I Don't Wanna Want You ch17
Connor was being surveyed by Spike who seemed overly concerned...all Connor could do was feel uncomfortable sitting in Xander's place seeing Spike's burnt face looking him over with concern.
(That must have hurt...your pride I mean..but...do not think that it is over..its never over for you boy...never can you think that) I didn't think that...and...and why not? Who are you? Do you know things? Am I evil? (I have told you before-) Oh no this crap again, am I or aren't I? (Cub calm down) What did you just call me? (What?...nothing) You called me cub! I- (I must go)
Connor looked at Spike, his eyes glazed over...Faith just watched. He always managed to piss her off, he was whiney and emotional and....she looked up: "Called your Dad...he's comin' to pick you up, Junior." "Oh......good." Connor looked down as Faith looked out of the window, the window-ledge was usually his place. But he wasn't like himself anyway. He had no idea who he was, never did. The closet he'd ever came to knowing who he was only happened when Angel and Faith were around both loving him. They had made his heart feel warm, and now...it didn't feel warm. Didn't exactly feel cold either, it was just tired. So tired. Like it had been hurting intensely for a hundred years and now it was trying to breath again. To beat again, but it hurt. Too tired. To beat. To breathe. To be.
Faith looked out at the people moving on the streets, they had such purpose. Such direction, each one with their own lives, their own story. Their own confusion and upset and they were alone, everyone was alone from the day the were born to the day they died. No one can ever be with you constantly or be completely on your side. It was just the way things were. The realisation was calm and cool almost a relief, Connor was halfway across the room. She didn't want to feel like she needed him. She'd been so happy when he first showed up, she didn't particularly like Sunnydale or the way it made her feel. But he...she was so sure...she smiled as she thought of it.....He would stand in that cocky little way he did and be full of confidence and focus, he'd be defensive and honest and smile and he'd love her and everything would be....
Faith scratched her tattoo, another damn reminder of him. Of his treachery, of his love. It always itched, but had done a lot more lately, she wondered if it was infected as she looked down. Her eyes met Connor's, his pretty blue eyes had stolen a glance and been caught, he looked down in shame as she sighed. He seemed so helpless so hurt. She was, too.
It hurt, but she had bigger things on her mind and... why the hell was Dawn looking at Connor? And moving over to him?
Connor looked up as Dawn stroked his face, she'd forgiven him. He could see it, he almost smiled back when she looked at him with such loving forgiveness. Spike looked on, Dawn was definitely something else. But maybe she got it, Connor was honestly more upset about hurting them than any of them were. Connor felt something at his side like lasers...he could feel them moving Faith's eyes...and then they were gone. Was she jealous? There was no need to be he only loved her....or at least he had.only. loved. her.
Faith looked at her feet and told herself she didn't love him anyway. And besides, he was too cocky, and too jumpy and horny and. She sighed and closed her eyes, as she heard Angel's car pulling up, just in time.
Connor was being surveyed by Spike who seemed overly concerned...all Connor could do was feel uncomfortable sitting in Xander's place seeing Spike's burnt face looking him over with concern.
(That must have hurt...your pride I mean..but...do not think that it is over..its never over for you boy...never can you think that) I didn't think that...and...and why not? Who are you? Do you know things? Am I evil? (I have told you before-) Oh no this crap again, am I or aren't I? (Cub calm down) What did you just call me? (What?...nothing) You called me cub! I- (I must go)
Connor looked at Spike, his eyes glazed over...Faith just watched. He always managed to piss her off, he was whiney and emotional and....she looked up: "Called your Dad...he's comin' to pick you up, Junior." "Oh......good." Connor looked down as Faith looked out of the window, the window-ledge was usually his place. But he wasn't like himself anyway. He had no idea who he was, never did. The closet he'd ever came to knowing who he was only happened when Angel and Faith were around both loving him. They had made his heart feel warm, and now...it didn't feel warm. Didn't exactly feel cold either, it was just tired. So tired. Like it had been hurting intensely for a hundred years and now it was trying to breath again. To beat again, but it hurt. Too tired. To beat. To breathe. To be.
Faith looked out at the people moving on the streets, they had such purpose. Such direction, each one with their own lives, their own story. Their own confusion and upset and they were alone, everyone was alone from the day the were born to the day they died. No one can ever be with you constantly or be completely on your side. It was just the way things were. The realisation was calm and cool almost a relief, Connor was halfway across the room. She didn't want to feel like she needed him. She'd been so happy when he first showed up, she didn't particularly like Sunnydale or the way it made her feel. But he...she was so sure...she smiled as she thought of it.....He would stand in that cocky little way he did and be full of confidence and focus, he'd be defensive and honest and smile and he'd love her and everything would be....
Faith scratched her tattoo, another damn reminder of him. Of his treachery, of his love. It always itched, but had done a lot more lately, she wondered if it was infected as she looked down. Her eyes met Connor's, his pretty blue eyes had stolen a glance and been caught, he looked down in shame as she sighed. He seemed so helpless so hurt. She was, too.
It hurt, but she had bigger things on her mind and... why the hell was Dawn looking at Connor? And moving over to him?
Connor looked up as Dawn stroked his face, she'd forgiven him. He could see it, he almost smiled back when she looked at him with such loving forgiveness. Spike looked on, Dawn was definitely something else. But maybe she got it, Connor was honestly more upset about hurting them than any of them were. Connor felt something at his side like lasers...he could feel them moving Faith's eyes...and then they were gone. Was she jealous? There was no need to be he only loved her....or at least he had.only. loved. her.
Faith looked at her feet and told herself she didn't love him anyway. And besides, he was too cocky, and too jumpy and horny and. She sighed and closed her eyes, as she heard Angel's car pulling up, just in time.