Why can't I own Eva? *whimpers and curls up in a little ball* Note: Since
the sites can't support the colors I originally used for Shinji and Rei
finishing each others sentences look at it this way. Whichever one of them
STARTS the sentence is the one speaking, the other is just a medium the
words travel through. So if Shinji speaks first, it's from him, if Rei
speaks first it's from her. Got that? Good. Read on.
The Ties that Bind
Chapter Five: Endings
Two days after the soccer game at school the entire class had grown slightly more accustomed to seeing Rei and Shinji together during classes and at lunch. Rei began sitting with Shinji and his friends during lunch though as far as everyone could see it was like she wasn't there at all. The boys carried on as usual despite continuing differences in Shinji's normal behavior. Rei simply ate her lunch in silence as if the boys around her didn't exist.
To Shinji and Rei it was enough just to be in each others presence. However Kensuke and Touji were still unnerved every time Shinji and Rei finished each others sentences; which happened whenever Shinji spoke, seeing as Rei was still not much of a conversationalist.
"So have you asked-"
"Horaki-san out yet?"
"Would you two please stop doing that?" Touji pleaded as Rei finished Shinji's question without looking away from her lunch.
"Doing what?" Shinji asked, a puzzled frown creasing his forehead.
"Never mind," Touji sighed. "And no I did not ask her out, and I don't plan on ever asking her out."
"Oh come on Touji," Kensuke teased. "We both know you like her." He cast a sidelong glance at the stoic Rei. "Well, the three of us," he corrected.
"I'm not going to ask the class rep out," he snapped at the bespectacled teenager.
"Why not-"
"Touji?"
Kensuke and Touji looked back and forth between the two Children as both looked at Touji with identical expressions on their faces.
"I really wish you two would stop that but I'll answer the question any way Shinji."
"Ikari-kun did not ask-"
"that question-"
"I did."
"Rei?" The surprise was evident in the young Suzaharas voice. "Ok how do we tell which one of you is the one talking when you both finish each others sentences?"
"The one of us-" Shinji said,
"that speaks first-"
"is the one that has-"
"something to say."
"So when Rei starts it it's her talking, and when Shinji starts it's him?" Kensuke asked.
"Right," Shinji nodded to Touji. "So?"
"So what?" Touji asked.
"Why do you not-" Rei started,
"intend to ask-"
"Horaki-san out?"
"I just don't have any intention of ever asking her out okay?"
"Why?" Rei asked, turning to face Touji while tilting her head to one side
"You may as well-"
"answer her," Rei said.
"She doesn't let go of a question-" Shinji said.
"until someone answers it to her satisfaction."
"Is there any way I can get you two to stop doing that?" Touji pleaded with them. His only response was an identical deadpan expression that sent shivers up his spine. He sighed, "I don't intend to ask her out 'cause I don't know if she's even interested in me at all."
"This is considered-"
"sufficient reason not-"
"to pursue a relationship?" Rei asked.
"As far as I'm concerned," Touji said suppressing a mild shudder at the still unnerving speech patterns. "And who said anything about a relationship? One date, even if I did ask her out does not make a relationship."
"I do not understand," Rei confessed, her brow furrowed slightly in the most obvious display of emotion any of the boys had ever seen her express.
"Men and women may date; however dating does not necessarily constitute a relationship between the two other than casual interest."
Touji and Kensuke turned to gape at Shinji. "What did you just say?" Kensuke asked.
"What?" Shinji blinked confusedly at the two boys. "What'd I say?"
"Never mind," Kensuke sighed. "Did that answer your question Rei?" He said turning to her.
"Yes." She turned away from the boys and went back to her lunch dismissing them as soon as her attention left them.
"I don't think I will ever understand her," Touji whispered to Kensuke.
"I don't think she wants anyone to understand her," Kensuke muttered back, both boys keeping their voices low so neither of the two Children would hear them. It was at that moment that the bell rang for them to return to class and Shinji and Rei stood in unison, after first packing away the remainder of their lunches to then walk once again in union towards the class room, where they would sit out the remainder of their day in school like two human statues.
"There is something seriously weird about what is going on with them," Touji muttered darkly as he watched one of his best friends wander away with the most unsociable girl in the class, as well as one of the prettiest.
"You're just saying that because the two of them are bugging you about the class rep," Kensuke joked, elbowing Touji in the ribs.
"What? I don't know what you're talking about. I have no interest in Hikari," Touji loudly denied his interest in the pig tailed class rep as they made their way towards class, the odd behavior of the first and third children already forgotten.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
That evening, at the Katsuragi household the pleasant smells of fried fish and rice cooking filled the small apartment, testament to the fact that Misato was not doing the cooking. Shinji stood at the stove humming softly to himself as his eyes watched the wall in front of him. Every few minutes his eyes would move one way or another, as if he was tracking something moving along the wall.
"Misato?" Shinji called.
"Yeah?"
"Dinners almost ready, would you mind if I invited Rei over to eat with us?"
"Why would you want to have Wonder Girl over here?" Asuka snapped at him from her seat on the couch next to Misato as the two watched TV.
"I just thought that since she moved into a new apartment today she might want to have dinner with someone she knows. Her new apartment really is too big just for her."
Misato and Asuka shared a look.
"Shinji?" Misato asked.
"Hmmm?"
"How do you know Rei moved out of her old apartment building?"
"Huh? Oh I don't know." He frowned thoughtfully for a moment as his eyes tracked to the left of the wall towards the door to their apartment. "I just kinda had a feeling she moved in next door to us."
"Did you see her move in?" Asuka asked.
"No."
"Then how do you know that she moved in next door you idiot?" she snapped.
"Would you get the door please Asuka?" he asked absently as he set the table and served up a plate of rice and Vegetables for Rei.
"Nobodies at the door dummy," she growled.
Just then the doorbell rang and Shinji went to answer the door. The two women in the living room shared another look and both leaned over the back of the couch to look down the hallway as Shinji opened the door. Misato fell over the back of the couch on her head as the door slid open to reveal Rei Ayanami standing calmly on the door step, still in her school uniform.
