When The Light Comes But Theres Only Darkness ch 13
Connor ran til his legs fell from beneath him, the rising sun burning his sore eyes. He huffed and puffed and cried. He tried to throw up and spit. Tried to get it out but it just wouldn't go. So he lay on his side. The birds were chirping in the trees there was life here. God did he resent it, there should have been no life, no light only darkness. He closed his eyes in exhaustion maybe this was just another awful dream, maybe he would wake up screaming in his bed and Angel would come and care for him. Or better still Faith would be lying next to him, peaceful, beautiful. She resembled all the things that were right with the world, he would sit and drown in her scent alone, her scent lingered even when she wasn't there. He breathed harshly trying to get air: br "Dad?" It came out like a cautious whisper, a desperate wish. Somewhere in Connor still lay the hopes and dreams of a very young child, no matter how bad things got. There was always light, even if you didn't want the light to find you it would. The wood started to get darker, but only to him as he began to fall unconscious.
(Are you okay?) Is...is it you?...Doing these things to me? (No, you really don't remember do you?) I...I don't know what your talking about (I am sorry, you're safe no more, but then you never were fully safe.just) Listen Mr, I don't know what's goin' on here, but please just leave me alone for a while (As you wish)
Faith starred at the ceiling, her side hurt. She reached over and pressed play on her stereo hoping to find a rock song, but only the tape worked and Dawn had left in. The room span around as she lay on her side and in her guilt fell asleep thinking of Connor.
(The Music, I Love The Way You Love Me- By Boyzone indicated by ****)
"Oh Connor," it was the dream sequence again she couldn't see him though. She just sighed his name.
***I like the feel of your name on my lips And I like the sound of your sweet gentle kiss****
Connor fell into dreams of Faith and went back to the past as much as he could he was with her again. In Buffy's living room, trying to stop her from feeling him up and down, stroking his hair in a way that brought a peace to his life that he'd never known.
***The way that your fingers run through my hair And how your scent lingers even when you're not there*****
He could always smell her for days after she left, traces of perfection lying in his sheets. The way she always laughed at him, he hated being laughed at, but she. It was different when she laughed at him. Even when she hit him. He would love her to laugh at him now, to hear that lilt in her voice that shine in her eyes.
***And I like the way your eyes dance when you laugh And how you enjoy your two-hour bath***
Connor was crazy beyond belief Faith thought. Even before all this. But in a good way. He was free and open the entire world was new to him so when he would let go he loved it and learned like a child. And when she was lucky, he'd take her along for the ride. She sighed inwardly.
***And how you've convinced me to dance in the rain With everyone watching like we were insane***
She laughed. She loved the way he was. How he minded her space. Played like a child. Looked after her without being her champion, there was something different and honest about Connor. The way he held her, the way he pouted and sulked into her arms when she laughed at him.
***But I love the way you love me Strong and wild, slow and easy Heart and soul so completely I love the way you love me****
Connor thought of her. The stupid old songs they listened to together when it was late one blanket between the two of them. The secrets that they shared.
***And I like the sound of old R 'n' B And you roll your eyes when I'm sloppily off key And I like the innocent way that you cry At sappy old movies you've seen thousands of times***
Faith lay on her side in her dream world where she could see nothing. Alone for the first time in so long. She felt so bad. Connor relived the days gone by, remembered racing her down the stairs, fighting in park, chasing her in the woods. He wondered were the music came from, and lost himself in his bittersweet consolation. She lay and imagined she was lying by his side again. That he was at his silly clueless attempts to be in charge or have a say. That he was just holding her silently.
***Listen to me now And I could list a million things I love to like about you But they could all come down to one reason I could never live without you..***
Faith jumped up awake and switched off the tape: "What a bunch of crap!" She got up and put some clothes on.
Connor opened his eyes once again, but this time it was dark out. Darkness suited him fine: "It's over", he whispered. He didn't want it to be. But there are some things you can't come back from. Besides he couldn't face her. He would never let himself look upon his face ever again.
