A Little Deeper ch 21
Ever cried yourself to sleep? And I don't mean cried in your bed then fell asleep on your cold tear soaked pillow, even though thats awful. I mean having your body shiver from every ache of your every sob. Eyes shut, body under the covers. Occasionally lashing out fiercely at the world around you? Your head throbbing from cutting pain hitting your brow like lightening. Like there's no worse place to be than in your own skin. You can't stop crying, you can't even really think about stopping because the sobs consume your being? It's like you're too tired to fall asleep, eyes burning up. But you fall slowly at first. Like your sinking and then you fall unconscious like someone hit you on the back of your head with a revolver?
.....Well Connor did. And let me tell you, something like that produces headache galorie. You feel drained. You feel tired. He could barely stand as he practically fell into the shower. Touching the cold smooth tiles, trying to find his equilibrium. He was to be found soon, or checked up on. So he had to find his facade, his brave face and soon. He'd been in positions like this before, and when he did it was always like.like he'd come back from the dead. Rose from his own ashes. But this time it was harder and he didn't want to, he wanted to dwell. Knowing he couldn't. Eyeing the bite marks on his body with a feeling of dread and disgust, flinching as the water hit them.
Buffy flicked through the pages of the fashion magazine half of the stuff in there was stylish but not affordable. She yawned. Connor hadn't made a peep, which was cool with her. If he like...tried to leave she'd kick his ass...she was almost sure she kick his ass... "Hey B," Faith said walking past Buffy to Connor's room. Buffy looked up from her thoughts to acknowledge Faith: "Oh Hi Faith!" she smiled and looked back down, they jumped up: "Wait you can't go in there!" Buffy yelled following Faith.
Great, Faith thought here goes...hmm you know what skip it. Faith thought as she blindsided Buffy knocking her out. She opened the door to Connor's room slowly: "Knock knock...come out, wherever you are, don't give a damn if your decent," she called smirking a little at the last part.
(Can you hear her calling?) Oh yeah (You gonna go out?) ...No (Move it!)
Connor found his feet and a towel and went to face Faith. The raven-haired temptress, the rogue slayer, the sex kitten, the embodiment of everything that was amazing in a woman...god he hated her. Already he'd lost the feeling in his legs from the sound of her voice. He left the bathroom and stood before her dripping nothing, but a blue towel draped over his hips. "What?" he said. Waiting for the speech. "Don't give me that attitude," she said angrily, then waited he made no reply a good sign. So she sat on the girlie sheets one knee up held against her chest and started: "We need to talk." "Or not." "Or yeah." "Faith I don't wanna-" "I don't care about what you want!" she yelled, instilling an awkward silence. "No shit," Connor sighed. Sitting beside her on the bed back to back. Looking up and sighing. They just sat there like that, twenty minutes in silence. Almost a comfortable silence, though it made no sense.
Connor decided to break the silence the feel of her body heat against his wet skin finally truley hitting him as he seemed to wake from a trance. He pulled back: "So what now?" he asked earnestly, still not facing her. "Well that's one hell of a question, one I can't answer." Faith sighed, her fingers running on the beautifully made sheets. She fell back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Hadn't she meant to say something to him? Connor just looked on, at her body thrown across his temporary bed, his fist marks still on her body. Suddenly it became so hard to breathe: "Faith!...Please get out!" he pleaded. She looked up at him and rolled her eyes: "Yeah! Right!" "Yeah! Right!" he said pulling her up. "You have no idea how hard this is for me-" "Hard for you?! Connor your the one that freaked out and attacked everyone, your the one that said all those nasty things to me. Your fast food for a bat faced vamp for God's sake!" she yelled yanking her wrist from his grasp.
"Yeah! Thanks for listing it all, you still have no idea about what I'm going through it feels like! It FEELS LIKE!-" "LIKE WHAT CONNOR?!" Connor sighed and stared down choking on his words as his tears slowly betrayed him again: "Like I'm dying." Faith looked at Connor the tears rolling down his cheeks and started to cry herself as she wrapped her arms around him and met his face with hers. A calm steady expression and softly said: "You're not gonna die Connor, I'm sorry. And I know you are...but...but...sorry doesn't make it go away.you know?" "I still love you," Connor got out. "Yeah, I still love you, you know? Kinda never stopped. I was just angry, and now I'm-" "Your what?" "Tired Connor, so tired." "I wish I could make it go away for you," he said slowly. "You can," she answered, leaning in to kiss him.
For a moment nothing else mattered. They were finally together. Warm lips against warm lips, holy lovers kiss. Opening their mouths, drinking each other's sweet essence. Their bodies pressed, nothing but the sweet silence and the kiss.