~~~~~~~~~~~
"How did he know she was there?" Misato whispered to herself late that night as she struggled to find sleep. "How could he have possibly known she was at the door before it even rang? And how did he know she moved in next door to us? I didn't even know that."
She rolled over onto her back as she thought over the evening. It had been a quiet meal to say the least. Both Asuka and herself had been too preoccupied watching Rei and Shinji to say much, and both of the latter were the quiet sort anyway.
Throughout the entire meal neither said a word, but at the same time whole volumes of information seemed to pass between the two. At times Shinji would suddenly put down his fork and reach over to pick up one of the plates of food, or the salt and he would hand it to Rei just as she looked up from her plate, whereupon she would accept whatever it was he was handing her and go back to her meal as silently as ever. Frequently she also passed things to Shinji without him ever asking for them, yet he always seemed to want whatever she picked up.
After they'd finished eating the two of them had silently left the table. Rei walked to the door and left, and Shinji went to the kitchen to do the dishes, leaving Asuka and Misato still sitting in stunned silence at the table.
"There is something seriously weird going on with the two of them. They're more highly synchronized than Shinji and Asuka were when they were training for the fight with the Seventh Angel" Misato muttered quietly to herself.
After agonizing over it for another half an hour Misato finally gave up and concentrated on getting to sleep, as she had an early shift in the morning, and she didn't want to be late.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Early afternoon the next day the Twelfth Angel appeared over Tokyo-3, and the bonds would be tested by the day's events.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You're late Major," Ritsuko snapped as Misato came running onto the command deck.
"Sorry," Misato said. She turned to look at Aoba. "What's going on? The Fuji Observation Center-"
"Never detected it," Aoba cut in. "It just suddenly appeared right above us."
"Pattern is Orange," Makoto said staring intently at the monitor before him, "No AT field detected."
"What is that thing?" Misato asked.
"A new kind of angel?"
"Unkown," Maya called from her station. "The Magi are withholding their judgment on that."
"Damnit," Misato swore as the Zebra striped sphere floated across the screen. "Another situation like this and commander Ikari isn't here again."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Why am I here?" Shinji muttered to himself some time later as he made his way through the city inside Unit-01. "Why did I let Asuka goad me into this?" He came to a stop behind one of the many sky scrappers in the city, back to the wall with the large revolver held at the ready.
"Asuka, Rei, are you in position yet?" he whispered into the comm. System.
"Not yet," came the gentle reply from Rei that involuntarily brought a slight smile to his lips.
"You know an Eva can't move that fast you twit," Asuka snapped. She started forwards again but was jerked to a sudden stop as the umbilical cord hooked into her units back caught on one of the buildings. "Shiest," she swore, ejecting the plug and removing another from a nearby supply building.
She started forwards again when she heard Shinji whisper in her ear, "Are you there?" She neglected to answer, and, a second later her heart stopped as she heard three shots echo over the city.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Deep within Nerv, all hell broke loose as on screen the Zebra striped sphere vanished.
"What the hell happened?" Misato yelled.
"Pattern Blue," Makoto said, "Angel confirmed, it's right beneath Unit-01."
"A shadow?" Shinji gasped as he began to sink into the spreading pool of black beneath him. He pointed the gun in his hand towards his feet and emptied the rest of the clip into the darkness; his finger jerking reflexively on the trigger several times after the clip was spent. "What the hell is this? This can't be happening!"
"Shinji get out of there," Misato screamed at him. "Shinji."
"Ikari!"
"You idiot get your ass in gear," Asuka screamed.
"Misato? What's going on? Help me."
"Eject the plug," Misato screamed. "Get him out of there."
"No response, it's not working," Maya shot over her shoulder.
Over the speakers Shinji continued to scream in terror as Unit-01 sank lower and lower into the city street, and as the horn atop its head sank out of sight static reigned over the speakers, and Shinji's voice was abruptly silenced.
"Asuka, Rei, rescue Unit-01 hurry," Misato screamed.
Braced between two buildings Rei fired her rifle at the Sphere that had reappeared in the sky above the city. It vanished as the shots passed through it, destroying a building behind it.
"Asuka look out," Misato screamed as the ground beneath Unit-02's feet began to darken.
"A Shadow?" Asuka panicked and leapt straight up, grabbing onto the side of a building. Using her progressive axe, and knife she made her way onto the roof, and the relative safety to watch as the entire city began to sink into the shadow beneath it.
"What's going on?" she asked. "The whole City is sinking.
"Asuka, Rei, pull back," Misato said.
"What?"
"But Unit-01 and Shinji are still in there?" Rei protested. In the command center Ritsuko frowned as she caught the note of fear in the first Childs voice. One that should not have been there.
"This is an order," Misato whispered, her shoulders shaking with repressed sobs. "Withdraw now."
Outside Unit-01's umbilical cable continued to sink into the shadow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hours later Rei and Asuka stood outside the mobile command unit. Unit's 00 and 02 crouched nearby like two giants poised for battle. Rei was leaning against a wall, listening to Asuka verbally mock Shinji.
From the moment he'd disappeared into that shadow Rei had felt as if half of her was missing, and it took all of her self control not to break down in tears. She felt horrible, shivering, sweating, and unable to catch her breath. However listening to Asuka stirred something deep inside the blue haired pilot. Something she'd never felt before, and before she knew it she was pushing away from the wall to approach the second Child, almost as if her body was acting outside of her minds desires.
Asuka opened her eyes to find herself practically nose to nose with Rei. And she covered her surprise rather well. "What? Are my comments about Shinji pissing you off wonder girl?" she snapped.
Rei tilted her head slightly to one side for a moment, as if considering Asuka's words. "Yes, I think they are," she said her vice tinged with a barely noticeable edge of anger. "Please stop speaking about him in such a manner."
Asuka was to say the least dumbfounded. Of every possible response Rei might have made, THAT was not one Asuka had even considered. "Or what?" she snapped after a moment of silence. "I don't have to listen to your smart remarks Wonder Girl. I don't need to have anyone's approval but my own."
