Spinelli nodded her head. She couldn't stand to be there a second longer. She ran out of the classroom, not hearing the calls to come back. Spinelli ran down the hallways, and outdoors. She didn't stop running until she reached the elementary school. She collapsed on one of the swings. ~Stupid Ashley A.~
Spinelli couldn't go back. Not now. Not when he knew what she thought of him. Tears streamed down her face, but she refused to wipe them away. ~Let them be a reminder of my pain~ she thought.
"Spinelli?" the voice sounded incredulous. She ignored it, but she heard footsteps coming towards her.
"Go away!" she said harshly. But she could still feel the other person's presence.
"I said GO AWAY!" she shouted.
"Not until you tell me what's wrong." Spinelli whirled around to face Vince.
"What're you doing here?" she asked, momentarily distracted from her misery.
"I was walking to school, and I pass by the elementary school. I heard someone sobbing and came to investigate. That's when I saw you. You. The girl who prides herself on NEVER crying, in tears."
"So what's it to ya if 'm crying?" Spinelli asked angrily.
"Well there's obviously a reason" Vince said.
"And it ain't your business, so move on!" Spinelli began swinging violently, and for the next few minutes, the only sound heard was the creaking of the chains on the swing.
"Come on Spinelli. What's the big deal that you can't tell me why you're so upset?"
He heard the swing come to a halt.
"You wouldn't understand." She said finally.
"Try me."
"I'm crying because. Ashley A made a big fool of me in front of the entire class!"
"And that's something to cry over? And you of all people?" Vince looked at her in astonishment.
"You don't understand! She humiliated me in front of my crush!" she clamped a hand to mouth, realizing what she'd just said.
"Whoa, whoa, back up. Since when does Spinelli like someone?" Vince asked.
"Since grade 7" she said.
"And you never told anyone about it?" he sat down in the swing next to her, it's chains rattling.
"Not until today."
"And who is it?"
"Take a wild guess."
Vince thought for a moment, but drew a complete blank. The only person he thought of couldn't possibly be the one.
"The only person I can think of is TJ, but that's probably wrong." He said, but he was shocked by the look on her face.
"Yes. It is TJ."
"No Way!" ~Boy! Talk about totally off-the-wall..~ he thought.
"Yeah. Sad ain't it? Of course I tried to deny it, but you can only hold off love for so long." Spinelli said.
"I agree with you there."
"So you like someone too?" Spinelli's tears had long since dried, and she was feeling better.
"Kind of. but I doubt she likes me, so I'm probably going to totally forget it."
"Who is it?" Vince sighed.
"I can't tell you. You'll just tell her."
"And how do you know that?" Spinelli looked indignant.
"Because you tell your best friend everything."
Spinelli looked confused for a moment, and then realization hit.
"You like Gretchen?" she asked, astonished.
"Keep it quiet." He warned.
"This is great!" she had a huge grin on her face. ~I can set my friends up! At least they'll be happy~
"What's great?" Vince asked.
"Ya know what?.. I think you should go for it. Ask Gretchen out! What have you got to lose?"
"My dignity." He replied.
"Don't be so hard on yourself." Spinelli punched his arm.
"Well I don't know."
"Aw come on! If you can stand up against guys twice the size of you in a football scrimmage, then you can ask Gretchen Grundler out."
"Yeah! I can!" Vince stood up.
"Thanks Spinelli. I owe ya one."
She stood up too, and grinned at him.
"What are you waiting for? The leaves to turn green? Gretchen awaits."
Spinelli bade him a goodbye, and wandered around the neighborhood. She couldn't go back to school. Not yet. ~It's not like anyone will miss me~ She thought. Little did she know how wrong she was.
* * * *
TJ sat through his classes, barely registering anything the teachers were saying. All he could think about was the events of the morning. He had had no idea whatsoever that Spinelli had a crush on him, until Ashley told him, and then she'd admitted it to him, so she wasn't lying. Truth be told, before he knew, he, himself was confused on his own feelings for Spinelli.
TJ liked her as a friend of course, but as of late he was beginning to realize that he was starting to cross the threshold between 'friends' and 'more than friends'. It scared him. That was why he had backed off. He tried to find girls to distract him, but it wasn't working. Until he saw Ashley A walk by in that tight dress. One glance at her, seemed to push all thoughts of Spinelli away. But they would creep up late at night when he was trying to sleep, making him feel guilty.
TJ buried his face in his hands. Lucky for him, he sat in the back, so most of his antics went unnoticed. Good thing for him too, or he'd be in detention every day. As it was, he was in detention quite a bit. As the day went on, and as TJ thought more about it, his answer was becoming clearer. By the time the final bell rang, and he hadn't seen her all day, TJ knew he had to go find her, and talk to her.
