The Letter
By
Snivellus, aka Heather Granger
A/N: I really like this story, I hope you do too. All writing is courtesy of JK Rowling, without whom I could not write this story.
A clattering of plates signaled the start of another meal at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, but for Severus Snape, it did not interest him. He hadn't felt much like eating since he had been released from the hospital wing last week. He like the rest of the school was in a state of unrest.
Harry Potter had defeated the Dark Lord, but many other students and faculty died in the process. Among those dead were: Rubeus Hagrid, Dean Thomas, Draco Malfoy, and Sybil Trelawney. The staff were morning those lost, and trying to support the school that they had fought so hard to keep.
Severus Snape wasn't sure if he should be relieved, or saddened, either way one look into his eyes would leave your mind reeling. Severus was injured in one of the battles and it had left him more than a little shaken up. Dinner was still going on when he saw a small black owl flying towards him.
The students put down their silverware and stopped all conversation; Severus furrowed his brow and carefully removed the attached letter and looked at the handwriting. His hand swept back his hair, and sighed.
"Severus, is everything alright?" Albus Dumbledore asked.
"Yes, I think so, excuse me Headmaster." Severus stood up and pushed his chair at the high table in, and exited out of the side door.
"Albus, What is the matter with Severus, is he ill again?" Minerva asked.
"I don't believe he is ill, I am sure if it was serious he would seek out help." Albus answered. Over at the Gryffindor table, Harry and Hermione were conversing about the scene that just took place.
"Harry, did you see that? That didn't look like a British owl; it must be from over seas.
"Hermione, I will never understand how your mind works, I mean out of all the things, you notice the bloody owl is not British?" Harry questioned.
"I can't help it, that I am observant. I just hope it is nothing bad, I feel awful about what Professor Snape already went through, I mean, granted it isn't as bad as what you went through, Harry, but you know what I mean." Hermione added quickly.
"He was just released last week from the hospital wing, he looked horrible. They even had to put stitches in his lip because it wouldn't magically stay sealed. I can still see him shake every once in a while, and he definitely isn't eating much." Hermione said with a sad voice.
"He will be fine Hermione, trust me I think we will all be alright in time." Ron chimed in.
"I don't know Ron, I mean the man wasn't quite alright before the war." Harry said.
"Honestly, you too need to stop judging the man, that is all he is, is a man, nothing more, nothing less." Hermione lectured.
Back outside the Great Hall, Professor Snape sat on one of the many stone benches that lined the hallway.
He took the perfectly white envelope and rubbed it between his fingers several times before turning it over. He saw the emblem clear as day, and recognized it as his family crest.
A hunter green dragon was encompassed by two fern sprigs, had forever been the symbol of the Snapes. He knew that the letter could only be from one person, a person who he was sure would rather see him dead.
"Severus?" The Headmaster placed his wrinkled hand on the man's shoulder.
"It's from April." He said softly.
"Oh my." The Headmaster said and squeezed Severus's shoulder.
"Have you opened it?"
"No, of course not, why should I, she probably never opened any of my letters." Severus said as he drummed the letter against his hand.
"How can you be so sure about that?"
"She never responded."
"Maybe she needed some time."
"Time? I'll give her bloody time, 17 years of waiting, and trying to forget." Snape hissed.
"You have to consider the events Severus, the circumstances were not of the best nature." At this Severus scoffed.
"I shall leave you now, if you need someone to talk to, my door is always open." Dumbledore got to his feet and looked at Severus.
Severus slowly got up and made his way to his rooms. April Snape, well perhaps she was known as April Winters, no matter, Severus knew that she wanted nothing to do with him, she made that clear when even Albus Dumbledore's letter to her merited no response. The seal indicated to him that she was in fact alive, and that she had written this letter.
Severus Snape reached into his desk drawer and withdrew a small jade pensive. The silver liquid swirled in a fast pace. He placed his wand in the liquid and drew the specific memory to the top and stopped swirling. Taking a deep breath, Severus dove into the pensive.