"Cut it out you two," Misato snapped from the railing overlooking the city. "Asuka's right." Reis head snapped up and she barely suppressed a sharp retort at Misatos words. "He acted arbitrarily and without consulting anyone," Misato continued. "So I guess I'll just have to punish him when he comes back."
Rei narrowed her eyes at the majors back, her fists clenched tightly at her sides. "I will protect you Shinji," she thought. "I will protect you with my life. But. please, come back to me. I . I love you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It's been over twelve hours since I switched to life support mode," Shinji muttered, looking at the glowing numbers on the back of his hand after once again checking outside the unit to find no change whatsoever. "My life will end in four or five hours," he whispered.
Before, the thought of death had never scared him. He never worried about it, he never cared. If he died, so what? There would be no one left to mourn his passing. On several occasions he had even contemplated taking his own life. But he had never managed to do it. It was just another form of running away.
No it was still not the fear of death that was eating at him. It was the fear of how those he would leave behind would feel. But more so, what his dying would do to Rei. The girl he'd come to love over the last several weeks.
Shinji was not a stupid boy. He knew something unusual had happened at the Cross Synchronization test. He knew that at any time of the day or night, and from anyplace in the city he could point directly to Rei no matter where she was. He knew that if he wasn't near her he felt horribly ill and weak. He knew her mind; he knew many of her secrets, though he couldn't believe most of them. He knew her origins, he knew that their minds had merged during the test, and he also knew that only the part of her that he retained in his own mind, the part of her that was calm, and cool at all times, was what kept him from breaking down completely at the horrors he'd seen in her thoughts.
He also knew that if he were to die, she would as well.
Which is why the next thought that occurred to him seemed so utterly ridiculous. "I'm hungry."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So that Shadow was actually the Angels body?" Misato asked.
"Correct." Ritsuko turned to indicate the board behind her, upon which numerous equations and diagrams had been drawn, none of which Misato could read. "It's 680 meters in diameter with a thickness of three nano- meters. Sustained within that ultra thin space, is an inverted AT field. Inside of that field is a region of space that can only be defined by abstract mathematics. A sea of Dirac. It could be another universe."
"What about the sphere?"
"It disappears when the imaginary circuit of the body closes. This implies that the object in the sky is a kind of shadow."
"So the black shadow that swallowed Unit-01 is the real target," Misato muttered.
"Then there's no way we can fight it," Asuka whispered from her seat nearby as she and Rei watched the adults plan the next course of action.
Rei remained silent, though one trembling hand went to her chest, covering her heart, as she felt a growing emptiness spread throughout her body, and the certainty that she would soon be dead.
"I smell blood," she whispered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I hate this place!" Shinji screamed as he pounded on the hatch to exit Unit-01. "It smells like blood in here. Let me out of here. Someone open the door, let me out. Misato what's going on? Rei. REI let me out," He collapsed against the hatch. "Someone help me."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You're gonna blow the shadow up?" Misato repeated.
"I'm afraid it's the only possibility that might work. The plan is to drop all 992 existing N2 mines into the targets center while simultaneously activating the AT fields of both remaining Eva's in such a way as to disrupt the hypothetical circuit that encloses the Angel's pocket interior. If we concentrate enough explosive power during that same microsecond it could destroy the angel along with the Dirac Sea that makes up its body." Ritsuko explained.
"But the damage to Eva would be. Shinji wouldn't. what in the hell kind of rescue operation is this?" Misato demanded.
"Our priority is to get the Eva back," Ritsuko snapped, glaring slightly at her friend. "Even if it has to be destroyed in the process."
"Now wait a second-"
"Under these conditions the pilots' life is irrelevant." Ritsuko felt a sudden impact and her left cheek exploded in pain as Misato slapped her, sending her glasses flying to the pavement.
"It's you're responsibility if Shinji's lost Misato," Ritsuko yelled at her. "You seem to have forgotten that."
"Then why the hell are you and Commander Ikari so worried about recovering Unit-01," Misato said. "What's so special about it?" she snapped grabbing the front of Ritsukos lab coat and hauling the blonde closer to her.
"You've been given all the information Major."
"That's bull."
"Misato, just trust me." She bent and picked up her glasses. "I'm taking control of this operation as of now."
"There's so many secrets that I'm in the dark about," Muttered to herself as her old friend walked away from her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a world of darkness, deep within the recesses of Shinji Ikaris mind, he found himself in a dilemma. He found himself aboard a maglev train, the window across from him showing a scene of a sunset, the light blinding him and obscuring anything in front of him.
"Who?" he asked.
"Who? Shinji Ikari." Another voice answered, one that sounded suspiciously like his own.
"That's me," he said.
"I am you. This self incorporates another self. The self has always been composed of two selves."
"Two?"
"Yes. The self which is observed and the self which observes itself. To expound there is the Shinji Ikari that exists in your mind, the Shinji Ikari in Misato Katsuragis mind, the Shinji Ikari in Asuka Shoryu's mind, the Shinji Ikari in Rei Ayanamis mind, and the Shinji Ikari in Gendo Ikaris mind. All of them are different Shinji Ikaris but each of them is a true Shinji Ikari. What you fear is the Shinji Ikari that exists in the mind of others."
"I'm just afraid of being hated," Shinji said.
"You are afraid of being hurt."
"But who's bad?" Shinji asked.
"Father is, the father who deserted us."
"No I'm the one who's bad," Shinji denied.
"There you go again," Asuka shouted at him, "You're always apologizing. Do you really think it's your fault?"
"I'm worthless," Shinji said.
"No." Misato. "You just believe that you're worthless Shinji."
Rei slapped him, as she did on that day months ago. "Don't you trust your own father?" she asked.
"I thought I hated my father, but, now I'm not sure."
"Good work Shinji," Gendo said.
"My father called me by my name," he exulted. "I was praised by my father."