He had to tell her that he returned her feelings for him.
* * * *
Spinelli had wandered into a place she'd only been in a few times. ~I have to be careful not to get lost~. She checked her watch, and saw that it was 3:30. ~Wow. I didn't realize it was so late~ She was pretty far from home, and would have to start walking back to get home before dinner.
As she walked down the deserted street, a wave of loneliness washed over her. ~If misery loves company.. why am I the only one miserable?~ she thought. Tears pricked the back of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes shut, and hear the squealing of tires, as they pulled up to the curb.
"Spinelli?" she heard the one voice that had refused to leave her head ever since she'd heard it this morning. ~And I didn't think life could get any worse.~ she opened her eyes, and saw TJ looking at her, straddling his motorcycle.
"Why aren't you off making out with Ashley? Come to rub it in that I'm a pathetic little girl?" she spat at him. TJ looked hurt.
"No, I came to find you, because I was worried."
"Well I'm here, so don't bother worrying." She started walking away.
"Spinelli wait!" she slowed her pace. "Just leave me alone!" she shouted over her shoulder. ~Why is he bothering me anyway?~ She could feel the wetness behind her eyes.
"Do you want a ride?" she heard him ask. She stopped dead in her tracks. She turned to face him. He was holding out a helmet towards her.
"But what about Ashley?" she was trying not to sound hopeful.
"What about her? I'm asking you if you want a ride or not"
Spinelli couldn't believe it.
"Yes!"
She grabbed the helmet, and carefully strapped it on. It fit perfectly.
"Hop on!" TJ said, holding the bike steady.
~This is a dream. It must be a dream.~ and yet it felt too real to be a dream. She settled herself on the bike, thanking her lucky stars that her skirt wasn't riding halfway up her butt. TJ got on, and started the engine.
"Now hold on tight." He said.
~This is so not happening!~ Spinelli thought, as she gingerly wrapped her arms around him, feeling every muscle in his defined torso. ~I swear I'm in heaven.~.
They rode along the road, Spinelli feeling so blissful and happy, she was nearly weeping tears of joy. All too soon, TJ parked in front of her house.
"Well I guess I'll see you." she said, reluctantly getting off the bike.
"Thanks for the ride."
She was surprised to see him dismount as well. She looked at him, confused.
"We need to talk." He said.
Spinelli gulped, as they walked up the front steps, and settled on the front porch. ~I knew it couldn't last.~ She braced herself.
"Listen Spinelli. about today." he looked uncomfortable.
She sighed.
"It really shouldn't have happened. I know. It's not my fault Ashley is an evil conniving little creep who likes to tell lies-"
"No you don't understand!" TJ said, cutting off her rant.
Spinelli fell silent.
"I mean. what you don't understand. Is that I've been doing a lot of thinking since this morning, and it's made me come to a conclusion of sorts."
"..that you're in love with Ashley A?" Spinelli asked, already mentally trying to think of a way to console a broken heart.
He looked at her in amazement.
"Do you really believe that?" he asked.
"Ever since this morning, I don't know WHAT to believe any more" she said glumly.
He gulped.
"Well, believe this."
He gently pressed his lips to hers, and Spnielli stopped breathing. It was the most amazing, perfect moment she had ever experienced in her entire life. TJ's kiss was so gentle, it was almost heart-aching.
"What was that for?" she asked, when she got her breath back.
"Don't you get it Spinelli?" he asked, he leaned close to her, and she could feel his hot, sweet breath on her face It made her knees quiver, and her heartbeat go crazy.
"Get what?" she whispered.
"I like you too."
She gasped at his admission, and stared at him bewildered, amazed, and shocked all at once.
"A-are you s-serious?" she choked out.
"Yes I am." He grinned at her, making her heart soar above the clouds.
In a bold move, she wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him.
"Thanks" she said, when she released him. "You're one amazing girl. You know that Spinelli?" he said, getting up. She stood up, and he wrapped his arms around her waist. She could feel the warmth, and lapped it up.
"I do now" she replied.
He bade her a goodbye, but not before giving her one final kiss.
"See you tomorrow." He said, hopping onto his bike.
"See you" she breathed.
When the bike was out of sight, Spinelli let out a shriek of pure joy.
Yup. Life was perfect.
~Ooh, I got a crush on you I hope you feel the way that i do I get a rush When I'm with you Ooh, I've got a crush on you A crush on you~
~*Fin*~
Well folks, there ya have it. My first recess fic! (and actually, my first song fic too!) Please review. Don't care if it's bad or good, I appreciate all comments. But ya, I had fun writing it, and I hope ya had fun reading it. Until next time! Ja ne! ~_^ Bandana Gurl.