Believe
By kimetara
7th In-game POV
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy X. This disclaimer will go for all upcoming chapters.
He saw her, with the eternal night sky of Zanarkand a draping background, and the cold moon illuminating her face. This was Lulu in her element – she was not made for tropical islands, or arrogant cities, but pure, beautiful light, in a city of pale ruin.
She could become a fayth, and rival Yunalesca herself.
We are on the airship.
So many things have happened in the past three days. We crossed Mt. Gagazet. We entered Zanarkand. And we fought, and defeated, Lady Yunalesca.
It's a huge change. My entire life...has been ripped from the roots. My hope for so long, was a lie.
And I don't care at all.
Maybe because we've grown up having our lives torn from us, we've become used to bouncing back. Destruction is the driving force of Spira, after all.
Or maybe, since this is a lie...always been a lie...I feel justified in letting Yuna refuse to take the Final Aeon. Tidus had convinced me long before to try fighting without it, but there was always a bit of guilt from going against the teachings. Now...the teachings are false, so why follow them?
Either way, right now I'm more concerned with resting from the battle with Yunalesca. It's a very unpleasant feeling, becoming an undead. A zombie, in common terms.
I pass out of the bridge and into the corridor, only to see Sir Auron leaning on the wall outside the doorway.
"Hello."
He acknowledges me with a nod, but doesn't reply.
"How are you feeling, Sir Auron?" I ask politely. "It must be difficult, reliving such a traumatic moment in your past." I know I'm treading on thin ice now, but frankly, I've learned the best way to get through to Sir Auron quickly is to be blunt.
"Is there something you want?" he asks harshly. Well, that was to be expected.
I give him a long, considering look. I'm certain he's upset over revisiting Zanarkand, no matter how well he tries to hide it. I know, since I've hidden such pain myself, many times. And those memories...
What can I say? There is no consolation for death.
"You didn't fail." Where did that come from? The words came and left my mouth smoothly, without my clearance or consideration. Unsettling.
But he's looking at me now, lifting an eyebrow, waiting for me to explain myself.
"You succeeded in protecting High Summoner Braska to defeat Sin. That is a guardian's duty," I finish quietly.
Surprisingly, he laughs. It's a bitter sound, once that causes me to nearly flinch.
"Yes, I succeeded in being a guardian," he agrees. "I succeeded in turning them both up for human sacrifices." The last words are growled angrily, and I can see his fist tighten on the hilt of his Kotetsu.
"There was nothing else you could do," I protest forcefully.
"How do you know that?" He straightens and stands before me in one smooth movement, staring down at me from his one good eye. "I never tried, beyond weak words. Words that held only emotion," he nearly spits the words out, contempt dripping off his tone. I blink in shock when I feel his left hand gripping my upper right arm tightly, painfully. "If I hadn't let my emotions get in the way, I could have convinced them to listen, to wait. Instead, I let Braska go to his death for a lie, and Jecht..." He shakes his head, visibly regaining control over himself, his grip on my arm loosening. "I knew, more than either of them, that something was off. I had been a warrior monk, after all," he finishes quietly. "I should have done what Tidus did today."
Tidus. The outsider, with his foreign views, had saved Yuna. At a loss for words, I move my arm slightly, and he looks down at his hand as if surprised it had emerged from his coat.
"My apologies." He withdraws his arm back into its customary resting place. I simply stare, bewildered by what had just happened, but my mind is working swiftly.
"There's nothing to apologize for," I say finally. "And I would have done the same, in your position. Less, actually." I fold my arms as I allow my eyes to gaze at some point in the distance. "At least you had the foresight, and loyalty, to protest against Lord Braska's summoning. I would have blindly offered myself to become the fayth." As I did with Yuna. Self-disgust taints my expression, as I recall how close I had become to giving myself, and a person I loved dearly, up for a false hope. For a lie.
"...Yevon weaves a thick fog," is his response. I shake my head.
"Don't be a fool," I reply, harsher than I usually would be. "By that time, we all knew Yevon was corrupt. But we were too reluctant to give up our hope and see the facts. For myself to cling to such falsehoods is inexcusable."
"For yourself?" He's gazing at me, an intent expression on his face. "Why only for you?"
I lift my chin slightly, meeting his gaze. "It is my responsibility to be observant and clear-seeing. That is part of my place as Yuna's guardian."
"I don't recall such a thing as part of guardian obligations," he contradicts gently.
"An obligation as one who loves her, then."
"I see." His eyes dart away, then return to mine. "I did not mean to aim my words at you."
"All the same, they were true for both of us." Yes. Auron's accusations at himself had hurt me, because they were true for me as well. I would have given her up as a human sacrifice, because that was how it was always done. A thousand-year old tradition. From this new point of view – provided by Tidus, Rikku, and Auron, strengthened by Lady Yunalesca and Yevon's betrayal – I was appalled with how easily I had swallowed such obvious lies.
Silence fills the corridor. I abruptly become aware of how close we are standing next to each other, and look away to the floor. He must have seen the realization on my face, or else noticed himself, because he moves away and returns to leaning against the corridor wall.
