Damaged- This is the second part of the series.

(Lyrics from TLC's 'Damaged' off of their CD '3D')

I know I'm kinda strange, to you sometimes

Don't always say, what's on my mind

You know I've been hurt, by some guy

But I don't wanna mess up this time

Amy laid back on the bed, closing her eyes and hoping that maybe she could get some sleep.  She wasn't all that tired, she just didn't really want to think about what was going on in her life at the moment.  Then again, she knew Rob would be back from the gym soon and she'd have to think about what he'd told her earlier that day.  She had been thinking back to Matt and she had gotten pretty upset.  At first Rob said nothing, simply holding her and rocking her back and forth until the tears subsided.  Afterwards though, he had a few things to say.  He hopped off the bed and pulled her up, kneeling in front of her as she sat on the edge.  He told her he didn't want her thinking of Matt anymore, that "the bastard does not even deserve your thoughts."  He said that she shouldn't worry about the past or the future, because all that she had was the present.  Then, he'd told her something that surprised her, something she most certainly wasn't expecting.  She thanked him again for all he'd done for her, this time asking why he did it.  He looked away before answering, almost like… almost like he was being shy.  This was RVD, Mr. Monday Night… Amy couldn't recall a time in her life where she'd seen him nervous.  That was when he said it.

"I… I help you because you deserve so much more than what you're getting Ames," he said, making brief eye contact with her.  That wasn't what surprised the redhead… she had heard that many times before.

"But… why?  What do I deserve?" she asked.  His gaze softened even more, and he looked away again, suddenly eyeing his shoes.  She eyed him questioningly and waited for him to answer.  It was his answer that surprised her so much.

"You deserve someone who will treat you like a queen… the way you should be treated.  Someone like… well, someone like me," he said in a tone so quiet you could almost call it a whisper.  He looked up at her for a brief moment, just so he could see her reaction.  When he looked into her hazel eyes, he saw confusion.  Pulling away from her, he stood, mumbling something about going to the gym.  Even as he was walking out the door she still sent him that look.  I knew it was too soon, he thought dejectedly.  He hadn't meant to spring that on her, but at the moment it just seemed right.  The words just flew out of his lips with no warning whatsoever.

Now, Amy wasn't confused anymore.  Still surprised, but no longer confused.  He had feelings for her.  That's what he was trying to say… *he* wanted to be the one to treat her like a queen.  *He* was what she deserved… someone who would love her and take care of her.  How could she have never seen it before?  Every time she was down, he was always the one there to pick her up.  He wanted them to be together.  If only giving herself to her would be that easy.  As much as Amy wanted to be with Rob, she had doubts.  Not with him, but with herself.  She was so afraid of her past ruining their relationship.  Maybe Matt wasn't physically around anymore, but he was still in her mind.  She couldn't just forget all the pain he caused her.  She desperately wanted to be with Rob, but she didn't want to mess things up either.

And I really really really care

And I really really really want you

And I think I'm kinda scared

Cause I don't want to lose you

If you're really really really there

Then maybe you can hang through

I hope you understand

It's nothing to you

She heard the door creak open and she opened her eyes.  Rob walked back in, tossing his gym bag onto the floor.  He slowed down when he saw Amy laying down, thinking maybe she was sleeping.  He crept over to her, jumping slightly when he saw that her eyes were open.

"I'm sorry Ames… go back to sleep," he said quietly, thinking he'd woken her up.  Amy shook her head, sitting up and gripping his forearm.

"I wasn't sleeping… I was just thinking.  And waiting for you to get back… we need to talk," she said.  Rob winced, knowing right away why she wanted to talk to him.

"Look Amy, about what I said earlier…"

"Rob, don't.  Just listen, okay?" she requested.  He nodded, sitting down on the bed when she slid over and patted the spot next to her.  "Okay, I thought a lot about what you said… actually, it's all I've been doing since you left for the gym.  You're right, I do deserve better than what I got with Matt.  I want someone to treat me better, treat me like I *deserve* to be treated.  I… really think I want you to be that somebody Rob."

"Amy, I'm sorry for… what?  You do?" he asked, hoping his mind wasn't playing any tricks on him.  He could have sworn she said she wanted him to be with her.  Amy sent him a small, coy smile.  Placing her hand on top of his, she grinned.

"Yes.  I… I think you might be the person I'm looking for Rob.  You've always treated me like a queen.  There… there's just one thing though," she said, searching his face for an expression.

"What is it?" he asked curiously.

"We have to take things slow… I'm not ready to jump into a full fledged relationship.  I-I'm going to need some time to get used to this.  I hope you don't mind… I want you to be okay with it," she answered.  Rob's eyes widened slightly at her.  Do I mind?  She's crazy if she thinks I'd do anything to ruin this chance.

"Of course I'm okay with it.  Amy, I'll give you all the time in the world if that's what you need.  I promise you, I will never do anything to hurt you.  I'm going to treat you like the queen that you are," he said, taking her hands in his.  He looked down at them for a moment, eyeing in awe the size difference between them.

"You already treat me like a queen Rob.  Just promise you won't get discouraged by my attitude… I know I'm a little much to manage right now, but I'll get better, I swear," she said, smiling softly at her.