[Severus was standing in the middle of a familiar room, it was the Malfoy manor, the living room to be more specific, and he was 17 years younger.
"Severus, have you taken care of the child?" Lucius Malfoy asked casually while swirling a glass of brandy.
"You make her sound like a piece of merchandise!" He growled.
"Well, you told the Dark Lord that she meant nothing to you? Are you telling me you have feelings for the child? I am growing tired of reiterating to the Dark Lord that you are in fact detached from the girl."
"I am her father, and her mother died, what am I to do, send her to an orphanage?"
"I don't see why not, the girl's mother was a whore."
"Isabelle was not a whore!" Snape roared. At this Lucius knew he had gone to far and ignored the previous events.
"Well, you certainly can't keep her, you know how the Dark Lord feels about this." Lucius drawled.
"I know, I think an American wizarding family has agreed to take her, I am to deliver her tomorrow."
"Good the sooner the better. Honestly Severus, one drunken night with her mother, and one week with the girl can hardly count as any kind of relation."]
At this Severus drew himself out of the memory and laid his hands on his forehead.
"April Snape, have you written a letter condemning your father of his sins?" He spoke out loud to himself as he placed his finger under the seal and broke it open.
Severus lifted the pretty decorative paper out of the envelope and read out loud the contents of the letter.
"April Morgana Snape and Andrew David Lewis would like to announce that they are engaged to be married on July 18th 1998. You are cordially invited to share in this happy occasion with the new couple at Hampton Downs in Yorkshire. Please enter through the alleyway in between the hardware store and Lewishams department store."
His eyes widened with each word, his daughter was getting married. He figured that she would be 22 by now, and he figured the invitation was more of a courtesy, than an actual invite to his estranged daughter's wedding.
After reading the invitation he noticed that there was something else in the envelope, so he placed the invitation on his desk and removed the letter.
"Dear Severus,
I don't really know where to begin, it seems odd that after years of composing a letter to you in my head, that I am now lost for words. I suppose your first thought is why? Well, as you have probably seen by now, I am getting married this summer, and thought that it was only right to invite you.
I have received every single one of your letters, and yes I did read them, but no I was too angry to ever respond. I was angry at you, at Dumbledore, and at the whole situation."
Severus felt like his heart was ripping open and found like that there was not enough oxygen in the room. This he confessed was truly worse than the Cruciatus curse.
"I always made up these silly scenarios in my head when I was younger thinking, well maybe if you weren't working for Dumbledore, and if you loved me enough that you would come take me home with you. As I got older and I knew that Voldermort was gone, I was sure you would come, but I again waited in vain. When I was 10, I received your first letter. I must admit that after reading it I set aflame with my anger. I was young and selfish, as all children are. Funny, I blamed myself, I always blamed myself."
"How could you blame yourself, it was always my fault, I told you that it was my fault, and that nothing could ever make up for my decision." Severus yelled at the piece of paper. He read on:
"As I entered school I forgot about you, my friends said it was best, they said I didn't need you and your poor excuse for leaving me. I was a teenager and thought myself invincible, but as my teen years ended I found that I was wrong. Sitting at my graduation, seeing all of my friends with their families, and I with my foster family, who were more than kind, but not the same. I saw them sharing, laughing and crying with them, and I realized that I would never have that, all because I was so angry, so angry with you.
That was the first time I wrote you a letter, but you did not receive it, for it is now lining a landfill. I read it and felt that it could not express hurt, the sadness that I was feeling. I met my fiancŽe, he said that I should forgive you, and in my heart I knew he was right, but I still felt too much anger.
You're probably wondering then, why I am now able to write to you with no ill will or hatred. I must confess that I have seen you since you dropped me off with that American family when I was 5 years old. I shall recount the events as I remember them as best I can.
It was this past winter, I had come to England to complete my training as a International Liaison to the Ministry of Magic from the States, when I saw you."
At this Severus's eyes widened. She had seen him, why on earth didnÕt he recognize her.
