God, I STILL don't own Eva. WHY? WHY CAN'T I OWN IT HUH? Again any comments from Rei are Blue. Shinji is Red.
The Ties that BindChapter
four: Realization
Where am I?
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Where am I?
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I am here again.
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Here I am again. What will I learn this time? In his slumber Shinji once again found himself assaulted by anothers' memories and emotions. What is this? Face, his father, Ritsuko, Misato, Asuka, Touji, Hikari, Kensuke, Shinji. Images of people Rei knew flashed in the darkness coming faster and faster until they were a blur of light and color.
Attached to each image there was an emotion, or feeling. His father, acceptance, and the love of a daughter. Ritsuko, fear, pain, and sorrow. Misato, Asuka, Touji, Hikari, Kensuke, indifference accompanied these faces. Finally, his own face, and her emotions regarding it. Joy, worry, acceptance, love… Love? Does Rei love me? Can she love me as I… Love her?
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What does Ikari feel for me?
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What does Rei feel for me?
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What do I feel? Why do I feel this way?
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The dark worlds Rei and Shinji found themselves in slowly faded away, and the two, slept on.
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Shinji slowly opened his eyes. After a moments confusion his gaze focused on the ceiling above him and he realized he was in his bedroom. Slowly, he sat up and looked around.
"What was with that weird dream?" he muttered. He desperately struggled to remember what the dream had been about but it seemed the harder he tried the faster it slipped away. One thing was certain however, it had largely concerned Rei Ayanami.
"Why would I dream about Rei?" he mumbled as he climbed out of bed to go take his shower. He slid open the door to his room and walked down the hallway to the bathroom. So engrossed was he in his thoughts that he failed to notice Misato and Asuka as he walked by the two of them. Asuka turned to watch as he slid open the bathroom door and closed it behind him, all the while mumbling quietly under his breath.
"Asuka?" Misato called. The red head turned to see Misato walking towards the kitchen. Once they were both seated at the table Misato paused for a moment before speaking.
"Asuka I want you to do me a little favor. Keep an eye on Shinji for me today."
"What? Why should I have to baby sit that pervert?"
"Don't think of it as baby sitting. I didn't ask you to hold his hand, I asked you to observe him and let me know if anything unusual happens."
"You think he's been doing drugs don't you?"
"No, if he was they would have shown up in his blood tests at the infirmary."
"Then why should I keep an eye on him at all?" They heard the bathroom door slide open and they waited quietly as Shinji went into his room before speaking.
"The cross synch test."
"What about it?"
"I'm not entirely sure but I think it did more to Shinji than Ritsuko is letting on."
"You think she knows what really happened?"
"Like I said I'm not entirely sure. But I can tell you that she's hiding something, I've known her long enough to be able to tell when she's lying to me." Their discussion was cut short when Shinji walked into the kitchen. Without a word or a glance to either of them he walked past, picked up his bag and headed down the hallway towards the front door.
Asuka arched an eyebrow at Misato as they heard the door slide shut. "You wanted me to look out for anything unusual right?" Misato nodded. "Does that count?" she asked as she jerked her head in the direction of the door. Another nod. Asuka stood up and picked up her bag. "Then I guess I should get going before he gets too far ahead."
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About a block from the apartment Shinji came to a stop by a telephone pole. Putting out one shaking hand he rested his palm against the rough wood and stood using the pole for support for a minute as he slowly clenched and unclenched his other fist in an attempt to stop its violent shaking.
"What's wrong now?" Shinji weakly raised his head to glare at the redhead. Auks stood some five feet away from him, her arms crossed beneath her breasts, school bag dangling from one hand.
"Nothings wrong," he said as he pushed himself away from the pole to stand without its support, his fists clenched tightly at his side to hide their shaking.
"Hmph," Asuka muttered as she spun away. "Whatever, let's get going Baka or we're going to be late."
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At the Tokyo-3 public middle school Rei Ayanami sat stiffly in her seat, both hands pressed tightly against the desk as she gazed out the window as usual. However today she was not just staring off into space, today she was waiting for someone.
