Chapter 4
Link has just entered the river place. (I would have started playing the game again but I've been playing Armored Core 3 and AvP: Extinction so much...)
Navi: How did you know to come here?
Link: The author god told me.
Navi: Eh?
Link: Him. (points to...me! ShadowReaper! I am fairly tall, with black/brown spiked hair, black clothes, boots, gloves, black cape, and a black clothe covering my mouth and nose. This is only what I want myself to look like in my little world. Geebergiber!)
Navi: The hell is that?
Link: The author god.
SR: Yup. I control you every action, thought, and feeling. I am the one writing this, therefore I am god to you. YOU WILL WORSHIP ME OR BURN!!! Anyway, see you later! (spreads demon wings and flies off)
Navi: Right...
Link walks towards the wall of boulders.
Owl: Hey Link!
Link: Not again...
Owl: Time for some pointless information! Press the B button to swing your sword. Move the control stick in different directions to move. Well, I'm off!
(The owl flies off, only to be seen eaten by a dragon)
Link: Hmm...not much happening this chapter...
Navi: Yet...
Guy: Yeah I know.
Mareg: The world is doomed when giant combat robots grow gerbils for nose hair!
Gannon: Yes! Mwahahahhahaahhahhhahhah!!! (gallops off on his horse)
Link: Damnit! You just had to give him idea didn't you Mareg! I have to hurry! (starts running up the river trail. Part way up he is hit in the nuts with a rock those octo creatures spit at you. Link layed there for about half an hour, then he went to sleep. While he slept the ghoma ran by with Mido)
Mido: PLLLLLLLEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSEEEE!!! HELP ME!!! HE THINKS I'M A FEMALE!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo.......
(The next morning Link wakes up)
Link: (yawns) Good morning Navi....Navi?
(Inside of a fish)
Navi: Digestive juices! It burrrrrrnnnnnnsssss!
Link: W00T!!! She's gone!
(Link proceeds to the waterfall)
Link: Ok. Now where the hell do I go?
(Silence)
Link: Now where the hell do I go?
(Silence)
Link: Damnit SR, help me here! You made me an idiot so help me out!
(SR appears from nowhere)
SR: I know you're an idiot, that's why I gave you a strategy guide.
Link: That was a strategy guide? I used it as toilet paper.
(Silence)
SR: You mean to tell me you made it this far without using the guide?
Link: Yup.
(Silence)
Link: What's up with all the silence?
SR: (shrugs) Well I've wasted enough time. Play Zelda's lullaby and the waterfall will let up a bit to reveal a passage. (vanishes)
Link: Meh. (plays song on the spoon-shaped ocarana)
The passage to the Zora's domain opens. Link enters.
Link: Who are these people?
Zora: We are zora.
{Hmmm...I'm having a bit of trouble thinking of something funny about the zora...}
Link: (waves hand in front of nose) No wonder it smelled like rotting fish. I mean you guys aren't even dead and you smell like dead fish. Try pouring some soap in that water here or at least use lysol, jeeze!
Zora: Right...what business brings you here?
Link: I need the cheese sauce of time. Where can I get it sushi?
Zora: My name is not sushi, and our leader, King Zora, holds it.
Link: Thanks Sushi. (walks off)
{Thx to my friend JSG for helping me with the ideas}
(At King Zora)
Link: Jesus Christ you're a fat ass. I mean you musn't move at all to get that big! Your legs can't even support you!
KZ(King Zora) : (eats nonstop) MMMph. Delicious pork, potato chips, bacon!
Link: Do you even hear me?
Guy: Blub blub blub!
KZ: MMMMM. Urgh...NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! MY FOODS GONE!!! FEEEEEEEEEEZEEEEEEEEEERN!!!!
Link: (takes out a bag of ruffles) Lookie at what I got!
KZ: Name your price.
Link: The cheese sauce of time.
KZ: Done!
