Chapter 24: The Talk

Buffy began, let's talk.

I can't believe- the wounded vampire started, before he was interrupted.

Excuse me, lemme rephrase that. I'll talk, you'll listen.

Spike once again started to protest, but she cut him short, saying, You can talk all you want later... much later, since you still need to heal.

He glared angrily up at here for a moment, and then he closed his eyes and nodded his head reluctantly, well aware that the Slayer would get her way in this, sooner or later; might as well be sooner.

Besides, as reluctant as he was to admit it, he was feeling a bit weak, though the Slayer blood coursing through his system was helping him heal more quickly than usual.

As Buffy tried to figure out where to start, she gently began playing with his hair, careful to keep away from where he was wounded.

Feeling her fiddling with his hair went a long way towards reconciling Spike to this situation, although he was still upset about the matter of her forcing him to feed on her. He actually shook as he remembered that, but the Slayer's fingers helped calm him down.

Finally, Buffy began, deciding to go backwards, chronologically speaking.

I know you're upset with me for making you drink my blood...

Seeing him about to interrupt yet again, she continued quickly. But I had to. You were out cold, for a long time, and I was so scared... she said softly. Admitting that she was afraid wasn't easy for her, and thinking about that time when she thought he was dead certainly didn't help.

As if sensing her thoughts, Spike managed to reach one hand up to press gently against her cheek. Buffy leaned against it briefly, taking comfort, before taking his hand with her free one and laying it back at his side, with a gentle squeeze.

She continued. You lost a lot of blood. Between the staking, the slash at your side, and the head wound... I knew you weren't dead, since you weren't dust, but I wanted - no, needed- you to wake up.

He perked up at this admission. This is certainly encouragin'! Though with the way th' Slayer goes hot and cold, ya never know... Next second she might be screechin' at me...

But no, she went on in the same soft tone. So, you needed blood. Which I have a lot of. And I know, from previous experience, the healing power it has for vampires.

Spike growled quietly at the reminder of his grandsire.

Buffy heard the growl, but ignored it. I-I guess now that I think about it, there's probably some blood with the rest of the supplies.

The prone figure nodded.

But I wasn't. Thinking, I mean. Anyway... look, Spike, this was my decision to make, ok? I don't regret it, and I don't want you to, either. I trust you; you're not going to get all blood-lusty on me now just cause you had a taste of me... of my blood, I mean.

How do you know I'm not going to go all blood-lusty' on you?

The Slayer felt the urge to smack him, and had to remind herself that they were communicating verbally now, not physically. Were you listening to me? she snapped. I said I trusted you, ok? Just... deal with it. I don't really see what your problem is, anyway.

Don't see what my problem is? Buffy, one of the things the First liked to torment me with was images of me sucking you dry... It kept telling me how much you wanted me to, how much I wanted to...

But those weren't real! Buffy protested.

See, that's the thing, Slayer... I do want to...

Instead of running away in horror, as Spike had figured she would, Buffy paused to reflect. But you never would. It was a statement, not a question. You're a vampire, Spike; it's natural - well, natural in a supernatural kind of way - for you to want to drink my blood.

Spike was surprised to see that she understood. She was right; it was natural for him to thirst for her blood. Having had a taste of it, however, made it just that much more difficult to deny his desire.

But he couldn't be mad at her for making him drink her blood, not really, because it showed how much she cared, how worried she was. In a way, he almost didn't mind the comparison to her feeding Angel, since he knew she'd done that out of love...

Out loud, however, all he said was, Fine, I'll deal. Go on, what else? Spike sensed that there was more to be said.

Taking a deep breath, she told him. The First came to me. In your form... after the fight, after I'd seen you get staked... and I thought you were dead, and then it came to me, looking like you, and saying these awful things...

Spike reached up as best he could to calm the distraught Slayer. Buffy began crying, automatically choking back her tears.

Buffy, luv... it's just me here. Let it all out.

Amazingly enough, she did. She sobbed, resting her head on his less-injured left side. He managed to raise a hand, caressing her hair and murmuring, That's it, pet, that's right. It's ok to cry...

I-I was j-just s-so scared! she hiccuped.

Her words of a moment ago came back to him, as he asked, You thought I was dead?

He felt her nod against him. It was awful...

As heart-wrenching as it was for Spike to see Buffy in pain, he knew that in the end, this was a good thing... provided she didn't try and pretend it never happened. But he couldn't remember ever seeing her really be this open, allowing this much emotion to show. He wasn't really surprised that it would be with him that she could open up; after all, she'd gone to him when she needed someone to talk to after being ripped out of heaven.

After a few more minutes, she started to calm down.

Feeling better now, luv?

She nodded, and sat back up. Thank you... for everything.

Spike just smiled up at her, silently telling her, It was my pleasure.'

Clearing her throat, Buffy said, There's more I have to tell you.

She preceded to tell him everything that had transpired, including seeing him be staked, her rage and the fight following that, and the hurtful words the First had spoken to her. She ended with: You were right. My emotions do make me stronger. I kicked some serious vampire ass after seeing you staked... And then later, when I realized it was the First, it was so awful, but I still held it together when I needed to.

Her vampire smiled again. In some ways, it felt as though Buffy was truly alive for the first time since being raised from the dead.

They sat there for a moment in pleasant silence.

Yawning, Buffy broke the spell. I think it's about time we got some sleep. Looking around, she saw some of the bedding. There was enough to make one pallet. Getting up reluctantly from Spike's side, she brought the bedding over to where Spike lay and set it up there.

Carefully, she helped Spike onto it, sliding in after him. Buffy curled up as best she could against him, keeping carefully away from where he was injured. Besides the one time in the cave, after rescuing him, Buffy had never really allowed herself the luxury of relaxing here, by his side. Falling asleep with him was so pleasant.

Like a big teddy bear... or safety blanket. Yeah, that's it; he's my big safety blanket... she giggled softly at her thoughts as she drifted into sleep.

Spike followed her soon after. Being slashed, staked, thrown into a wall (at least, that's how he presumed he got his concussion), and dealing with his love's emotional outburst had drained him. But he decided that, all in all, that night had been a success.

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A/N: Thank you all so much for your reviews; I'm not sure if this chapter would have ever been written w/out them! Sorry it took so long to get out and is so short. My stupid muse has decided to take a vacation... sigh... don't worry though, she promised she'd be back soon.