CHAPTER 6
Work was strained.Scott barely looked at Kane
who tried his hardest to do as much work as possible , whilst remaining
invisible.Alf had come in and said that they should try getting on with the
work until some sort of arrangement was come to which would make them more
comfortable. They all knew that this would probably all be down to Dani in the
end and her ability to tolerate or not tolerate the situation .It was true that
she had matured a lot in the two and a half years since the attack, especially
in the past year when she had almost become a second mum to her younger sisters
and Max.But even so , it was a lot to ask to put up with Scott her boyfriend
working with Kane her rapist.She had been so hurt that Kirsty had loved him ,
had felt that her sister had betrayed her and now it was happening all over
again.She could not believe it when she found out that the bloke Scott had
raved about in such glowing terms and had obviously liked was Kane Phillips.How
could anyone like him , how could anyone love him , if she only knew it it was
the same question that Kane asked himself almost every day. Alf had asked Dani to come in and discuss the situation,Kane had made
himself scarce not wanting to upset anyone.He was expecting the worst
anyway,whatever Alf Stewart had said Kane reckoned he would be out of a job.
Alf explained that they had signed a contract with Kane and as a man of his word
Alf was not keen to break a binding contract.They might have to wind up paying
Kane compensation , after all he had left a good job to come here.And it had
taken them ages to find the right guy for the job.Dani understood all that ,
but she still needed to know why he had chosen to come back at all.Why couldn't
he have just stayed away for ever.Alf explained about Kane's aunt,but Dani
still wasn't comfortable with the situation.Alf asked her whether she might
consider this an opportunity to perhaps totally put the past behind her, how
what might seem an awful situation might turn out beneficial.Dani considered
this, she had after all sought Kane out in the past , hoping that mediation
would ease the terrible feelings that the assault had left her with.She
remembered how hard the mediation had been , but it had helped.She knew that
prior to the mediation Kane had felt that she was at least partly to blame ,
that she had lead him on , and then cried rape.But after the mediation he did
realise it was his fault ,this in turn helped her to cope and even when he had
turned up at the house unexpectedly determined to apologize ,she had not felt
the same degree of fear or dread as before.Maybe Alf was right , maybe it was
the opportunity to have closure ,and put the rape behind her and move on with
her life.She would never forget it , she would probably never forgive him for
it , but it might just make a difference to her future , a future with
Scott.Dani thought long and hard before she finally spoke.
"I wish he had never come back , but as Alf
says maybe it is an opportunity to lay some ghosts to rest.I won't feel
comfortable on my own around him , but it's your boatshed and I know you need
the help.I hate to admit it but he does sound good at his job and it will mean
more time for me and Scott together.But if I find it too weird I need to know I
can rely on your support and understanding that it is going to be very hard for
me to deal with him being around.I don't even want to think about the situation
with him and Kirsty,I'll deal with one thing at a time.If you really need him
to work for you at the boatyard and take the ship out for you then I won't
stand in your way.But if I decide that I need some sort of mediation with him
to cope with that then he will have to cooperate."
"Wow! Dani ,I am so proud of you.That can't
have been an easy decision to make.I'll make sure he totally keeps out of your
way.He'll be out on the boats mostly anyway , that's why we needed someone with
a master's ticket.And if you want to go for mediation ,baby, we'll make sure he
does it.It's the least he can do.We'd better go and tell him , before he thinks
he's out of a job and skips town,because that's the other thing that I was
worried about , if he leaves town Kirsty'd probably go with him."Scott hugged
Dani.
"I know",sighed Dani , "And that's what hurts
so much."
Kane was relieved that he still had his job, he needed stability if he was going to
look after Kirsty.He hadn't been able do that when they had run off together ,
but this time he would look after her and provide for her, try to be good
enough for her.He had become used to being shunned over the years , it had been
good in his last job , noone knew his past and he had been able to make
friends,but he was happy enough working with the boats on his own as if Scott
wasn't there.Scott found it hard he would go to say something to Kane and then
stop himself , as though being friendly to Kane would be a betrayal to Dani.If
it hurt then Kane never showed it , and he basically kept his head down got on
with his work and never complained.There were a few sticky moments , Scott felt
the need to find fault and criticise , more because he was feeling the pressure
of the situation than out of anything petty like spite.He wanted to show his
solidarity with Dani by finding nothing good to say about Kane , and jumping on
the smallest thing he might do wrong.Luckily for Kane he genuinely loved his
job so much that he had learnt his trade well and made few mistakes , and just
being out on the boats was such a joy to him that he didn't really notice, or
if he did he just let it go.After all he was used to criticism and at the end
of the day he was to blame , he had hurt Dani.