Connor ran til his legs fell from beneath him, the rising sun burning his sore eyes. He huffed and puffed and cried. He tried to throw up and spit. Tried to get it out but it just wouldn't go. So he lay on his side. The birds were chirping in the trees there was life here. God did he resent it, there should have been no life, no light only darkness. He closed his eyes in exhaustion maybe this was just another awful dream, maybe he would wake up screaming in his bed and Angel would come and care for him. Or better still Faith would be lying next to him, peaceful, beautiful. She resembled all the things that were right with the world, he would sit and drown in her scent alone, her scent lingered even when she wasn't there. He breathed harshly trying to get air: br "Dad?" It came out like a cautious whisper, a desperate wish. Somewhere in Connor still lay the hopes and dreams of a very young child, no matter how bad things got. There was always light, even if you didn't want the light to find you it would. The wood started to get darker, but only to him as he began to fall unconscious.
(Are you okay?) Is...is it you?...Doing these things to me? (No, you really don't remember do you?) I...I don't know what your talking about (I am sorry, you're safe no more, but then you never were fully safe.just) Listen Mr, I don't know what's goin' on here, but please just leave me alone for a while (As you wish)
Faith starred at the ceiling, her side hurt. She reached over and pressed play on her stereo hoping to find a rock song, but only the tape worked and Dawn had left in. The room span around as she lay on her side and in her guilt fell asleep thinking of Connor.
(The Music, I Love The Way You Love Me- By Boyzone indicated by ****)
"Oh Connor," it was the dream sequence again she couldn't see him though. She just sighed his name.
***I like the feel of your name on my lips And I like the sound of your sweet gentle kiss****
Connor fell into dreams of Faith and went back to the past as much as he could he was with her again. In Buffy's living room, trying to stop her from feeling him up and down, stroking his hair in a way that brought a peace to his life that he'd never known.
***The way that your fingers run through my hair And how your scent lingers even when you're not there*****
He could always smell her for days after she left, traces of perfection lying in his sheets. The way she always laughed at him, he hated being laughed at, but she. It was different when she laughed at him. Even when she hit him. He would love her to laugh at him now, to hear that lilt in her voice that shine in her eyes.
***And I like the way your eyes dance when you laugh And how you enjoy your two-hour bath***
Connor was crazy beyond belief Faith thought. Even before all this. But in a good way. He was free and open the entire world was new to him so when he would let go he loved it and learned like a child. And when she was lucky, he'd take her along for the ride. She sighed inwardly.
***And how you've convinced me to dance in the rain With everyone watching like we were insane***
She laughed. She loved the way he was. How he minded her space. Played like a child. Looked after her without being her champion, there was something different and honest about Connor. The way he held her, the way he pouted and sulked into her arms when she laughed at him.
***But I love the way you love me Strong and wild, slow and easy Heart and soul so completely I love the way you love me****
Connor thought of her. The stupid old songs they listened to together when it was late one blanket between the two of them. The secrets that they shared.
***And I like the sound of old R 'n' B And you roll your eyes when I'm sloppily off key And I like the innocent way that you cry At sappy old movies you've seen thousands of times***
Faith lay on her side in her dream world where she could see nothing. Alone for the first time in so long. She felt so bad. Connor relived the days gone by, remembered racing her down the stairs, fighting in park, chasing her in the woods. He wondered were the music came from, and lost himself in his bittersweet consolation. She lay and imagined she was lying by his side again. That he was at his silly clueless attempts to be in charge or have a say. That he was just holding her silently.
***Listen to me now And I could list a million things I love to like about you But they could all come down to one reason I could never live without you..***
Faith jumped up awake and switched off the tape: "What a bunch of crap!" She got up and put some clothes on.
Connor opened his eyes once again, but this time it was dark out. Darkness suited him fine: "It's over", he whispered. He didn't want it to be. But there are some things you can't come back from. Besides he couldn't face her. He would never let himself look upon his face ever again.