"Will you spend the rest of your life regurgitating and re-digesting those few pleasant memories?" his voice asked of him. He found himself sitting on a train, a younger version of himself sitting across from him, the sun behind the younger Shinji.
"If I trust their words, it's enough. Enough to keep me alive."
"Even though you know you're deceiving yourself?"
"Everybody does it, that's how everyone survives," Shinji said.
"If you will not accept that you are capable of initiating change within yourself you will be unable to continue."
"This world is filled with too much pain and suffering to keep going on," Shinji said.
"You can't swim."
"Humans aren't made to float."
"This is self deception."
"I don't care what you want to call it."
"You have been shutting your eyes and covering your ears, making yourself blind and deaf to that which you wish to avoid."
Touji hitting him, Kensuke telling him of how Touji's sister was hurt during his first battle over Tokyo-3.
"No I don't want to hear this," Shinji screamed.
"You see? You're running away from your reality again. No one can justify their existence by thinking their happiest moments into a kind of rosary."
"What's wrong with doing what you want to do?" Shinji asked. "Why won't you leave me alone?" he screamed within his mind.
"Because I want to help you. Ikari-kun."
Shinji stopped short. "Rei?"
She appeared before him. "Yes Shinji."
"Why would you want to help me?"
"Because I care for you. Because I need you. And because I love you. Come back to me Shinji. Come back to me." The form of Rei began to slowly fade away, and within moments he was left alone in the darkness.
And his eyes opened.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The heat system and the oxygen are giving out," he whispered into the entry plug. "I'm cold. This is the end; I'm so tired, of everything.
In the darkness of the entry plug a light began to shine, a presence washed over him, one he knew in his heart.
"Mother?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Outside the bombers were about to drop the bombs, when Rei felt Shinji die.
"What's going on?" Misato yelled as they all heard Rei scream over the comm. System. It wasn't a scream of pain or fear, but one of heart rending loss, and utter despair.
"I don't know," Maya stammered. "Her life signs just dropped rapidly."
As abruptly as it started, the scream cut off, and Rei turned to face the shadow. A second later a deep rumbling sound filled the city, and huge crack began to appear in the shadow, cracks as red as blood.
"What the hell is that," Asuka yelled from Unit-02 as the cracks spread over the surface of the shadow.
"What's going on?" Misato demanded.
"We don't know."
"All the meters and gauges are going off the scale."
"But we haven't done anything yet," Ritsuko snapped.
"Do you think it could be Shinji?" Rei asked.
"That's impossible; Unit-01's power level must be at zero."
"It is Shinji," Rei whispered as the sphere above the city began to bulge outwards, as if from some pressure inside it. "He's come back to me."
The stripes faded, leaving a solid black sphere hovering there. Suddenly one side of it ruptured as a gigantic fist thrust through it, blood spraying out over the city in torrents as everyone looked on in varying stages of awe, disgust, and terror.
The tears in the sphere grew bigger as Unit-01 became visible inside tearing its way out in some bizarre and twisted mockery of birth. It forced its head and shoulders through the hole it had created and roared to the sky above in a voice that sent a shiver of fear down the spine of every person near enough to hear.
"Mien Gott," Asuka whispered from Unit-02. "Is that what I'm piloting?"
Rei looked on, calm as ever, save for the tears streaming down her cheeks as she exited her unit.
"God in Heaven" Ritsuko breathed as she watched the horrid display. "What kind of Monster have we made this from?"
"I know that the Eva's are more than just copies of the first angel," Misato thought. "What is Nerv going to do with them once all the angels are destroyed?"
Her attention was brought back to the view screen as Unit-01 crashed to the ground beneath the sphere, covered in blood, its eyes glowing with an unholy fire for a few moments before it went silent.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a hiss as the entry plug hatch opened and splashes as the LCL overflowed onto the ground. Rei scrambled inside half blinded by her tears and struggling to breathe past her sobbing. Stumbling slightly over the edge of the hatch she threw herself over Shinji's form.
She cried against his chest, wrapping her arms around him as best she could, taking some comfort in his presence. The feel of his body pressed against her reassuring her that he was really there, and it wasn't just her imagination. She rose above him and gently kissed him, pressing her lips to his for a moment before laying her head back on his chest.
Slowly his arms came up around her holding her close against him and she lifted her head to look into his eyes. "I just. wanted to see you, one more time," he whispered in a tired voice holding her gaze for a moment before exhaustion took him, and he passed out.
She said nothing as she held him, continuing to cry silently against him as Misato watched on from outside the hatch, tears standing in her own eyes at the scene she witnessed.
"Weren't you going to punish him?" Asuka asked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shinji woke hours later to find himself back in the hospital room with the baby blue ceiling. He lay silently for a moment staring up at the ceiling before he turned his head to the girl sleeping beside his bed.
Rei was sitting in a chair next to him, her arms folded on the bed with one of his hands held tightly in her own. He watched her for some time, studying her face, flawless skin, light blue hair feathering delicately about her face.
After several minutes she stirred slightly and her eyes opened meeting his blue with her deep red. The two remained that way, locked in each others gaze until finally Rei leaned forwards and gently pressed her lips to his. Memory crashed in on him as he recalled their first kiss in Unit-01's entry plug after she'd collapsed against him in tears, something he never thought he'd ever witness from her.
His attention snapped back to her as she pulled back from the kiss.
"How are you feeling?" she asked.
"Fine. I barely even feel tired." He looked towards the door for a moment before turning back to her. "Think they'll let me out of here soon?"
"They should let you go soon. We have a lot to talk about," she whispered, lightly brushing his lips again.
"Yes, we do." He suddenly frowned slightly lifting the hand she held to his face to gently sniff at the back of his hand.
"It still smells like blood."
End.
And Chapter five is ready.
I would like to point out that much of what is said in Shinjis mind between himself and younger Shinji is taken directly from the episode, with my little part with Rei at the end being of my own creation. I just thought I'd let everyone know that.
All else will be explained in chapter six. The budding relationship between Shinji and Rei, how everybody else feels about it, how GENDO is going to take it. And of course, the dreaded events of the thirteenth angel soon to come. Good god how are things going to go now that I've screwed with everything?