Kirsty was finding it hard at school too.She
was ostricised by her little clique of friends, she had always shared in their
jokes and recess was now boring and lonely.
At first they hid their problems from each
other , each not wishing to hurt the other, or cause the other to worry.Kirsty
was concerned that if Kane thought she was unhappy he might decide that she
would be better off without him and leave her again.She couldn't bear that.And
Kane worried that Kirsty might think badly of him if he complained , so at
first they didn't share their problems.
12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-US'Slowly as their confidence in each other and in
themselves grew they began to share their troubles and to their amazement it
actually brought them closer together.
"I've decided to take your advice", Kirsty
announced over dinner. "If my old friends don't want to know me then that's
their problem , I'll just make new friends.I don't care how long it takes , but
I'm not going to give up until I've made at least one new friend , and then
I'll make another and so on.And when I'm the most popular girl in the school
they'll wish they'd been nicer to me!"Kane was so glad to see her laughing and
joking about it.All he wanted was for Kirsty to be happy, so happy that she
wouldn't want to leave him.
"Well I've got all my boats at work they love
me," Kane laughed "I'm not that bothered about what Scott thinks of me
anymore.It's a shame cos we were mates there for a while , but hey , we both
knew this thing wouldn't go away and I still really feel deep down that Dani
will forgive you .Obviously she's always gonna hate me but hey so long as she
gives you a chance that's all that matters.I think that Jade'll be cool if you
give it time and Max is OK with you anyway.Me and my brother had massive blues
, he's put me in hospital,nearly killed me , I've testified against him in
court but he's my family and I still go up to that flaming prison to see him.Mind you he is a total head case!"
Kirsty hugged him , it always gripped her heart
when he talked about his family , hers had been such a normal , happy childhood
compared to his.She hated to think of the abuse and suffering he went through,
he'd only ever talked about it that one time,when they were shipwrecked, but
every now and then he said something that made her realise just how lucky she
was .She remembered the day she first said she loved him,he'd told her then
that noone had ever told him that before not even his parents,it just made her
love him more.
It was not all doom and gloom as far as
acceptance in the community went.The first friend Kane made was a scruffy
little mongrel dog that took to following Kane around.He didn't encourage it ,
worrying that it might belong to someone, but wherever Kane went the little
mutt followed.It slept on the front doorstep and followed him to work .It even
got on board the boats with him .Even Scott was amused by the little dogs
antics and when he didn't see it with Kane one day he asked him where his
shadow was.Not only did the name stick , but it was the first time Scott had
spoken to Kane without it being strictly necessary and funnily enough the
atmosphere in the boat-shed became less strained after that.Kane wasn't sure if
Shadow sensed a kindred spirit in him or what , but after several days of
finding the dog two steps behind him whenever he turned round ,he finally gave
in and accepted that whether he liked it or not Shadow was his and was here to
stay.Ofcourse secretly he was really pleased , he'd always wanted a dog , but
since he'd teased Kirsty when she'd fussed over the cute but ugly mutt , he had
to pretend to be less than thrilled and moaned about how much it was going to
cost to feed it.Kirsty saw through him though and loved him and his shadow all
the more. The second friend that Kane made was Max.And
him a Sutherland!Max was sitting on the beach trying really hard not to cry
.Kane was walking past and did a double take.He recognised Max , but wasn't sure
what to do.He sat on the sand a few feet away and asked,"So what's the matter
with you?"
At first Max was reluctant to talk , he knew
this was Kirsty's boyfriend, he also knew he had done something bad and noone
else liked him.He thought about it and decided that at least if he told Kane
his problem , he knew Kane wouldn't tell anyone , since noone spoke to him.He
told Kane how this kid in his class at school ,called Justin, had made fun of
him and said that his dad didn't love him and that's why he'd sent him to live
with the Sutherlands.Kane felt for the poor little kid , if any one knew what
it was like to not be loved it was him.
