[At the supermarket]

Alex: So, ya in any relationships? Other than your Queen of Hearts, that is.

Race: It's not the Queen of Hearts that gets me off, it's that sexy assed Queen of Spades. *realizes what he just said* Aw, shit, don't repeat that.

Alex: So are you saying that if I dressed up as the Queen of Spades I would get you easier than I can right now?

Race: *nods* Yup.

Alex: Man, that's just messed up. *hands the cashier money*

Race: Well, don't you have one thing you just find amazingly sexy in your life?

Alex: *grins* Short guys. Sometimes pirates, but mostly short guys. *looks down pointedly* Course, they also have to be big. Get my drift?

Race: Mind if I grab some whipped cream? It can be very useful in certain situations. *wink* ((a/n: omfg, whipped cream!!! man, good times, good times))

Alex: Miss of Spades' favorite?

[In the parking lot]

Cap'n Jack: This isn't the docks, eunech!

Will Turner: If I'm a eunech, then how have I managed to get Elizabeth pregnant?

Cap'n Jack: That was me. And the rum.

Will Turner: Oh yeah, good point.

Alex: *walks out of store* Oi, who goes there?

Race: Where the hell did that come from??

Alex: What, its just fun! *evil grin*

Race: *olls eyes* And you say I'm odd.

Will Turner: Name's Turner, Will Turner. And that's Jack Sparrow.

Cap'n Jack: CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow. Why else would my little name thing on the script say "Cap'n."

Will Turner: What script?

Cap'n Jack: *Pulls script from large vest pockets* This script. See, "Cap'n Jack" *points* So it's captain, savvy? *flips ahead in script* Someone's getting action tonight. Ah, they've been drinking rum. Of course.

Alex: *astonished* Rum? At my party? *shrugs* Oh well. I could use a margarita. Or five. Well, seeya.

Cap'n Jack: *points to script again* Wait, it says here you're supposed to invite us to your party!!

Alex: I knew I was forgetting something!

Race: Dumbass.

Alex: Did I hear something, card boy?

Will Turner: Did someone say cards? *twitch* I like cards!! That Queen of Spades, she's a looker!

Race: I know!!

Alex: Just shoot me.

Cap'n Jack: I already used my last shot, sorry.

Alex: *throws up hands* Bloody pirates! *looks around* You got a car?

Cap'n Jack: Fastest car on Royal Lane! *points to some sort of all-white sports car* I call it... The White Diamond!

Race: *staring with Will at the cards in his hand* Daaaamn, she's fine.

Alex: *grabs cards* That just ain't healthy. Now get in the car, we're leaving.

Will Turner: *tries to get cards unsucesfully* But, but, but!

Cap'n Jack: Aw, hush, ya eunech. Where's ya house?

Alex: Go straight on Royal and take a right onto Meadow then go till Thackery, turn, go two blocks, and turn right.

Cap'n Jack: How 'bout I just find my own way, savvy?

Alex: As you wish.

[Back at the house]

Slider: Can I interest anyone in some snog and strip?

[Crowd draws around here]

Slider: Jono, where's that bottle of rum you were drinking all night in an attempt to be sexy like Jack Sparrow?

Cap'n Jack: *walks in door* Nah, mate, to be sexy, ya gotta have the eyeliner. Alex, where's your make-up, we're gonna get this boy set up.

[One hour later]

Curt Wilde: Dude, that's hot.

Fingers: Aw, not you. Man, you scarred my virgin eyes with Arthur.

Curt Wilde: Tough. That boy over there is hot. Reminds me of my rock n' roll lover.

Jono: What the hell did you do to me, scallywag. *grabs mirror* I'm more fucking glam than David Bowie!!! It's like Elton John in the 70s!

Alex: Have you been watching "I love the 70s" on VH1 too? *notices blank stares* What? It's a good show! I was alive in the 70s! Okay, so maybe I wasn't. But I had an easybake oven!!

Jack: Race, what happened to this girl?

Race: That's what happens when you mock the card fetish!

Will Turner: Yeah, man.

DISCLAIMER: Cap'n Jack & Will Turner belong to Disney (though Jack does spend a lot of time in my closet). Curt Wilde belongs to whoever has the rights for Velvet Goldmine. Race & Jack belong to Disney as well (Disney has a thing for hot guys named Jack, I'm telling you!) Jono, Sli, and Fingers belong to themselves. I own myself, and almost all of the humor in this. Fingers belongs her reaction to Curt, since she had severe issues after watching VG, which I really still have yet to see.

SHOUTOUTS:

Since I deleted this off my other account, I don't have my reviews, so I apologize if I'm forgetting you (and I probably am).

Aurora: *New reviewer dance* *Gets dizzy* *Lands on Bowie!Jono and kisses him* Glad you like it. Hope you still do.

Frenchers: Aw, man. Skitts/Frenchy is the best pairing ever. LOL. Well, best hetero pairing after Race/Spark & Spot/Sli.

Sli: Of course you should have gotten a shoutout. But I'm an idiot, so you didn't get one.

I know there's another review, and I apologize profusely to that person. Please forgive me and still review this chapter!!