You'll just have to stick around to find out. Ain't I evil? Hehehehe.
The Ties that Bind
Chapter Five: Endings
Two days after the soccer game at school the entire class had grown slightly more accustomed to seeing Rei and Shinji together during classes and at lunch. Rei began sitting with Shinji and his friends during lunch though as far as everyone could see it was like she wasn't there at all. The boys carried on as usual despite continuing differences in Shinji's normal behavior. Rei simply ate her lunch in silence as if the boys around her didn't exist.
To Shinji and Rei it was enough just to be in each others presence. However Kensuke and Touji were still unnerved every time Shinji and Rei finished each others sentences; which happened whenever Shinji spoke, seeing as Rei was still not much of a conversationalist.
"So have you asked-"
"Horaki-san out yet?"
"Would you two please stop doing that?" Touji pleaded as Rei finished Shinji's question without looking away from her lunch.
"Doing what?" Shinji asked, a puzzled frown creasing his forehead.
"Never mind," Touji sighed. "And no I did not ask her out, and I don't plan on ever asking her out."
"Oh come on Touji," Kensuke teased. "We both know you like her." He cast a sidelong glance at the stoic Rei. "Well, the three of us," he corrected.
"I'm not going to ask the class rep out," he snapped at the bespectacled teenager.
"Why not-"
"Touji?"
Kensuke and Touji looked back and forth between the two Children as both looked at Touji with identical expressions on their faces.
"I really wish you two would stop that but I'll answer the question any way Shinji."
"Ikari-kun did not ask-"
"that question-"
"I did."
"Rei?" The surprise was evident in the young Suzaharas voice. "Ok how do we tell which one of you is the one talking when you both finish each others sentences?"
"The one of us-" Shinji said,
"that speaks first-"
"is the one that has-"
"something to say."
"So when Rei starts it it's her talking, and when Shinji starts it's him?" Kensuke asked.
"Right," Shinji nodded to Touji. "So?"
"So what?" Touji asked.
"Why do you not-" Rei started,
"intend to ask-"
"Horaki-san out?"
"I just don't have any intention of ever asking her out okay?"
"Why?" Rei asked, turning to face Touji while tilting her head to one side
"You may as well-"
"answer her," Rei said.
"She doesn't let go of a question-" Shinji said.
"until someone answers it to her satisfaction."
"Is there any way I can get you two to stop doing that?" Touji pleaded with them. His only response was an identical deadpan expression that sent shivers up his spine. He sighed, "I don't intend to ask her out 'cause I don't know if she's even interested in me at all."
"This is considered-"
"sufficient reason not-"
"to pursue a relationship?" Rei asked.
"As far as I'm concerned," Touji said suppressing a mild shudder at the still unnerving speech patterns. "And who said anything about a relationship? One date, even if I did ask her out does not make a relationship."
"I do not understand," Rei confessed, her brow furrowed slightly in the most obvious display of emotion any of the boys had ever seen her express.
"Men and women may date; however dating does not necessarily constitute a relationship between the two other than casual interest."
Touji and Kensuke turned to gape at Shinji. "What did you just say?" Kensuke asked.
"What?" Shinji blinked confusedly at the two boys. "What'd I say?"
"Never mind," Kensuke sighed. "Did that answer your question Rei?" He said turning to her.
"Yes." She turned away from the boys and went back to her lunch dismissing them as soon as her attention left them.
"I don't think I will ever understand her," Touji whispered to Kensuke.
"I don't think she wants anyone to understand her," Kensuke muttered back, both boys keeping their voices low so neither of the two Children would hear them. It was at that moment that the bell rang for them to return to class and Shinji and Rei stood in unison, after first packing away the remainder of their lunches to then walk once again in union towards the class room, where they would sit out the remainder of their day in school like two human statues.
"There is something seriously weird about what is going on with them," Touji muttered darkly as he watched one of his best friends wander away with the most unsociable girl in the class, as well as one of the prettiest.
"You're just saying that because the two of them are bugging you about the class rep," Kensuke joked, elbowing Touji in the ribs.
"What? I don't know what you're talking about. I have no interest in Hikari," Touji loudly denied his interest in the pig tailed class rep as they made their way towards class, the odd behavior of the first and third children already forgotten.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
That evening, at the Katsuragi household the pleasant smells of fried fish and rice cooking filled the small apartment, testament to the fact that Misato was not doing the cooking. Shinji stood at the stove humming softly to himself as his eyes watched the wall in front of him. Every few minutes his eyes would move one way or another, as if he was tracking something moving along the wall.
"Misato?" Shinji called.
"Yeah?"
"Dinners almost ready, would you mind if I invited Rei over to eat with us?"
"Why would you want to have Wonder Girl over here?" Asuka snapped at him from her seat on the couch next to Misato as the two watched TV.
"I just thought that since she moved into a new apartment today she might want to have dinner with someone she knows. Her new apartment really is too big just for her."
Misato and Asuka shared a look.
"Shinji?" Misato asked.
"Hmmm?"
"How do you know Rei moved out of her old apartment building?"
"Huh? Oh I don't know." He frowned thoughtfully for a moment as his eyes tracked to the left of the wall towards the door to their apartment. "I just kinda had a feeling she moved in next door to us."
"Did you see her move in?" Asuka asked.
"No."
"Then how do you know that she moved in next door you idiot?" she snapped.
"Would you get the door please Asuka?" he asked absently as he set the table and served up a plate of rice and Vegetables for Rei.
"Nobodies at the door dummy," she growled.
Just then the doorbell rang and Shinji went to answer the door. The two women in the living room shared another look and both leaned over the back of the couch to look down the hallway as Shinji opened the door. Misato fell over the back of the couch on her head as the door slid open to reveal Rei Ayanami standing calmly on the door step, still in her school uniform.
