Chapter Four
Mr. Trimble: *pokes his head into the playroom* Timmy? Fred? Dinner's ready
Timmy and Fr--er, Gavroche: *glued to the TV* Shh. TV…
Mrs. Trimble: Aww, isn't that wonderful? Look at how they're bonding!
Mr. Trimble: *contented sigh* Yep. We've got this parenting thing down cold.
Timmy and Gavroche: Shh. TV…
Mrs. Trimble: Well, they don't seem to be hungry. But they really ought to meet the new girl who arrived this morning.
Mr. Trimble: You're right. Come on boys *bends to pull them away from the TV, but they just cling to the carpet* Uh, maybe we'd better bring her to them.
Mrs. Trimble: Good idea. *calls over her shoulder* Margaret! Come and meet your new little brothers!
Eponine: *trudges into the doorway, wearing a jean jumper with flowers on the front pocket* How many times do I have to tell you? My name is Eponine! Are all of you mad?!
Mr. Trimble: Aw, Margaret has such spunk. Isn't that special?
Eponine: Ugh. Well, they're better than my old parents, though that's not saying much.
Mrs. Trimble: Well, we'll leave you to get acquainted with the boys. *they leave*
Eponine: *flops down on the floor beside Timmy and Gavroche* You momes wouldn't happen to know a way out of…wait…Gavroche?
Gavroche: *dazed* That name…it sounds so familiar…Who is this Gavroche?
Eponine: *shakes her brother's shoulders violently* Gavroche!
Gavroche: You must be mistaken. My name is Fred, and…oh, wait…I remember! *blink* Eponine? Is that you?
Eponine: Yes! Gavroche, how long have you been staring at that contraption?
Gavroche: I dunno. Is it still April?
Eponine: *looks tired* Gavroche, we've got to get out of here!
Gavroche: *snicker* Good luck
Eponine: What, you mean you're not even going to try?
Gavroche: I already did. Trust me, it's a lost cause.
Eponine: Since when do you give up so easily? *shakes her head* Well, I'm leaving, with you or without you
Gavroche: Good luck. *snort* You'll need it.
Eponine: *opens the window and starts to climb out* AGH! *tumbles back inside* Gavroche, all the houses look the same!
Gavroche: Yeah, I know. I hear that this is something called a homeowner's association
Eponine: But how are we going to find our way out? We'll never be able to tell where we are.
Gavroche: Tell me about it! I tried to run, and ended up wandering in circles for two days *puts his feet up* Face it, Ponine. The best thing to do is just sit back and wait for the author to get sick of updating.
Eponine: *puts her face in her hands* Could things possibly get any worse?
The Trimbles: *their voices echoing from down the hall* Welcome to the family, Colette!
A Familiar Voice: For the last time, my name's Cosette!
Eponine: Oh, merde…
A seedy looking alley
Triangulum: *panting violently* I think…I…lost him! *sinks to the ground* Whew! That guy's plain crazy! *fans himself with his hat*
Joly: *dashes past, glancing over his shoulder anxiously* Run, Bousset!
Laigle: It's alright, Joly--I think we lost them
Joly: *leans against the wall, trying to catch his breath* That was close *wipes his forehead with a handkerchief* Let's rest here for a moment
Laigle: *sinks to the ground* Oh, hello! *smiles at Triangulum* I'm Laigle…or something along those lines…of the fundamentalist militia Les Amis de l'ABC. What's your name?
Triangulum: I am Brother Zaurak Triangulum, Shaman Second Rank, of the Ancient Mystic Society of Olgorgia.
Laigle: Pleased to meet you. This is my friend, Joly. Are you okay? You look like someone's been chasing you
Triangulum: So do you
Laigle: Yes, I know *darkens* You want to explain to the man, Joly?
Joly: For the last time, it wasn't my fault!
Laigle: *wearily* You disguised yourself as a patient and snuck into the hospital without paying.
Joly: Well, what was I supposed to do? I needed medical attention and these futuristic doctors won't accept payment without something called an insurance card *getting bitter* Apparently, a bushel of eggs or prize chicken isn't good enough for them anymore.
Triangulum: Medical attention? What's wrong with you?
Joly: I've got SARS!
Triangulum: *involuntarily leans a little farther away from him* What makes you say that?
Joly: Well, I'm sneezing and coughing like mad, and I've got a terrible fever. Feel how hot my head is!
Laigle: Joly, we've been running for almost an hour. Of course you're hot. And you didn't start sneezing and coughing until you saw that news headline about the epidemic.
*to Triangulum* He did the same thing during the cholera scare.
Joly: Shut up!
Laigle: *ignores his friend* So, what are you hiding from?
Triangulum: *glances around nervously* Well, this crazed French guy with a carbine is hunting me for some weird reason
Joly: *suspicious* This fellow you mentioned…what did he look like?
Triangulum: Tall, blond hair, funny looking vest--
Laigle: Why, that's Enjolras!
Triangulum: *grows very pale* You know him?
Joly: He's our leader, of course
Laigle: And if he's after you, you must have insulted the Republic. *nods to Joly* Let's get him!
Triangulum: Dear Lord, they're everywhere! *bolts down the alley*
Joly: He's getting away!
Laigle: After him! *runs for it*
Triangulum: AGH! *crashes right into Enjolras*
Enjolras: It's the infidel! *siezes him* Laigle, Joly, good work!
Laigle: What're we going to do with him?
Joly: Let's cough on him! *evil laugh*
Triangulum: Help! They're insane!
*A black car pulls up and two suits in dark glasses step out*
Suit Number One: Is there a problem here, gentlemen?
Triangulum: Get the cops! These guys are trying to kill me!
Suit Number Two: And who are you?
Triangulum: *starting to sweat* Uh…I…
Laigle: His name is Zaurak Triangulum
Triangulum: Shh!
Suit Number Two: Triangulum? *to Enjolras* Good work, young man!
Suit Number One: *flashes an ID badge* I'm Agent Faldo, and this is Agent Flinders. We're with the FBI. This con man has been on our most wanted list for months now.
Flinders: *cuffs Triangulum and shoves him in the car* Let's go, shaman.
Triangulum: NOOOO!
Faldo: *to the Amis* That joker has eluded the best agents our bureau has to offer. You did an impressive job.
Flinders: Boys, how would you like a job with the FBI?
Enjolras: FBI? Is that some kind of police force? Some elite band of thugs who terrorize the poor?
Flinders: You'd get to carry a gun
Enjolras: Really? Hmm….
Laigle: *grabs Enjolras' arm* Quick, Joly, he's getting that glimmer in his eye again!
Joly: *grabs his other arm* Let's get out of here!