Ever cried yourself to sleep? And I don't mean cried in your bed then fell asleep on your cold tear soaked pillow, even though thats awful. I mean having your body shiver from every ache of your every sob. Eyes shut, body under the covers. Occasionally lashing out fiercely at the world around you? Your head throbbing from cutting pain hitting your brow like lightening. Like there's no worse place to be than in your own skin. You can't stop crying, you can't even really think about stopping because the sobs consume your being? It's like you're too tired to fall asleep, eyes burning up. But you fall slowly at first. Like your sinking and then you fall unconscious like someone hit you on the back of your head with a revolver?
.....Well Connor did. And let me tell you, something like that produces headache galorie. You feel drained. You feel tired. He could barely stand as he practically fell into the shower. Touching the cold smooth tiles, trying to find his equilibrium. He was to be found soon, or checked up on. So he had to find his facade, his brave face and soon. He'd been in positions like this before, and when he did it was always like.like he'd come back from the dead. Rose from his own ashes. But this time it was harder and he didn't want to, he wanted to dwell. Knowing he couldn't. Eyeing the bite marks on his body with a feeling of dread and disgust, flinching as the water hit them.
Buffy flicked through the pages of the fashion magazine half of the stuff in there was stylish but not affordable. She yawned. Connor hadn't made a peep, which was cool with her. If he like...tried to leave she'd kick his ass...she was almost sure she kick his ass... "Hey B," Faith said walking past Buffy to Connor's room. Buffy looked up from her thoughts to acknowledge Faith: "Oh Hi Faith!" she smiled and looked back down, they jumped up: "Wait you can't go in there!" Buffy yelled following Faith.
Great, Faith thought here goes...hmm you know what skip it. Faith thought as she blindsided Buffy knocking her out. She opened the door to Connor's room slowly: "Knock knock...come out, wherever you are, don't give a damn if your decent," she called smirking a little at the last part.
(Can you hear her calling?) Oh yeah (You gonna go out?) ...No (Move it!)
Connor found his feet and a towel and went to face Faith. The raven-haired temptress, the rogue slayer, the sex kitten, the embodiment of everything that was amazing in a woman...god he hated her. Already he'd lost the feeling in his legs from the sound of her voice. He left the bathroom and stood before her dripping nothing, but a blue towel draped over his hips. "What?" he said. Waiting for the speech. "Don't give me that attitude," she said angrily, then waited he made no reply a good sign. So she sat on the girlie sheets one knee up held against her chest and started: "We need to talk." "Or not." "Or yeah." "Faith I don't wanna-" "I don't care about what you want!" she yelled, instilling an awkward silence. "No shit," Connor sighed. Sitting beside her on the bed back to back. Looking up and sighing. They just sat there like that, twenty minutes in silence. Almost a comfortable silence, though it made no sense.
Connor decided to break the silence the feel of her body heat against his wet skin finally truley hitting him as he seemed to wake from a trance. He pulled back: "So what now?" he asked earnestly, still not facing her. "Well that's one hell of a question, one I can't answer." Faith sighed, her fingers running on the beautifully made sheets. She fell back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Hadn't she meant to say something to him? Connor just looked on, at her body thrown across his temporary bed, his fist marks still on her body. Suddenly it became so hard to breathe: "Faith!...Please get out!" he pleaded. She looked up at him and rolled her eyes: "Yeah! Right!" "Yeah! Right!" he said pulling her up. "You have no idea how hard this is for me-" "Hard for you?! Connor your the one that freaked out and attacked everyone, your the one that said all those nasty things to me. Your fast food for a bat faced vamp for God's sake!" she yelled yanking her wrist from his grasp.
"Yeah! Thanks for listing it all, you still have no idea about what I'm going through it feels like! It FEELS LIKE!-" "LIKE WHAT CONNOR?!" Connor sighed and stared down choking on his words as his tears slowly betrayed him again: "Like I'm dying." Faith looked at Connor the tears rolling down his cheeks and started to cry herself as she wrapped her arms around him and met his face with hers. A calm steady expression and softly said: "You're not gonna die Connor, I'm sorry. And I know you are...but...but...sorry doesn't make it go away.you know?" "I still love you," Connor got out. "Yeah, I still love you, you know? Kinda never stopped. I was just angry, and now I'm-" "Your what?" "Tired Connor, so tired." "I wish I could make it go away for you," he said slowly. "You can," she answered, leaning in to kiss him.
For a moment nothing else mattered. They were finally together. Warm lips against warm lips, holy lovers kiss. Opening their mouths, drinking each other's sweet essence. Their bodies pressed, nothing but the sweet silence and the kiss.