Rob grinned, nodding his response.  Then, he lowered his head to hers, kissing her lips softly.  He went to pull away, not wanting to put too much on her too fast.  To his surprise, she cupped his face in her hands and kept him there, gently sliding her tongue over his lower lip.  He thankfully accepted her invite and slid his tongue into her mouth.  As Amy sighed against him, she hoped to God that she wouldn't annoy him away with her paranoia and trust issues.  She sensed, however, that he understood what she was going through, and that he was truthful when he said he'd wait for her.

My heart's at a low, I'm so much to manage

I think you should know that I've been damaged

I'm falling in love, there's one disadvantage

I think you should know that I've been damaged

About a week later, Amy sat once again in her and Rob's hotel room.  She wasn't on the house show that night, so she just stayed at the hotel.  She wanted to be alone for a little while anyway.  She sat on the bed, holding Rob's small suitcase in her hands.  He'd always brought two with him.  One had all his clothes, which she saw him unpacking and repacking all the time.  The other one, however, she never once saw him open.  He only used it when she was out doing an appearance or something.  She couldn't help but wonder what he had in the bag.  After being with Matt, she had been suspicious of everything she couldn't see plainly.  She felt guilty about going through his stuff, and deep down she knew he wouldn't hide anything to hurt her, but still… it was her nature to be curious.  After all, if it was "nothing important," as he'd always called it, why not just show it to her?  It made her wonder.  Amy slowly undid the zipper on the black bag, opening it curiously. 

Reaching inside, she pulled out whatever it was that was on top, instantly feeling guilty for looking at all.  What she picked up was a notebook, and when she opened it, she could see that it was comic sketches and stories.  Amy knew how into comics Rob was… he never let anyone see any of them until they were completely done.  Okay, all it is a comic book… stop digging through his shit.  Her conscious was screaming at her to respect his privacy, but her heart and her mind never did work together before, and they weren't planning on starting anytime soon.  As she dug through the bag, she found more and more notebooks, all of them filled with stories, drawings, even a few poems.  What do you know… cool, calm Rob Szaktowski is a poet.  Amy cursed herself for thinking that, even though she did find it cute.  She felt around through the bottom of the bag, stopping when she felt something.  It was too small to be a notebook, and with the texture and shape of it… it felt like a picture frame.  Her heart stopped, wondering if maybe he had a picture of his 'other' girlfriend in there.  She pulled out the picture and felt the tears fill her eyes.  Tears of guilt… the picture was of her and Rob.  You're a bitch Amy… how could you not trust him?  She cursed herself mentally, and then went to put the picture back in the bag, but a voice stopped her.

"What are you doing?"


She gasped, dropping the frame when she looked up to see Rob standing across from her.  "I-I… I'm sorry Rob," she said, lowering her head.  As much as he understood why she would look through his stuff, it still hurt him that she didn't trust him enough.

"Amy?  What… why are you going through that?" he asked, unable to shield the hurt look from his eyes.  Amy lowered her head again, this time in shame.

"I… I don't know.  I thought maybe… I don't know Rob, you just… you never let me look in it.  I was just wondering what was in there that you had to hide from me," she said.

"Well, I guess now you understand," he said, eyeing her plainly.  She knew how protective he was over his comics until they were finished.  He wanted to be mad at her, but he just couldn't.  He knew it wasn't her fault.  "Amy, honey, what is going on with you?  Did you honestly think I would ever hide anything bad from you?"

"No… I guess not.  I'm really sorry Rob," she said, a tear slipping down her cheek.  Rob caught it with his index finger, wiping it away.

"Don't cry Red… I'm not mad.  I… I understand why you'd be suspicious," he said, sitting next to her and wrapping his arm around her.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I might look through your stuff, for what I don't wanna find

Or I might just set you up, to see if you're all mine

I'm a little paranoid, from what I've been through

Don't know what you've gotten yourself into

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Amy," Rob called out into the darkness.  Amy stirred out of her half-sleep, turning to face him under the covers.

"What is it?"  she asked, eyeing him in the darkness.  He looked away from her, that shy look taking over his face again.

"I, um… I have to tell you something," he said timidly.  Amy began to panic… what if he wanted to tell her he couldn't wait?  What if he wanted to end it because he couldn't handle being with her?  She just got him… she didn't want to lose him now, after all she'd been through.

"W-what is it?" she repeated, this time her voice a little shakier.

"Well," he started, taking a deep breath.  "I know we've only been together for a little over a month, but I've felt like this for awhile now.  I never thought I'd be the guy to want to be in a serious relationship… until I met you.  You bring out a side of Rob Szaktowski that the world never gets to see.  At first, it scared the hell out of me… I didn't want to feel so strongly about someone.  But now, I'm starting to like it.  This new feeling, I really like it.  I… I guess what I'm trying to say is…" he trailed off.  You what?  Spit it out!  Amy's mind was working a mile a minute now. 

"You're trying to say?" she said, encouraging him to continue.  He made eye contact with her again, that nervous look still present in his eyes.

"I… I love you Amy."

And I really really really care

And I really really really want you

And I think I'm kinda scared

Cause I don't want to lose you

If you're really really really there

Then maybe you can hang through

I hope you understand

It's nothing to you My heart's at a low, I'm so much to manage

I think you should know that I've been damaged

I'm falling in love, there's one disadvantage

I think you should know that I've been damaged

Okay, there's the second part.  I think there's really only going to be one more part of this series.  Let me know what you think!