"Listen Max ," he said "I reckon your dad must
love you heaps.When I was a kid I used to dream about being sent away to live
somewhere else , any where else.And if my parents had cared anything about me
they would have sent me away so that I could have had a better life.Maybe then
I would have been a better person and not made so many mistakes.But my dad , it
was like he owned me, he wouldn't let me go even when social workers and stuff
tried to make him see how bad it was for me at home .Your dad though he loves
you so much , that even though he'd like to have you with him , he knows it's
better for you to be with your uncle and cousins.That's real love , when you're
not selfish."
Max thought about this and it seemed to make
sense. "Thanks" he said. "Would you really have liked
to have left your family when you were a kid?"
"Yeah, I was always running away .I always
stowed away on boats , don't know why cos they always found me.Then my dad
would do his block, but I still went and did it again.Stupid really."
They both laughed and Max asked about the ever
present Shadow , and the time flew by.Max went home and thought about the guy
he met on the beach and decided that he liked him.
Next day at school when Nick made a snidey
comment about Kane in front of Kirsty ,Max shocked everyone by declaring that
he had talked to Kane on the beach and he thought that he was really cool and
nice and he had a really cool dog and
if Nick didn't stop being mean to Kirsty he wouldn't be his friend!
Jade was so shocked that she accidentally
talked to Kirsty asking her if she knew about Kane's talk with Max.Kirsty
didn't because Max had asked him not to tell any one , because he'd been
crying, and this only elevated Kane in Max's estimation even more.
Before they knew it Kirsty and Jade were
actually having a conversation and when Max revealed what he and Kane had
talked about , Jade had to admit that Kane had handled it well.As they were
talking they found themselves automatically walking to the diner , as they had
done thousands of times on the threshold Jade turned to Kirsty and said
"I'm having a chocolate milkshake , what are
you having?"
They both knew things were not back to normal ,
but there was light at the end of the tunnel and they had made a small step
towards re-building their relationship.
who tried his hardest to do as much work as possible , whilst remaining
invisible.Alf had come in and said that they should try getting on with the
work until some sort of arrangement was come to which would make them more
comfortable. They all knew that this would probably all be down to Dani in the
end and her ability to tolerate or not tolerate the situation .It was true that
she had matured a lot in the two and a half years since the attack, especially
in the past year when she had almost become a second mum to her younger sisters
and Max.But even so , it was a lot to ask to put up with Scott her boyfriend
working with Kane her rapist.She had been so hurt that Kirsty had loved him ,
had felt that her sister had betrayed her and now it was happening all over
again.She could not believe it when she found out that the bloke Scott had
raved about in such glowing terms and had obviously liked was Kane Phillips.How
could anyone like him , how could anyone love him , if she only knew it it was
the same question that Kane asked himself almost every day. Alf had asked Dani to come in and discuss the situation,Kane had made
himself scarce not wanting to upset anyone.He was expecting the worst
anyway,whatever Alf Stewart had said Kane reckoned he would be out of a job.
Alf explained that they had signed a contract with Kane and as a man of his word
Alf was not keen to break a binding contract.They might have to wind up paying
Kane compensation , after all he had left a good job to come here.And it had
taken them ages to find the right guy for the job.Dani understood all that ,
but she still needed to know why he had chosen to come back at all.Why couldn't
he have just stayed away for ever.Alf explained about Kane's aunt,but Dani
still wasn't comfortable with the situation.Alf asked her whether she might
consider this an opportunity to perhaps totally put the past behind her, how
what might seem an awful situation might turn out beneficial.Dani considered
this, she had after all sought Kane out in the past , hoping that mediation
would ease the terrible feelings that the assault had left her with.She
remembered how hard the mediation had been , but it had helped.She knew that
prior to the mediation Kane had felt that she was at least partly to blame ,
that she had lead him on , and then cried rape.But after the mediation he did
realise it was his fault ,this in turn helped her to cope and even when he had
turned up at the house unexpectedly determined to apologize ,she had not felt
the same degree of fear or dread as before.Maybe Alf was right , maybe it was
the opportunity to have closure ,and put the rape behind her and move on with
her life.She would never forget it , she would probably never forgive him for
it , but it might just make a difference to her future , a future with
Scott.Dani thought long and hard before she finally spoke.
