Chapter 15- Too Close to Home

A/N: Once again, thanks to those who reviewed! Those few words really mean a lot to me.
I'm sooo sorry it took me so long to update. While I know (at least mostly) where this is going, I'm having trouble deciding how to get there. I've actually written several chapters, only to decide I need to write something else first.

Chris, thanks, you made a good point... though I don't think Rack was human. Anyone know? Hmmm...

********************** Summary: ***************************

Chapter 1: Sunrise: Buffy rescues Spike. It's sunrise, so he'll have to remain there for the day. As she leaves the cave and heads home, Buffy ponders life without Spike.

Chapter 2: Home Sweet Home: Buffy returns to her home only to be attacked by the Potentials. Somehow, the First, in Buffy's form, has convinced them that the real Buffy is the First in corporeal form. Buffy is, naturally, upset that the Potentials and her friends could believe that. The First leaves after a bit of taunting.

Chapter 3: Wheatabix, Blood and a Blanket: Buffy searches for these things (plus a first aid-kit) so she can go help Spike. She talks with Xander, who tells her that Willow was called to LA. As she leaves, she tells him that Spike is a good man, and that he should try and realize this.

Chapter 4: Nightmares and Memories: Buffy returns to the cave, bag o' supplies in hand, to find Spike having a nightmare, and nearly hurting himself in his thrashing about. She wakes him. Despite his protests, she bandages him and gives him blood.
Inadvertently, her thoughts lead her to Willow's Let my will be done spell' (Something Blue). She (finally!) realizes that Willow's spell was only that she and Spike should marry, not that they should be in love. Unfortunately, she says some of this out loud and Spike hears her.

Chapter 5: Rain Check : Buffy tells Spike she doesn't know what her feelings are for him exactly, and asks for a rain check on the heavy, serious stuff till after they defeat the First. He agrees. Buffy fills him in on what's been going on while he's been gone. They then fall asleep, side by side (Awww! ;o)

Chapter 6: A Long Talk in a Damp Cave: Basically, a big long talk between Buffy and Spike about forgiveness. She says that she needs his forgiveness for what she did to him last year, which of course surprises him. Buffy admits that he did some good things even when soulless, like taking care of Dawn. By now it's sundown, so they set out for home.

Chapter 7: Coming Home: Buffy and Spike head home. Halfway there, Spike asks Buffy if she really thinks he can be a better man. She replies that he already is a better man. They arrive home, unexpectedly finding Riley sitting in Buffy's living room.

Chapter 8: Leading to a Talk: Spike accuses Buffy of not telling him about Riley, then realizes she really didn't know. Xander offers to help Spike (gasp!). Dawn, Anya, and Andrew leave Riley and Buffy to talk.

Chapter 9: Catching up with the Ex: Riley informs Buffy that Spike's chip may not be working, so he needs to be staked. She refuses, informing Riley that Spike has a soul. Riley goes to stake Spike. Spike figures out that Sam was turned and Riley had to kill her. Then the three hear Xander scream.

Chapter 10: Old Friends: Angel appears, with Xander explaining that last he heard, he was Angelus. Faith and a mystery boy (Connor) show up. Lots of confusion as to whether or not people are to be trusted. An insane Riley fights Spike till Buffy rescues him. Spike looks at Angel, says he has a soul. Angel realizes Spike has a soul. Angel vouches for Faith's trustworthiness. Buffy calls a Scooby meeting.

Chapter 11: Scooby Snacks: Willow returns. At the Scooby meeting, General Buffy concludes that, thanks to the extra muscle, they can branch out, send some people over to Xander's. Angel says he's not staying. Buffy decides that Xander will take Riley, Faith, Anya, and Andrew, plus some SIT's. Angel takes Spike upstairs, while Buffy and Faith go outside to talk.

Chapter 12: Popping Like Warm Champagne: Faith apologizes, saying she knows she can never be forgiven for what she did. Buffy tells her the same thing she told Spike, also listing all of the Scoobies who have killed in the past, but have changed now.
Faith and Buffy fight some vamps. Faith asks Buffy about Spike, and Buffy asks Faith about Angel. Buffy ends up explaining the whole ripped out of heaven' thing, as well as her former relationship with Spike.

Chapter 13: Sleeping Together: Buffy thinks about Spike, and the dangers of getting too close emotionally, to him or others. She sleeps by his side, in her bed. Xander comes in the morning, and goes off on her for sleeping with Spike. Anya informs him that they slept together, but didn't have sex together. Xander sheepishly asks Spike if they can talk later.

Chapter 14: Leave it to a Former Vengeance Demon: Xander comes home and complains to Anya about having to talk to Spike. She explains to him that his leaving her at the alter was, in some ways, worse than what Spike did to Buffy.
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Buffy slammed the door behind her and heaved an exaggerated sigh. Once again, she bitterly thought, Home, sweet home. After the day she'd just had, all she wanted to do was rest and relax in the silence, maybe take a bubble bath, and then sleep for several days straight. But could she? Nope.