She didn't have very long to wait either. As he neared the school she could sense him approaching and her apprehension grew with every second that passed. Finally he rounded the corner of the school building and she relaxed slightly as he came into view. Her hands relaxed their death grip on the desk with a creaking of the old screws that held the wood and metal together.
He looked up once at her window and their gazes locked as he walked towards the double doors leading into the school, until he disappeared inside. As he was lost to her view the apprehension returned with full force, and she turned to watch the classroom door, counting down the seconds until his arrival.
Down on the sidewalk Asuka paused for a moment as she noticed Shinji looking up before entering the building. Glancing up herself, she saw a flash of blue hair and instantly knew what had caught the young boys attention. 'So old Shinji has a thing for Wondergirl eh?' she thought. "I guess that falls under the unusual category to report back to Misato," she muttered as she followed Shinji up the stairs to classroom 2-A.
Shinji heard Asuka muttering under her breath and it distantly registered in the back of his mind, however he was too preoccupied to care so did not ask her to speak up. As he had caught sight of Rei he had instantly felt better then he had all morning, but upon entering the school his hands began to shake even more violently than before. His heart started pounding and he struggled to breathe past the lump in his throat.
"Soon," he whispered almost absentmindedly. "I'll see her very soon."
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The door swung open slowly and Shinji paused at the threshold. Blood red eyes met his deep ocean blue. A silent communication seemed to pass between the two Children and for several moments they were utterly still, gazing into each others eyes. Finally, Shinji moved forwards.
Asuka watched with evident surprise as Shinji did not turn immediately towards the back of the room where he usually sat with the other two stooges. Instead he walked straight across the room and without a word sat in the empty desk next to Rei Ayanami. 'What the HELL is that baka doing?' she thought.
She absentmindedly walked to her desk and as she did so, she felt a devilish smile grace her lips as a plan began to form itself deep in the recesses of her mind.
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"What is Shinji doing sitting next to Ayanami?" Touji asked quietly, a thin note of panic entering his voice.
"What's he doing?" Kensuke asked as he glanced up from the monitor of his laptop. His eyes quickly flicked over towards the window and he saw the pair sitting quietly, both seemingly lost in their own worlds.
"What the hell is he doing?" Touji asked again
"He's sitting next to Ayanami," Kensuke said in a perfectly calm tone as he turned back to his monitor.
Touji grinned softly as he knew the explosion was imminent and began to count in his head. '3… 2… 1….'
"He's sitting next to Ayanami?" Kensuke practically shouted aloud as his head snapped up towards the window again, his eyes almost bulging from their sockets in his surprise.
"So you finally noticed huh? Now what are we going to do about it?"
"Absolutely nothing," a new voice said from behind them. They turned to find Asuka standing behind them, both hands on her hips.
"What was that Red?" Touji asked, using his favorite nickname for her.
"You are not going to do anything about Shinji sitting with the little doll, at least not yet."
"Not yet?" Kensuke asked.
"Listen very carefully children," Asuka said as she leaned towards the two boys in a conspiratorial manner. "How would the two of you like to be on temporary assignment for NERV?" She watched as the gears began turning in the boys heads, and, after a moment a pair of identical grins appeared on their faces.
Then, in a whisper, she outlined her plan.
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A silence settled over them, one so thick you could practically cut it with a knife. However it was not an uneasy, or awkward silence. It was more of a companionable silence. The two were perfectly content to sit without speaking, just happy to be near each other.
The quiet buzz of the classroom around them went completely unnoticed by the two Children. Shinji stared straight ahead at the wall, his face, a nearly perfect imitation of Reis normal deadpan expression. While Rei continued to stare out the window as if she hadn't spent the last hour as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs waiting for him to finally arrive.
Near the front of the room a certain red haired pilot stared back at them with narrowed eyes, completely oblivious to the fact that her best friend was sitting right next to her in an attempt to catch her attention.
"Asuka!" Hikari Horaki bellowed, practically in the girls ear.
"Huh," Asuka asked, looking back at the class rep with a slightly bewildered expression on her face. "What did you say Hikari?"
"I asked why you were staring so intently at Shinji," she said after taking a deep, calming breath.
Asuka looked the pigtailed girl up and down for a moment. Then she leaned forward and spoke in a hushed whisper. "I have a plan I need your help with at lunch today…" And one more person was added to the conspiracy.