"I wish he had never come back , but as Alf
says maybe it is an opportunity to lay some ghosts to rest.I won't feel
comfortable on my own around him , but it's your boatshed and I know you need
the help.I hate to admit it but he does sound good at his job and it will mean
more time for me and Scott together.But if I find it too weird I need to know I
can rely on your support and understanding that it is going to be very hard for
me to deal with him being around.I don't even want to think about the situation
with him and Kirsty,I'll deal with one thing at a time.If you really need him
to work for you at the boatyard and take the ship out for you then I won't
stand in your way.But if I decide that I need some sort of mediation with him
to cope with that then he will have to cooperate."
"Wow! Dani ,I am so proud of you.That can't
have been an easy decision to make.I'll make sure he totally keeps out of your
way.He'll be out on the boats mostly anyway , that's why we needed someone with
a master's ticket.And if you want to go for mediation ,baby, we'll make sure he
does it.It's the least he can do.We'd better go and tell him , before he thinks
he's out of a job and skips town,because that's the other thing that I was
worried about , if he leaves town Kirsty'd probably go with him."Scott hugged
Dani.
"I know",sighed Dani , "And that's what hurts
so much."
Kane was relieved that he still had his job, he needed stability if he was going to
look after Kirsty.He hadn't been able do that when they had run off together ,
but this time he would look after her and provide for her, try to be good
enough for her.He had become used to being shunned over the years , it had been
good in his last job , noone knew his past and he had been able to make
friends,but he was happy enough working with the boats on his own as if Scott
wasn't there.Scott found it hard he would go to say something to Kane and then
stop himself , as though being friendly to Kane would be a betrayal to Dani.If
it hurt then Kane never showed it , and he basically kept his head down got on
with his work and never complained.There were a few sticky moments , Scott felt
the need to find fault and criticise , more because he was feeling the pressure
of the situation than out of anything petty like spite.He wanted to show his
solidarity with Dani by finding nothing good to say about Kane , and jumping on
the smallest thing he might do wrong.Luckily for Kane he genuinely loved his
job so much that he had learnt his trade well and made few mistakes , and just
being out on the boats was such a joy to him that he didn't really notice, or
if he did he just let it go.After all he was used to criticism and at the end
of the day he was to blame , he had hurt Dani.
Kirsty was finding it hard at school too.She
was ostricised by her little clique of friends, she had always shared in their
jokes and recess was now boring and lonely.
At first they hid their problems from each
other , each not wishing to hurt the other, or cause the other to worry.Kirsty
was concerned that if Kane thought she was unhappy he might decide that she
would be better off without him and leave her again.She couldn't bear that.And
Kane worried that Kirsty might think badly of him if he complained , so at
first they didn't share their problems.
12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-US'Slowly as their confidence in each other and in
themselves grew they began to share their troubles and to their amazement it
actually brought them closer together.
"I've decided to take your advice", Kirsty
announced over dinner. "If my old friends don't want to know me then that's
their problem , I'll just make new friends.I don't care how long it takes , but
I'm not going to give up until I've made at least one new friend , and then
I'll make another and so on.And when I'm the most popular girl in the school
they'll wish they'd been nicer to me!"Kane was so glad to see her laughing and
joking about it.All he wanted was for Kirsty to be happy, so happy that she
wouldn't want to leave him.
"Well I've got all my boats at work they love
me," Kane laughed "I'm not that bothered about what Scott thinks of me
anymore.It's a shame cos we were mates there for a while , but hey , we both
knew this thing wouldn't go away and I still really feel deep down that Dani
will forgive you .Obviously she's always gonna hate me but hey so long as she
gives you a chance that's all that matters.I think that Jade'll be cool if you
give it time and Max is OK with you anyway.Me and my brother had massive blues
, he's put me in hospital,nearly killed me , I've testified against him in
court but he's my family and I still go up to that flaming prison to see him.Mind you he is a total head case!"
