Awake And Alive Ch25
No matter how much it bleeds you always just assume that it'll scab over, it'll heal and the scars will fade. What happens when wounds won't seal. The pain can't stay, not like in the beginning, it just echoes, goes sour. Repetitive. It's too much, no one wants to bleed forever, they just forget how to breathe, how to get the memory to escape them, pain is a release. But if you could make it stop, if you could heal would you risk bringing it all back? Would you bleed again? Would you return to your greatest nightmare? A lover that broke your heart? A place where you feel unsafe in your own skin? Just to heal? Just to seal? Or would you not bleed? Just keep going? Echoing. Not living. But safe.
Angel ran to Connor's room vamped out, Spike two steps behind their legs pumping. The threat was great and they had to get to Connor before whoever or whatever possessed that power did. If he became subject to the red mist again, like before, like Wesley had. You fall, you fall hard and fast. But not before you push everyone you love down on their asses and beat them until they can't beg for mercy.
(Beg for mercy) What? You again (Me again, are you going to beg?) No, I was taught not to because... (Because?) If you beg for mercy...then you don't deserve it, thats what I was taught
(I know, and you will deserve it)
What? I don't understand
The voice in Connor's head left, left him standing there confused. Where had he learnt that lesson? He knew it so well, but he didn't know where from. Holtz hadn't taught him and Angel hadn't...Angel, he would soon be checking in looking for him. But he'd find Faith or just and empty room. Angel and himself...they may never meet again. Connor slowed at the thought, he was surprised by how heavy his heart felt when he thought of that. He wished there was something that he could do for Angel, if he were to die. Something to take the pain away. But he didn't know how. He didn't know many things. Not even who he was. All he knew, all he felt at this moment was the sickness inside the disease of death that had gripped his life from the moment he entered Sunnydale. It had a steel-like grip around his chest. Restricting. Holding. Suffocating. But he was alive he could feel his blood run inside.
The Master entered a dim light in front of Connor: "Hello sonnie...come to give Grand-daddy a kiss?" he lunged at Connor straight towards his throat. But Connor deflected knocking the Master over his left shoulder. He looked up, rows of fangs glistened in the dim light. Sharp golden eyes, watched him. He looked around afraid, anxious as the Master rose slowly, calmly behind him and stated: "Your body, will be mine."
"He's alone!" Faith yelled into Andrews face, pulling back letting the poor guy go. Buffy spaced out in thought. And asked: "But why would he head towards the Master's lair alone?" Andrew stammered: "He's a warrior you know? He's got that silent cool warrior with cool catch phrases going on...he's gotta face his nemesis, he's..." "Dead," Buffy finished for Andrew, already she was mourning him. Somewhere deep down she was still terrified of the Master and terrified of what he could do to everyone around her, that she couldn't protect them. The door slammed open as the top hinge fell off and Angel entered Spike still two steps behind. Angel surveyed the room: "Where's Connor?" he asked, addressing the three dumbfounded people. Faith and Buffy both seemed incapable of responding, everything was falling apart. Was Connor already dead? Would he be vamped? Would they be able to save Dawn? Andrew stuttered his response: "U..,um...we..we...think..,h.,.he went to the...M..Master's lair again," he got out backing into the wall. "What!" yelled Angel.
No matter how much it bleeds you always just assume that it'll scab over, it'll heal and the scars will fade. What happens when wounds won't seal. The pain can't stay, not like in the beginning, it just echoes, goes sour. Repetitive. It's too much, no one wants to bleed forever, they just forget how to breathe, how to get the memory to escape them, pain is a release. But if you could make it stop, if you could heal would you risk bringing it all back? Would you bleed again? Would you return to your greatest nightmare? A lover that broke your heart? A place where you feel unsafe in your own skin? Just to heal? Just to seal? Or would you not bleed? Just keep going? Echoing. Not living. But safe.
Angel ran to Connor's room vamped out, Spike two steps behind their legs pumping. The threat was great and they had to get to Connor before whoever or whatever possessed that power did. If he became subject to the red mist again, like before, like Wesley had. You fall, you fall hard and fast. But not before you push everyone you love down on their asses and beat them until they can't beg for mercy.
(Beg for mercy) What? You again (Me again, are you going to beg?) No, I was taught not to because... (Because?) If you beg for mercy...then you don't deserve it, thats what I was taught
(I know, and you will deserve it)
What? I don't understand
The voice in Connor's head left, left him standing there confused. Where had he learnt that lesson? He knew it so well, but he didn't know where from. Holtz hadn't taught him and Angel hadn't...Angel, he would soon be checking in looking for him. But he'd find Faith or just and empty room. Angel and himself...they may never meet again. Connor slowed at the thought, he was surprised by how heavy his heart felt when he thought of that. He wished there was something that he could do for Angel, if he were to die. Something to take the pain away. But he didn't know how. He didn't know many things. Not even who he was. All he knew, all he felt at this moment was the sickness inside the disease of death that had gripped his life from the moment he entered Sunnydale. It had a steel-like grip around his chest. Restricting. Holding. Suffocating. But he was alive he could feel his blood run inside.
The Master entered a dim light in front of Connor: "Hello sonnie...come to give Grand-daddy a kiss?" he lunged at Connor straight towards his throat. But Connor deflected knocking the Master over his left shoulder. He looked up, rows of fangs glistened in the dim light. Sharp golden eyes, watched him. He looked around afraid, anxious as the Master rose slowly, calmly behind him and stated: "Your body, will be mine."
"He's alone!" Faith yelled into Andrews face, pulling back letting the poor guy go. Buffy spaced out in thought. And asked: "But why would he head towards the Master's lair alone?" Andrew stammered: "He's a warrior you know? He's got that silent cool warrior with cool catch phrases going on...he's gotta face his nemesis, he's..." "Dead," Buffy finished for Andrew, already she was mourning him. Somewhere deep down she was still terrified of the Master and terrified of what he could do to everyone around her, that she couldn't protect them. The door slammed open as the top hinge fell off and Angel entered Spike still two steps behind. Angel surveyed the room: "Where's Connor?" he asked, addressing the three dumbfounded people. Faith and Buffy both seemed incapable of responding, everything was falling apart. Was Connor already dead? Would he be vamped? Would they be able to save Dawn? Andrew stuttered his response: "U..,um...we..we...think..,h.,.he went to the...M..Master's lair again," he got out backing into the wall. "What!" yelled Angel.