(They trade off)
Link: Well, I did that quickly and without a stupid boss fight! ^_^
{Well, there was an unexpected ending to the chapter}
Link has just entered the river place. (I would have started playing the game again but I've been playing Armored Core 3 and AvP: Extinction so much...)
Navi: How did you know to come here?
Link: The author god told me.
Navi: Eh?
Link: Him. (points to...me! ShadowReaper! I am fairly tall, with black/brown spiked hair, black clothes, boots, gloves, black cape, and a black clothe covering my mouth and nose. This is only what I want myself to look like in my little world. Geebergiber!)
Navi: The hell is that?
Link: The author god.
SR: Yup. I control you every action, thought, and feeling. I am the one writing this, therefore I am god to you. YOU WILL WORSHIP ME OR BURN!!! Anyway, see you later! (spreads demon wings and flies off)
Navi: Right...
Link walks towards the wall of boulders.
Owl: Hey Link!
Link: Not again...
Owl: Time for some pointless information! Press the B button to swing your sword. Move the control stick in different directions to move. Well, I'm off!
(The owl flies off, only to be seen eaten by a dragon)
Link: Hmm...not much happening this chapter...
Navi: Yet...
Guy: Yeah I know.
Mareg: The world is doomed when giant combat robots grow gerbils for nose hair!
Gannon: Yes! Mwahahahhahaahhahhhahhah!!! (gallops off on his horse)
Link: Damnit! You just had to give him idea didn't you Mareg! I have to hurry! (starts running up the river trail. Part way up he is hit in the nuts with a rock those octo creatures spit at you. Link layed there for about half an hour, then he went to sleep. While he slept the ghoma ran by with Mido)
Mido: PLLLLLLLEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSEEEE!!! HELP ME!!! HE THINKS I'M A FEMALE!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo.......
(The next morning Link wakes up)
Link: (yawns) Good morning Navi....Navi?
(Inside of a fish)
Navi: Digestive juices! It burrrrrrnnnnnnsssss!
Link: W00T!!! She's gone!
(Link proceeds to the waterfall)
Link: Ok. Now where the hell do I go?
(Silence)
Link: Now where the hell do I go?
(Silence)
Link: Damnit SR, help me here! You made me an idiot so help me out!
(SR appears from nowhere)
SR: I know you're an idiot, that's why I gave you a strategy guide.
Link: That was a strategy guide? I used it as toilet paper.
(Silence)
SR: You mean to tell me you made it this far without using the guide?
Link: Yup.
(Silence)
Link: What's up with all the silence?
SR: (shrugs) Well I've wasted enough time. Play Zelda's lullaby and the waterfall will let up a bit to reveal a passage. (vanishes)
Link: Meh. (plays song on the spoon-shaped ocarana)
The passage to the Zora's domain opens. Link enters.
Link: Who are these people?
Zora: We are zora.
{Hmmm...I'm having a bit of trouble thinking of something funny about the zora...}
Link: (waves hand in front of nose) No wonder it smelled like rotting fish. I mean you guys aren't even dead and you smell like dead fish. Try pouring some soap in that water here or at least use lysol, jeeze!
Zora: Right...what business brings you here?
Link: I need the cheese sauce of time. Where can I get it sushi?
Zora: My name is not sushi, and our leader, King Zora, holds it.
Link: Thanks Sushi. (walks off)
{Thx to my friend JSG for helping me with the ideas}
(At King Zora)
Link: Jesus Christ you're a fat ass. I mean you musn't move at all to get that big! Your legs can't even support you!
KZ(King Zora) : (eats nonstop) MMMph. Delicious pork, potato chips, bacon!
Link: Do you even hear me?
Guy: Blub blub blub!
KZ: MMMMM. Urgh...NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! MY FOODS GONE!!! FEEEEEEEEEEZEEEEEEEEEERN!!!!
Link: (takes out a bag of ruffles) Lookie at what I got!
KZ: Name your price.
Link: The cheese sauce of time.
KZ: Done!
(They trade off)
Link: Well, I did that quickly and without a stupid boss fight! ^_^
{Well, there was an unexpected ending to the chapter}