Title:What if

Author: Mariedex

Spoilers:After FO, a year in the future.

Disclaimer: The characters in the story are the sole property of Hank Steinberg, Jerry Bruckheimer, and CBS. No copyright infringement is intended.

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Samantha had to make the hardest decision of her life... to leave.

Chapter 2:

Coffee was the first thing on her mind as she stepped off of the elevator. It did not register that voices coming from the other side of the room. Adam stepped up to her and tried to tell her something, but Sam only put her hand up to him. At this moment she only needed coffee and nothing else. Her head was still aching from her screaming child and the guilt that came with walking in the elevator. She then turned from Adam towards her desk, the coffee mugged glued to her lips. It was then when she started to hear the voices, it was definitely Danny and Jack. She turned around and both of them smiled at her. She wasn't quite sure if she smiled back.

Okay I'm confused. She teased at this moment she need to be calm and normal. Like there was no problem with her former boss being in front of her. I am gone for a couple of days. How are you two?

We just flew in this morning. A missing girl case, very reminiscent of one that we just had. Danny said, hoping that Sam wouldn't kill him right there on the spot. He only hoped that it would come later in a more reserved environment. Right now he could put up with her saccharine grin.

I asked then to come down and give us some help. Her boss smiled at her as she said this. Anna knew only that Sam had wanted a transfer and had requested her office. She also knew that there was something else there, but that was something that was none of her business. What she did know was that Special Agent Samantha Spade was a brilliant agent and she was quite curious to met her mentor.

Sorry I have been gone for a couple of days, anyone want to fill me in. Sam replied back, knowing full well that the only thing that would keep her sane at this moment was her work.

Amanda Barns, age 8, went missing 5 hours ago. She was at the park playing with a friend when suddenly she disappeared. Jack began the run down of the case.

And this connects to your case how?

Jamie Michaels, age 8, Greenwich Connecticut was taken two weeks ago from a local park and found murdered three days later. Sara Johnson, age 8, Akron Ohio, was taken 10 days ago. Her body was found 6 days ago. And Norah Smith, age 8, also taken from a park in Evanston Illinois 5 days ago. Her body was found last night.

So we are looking for a serial murderer?

Not necessarily, according to the forensics all of their deaths occurred as a result of exposure. Most likely they tried to escape and didn't know where to go. According to their autopsy they were all being treated very well.

So you think that there is some kind of connection?

The autoposy's revealed similar characteristics, including what they were fed and what they were wearing. Plus all of the girls were taken in a park under similar circumstances, their parents weren't there and they were being watched by a baby-sitter. Jack was very direct in his comments. He always was, especially with this case. They had come very close to catching the guy the first time and the girl still alive, but they hadn't.

Jack handed her the files. Sam tried very hard to concentrate but the situation ion was making it very awkward. Give me a minute to look over these files.

You can look them over in the car. We need to go meet Amanda's parents. Jack was taking the lead of this case. He wanted to work with Samantha. He honestly missed working with her.

Okay, just give me a moment and I will be ready. Shit Samantha thought all she needed was to be in a car with Jack right now. She gathered up the files that had been on her desk and made a quick call. It's Agent Spade, how is she? Good. I am going into the field, but you have my cell if you need. Great. Thanks.

Danny bent over her desk. This was a side of her he didn't get a chance to see much and it always tended to amaze him. She was a mother. Her whole face would light up when you mentioned Ryan. Sorry, I tried to call, but your line was off the hook. Danny mumbled when she got off the phone. He knew Jack was waiting.

I took it off last night. So I could get some sleep.

Her ears?

Yeah. I don't know what to do. Their conversation was short, but to the point. Danny knew that she was facing a dilemma that she was scared off. Ryan's ear infections had become more abundant and there were times when she couldn't hear at all. And the antibiotics were doing very little. They were afraid that she might lose her hearing all together. The doctor wanted to put in tubes but Sam didn't want risk surgery, she was just too young and what if they were jumping the gun, what if the infections stop in a week. She was confused on what to do. Danny knew this. Which is partially when Jack mentioned that Minneapolis needed some help, Danny jumped at the opportunity. He hoped that maybe he could help Sam.

We'll talk. Was all Danny said. That was all he had to say and she was relieved. He had been such a good friend to her. This was just one way.

Jack stepped up behind them. He was ready to go.

See you when you get back. Samantha replied smiling back at Danny as Jack and her walked to the elevator. She proceeded to take one of the files out and begin reading.