I break the silence a few moments later. "However..." I begin, "we are all human, and mistakes are made. It does no good to linger and allow wrath and guilt to consume us." I straighten and look directly at Auron, who is watching some point on the floor. "I will forgive myself for my mistake. I would do the same for you, Auron," I pause, watching his reaction, "except that there is nothing to forgive."
He doesn't acknowledge a word I've said, but I know he has heard me. I leave the corridor and head to my room.
Halfway there, I wonder – why had I spoken to Auron at all?
I drop on my bed, passing a hand over my eyes, suddenly feeling very tired.
He had been on my mind often recently, and I've caught myself trying to stand closer to him. I've found myself watching him, watching him battle, watching him converse with the others. More than once, our gazes had met, and so I knew – know – he has been watching me as well.
But he's been watching me since the Thunder Plains, when I asked him about his aversion to the Farplane, so that was irrelevant.
The Farplane. How long has it been since I asked him about that? Not since Bevelle's Cloister of Trials. As time passed, the matter became less and less concern to me, and I've found myself talking to him for the simple pleasure of talking to him.
...I guess I was really and truly over Chappu. Seeing him in the Farplane had put my demons to rest.
So, Auron.
There is a large risk. For one, none of us may survive this venture. For another, he may not even be interested. My heart has healed just recently, I'm not sure how much of a battering it can take.
Then again, I don't have much choice, do I?
I know I'm playing with fire, but that's all right. I have ice in my veins.
Now, to defeat Sin...
"Lulu!" I rise up on my bed to see Rikku run into my room, Wakka slightly behind her. "I got an idea!"
An idea on how to defeat Sin? I sit up fully. "What is it?"
"It's-" Wakka steps forward, but Rikku pushes him back.
"It's my idea! See-" Wakka pulls her back now. It's good that they're back on friendly terms; Rikku had forgiven Wakka during a battle – "No problem, guys!" "Hah, that's just what I was thinking!" – but I prefer to find out what is going on before Sin crushes us.
"Rikku. Explain," I order sharply after another unsuccessful five tries.
"Aww..." Wakka grumbles. Rikku grins and jumps in the air.
"See Lulu, in the Lake Macalania Sin came, right? And there wasn't any Sinspawn, so something else must have attracted it, right?" she asks eagerly. I nod.
"Go on."
"Well, the only other thing there was the Hymn of the Fayth!" Rikku concludes triumphantly.
"The Hymn of the Fayth?" I repeat, considering.
"Yeah! I don't know exactly how it works, I mean, Sin listening to the Hymn of the Fayth, but..." she trails off.
"It would work, because Sir Jecht liked listening to the hymn," I conclude. "Sin is also calmer while listening to the hymn, which would make it easier to attack. Brilliant. You're very sharp, Rikku." She grins embarrassedly.
"Then you think it would work?" Rikku looks at me earnestly. I nod decisively.
"Yes."
~~~~~
So, Maester Mika has claimed Yuna being a traitor the result of a rumor from the "evil" Al Bhed, much to the indignation of all of us, especially Rikku. Still, that didn't stop her from making a request of Shelinda. She is indeed a sharp girl, quick-thinking and capable of seeing many opportunities. She is a worthy guardian.
I wonder...
"There's something I want to say before the fight." Wakka's voice cuts into my thoughts. He's talking to Cid, and I listen closer. "I guess I didn't know anything about the Al Bhed. Didn't know anything. Didn't want to listen to anything. I was a big jerk." I inwardly smile at his straightforward confession.
"So, I... Well, uh..." he turns to face Cid, "I'm sorry, ya? Please forgive me," he pleads earnestly.
Cid accepts, and when Wakka looks up at me I nod approvingly. Very nicely done. True, Chappu would have had a bit more style, but for this sort of thing, and with Cid, perhaps Wakka's blunt and honest way was best.
"Awww, now I'm all warm and fuzzy inside," Rikku teases. It's good for them to be getting along again.
"It was well done," I tell Wakka quietly as he walks past me. He grins. "Of course," I continue, "you shouldn't have acted so childish in the first place, but," I smile, "it was well done."
"Eh...thanks Lu." He makes a quick motion with his hand. "Well, let's go get Sin, ya?"
"Not yet." Everybody turns at hearing Auron's voice.
"Not more training!" Tidus exclaims. Auron merely looks at him.
"Awww..." Tidus, Rikku, and Wakka groan in unison. Yuna giggles and I shake my head at the three of them.
"If we are going to train, then we'll need to do so quickly, before Sin causes any more damage," I advise.
"Yes...but as long as we're not going straight to Sin, I would like to revisit the Temples of Fayth," Yuna informs us all quietly.
"Why don't we just...revisit Spira altogether?" Tidus suggests. "Like a recap of the pilgrimage. That way, we could see the temples and train."
"Yeah!" Rikku nods empathetically. "I wanna see where you guys have been without me!"
"Well, it's not a problem with me. It'd be good to see Besaid again, ya?" Wakka grins at Tidus.
"So it's settled!" Tidus declares. "We start at Besaid Island!"