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The remainder of the day until lunch time was spent in a similar fashion. As the teacher began to drone on about Second Impact most of the class tuned him out, slept, or, as in the case of four students, warily watch two others while pretending not to.
Shinji and Rei both sat side by side ignoring everything around them, including each other. They were both lost in their own thoughts, oblivious to their classmates staring at them and oblivious to the droning of their sensei. However, just before the last bell something happened that got through their self imposed isolation.
Their sensei fell silent for a moment, an occurrence that cut through the class like a hot knife through butter and even the slumbering students roused themselves to see if he had suddenly keeled over of a heart attack. To their extreme disappointment the old man was still alive and well… however… he was looking at a piece of paper a messenger from the office had brought to him.
"Class," he said, once again gaining their undivided attention by the oddity of him EVER making an announcement in class. "Today the School board has decided that there should be a change to the Physical Education classes. After lunch today you will all report to the athletic field for further instructions. Enjoy your lunch," he finished just as the bell rang.
For nearly a minute the class sat there in complete silence, the same stunned look apparent on everyone's faces. Well, everyone, save for two students. As the teacher left the classroom Shinji and Rei both stood from their desks in perfect synch. The both retrieved their bags, and then walked out of the classroom, their footfalls landing in step.
Every eye followed them to the door and once it shut behind them it was as if someone had suddenly flicked a switch, turning the volume back on and the class was filled with voices as everyone began talking at the same time.
"Quick," Asuka said grabbing Hikaris' arm as she rose from her desk, "Let's grab Rei." She looked across the room and caught Toujis' eye. Their gazes locked and Asuka nodded her head once, Touji nodded in turn and grabbed Kensukes' arm, dragging him forcefully away from his laptop.
"Come on Hikari," Asuka said as she dragged the pigtailed class rep from the room. "We gotta catch Rei before they get away."
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"Rei," Asuka called as they approached the two. Shinji and Rei were walking along a slightly shaded path between buildings towards a grassy hill to the far end of the school where they might eat their lunches. Rei stopped as her name was called and turned to look back at the fiery second child as she approached them.
"Come on Rei," Asuka said, looping her arm through that of the blue haired pilots and proceeding to drag her away. "We need to talk; I'll give ya a few pointers on Piloting." Before the pale skinned Ms. Ayanami had a chance to say anything she found herself being forcibly dragged away from Shinji. She had an almost uncontrollable urge to decline the offer and stay with Shinji… however… seeing as she could not logically find a reason NOT to accompany the Second Child she acceded and walked along under her own power, after extracting her arm from Asukas' grip.
Shinji attempted to follow for reasons he could not understand he wanted to be near Rei, but before he was able to take more than three steps he was blocked by two young men, Kensuke Aida and Touji Suzahara.
"Shinji, Shinji, Shinji," Kensuke shook his head at the young Ikari. "You know we haven't seen you in over two weeks, and when you finally come back to school you don't even say "Hi" to your friends?"
"Huh?" Shinji said, looking back and forth between the two grinning boys.
"Yeah, you just breeze in here and sit next Ayanami without a word or glance to your two best friends," Touji said, sounding hurt and offended.
"Sorry guys," Shinji said absently, looking past them at Reis' retreating form. "I didn't mean to just ignore you like that I've… had some things on my mind lately." Kensuke and Touji watched as he followed Rei with his eyes, then, she disappeared around the corner of a building, and his eyes continued to follow a path as if he could see her through the building.
Finally he turned his attention back to the two boys. "So," he said, as if nothing had happened, "We still eating on the roof or you guys want to find someplace different today?"
Kensuke and Touji exchanged looks. "Different?" Kensuke ventured to say. "Like what?"
"I don't know," Shinji said shrugging his shoulders. He cast about a bit seeking a new place to sit and eat lunch when a memory flitted through his mind, one of cool grass, and shade. He snapped his fingers as the thought occurred to him. "Come on," he said, "I know a great place."