~~~~~~~~~~~
"How did he know she was there?" Misato whispered to herself late that night as she struggled to find sleep. "How could he have possibly known she was at the door before it even rang? And how did he know she moved in next door to us? I didn't even know that."
She rolled over onto her back as she thought over the evening. It had been a quiet meal to say the least. Both Asuka and herself had been too preoccupied watching Rei and Shinji to say much, and both of the latter were the quiet sort anyway.
Throughout the entire meal neither said a word, but at the same time whole volumes of information seemed to pass between the two. At times Shinji would suddenly put down his fork and reach over to pick up one of the plates of food, or the salt and he would hand it to Rei just as she looked up from her plate, whereupon she would accept whatever it was he was handing her and go back to her meal as silently as ever. Frequently she also passed things to Shinji without him ever asking for them, yet he always seemed to want whatever she picked up.
After they'd finished eating the two of them had silently left the table. Rei walked to the door and left, and Shinji went to the kitchen to do the dishes, leaving Asuka and Misato still sitting in stunned silence at the table.
"There is something seriously weird going on with the two of them. They're more highly synchronized than Shinji and Asuka were when they were training for the fight with the Seventh Angel" Misato muttered quietly to herself.
After agonizing over it for another half an hour Misato finally gave up and concentrated on getting to sleep, as she had an early shift in the morning, and she didn't want to be late.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Early afternoon the next day the Twelfth Angel appeared over Tokyo-3, and the bonds would be tested by the day's events.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You're late Major," Ritsuko snapped as Misato came running onto the command deck.
"Sorry," Misato said. She turned to look at Aoba. "What's going on? The Fuji Observation Center-"
"Never detected it," Aoba cut in. "It just suddenly appeared right above us."
"Pattern is Orange," Makoto said staring intently at the monitor before him, "No AT field detected."
"What is that thing?" Misato asked.
"A new kind of angel?"
"Unkown," Maya called from her station. "The Magi are withholding their judgment on that."
"Damnit," Misato swore as the Zebra striped sphere floated across the screen. "Another situation like this and commander Ikari isn't here again."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Why am I here?" Shinji muttered to himself some time later as he made his way through the city inside Unit-01. "Why did I let Asuka goad me into this?" He came to a stop behind one of the many sky scrappers in the city, back to the wall with the large revolver held at the ready.
"Asuka, Rei, are you in position yet?" he whispered into the comm. System.
"Not yet," came the gentle reply from Rei that involuntarily brought a slight smile to his lips.
"You know an Eva can't move that fast you twit," Asuka snapped. She started forwards again but was jerked to a sudden stop as the umbilical cord hooked into her units back caught on one of the buildings. "Shiest," she swore, ejecting the plug and removing another from a nearby supply building.
She started forwards again when she heard Shinji whisper in her ear, "Are you there?" She neglected to answer, and, a second later her heart stopped as she heard three shots echo over the city.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Deep within Nerv, all hell broke loose as on screen the Zebra striped sphere vanished.
"What the hell happened?" Misato yelled.
"Pattern Blue," Makoto said, "Angel confirmed, it's right beneath Unit-01."
"A shadow?" Shinji gasped as he began to sink into the spreading pool of black beneath him. He pointed the gun in his hand towards his feet and emptied the rest of the clip into the darkness; his finger jerking reflexively on the trigger several times after the clip was spent. "What the hell is this? This can't be happening!"
"Shinji get out of there," Misato screamed at him. "Shinji."
"Ikari!"
"You idiot get your ass in gear," Asuka screamed.
"Misato? What's going on? Help me."
"Eject the plug," Misato screamed. "Get him out of there."
"No response, it's not working," Maya shot over her shoulder.
Over the speakers Shinji continued to scream in terror as Unit-01 sank lower and lower into the city street, and as the horn atop its head sank out of sight static reigned over the speakers, and Shinji's voice was abruptly silenced.
"Asuka, Rei, rescue Unit-01 hurry," Misato screamed.
Braced between two buildings Rei fired her rifle at the Sphere that had reappeared in the sky above the city. It vanished as the shots passed through it, destroying a building behind it.
"Asuka look out," Misato screamed as the ground beneath Unit-02's feet began to darken.
"A Shadow?" Asuka panicked and leapt straight up, grabbing onto the side of a building. Using her progressive axe, and knife she made her way onto the roof, and the relative safety to watch as the entire city began to sink into the shadow beneath it.
"What's going on?" she asked. "The whole City is sinking.
"Asuka, Rei, pull back," Misato said.
"What?"
"But Unit-01 and Shinji are still in there?" Rei protested. In the command center Ritsuko frowned as she caught the note of fear in the first Childs voice. One that should not have been there.
"This is an order," Misato whispered, her shoulders shaking with repressed sobs. "Withdraw now."
Outside Unit-01's umbilical cable continued to sink into the shadow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hours later Rei and Asuka stood outside the mobile command unit. Unit's 00 and 02 crouched nearby like two giants poised for battle. Rei was leaning against a wall, listening to Asuka verbally mock Shinji.
From the moment he'd disappeared into that shadow Rei had felt as if half of her was missing, and it took all of her self control not to break down in tears. She felt horrible, shivering, sweating, and unable to catch her breath. However listening to Asuka stirred something deep inside the blue haired pilot. Something she'd never felt before, and before she knew it she was pushing away from the wall to approach the second Child, almost as if her body was acting outside of her minds desires.
Asuka opened her eyes to find herself practically nose to nose with Rei. And she covered her surprise rather well. "What? Are my comments about Shinji pissing you off wonder girl?" she snapped.
Rei tilted her head slightly to one side for a moment, as if considering Asuka's words. "Yes, I think they are," she said her vice tinged with a barely noticeable edge of anger. "Please stop speaking about him in such a manner."
Asuka was to say the least dumbfounded. Of every possible response Rei might have made, THAT was not one Asuka had even considered. "Or what?" she snapped after a moment of silence. "I don't have to listen to your smart remarks Wonder Girl. I don't need to have anyone's approval but my own."
