By The Insanities
~*~*~*~
The End of the Universe~*~*~*~
Jynethe tentatively poked the tentacle with her fork, while Finarfëwen glared at her plate as she said, "What the hell is this?"
The waiter had brought their meals to them when Reg and his Combo had started playing again. Unfortunately what he brought was three plates of a bubbling, purple tentacled mass with what appeared to be lettuce leaves sticking out of it. However all three Insanities were suspicious enough to trust the fact that it probably wasn't lettuce.
"So this is what a Hemallect is," Mithborien said as she leant back from her plate in disgust.
Finarfëwen looked up. "We didn't need to know that."
"We really didn't need to know that," Jynethe commented then shrieked as a tentacle slipped of her plate.
"Yeah well whose fault is that," Finarfëwen shot back. "You were the one who ordered this crap."
"Not on purpose. I would rather starve than eat this."
"Same here," said Mithborien as she dumped her plate into a conveniently nearby palm tree.
"Again, weren't you the one who wanted a decent meal here?" Finarfëwen asked with a tilt of her head.
Mithborien froze, and then abruptly her eyes lit up. "There's always desert."
"Amen," said Jynethe, also tipping her plate into a palm tree.
Finarfëwen looked at both of them for a second then shrugged and threw her plate over her head, winced as she heard it crash with someone or something's head and their resultant scream of outrage. Luckily she was saved from having to own up to the deed by the reappearance of Max onstage again.
"Now, ladies and gentlemen," he said with a flourish, "is everyone having one last wonderful time?"
A resounding cheer of yes resounded from the audience.
"That's wonderful," exclaimed Max. "Now as the photons storms gather in swirling crowds around us, preparing to tear apart the last of the red hot suns, I know you are all going to settle back and enjoy with me what I know we will all find an immensely exciting and terminal experience."
"Terminal?" Finarfëwen hissed.
"Shoosh," Mithborien hissed as well. "It's only his act."
"Believe me, ladies and gentlemen," Max continued. "There is nothing penultimate about this one."
He paused. "This really is the absolute end, the final chilling desolation, in which the whole majestic sweep of creation becomes extinct. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the proverbial 'it'.
"After this," he said, lowering is voice to a deathly intonation, "there is nothing. Void. Emptiness. Oblivion. Absolute nothing…"
Max's eyes glittered as he looked around at his spell bound audience.
"Nothing… except of course for the sweet trolley, and a fine selection of Aldebaran liqueurs!"
The band did a little music sting as the audience laughed.
Mithborien nudged the other two. "See," she said. "Sweets!"
"And for once," Max cried cheerily, "you don't need to worry about having a hangover in the morning – because there won't be any more mornings!"
The audience laughed again as Finarfëwen said, "I am so down with that."
"And now," he said as he swaggered along the stage, "at the risk of putting a damper on the wonderful sense of doom and futility here this evening, I would like to welcome a few parties."
"Now let's see, I think we have a couple of special guests here tonight." Max pulled a card out from inside his jacket. "Ah yes, here again I see. Do we have a party of minor deities from the Halls of the Asgard?"
To his right a rumble of thunder announced a flash of lightning, which illuminated a small group of hairy men with helmets who raised their glasses to Max.
"Asgard?" Finarfëwen's were wide open. "Did he say Asgard?"
"Yeah," replied Jynethe.
Finarfëwen looked towards the group of minor deities and back to her friends. "Those aren't the Asgard. The Asgard are little grey men, not little hairy men."
Mithborien looked equally confused. "Maybe it's the Asgard when they pretend to be gods to fool the lesser races. Like on that planet, remember?"
"No," Jynethe said.
"Possibly," said Finarfëwen. "Still rather suspicious."
"And now do we have…' Max continued his welcoming. "Are Insanities here with us?"
All three Insanities froze as their name was read out.
"Huh?" said Finarfëwen and Jynethe together.
"Well where are they?" Max asked again.
Mithborien tentatively raised a hand. "Uh, over here," she called out.
"There we are," Max said, returning the wave. "Still insane as ever, we've all heard of you three."
"Uh, yeah sure," Mithborien replied. "Some things never change."
"Indeed," Max replied with a grin then turned to another part of the audience.
"We've all heard of you!?" Jynethe inquired.
"You heard him," Finarfëwen said."
"How? Only we have heard of us."
"I guess that changed in the future," Mithborien said slowly. "Cause he knew who we were."
"Don't you mean are?" Jynethe asked.
"No, were. Past tense remember."
Max meanwhile had returned to the centre of the stage and sat upon an artfully placed stool. "It's marvelous, you know," he continued with his commentary, "to see so many of you here tonight. Absolutely marvelous, because I know that so may of you come here time and time again, which is simple wonderful, don't you think? To come and watch this final end of everything and then return home to your own eras… raise families, strive for new and better societies-"
"Whatever," scoffed Mithborien.
"-fight terrible wars for what you know to be right… it really gives you hope for the future of all life kind. Except of course," he gestured at the blazing turmoil above, "that we know it hasn't got one…"
Directly above the Insanities and all around them, the sky burst into multitudes of various horrors.
Finarfëwen and Jynethe were all staring at it riveted, however Mithborien was twisting her neck behind her to stare at a group of people weaving their way through the tables with a slight frown on her face.
Distinctly she heard their conversation waft over to her.
"… what about the End of the Universe?" Arthur Dent complained. "We'll miss the big moment."
"I've seen it. It's rubbish," said Zaphod Beeblebrox, "nothing but a gnab gib."
"A what?"
"Opposite of a big bang. Come on let's get zappy."
"Hey, wasn't that…" Mithborien's question trailed away as she realized the other Insanities weren't listening properly.
"Yeah," said Jynethe.
"Whatever," said Finarfëwen.
"An interesting effect to watch for," Max, meanwhile was telling them, "is in the upper left-hand quadrant of the sky, where if you look very carefully you can see the star system Hastromil boiling away into the ultra-violet. Anyone here from Hastromil?"
There was a slightly hesitant cheer from the table next to them.
"Well," said Max with a cheerful grin, "it's too late to worry about whether you left the gas on now."
Mithborien chuckled slightly to herself, shrugged and leant back in her chair to watch the universe end, for the god knows how many time.
It was really g-