Stupid responsibilities, she grumbled silently. With a shake of her head, she forced herself to think about all the things she needed to do.

She walked into the kitchen to find the Potentials (plus Dawn) sitting around, eating, gossiping, and making a mess.

They quieted down as they saw the Slayer. Her sister stood up to greet her. Hey Buffy, whatcha doin' home so late?

Buffy groaned. Principal Wood. Wanted to talk to me. Man, that guy's weird. Either he's evil, or insane, or... or something. She abruptly changed the subject, not wishing to discuss her weird meeting with the Principal. So what did you girls do today? Buffy asked, turning to the Potentials.

Kennedy (whom Buffy had already discovered tended to be rather bossy and take-chargey) spoke up. We trained for a while with Spike, but he's still pretty beat up from the First torturing him.

The girls shifted uncomfortably. Buffy couldn't decide whether this was due to the fact that Spike was an incredibly strong, formerly evil, vampire- or the reminder that the First had beaten up this inhumanly strong being.

All right, well, you girls up for some real fighting tonight?

Buffy was hoping for a rousing chorus of yes'es; instead, she got a few murmured yeah's, a couple really quiet no's' and a loud I'm ready,' from Kennedy.

Great. Just great. Girls who could (potentially) have to save the world are a bunch of wimps. Well, Kennedy's not a wimp, just overconfident. Maybe Willow can keep her ego under control. Speaking of which...

Hey, where's Willow?

Dawn replied, I think she and Connor are talking somewhere about some of his experiences or something.

The girls giggled at the mention of Connor's name. Buffy personally didn't see the appeal, but then again, maybe she was just weirded out by the fact that she had dated his father.

Dawn added, I think Spike's downstairs.

Buffy nodded her thanks and headed down after admonishing the girls to clean up after themselves, and reminding Dawn to do her homework. Poor Dawn... having her house invaded, dealing with high school on the Hellmouth, an apocalypse...

She sighed. Thinking of the high school had reminded her of a girl she'd dealt with today. The girl's problems had struck a little too close to home. The girl, Amy, had lost several people she'd loved. About a year ago she lost her parents, whom she'd been very close to, and had to move in with her grandmother.

After her parent's deaths, she became incredibly dependent on her boyfriend Ron, in an unhealthy way. From what Buffy heard, Ron was an OK guy, and really did love Amy. However, he encouraged her dependence on him rather than urging her to seek therapy since he didn't want to lose her.

How their slightly twisted relationship would have ended was a mystery, never to be solved. Ron had gotten drunk one night, and drove smack into a train.

Amy had been very bright, getting very good grades and participating in many extra-curriculars. After her parents died, she cut back on the extra-curriculars, but still managed to keep up her grades. She'd been hoping for a scholarship to U.C. Sunnydale.

But since Ron's death two months ago, Amy had all but dropped out of life. Her grandmother had managed to get her to go to school occasionally, but she did no work. She was about as close to being in a catatonic state as you can get without actually being in one. She moved, she ate, she breathed, but she didn't live.

Not surprisingly, Buffy had been unable to reach her. But Amy's case had given the school counselor much to think about. She'd lost her dad, Angel, Riley, her mom, and Tara. She'd survived most of those with the help and support of her friends. When she'd killed Angel, she dealt with it by going to hell, but had crossed out that method of recovery for the future.

The time she'd thought she'd lost Dawn, she'd shut down so completely that Willow had to enter her mind and find her.

With this new apocalypse shaping up to be the worst yet, she knew she might lose more of her friends. Yet she also knew that she, as General Buffy, could not afford to shut down or run away again.

So in the free time she had between talking to students, Buffy thought. She thought about the past, she thought about her friends, family, and lovers she'd lost, she thought about the future, she thought about it all.

After all her thinking, she came to one simple conclusion: she couldn't allow herself to be emotionally close with anyone. It was a thought that had occurred to her the night before with Spike. It had felt way too good to sleep at his side. She decided he was going to sleep in the basement from now on.

And it looked like perhaps he'd already anticipated her request. He understood her like no other. It was really quite nice, having someone around who understood her- No! Not nice. Thinking Spike's understanding me is nice leads to bad, emotional stuff. So, no, not nice. Huh-uh. Nope. I don't want to be understood...

Her silent, internal diatribe against herself continued as she made her way down the stairs, towards the vampire who understood her- which was totally not a good thing...


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A/N: Sorry this is so short and un-interesting. Look for more talk and little action in the near future (sorry for those of you who enjoy the action part, but I'm better at writing the talking stuff I guess!). Anyway, more soon, I promise!