"Cut it out you two," Misato snapped from the railing overlooking the city. "Asuka's right." Reis head snapped up and she barely suppressed a sharp retort at Misatos words. "He acted arbitrarily and without consulting anyone," Misato continued. "So I guess I'll just have to punish him when he comes back."
Rei narrowed her eyes at the majors back, her fists clenched tightly at her sides. "I will protect you Shinji," she thought. "I will protect you with my life. But. please, come back to me. I . I love you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It's been over twelve hours since I switched to life support mode," Shinji muttered, looking at the glowing numbers on the back of his hand after once again checking outside the unit to find no change whatsoever. "My life will end in four or five hours," he whispered.
Before, the thought of death had never scared him. He never worried about it, he never cared. If he died, so what? There would be no one left to mourn his passing. On several occasions he had even contemplated taking his own life. But he had never managed to do it. It was just another form of running away.
No it was still not the fear of death that was eating at him. It was the fear of how those he would leave behind would feel. But more so, what his dying would do to Rei. The girl he'd come to love over the last several weeks.
Shinji was not a stupid boy. He knew something unusual had happened at the Cross Synchronization test. He knew that at any time of the day or night, and from anyplace in the city he could point directly to Rei no matter where she was. He knew that if he wasn't near her he felt horribly ill and weak. He knew her mind; he knew many of her secrets, though he couldn't believe most of them. He knew her origins, he knew that their minds had merged during the test, and he also knew that only the part of her that he retained in his own mind, the part of her that was calm, and cool at all times, was what kept him from breaking down completely at the horrors he'd seen in her thoughts.
He also knew that if he were to die, she would as well.
Which is why the next thought that occurred to him seemed so utterly ridiculous. "I'm hungry."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So that Shadow was actually the Angels body?" Misato asked.
"Correct." Ritsuko turned to indicate the board behind her, upon which numerous equations and diagrams had been drawn, none of which Misato could read. "It's 680 meters in diameter with a thickness of three nano- meters. Sustained within that ultra thin space, is an inverted AT field. Inside of that field is a region of space that can only be defined by abstract mathematics. A sea of Dirac. It could be another universe."
"What about the sphere?"
"It disappears when the imaginary circuit of the body closes. This implies that the object in the sky is a kind of shadow."
"So the black shadow that swallowed Unit-01 is the real target," Misato muttered.
"Then there's no way we can fight it," Asuka whispered from her seat nearby as she and Rei watched the adults plan the next course of action.
Rei remained silent, though one trembling hand went to her chest, covering her heart, as she felt a growing emptiness spread throughout her body, and the certainty that she would soon be dead.
"I smell blood," she whispered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I hate this place!" Shinji screamed as he pounded on the hatch to exit Unit-01. "It smells like blood in here. Let me out of here. Someone open the door, let me out. Misato what's going on? Rei. REI let me out," He collapsed against the hatch. "Someone help me."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You're gonna blow the shadow up?" Misato repeated.
"I'm afraid it's the only possibility that might work. The plan is to drop all 992 existing N2 mines into the targets center while simultaneously activating the AT fields of both remaining Eva's in such a way as to disrupt the hypothetical circuit that encloses the Angel's pocket interior. If we concentrate enough explosive power during that same microsecond it could destroy the angel along with the Dirac Sea that makes up its body." Ritsuko explained.
"But the damage to Eva would be. Shinji wouldn't. what in the hell kind of rescue operation is this?" Misato demanded.
"Our priority is to get the Eva back," Ritsuko snapped, glaring slightly at her friend. "Even if it has to be destroyed in the process."
"Now wait a second-"
"Under these conditions the pilots' life is irrelevant." Ritsuko felt a sudden impact and her left cheek exploded in pain as Misato slapped her, sending her glasses flying to the pavement.
"It's you're responsibility if Shinji's lost Misato," Ritsuko yelled at her. "You seem to have forgotten that."
"Then why the hell are you and Commander Ikari so worried about recovering Unit-01," Misato said. "What's so special about it?" she snapped grabbing the front of Ritsukos lab coat and hauling the blonde closer to her.
"You've been given all the information Major."
"That's bull."
"Misato, just trust me." She bent and picked up her glasses. "I'm taking control of this operation as of now."
"There's so many secrets that I'm in the dark about," Muttered to herself as her old friend walked away from her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a world of darkness, deep within the recesses of Shinji Ikaris mind, he found himself in a dilemma. He found himself aboard a maglev train, the window across from him showing a scene of a sunset, the light blinding him and obscuring anything in front of him.
"Who?" he asked.
"Who? Shinji Ikari." Another voice answered, one that sounded suspiciously like his own.
"That's me," he said.
"I am you. This self incorporates another self. The self has always been composed of two selves."
"Two?"
"Yes. The self which is observed and the self which observes itself. To expound there is the Shinji Ikari that exists in your mind, the Shinji Ikari in Misato Katsuragis mind, the Shinji Ikari in Asuka Shoryu's mind, the Shinji Ikari in Rei Ayanamis mind, and the Shinji Ikari in Gendo Ikaris mind. All of them are different Shinji Ikaris but each of them is a true Shinji Ikari. What you fear is the Shinji Ikari that exists in the mind of others."
"I'm just afraid of being hated," Shinji said.
"You are afraid of being hurt."
"But who's bad?" Shinji asked.
"Father is, the father who deserted us."
"No I'm the one who's bad," Shinji denied.
"There you go again," Asuka shouted at him, "You're always apologizing. Do you really think it's your fault?"
"I'm worthless," Shinji said.
"No." Misato. "You just believe that you're worthless Shinji."
Rei slapped him, as she did on that day months ago. "Don't you trust your own father?" she asked.
"I thought I hated my father, but, now I'm not sure."
"Good work Shinji," Gendo said.
"My father called me by my name," he exulted. "I was praised by my father."
"Will you spend the rest of your life regurgitating and re-digesting those few pleasant memories?" his voice asked of him. He found himself sitting on a train, a younger version of himself sitting across from him, the sun behind the younger Shinji.
"If I trust their words, it's enough. Enough to keep me alive."