Kirsty hugged him , it always gripped her heart
when he talked about his family , hers had been such a normal , happy childhood
compared to his.She hated to think of the abuse and suffering he went through,
he'd only ever talked about it that one time,when they were shipwrecked, but
every now and then he said something that made her realise just how lucky she
was .She remembered the day she first said she loved him,he'd told her then
that noone had ever told him that before not even his parents,it just made her
love him more.
It was not all doom and gloom as far as
acceptance in the community went.The first friend Kane made was a scruffy
little mongrel dog that took to following Kane around.He didn't encourage it ,
worrying that it might belong to someone, but wherever Kane went the little
mutt followed.It slept on the front doorstep and followed him to work .It even
got on board the boats with him .Even Scott was amused by the little dogs
antics and when he didn't see it with Kane one day he asked him where his
shadow was.Not only did the name stick , but it was the first time Scott had
spoken to Kane without it being strictly necessary and funnily enough the
atmosphere in the boat-shed became less strained after that.Kane wasn't sure if
Shadow sensed a kindred spirit in him or what , but after several days of
finding the dog two steps behind him whenever he turned round ,he finally gave
in and accepted that whether he liked it or not Shadow was his and was here to
stay.Ofcourse secretly he was really pleased , he'd always wanted a dog , but
since he'd teased Kirsty when she'd fussed over the cute but ugly mutt , he had
to pretend to be less than thrilled and moaned about how much it was going to
cost to feed it.Kirsty saw through him though and loved him and his shadow all
the more. The second friend that Kane made was Max.And
him a Sutherland!Max was sitting on the beach trying really hard not to cry
.Kane was walking past and did a double take.He recognised Max , but wasn't sure
what to do.He sat on the sand a few feet away and asked,"So what's the matter
with you?"
At first Max was reluctant to talk , he knew
this was Kirsty's boyfriend, he also knew he had done something bad and noone
else liked him.He thought about it and decided that at least if he told Kane
his problem , he knew Kane wouldn't tell anyone , since noone spoke to him.He
told Kane how this kid in his class at school ,called Justin, had made fun of
him and said that his dad didn't love him and that's why he'd sent him to live
with the Sutherlands.Kane felt for the poor little kid , if any one knew what
it was like to not be loved it was him.
"Listen Max ," he said "I reckon your dad must
love you heaps.When I was a kid I used to dream about being sent away to live
somewhere else , any where else.And if my parents had cared anything about me
they would have sent me away so that I could have had a better life.Maybe then
I would have been a better person and not made so many mistakes.But my dad , it
was like he owned me, he wouldn't let me go even when social workers and stuff
tried to make him see how bad it was for me at home .Your dad though he loves
you so much , that even though he'd like to have you with him , he knows it's
better for you to be with your uncle and cousins.That's real love , when you're
not selfish."
Max thought about this and it seemed to make
sense. "Thanks" he said. "Would you really have liked
to have left your family when you were a kid?"
"Yeah, I was always running away .I always
stowed away on boats , don't know why cos they always found me.Then my dad
would do his block, but I still went and did it again.Stupid really."
They both laughed and Max asked about the ever
present Shadow , and the time flew by.Max went home and thought about the guy
he met on the beach and decided that he liked him.
Next day at school when Nick made a snidey
comment about Kane in front of Kirsty ,Max shocked everyone by declaring that
he had talked to Kane on the beach and he thought that he was really cool and
nice and he had a really cool dog and
if Nick didn't stop being mean to Kirsty he wouldn't be his friend!
Jade was so shocked that she accidentally
talked to Kirsty asking her if she knew about Kane's talk with Max.Kirsty
didn't because Max had asked him not to tell any one , because he'd been
crying, and this only elevated Kane in Max's estimation even more.
Before they knew it Kirsty and Jade were
actually having a conversation and when Max revealed what he and Kane had
talked about , Jade had to admit that Kane had handled it well.As they were
talking they found themselves automatically walking to the diner , as they had
done thousands of times on the threshold Jade turned to Kirsty and said
"I'm having a chocolate milkshake , what are
you having?"
They both knew things were not back to normal ,
but there was light at the end of the tunnel and they had made a small step
towards re-building their relationship.