As the three of them began walking, Shinji in the lead, Touji and Kensuke watched the Third Child closely. They began to notice a few things as they walked. Shinji was acting a bit funny. Normally Shinji walked with a bit of confidence, since usually he knew where he was going, he appeared to know where he was going today, and the confidence was still there. However, they noticed that he still wasn't acting quite like himself.
It wasn't anything they could readily put their collective finger on; it was just a sense of something… off… with his behavior. They didn't have too long to think about it though because at precisely that moment they came around the corner of one of the school building and the boys saw a low hill ahead of them with a lone tree standing at the top.
"There we go. This'll be a great place to have lunch," Shinji said absently as he walked up the gentle incline.
"Yeah it looks pretty good," Touji agreed still scrutinizing the young Ikari. Little did he know that a certain trio of girls were at that moment sitting on the grass on the far side of that very hill, calmly eating their lunch.
They reached the top of the hill and Touji turned around to look back at the school. Though not very high, the hill was still high enough to give a good view of most of the school, the entire compound lay spread out beneath his feet and even he had to admit it was a fairly cool sight. The school was laid out precisely, and the horizon was a thin line of blue meeting green earth.
"Hey this is pretty cool," Touji said turning back to face his companions. The next moment he wished he hadn't as he came face to face with a rather irate Asuka Sohryu.
"What are you three doing here?" she growled in a low, menacing tone as she stood inches away from Touji.
"Uhh… w-w-we j-just f-f-followed Shinji," Touji stammered as he quickly stepped away from the angry pilot. Unfortunately he'd forgotten about the incline, and when his foot came down on empty air, where he'd expected firm ground he lost his balance and fell backwards down the hill tumbling end over end until he lay sprawled out on the grass at the base of the hill.
Asuka turned and grabbed Kensuke by the shirt with one hand, pulling him forwards until they were practically nose to nose. "Do you want to ruin my entire plan," she hissed at him. He shook his head violently from side to side. "Good. Now grab Shinji and get him the hell away from Rei." She waited for his acknowledgment then released him. Kensuke quickly grabbed Shinji's wrist and almost dragged the boy down the hill towards the still prone Touji.
"Stupid idiots can't do anything right," Asuka muttered under her breath as she turned back to Hikari and Rei. She paused when she saw Rei however. The blue haired albino had stood and moved to the top of the hill, staring intently at Shinji as Kensuke almost dragged him bodily away. Staring at someone isn't anything unusual really, and actually Rei had been known to look thoughtfully at times at the only male pilot. However never before had she glared in open anger at someone, as she currently was at Kensuke as he dragged Shinji around the corner of the building.
"That girl is starting to scare me," she whispered.
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"So what happened?" Asuka asked of the two stooges after lunch as they walked towards the athletic field.
"Shinji was acting really weird," Touji said, glancing nervously over at his friend as he continued to walk beside the ever silent Rei Ayanami.
"Weird how?"
"He wasn't really paying attention like he normally does," Kensuke piped in. "And he didn't blush when we teased him about Rei."
"Yeah and his hands were shaking too," Touji said. "Pretty badly, he dropped his food a couple times."
"His hands were shaking?" Asuka turned away from the boys and peered at Shinji. "What the hell is going on with you Shinji?" she muttered as the class reached the field.
"Class," the sensei called, clapping his hands to get their attention. "Today we're going to do something a little different. We're going to have a co-ed Soccer game."
A murmur went through the class. Soccer? They were going to play a game?
"How are we going to pick teams?" one student asked.
"Reasonable question. I'm going to assign teams. Would you all please line up here in front of me and I'll assign you to teams." The assembled students quickly moved to comply, getting a bit excited of the prospect of something other than boring old track, or swimming.
"All right class stay right were you are. I'm going to go down the line and give each of you a number. When you receive your number I want you to step out of line and go to either end of the field. Ones on the left, twos on the right. Any questions?"
"Our left or your left?" Kensuke asked.
"My left Mister Aida. Any other questions?"
There were none. The sensei went down the line assigning numbers and Asuka silently cursed herself as she realized that she was between Shinji and Rei, and with the way the count was going that meant the two of them would be on the same team, and she would be on the other.
"Well if nothing else this should certainly be interesting," she muttered to herself as they split into their teams.