"You were entering through the floo network when I saw you and Albus Dumbledore walking quite swiftly to the front desk. You were weak, I saw you falter. You leaned quite heavily on the desk for support. You and Dumbledore headed up to the Minister's office, and I decided to follow you. I was in fact in the same elevator you occupied.
You reached the door, I stayed back and overheard you two talking as you were waiting for Fudge to open the door."
Severus recalled the conversation.
["Severus, what on earth were you thinking, you could have very well been killed last night." Albus spoke.
"I had no choice, if I hadn't have gone to the meeting, he would be at Godric's Hollow right now scourging the place for residue of the ancient magic that saved Potter the first time."
"We could have dealt with it Severus, I told you from the beginning, nothing is worth your life."
"Well, then I supposed that I broke that promise 17 years ago when I left my daughter at the house of a stranger's."]
"I must admit no matter how many time I had read a similar reason in your letter, nothing got to me more than hearing you say that I was your life, even after 17 years. That moment meant more to me than you will ever know.
I wanted to say I am sorry, I know that we have both made mistakes, but I hope that if you come to my wedding, we can start again, and forget the pain that we have caused ourselves, and each other.
I would like nothing more than to share this day with you, because I never knew how little happiness you have seen, and when you always said in your letters that I was the last bit of happiness in your world I never took that seriously until now.
Forever yours,
April M. Snape
Severus felt like crying, and that was saying a lot for a man who never wore his emotions on his sleeve. He was truly touched.
He placed the letter on his desk and took out a mirror that was in his top drawer. He looked into it and saw her. Much like the mirror Sirius gave to Harry, Severus had left one in his daughter's possession before leaving her. She never learned what it was, for she never asked for him, but Severus had used it several times he had never forgotten her, and always wished that things would have turned out differently, but now for the first time Severus felt like he was getting a fresh new start, but first that would mean meeting her face to face, along with her fiancŽe.
Severus placed the mirror back into the drawer and quickly jotted a note and sealed it with the same crest that April had used, and called for the black owl. What did the note say?
A simple "I love you" was all, but that filled the pages of a broken past for April.
A/N: I really like this story, I hope you do too. All writing is courtesy of JK Rowling, without whom I could not write this story.
A clattering of plates signaled the start of another meal at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, but for Severus Snape, it did not interest him. He hadn't felt much like eating since he had been released from the hospital wing last week. He like the rest of the school was in a state of unrest.
Harry Potter had defeated the Dark Lord, but many other students and faculty died in the process. Among those dead were: Rubeus Hagrid, Dean Thomas, Draco Malfoy, and Sybil Trelawney. The staff were morning those lost, and trying to support the school that they had fought so hard to keep.
Severus Snape wasn't sure if he should be relieved, or saddened, either way one look into his eyes would leave your mind reeling. Severus was injured in one of the battles and it had left him more than a little shaken up. Dinner was still going on when he saw a small black owl flying towards him.
The students put down their silverware and stopped all conversation; Severus furrowed his brow and carefully removed the attached letter and looked at the handwriting. His hand swept back his hair, and sighed.
"Severus, is everything alright?" Albus Dumbledore asked.
"Yes, I think so, excuse me Headmaster." Severus stood up and pushed his chair at the high table in, and exited out of the side door.
"Albus, What is the matter with Severus, is he ill again?" Minerva asked.
"I don't believe he is ill, I am sure if it was serious he would seek out help." Albus answered. Over at the Gryffindor table, Harry and Hermione were conversing about the scene that just took place.
"Harry, did you see that? That didn't look like a British owl; it must be from over seas.
"Hermione, I will never understand how your mind works, I mean out of all the things, you notice the bloody owl is not British?" Harry questioned.
"I can't help it, that I am observant. I just hope it is nothing bad, I feel awful about what Professor Snape already went through, I mean, granted it isn't as bad as what you went through, Harry, but you know what I mean." Hermione added quickly.
"He was just released last week from the hospital wing, he looked horrible. They even had to put stitches in his lip because it wouldn't magically stay sealed. I can still see him shake every once in a while, and he definitely isn't eating much." Hermione said with a sad voice.