"Even though you know you're deceiving yourself?"
"Everybody does it, that's how everyone survives," Shinji said.
"If you will not accept that you are capable of initiating change within yourself you will be unable to continue."
"This world is filled with too much pain and suffering to keep going on," Shinji said.
"You can't swim."
"Humans aren't made to float."
"This is self deception."
"I don't care what you want to call it."
"You have been shutting your eyes and covering your ears, making yourself blind and deaf to that which you wish to avoid."
Touji hitting him, Kensuke telling him of how Touji's sister was hurt during his first battle over Tokyo-3.
"No I don't want to hear this," Shinji screamed.
"You see? You're running away from your reality again. No one can justify their existence by thinking their happiest moments into a kind of rosary."
"What's wrong with doing what you want to do?" Shinji asked. "Why won't you leave me alone?" he screamed within his mind.
"Because I want to help you. Ikari-kun."
Shinji stopped short. "Rei?"
She appeared before him. "Yes Shinji."
"Why would you want to help me?"
"Because I care for you. Because I need you. And because I love you. Come back to me Shinji. Come back to me." The form of Rei began to slowly fade away, and within moments he was left alone in the darkness.
And his eyes opened.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The heat system and the oxygen are giving out," he whispered into the entry plug. "I'm cold. This is the end; I'm so tired, of everything.
In the darkness of the entry plug a light began to shine, a presence washed over him, one he knew in his heart.
"Mother?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Outside the bombers were about to drop the bombs, when Rei felt Shinji die.
"What's going on?" Misato yelled as they all heard Rei scream over the comm. System. It wasn't a scream of pain or fear, but one of heart rending loss, and utter despair.
"I don't know," Maya stammered. "Her life signs just dropped rapidly."
As abruptly as it started, the scream cut off, and Rei turned to face the shadow. A second later a deep rumbling sound filled the city, and huge crack began to appear in the shadow, cracks as red as blood.
"What the hell is that," Asuka yelled from Unit-02 as the cracks spread over the surface of the shadow.
"What's going on?" Misato demanded.
"We don't know."
"All the meters and gauges are going off the scale."
"But we haven't done anything yet," Ritsuko snapped.
"Do you think it could be Shinji?" Rei asked.
"That's impossible; Unit-01's power level must be at zero."
"It is Shinji," Rei whispered as the sphere above the city began to bulge outwards, as if from some pressure inside it. "He's come back to me."
The stripes faded, leaving a solid black sphere hovering there. Suddenly one side of it ruptured as a gigantic fist thrust through it, blood spraying out over the city in torrents as everyone looked on in varying stages of awe, disgust, and terror.
The tears in the sphere grew bigger as Unit-01 became visible inside tearing its way out in some bizarre and twisted mockery of birth. It forced its head and shoulders through the hole it had created and roared to the sky above in a voice that sent a shiver of fear down the spine of every person near enough to hear.
"Mien Gott," Asuka whispered from Unit-02. "Is that what I'm piloting?"
Rei looked on, calm as ever, save for the tears streaming down her cheeks as she exited her unit.
"God in Heaven" Ritsuko breathed as she watched the horrid display. "What kind of Monster have we made this from?"
"I know that the Eva's are more than just copies of the first angel," Misato thought. "What is Nerv going to do with them once all the angels are destroyed?"
Her attention was brought back to the view screen as Unit-01 crashed to the ground beneath the sphere, covered in blood, its eyes glowing with an unholy fire for a few moments before it went silent.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a hiss as the entry plug hatch opened and splashes as the LCL overflowed onto the ground. Rei scrambled inside half blinded by her tears and struggling to breathe past her sobbing. Stumbling slightly over the edge of the hatch she threw herself over Shinji's form.
She cried against his chest, wrapping her arms around him as best she could, taking some comfort in his presence. The feel of his body pressed against her reassuring her that he was really there, and it wasn't just her imagination. She rose above him and gently kissed him, pressing her lips to his for a moment before laying her head back on his chest.
Slowly his arms came up around her holding her close against him and she lifted her head to look into his eyes. "I just. wanted to see you, one more time," he whispered in a tired voice holding her gaze for a moment before exhaustion took him, and he passed out.
She said nothing as she held him, continuing to cry silently against him as Misato watched on from outside the hatch, tears standing in her own eyes at the scene she witnessed.
"Weren't you going to punish him?" Asuka asked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shinji woke hours later to find himself back in the hospital room with the baby blue ceiling. He lay silently for a moment staring up at the ceiling before he turned his head to the girl sleeping beside his bed.
Rei was sitting in a chair next to him, her arms folded on the bed with one of his hands held tightly in her own. He watched her for some time, studying her face, flawless skin, light blue hair feathering delicately about her face.
After several minutes she stirred slightly and her eyes opened meeting his blue with her deep red. The two remained that way, locked in each others gaze until finally Rei leaned forwards and gently pressed her lips to his. Memory crashed in on him as he recalled their first kiss in Unit-01's entry plug after she'd collapsed against him in tears, something he never thought he'd ever witness from her.
His attention snapped back to her as she pulled back from the kiss.
"How are you feeling?" she asked.
"Fine. I barely even feel tired." He looked towards the door for a moment before turning back to her. "Think they'll let me out of here soon?"
"They should let you go soon. We have a lot to talk about," she whispered, lightly brushing his lips again.
"Yes, we do." He suddenly frowned slightly lifting the hand she held to his face to gently sniff at the back of his hand.
"It still smells like blood."
End.
And Chapter five is ready.
I would like to point out that much of what is said in Shinjis mind between himself and younger Shinji is taken directly from the episode, with my little part with Rei at the end being of my own creation. I just thought I'd let everyone know that.
All else will be explained in chapter six. The budding relationship between Shinji and Rei, how everybody else feels about it, how GENDO is going to take it. And of course, the dreaded events of the thirteenth angel soon to come. Good god how are things going to go now that I've screwed with everything?
You'll just have to stick around to find out. Ain't I evil? Hehehehe.