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"It was insane Misato," Asuka said as they sat at the kitchen table that evening. "The two of them were all over the place, it was like they were thinking with one mind. Neither of them said a word during the entire game but where he was she was right behind him and vice versa."
Shinji was in his room, having said nothing at all except for a greeting since returning home from school.
"How do you mean Asuka?"
"I mean that it was nuts." She paused for a second to grab a soda from the fridge. "Let me give you an example. Half way through the game their team was running with the ball towards the goal. I got it from some pansy and was going back up the field when SHINJI comes out of no where and steals the ball. He kicks it straight up and then backs away and Rei pops up and kicks it down field. I swear it looked like they'd been practicing that maneuver for quite some time."
"Is that all."
"Nope. I enlisted some help at lunch. Hikari and I dragged Rei off to eat and the stooges kept Shinji busy."
"And?"
"After lunch we compared notes. Rei was kinda distant,"
"That's no surprise."
"Nuh-uh," Asuka shook her head. "Not her kinda distant. She seemed distracted and really really nervous. Her hands kept shaking and she kept looking towards the class room. Turns out that's where the boys ate their lunch. I swear it was like Rei knew where Shinji was without being able to see him. They said Shinji was the same way, absentminded, even for him, trembling hands, nervous gestures that kinda thing."
"So they're both suffering from the same thing." Misato looked down at the open can of beer that sat on the table in front of her.
"What do you thinks wrong Misato?" Asuka asked.
"I'm not sure." She got up and went to the sink. "But I'm sure Ritsuko knows more than she's telling us, and I intend to find out what that is." Then, she poured the rest of the beer down the drain.
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Across town, in a small, decrepit apartment a young woman gazed intently out of her window. She didn't know what it was, but she could feel a connection to him. She could feel him, like a presence floating just over her shoulder, always out of her line of sight but never so far that she couldn't feel him.
"Why can I sense you, Shinji?" The silence was broken just that one time by the whispered question, and as her blood red gaze continued to pierce the gloomy night outside her window, no answer was forthcoming.
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"Report."
"Sir, the information gathered from the school further confirms my theory. The First and Third Children are in some way connected. Their minds seem intertwined."
"They share thoughts?" That could be bad, if Shinji were to learn of their plans from Rei's thoughts…
"I don't believe so sir."
"What do you mean Doctor?"
"I don't think they share thoughts, merely an awareness. Think of it like Twins. Two children that are so close together they seem to share one mind at times. Their movements and reactions are nearly identical. When together they'll frequently start and end one another's sentences, but to them it seems like a natural occurrence. I already observed both of those occurrences in the first report I handed to you."
"So they are aware of each other on a purely instinctive level?"
"That is my assumption, yes."
"I don't have time for assumptions Doctor," he stated in the same cold, emotionless tone that permeated his every word. "Find out exactly what happened to them during that test and do it fast. We can't let anything interfere with the scenario."
"Yes sir."
"Dismissed."
Dr. Ritsuko Akagi turned smartly on her heel and swept from the room, the large double doors swinging ponderously shut behind her.
For a time there was silence.
Then…
"What are you going to do if the link can't be broken?"
"We'll have to cut it."
"You do realize that there's no telling what Rei's death might do to Shinji if he's so dependent on her already. He could destroy himself if he lost her."
Gendo did not respond to his old Senseis words. But inside, his mind was a storm of thoughts as he struggled to piece together what the situation might do to his scenario.
Suddenly the door to his office opened and Rei walked in. She came to a stop in front of his desk and stood at a shaky attention.
Gendo noted that she was blinking more often than normal, and her hands trembled violently at her sides, sweat stood out on her forehead and her breathing was heavy and labored. "Yes Rei?" he asked.
"Sir. I wish to move out of my apartment building."
"Why?"
Rei paused for a moment and her brow furrowed in confusion, something neither of the men in the room had ever seen her do. "I am not entirely sure Sir. I just feel that I would like to live some where else."
"Where might that be?" Gendo asked. Her response did nothing to improve his mood.
End
And theres chapter four. Finally. So, where is Rei going to move to? Why is Gendo so upset about it? Why the hell am I still talking instead of working on chapter five? All these and more will be answered in the next chapter.