"He will be fine Hermione, trust me I think we will all be alright in time." Ron chimed in.
"I don't know Ron, I mean the man wasn't quite alright before the war." Harry said.
"Honestly, you too need to stop judging the man, that is all he is, is a man, nothing more, nothing less." Hermione lectured.
Back outside the Great Hall, Professor Snape sat on one of the many stone benches that lined the hallway.
He took the perfectly white envelope and rubbed it between his fingers several times before turning it over. He saw the emblem clear as day, and recognized it as his family crest.
A hunter green dragon was encompassed by two fern sprigs, had forever been the symbol of the Snapes. He knew that the letter could only be from one person, a person who he was sure would rather see him dead.
"Severus?" The Headmaster placed his wrinkled hand on the man's shoulder.
"It's from April." He said softly.
"Oh my." The Headmaster said and squeezed Severus's shoulder.
"Have you opened it?"
"No, of course not, why should I, she probably never opened any of my letters." Severus said as he drummed the letter against his hand.
"How can you be so sure about that?"
"She never responded."
"Maybe she needed some time."
"Time? I'll give her bloody time, 17 years of waiting, and trying to forget." Snape hissed.
"You have to consider the events Severus, the circumstances were not of the best nature." At this Severus scoffed.
"I shall leave you now, if you need someone to talk to, my door is always open." Dumbledore got to his feet and looked at Severus.
Severus slowly got up and made his way to his rooms. April Snape, well perhaps she was known as April Winters, no matter, Severus knew that she wanted nothing to do with him, she made that clear when even Albus Dumbledore's letter to her merited no response. The seal indicated to him that she was in fact alive, and that she had written this letter.
Severus Snape reached into his desk drawer and withdrew a small jade pensive. The silver liquid swirled in a fast pace. He placed his wand in the liquid and drew the specific memory to the top and stopped swirling. Taking a deep breath, Severus dove into the pensive.
[Severus was standing in the middle of a familiar room, it was the Malfoy manor, the living room to be more specific, and he was 17 years younger.
"Severus, have you taken care of the child?" Lucius Malfoy asked casually while swirling a glass of brandy.
"You make her sound like a piece of merchandise!" He growled.
"Well, you told the Dark Lord that she meant nothing to you? Are you telling me you have feelings for the child? I am growing tired of reiterating to the Dark Lord that you are in fact detached from the girl."
"I am her father, and her mother died, what am I to do, send her to an orphanage?"
"I don't see why not, the girl's mother was a whore."
"Isabelle was not a whore!" Snape roared. At this Lucius knew he had gone to far and ignored the previous events.
"Well, you certainly can't keep her, you know how the Dark Lord feels about this." Lucius drawled.
"I know, I think an American wizarding family has agreed to take her, I am to deliver her tomorrow."
"Good the sooner the better. Honestly Severus, one drunken night with her mother, and one week with the girl can hardly count as any kind of relation."]
At this Severus drew himself out of the memory and laid his hands on his forehead.
"April Snape, have you written a letter condemning your father of his sins?" He spoke out loud to himself as he placed his finger under the seal and broke it open.
Severus lifted the pretty decorative paper out of the envelope and read out loud the contents of the letter.
"April Morgana Snape and Andrew David Lewis would like to announce that they are engaged to be married on July 18th 1998. You are cordially invited to share in this happy occasion with the new couple at Hampton Downs in Yorkshire. Please enter through the alleyway in between the hardware store and Lewishams department store."
His eyes widened with each word, his daughter was getting married. He figured that she would be 22 by now, and he figured the invitation was more of a courtesy, than an actual invite to his estranged daughter's wedding.
After reading the invitation he noticed that there was something else in the envelope, so he placed the invitation on his desk and removed the letter.
"Dear Severus,
I don't really know where to begin, it seems odd that after years of composing a letter to you in my head, that I am now lost for words. I suppose your first thought is why? Well, as you have probably seen by now, I am getting married this summer, and thought that it was only right to invite you.
I have received every single one of your letters, and yes I did read them, but no I was too angry to ever respond. I was angry at you, at Dumbledore, and at the whole situation."
Severus felt like his heart was ripping open and found like that there was not enough oxygen in the room. This he confessed was truly worse than the Cruciatus curse.
"I always made up these silly scenarios in my head when I was younger thinking, well maybe if you weren't working for Dumbledore, and if you loved me enough that you would come take me home with you. As I got older and I knew that Voldermort was gone, I was sure you would come, but I again waited in vain. When I was 10, I received your first letter. I must admit that after reading it I set aflame with my anger. I was young and selfish, as all children are. Funny, I blamed myself, I always blamed myself."
"How could you blame yourself, it was always my fault, I told you that it was my fault, and that nothing could ever make up for my decision." Severus yelled at the piece of paper. He read on:
"As I entered school I forgot about you, my friends said it was best, they said I didn't need you and your poor excuse for leaving me. I was a teenager and thought myself invincible, but as my teen years ended I found that I was wrong. Sitting at my graduation, seeing all of my friends with their families, and I with my foster family, who were more than kind, but not the same. I saw them sharing, laughing and crying with them, and I realized that I would never have that, all because I was so angry, so angry with you.
That was the first time I wrote you a letter, but you did not receive it, for it is now lining a landfill. I read it and felt that it could not express hurt, the sadness that I was feeling. I met my fiancŽe, he said that I should forgive you, and in my heart I knew he was right, but I still felt too much anger.
You're probably wondering then, why I am now able to write to you with no ill will or hatred. I must confess that I have seen you since you dropped me off with that American family when I was 5 years old. I shall recount the events as I remember them as best I can.
It was this past winter, I had come to England to complete my training as a International Liaison to the Ministry of Magic from the States, when I saw you."
At this Severus's eyes widened. She had seen him, why on earth didnÕt he recognize her.
"You were entering through the floo network when I saw you and Albus Dumbledore walking quite swiftly to the front desk. You were weak, I saw you falter. You leaned quite heavily on the desk for support. You and Dumbledore headed up to the Minister's office, and I decided to follow you. I was in fact in the same elevator you occupied.
You reached the door, I stayed back and overheard you two talking as you were waiting for Fudge to open the door."
Severus recalled the conversation.
["Severus, what on earth were you thinking, you could have very well been killed last night." Albus spoke.
"I had no choice, if I hadn't have gone to the meeting, he would be at Godric's Hollow right now scourging the place for residue of the ancient magic that saved Potter the first time."
"We could have dealt with it Severus, I told you from the beginning, nothing is worth your life."
"Well, then I supposed that I broke that promise 17 years ago when I left my daughter at the house of a stranger's."]
"I must admit no matter how many time I had read a similar reason in your letter, nothing got to me more than hearing you say that I was your life, even after 17 years. That moment meant more to me than you will ever know.
I wanted to say I am sorry, I know that we have both made mistakes, but I hope that if you come to my wedding, we can start again, and forget the pain that we have caused ourselves, and each other.
I would like nothing more than to share this day with you, because I never knew how little happiness you have seen, and when you always said in your letters that I was the last bit of happiness in your world I never took that seriously until now.
Forever yours,
April M. Snape
Severus felt like crying, and that was saying a lot for a man who never wore his emotions on his sleeve. He was truly touched.
He placed the letter on his desk and took out a mirror that was in his top drawer. He looked into it and saw her. Much like the mirror Sirius gave to Harry, Severus had left one in his daughter's possession before leaving her. She never learned what it was, for she never asked for him, but Severus had used it several times he had never forgotten her, and always wished that things would have turned out differently, but now for the first time Severus felt like he was getting a fresh new start, but first that would mean meeting her face to face, along with her fiancŽe.
Severus placed the mirror back into the drawer and quickly jotted a note and sealed it with the same crest that April had used, and called for the black owl. What did the note say?
A simple "I love you" was all, but that filled the pages of a broken past for April.