The drive up was awkward. Neither of them talked. Everyone once and while, Jack would look over at her as she read her files. Sam was always aware of him, when he did this. Her heart ached a little.

Jack said as he stood in her doorway. Thought that I should stop by and see how you are doing.

I'm good. Coming back to work tomorrow.

I know they both stood in the doorway. The question of whether he was going to come in or not hung in the air.

Doctor says that I should be up and running in no time.

So I hear. A fast recovery.

Um, do you want to come in?



So how are you doing?

Jack replied as he walked into her apartment. He always had loved her apartment. There was something very comforting about it. It wasn't large or empty. It was small and slightly cluttered. There were lots of pillows and art hanging on the wall. Her books were flowing out of her bookshelves into piles on the floor. She was always reading. He found that interesting. He would often wake up at night and find her curled up in a chair reading. She would always look up at him with this smile. She was so content at those times.

When is the trial going to be.

The lawyers think in a couple months. His lawyer is pleading insanity.

Not suprising. Do you want some tea or something?

No, I m good. I just wanted to stop by and see how you were.

I'll be fine.

You know that you did what you had to do. You weren't supposed to be some martyr in there.

I know. I just ...

You just what?

I just keep thinking that there was something else that I should have done.

There wasn't. You were working him on your side, getting him to trust you, to confide in you. You couldn't have done anything to stop the hostage situation. Your job was to try to find out about Sydney Harrison and to keep everyone inside calm. My job was to get you out. He smiled at her.

Thanks for that by the way. She smiled at him slightly and he smiled back.

He brushes a stray piece of hair out of her eyes.

No, really . Thanks for that. Tears start to form in her eyes. She doesn't want to cry, not now, not in front of him. But he sees that in her and pulls her close to his chest and kisses the top of her head. She hears him. She knows that he is crying, she knows. She touches his face while still buried in his chest. His kisses her palm, she can feel the tears.

I wasn't going to let you die in there. I couldn't. He whispers

I was so scared that you would. That you would have no choice. I was trying to be so brave, but I could feel myself slipping. Jack ....

He held her and let her cry. He knew that she had probably not allowed herself to cry like that since the bookstore. She always tried to be so strong.

After what seemed like an eternity, she looked up at him. This was the first time that she had really looked at him. How are you doing?

He smiled at her slightly as she starred intently at him. She always did that, always worried more about him. I'm fine.

Have you been sleeping?

A little.

She touched his face. She could see the worry in his eyes and the exhaustion. You need to sleep.

I can't. She starred at him longer. He never could get away from that stare. He never could lie to her, he never could hide anything from her. If she wanted him to tell her, than that stare would always make him. I'm sorry.

For what?

For all of this. Nashburn told me that I was a petty man because of you. Because I can't let you go Sam.



I can't. I miss you. When I found out that you had been shot all I could think of was that I can't lose you. And that is not fair to you. You deserve better. You don't deserve some petty man.

Jack you're not a petty man.

I had a affair. I betrayed my wife's trust, my family. I felt empty and I wanted something anything to take that away. You were that. I used you, Sam. Yet all I could think of when you were in that store was that I couldn't lose you. I can't keep doing this. I can't keep bouncing around. My loyalty is to my family, Sam. I have two little girls who don't understand why their daddy doesn't live with them. I have a wife who can barely stand to look at me. But what keeps me up at night is you. I need you. But it's not right and it's not fair to you.

Jack you didn't force me. I went into this whole thing with my eyes wide open. I know you. I don't blame you for any of this. If anyone is to blame its me. I knew exactly what was happening and I still went ahead. It was good. She smiled at him and put her hand on his cheek. But you are right, you know. Your girls need you and I can't keep taking that away from you. They need their father and you are such a good father.

She smiled and watched his expression change. It was like somewhere in his head a decision was made. He kissed her forehead. I've missed you. He whispered. I know. Sam replied back. I love you. He murmured as he kissed her lips. She wasn't expecting this, she was expecting to fall in love with him.

That night she swore would be their last night. She made him promise that he would work it out with Maria. He smiled and held her tighter. That night, he devoured her, completely enamored by her. She could tell that he was desperately try to relish every moment, every part of her. And she allowed him to. She didn't even care that her leg ached or that she probably would be bruised in the morning. She didn't even care that they were so careless. It was the last night that they had and she didn't want it to end.

But it did. And they went about their lives acting as if it had never happened. Every once and while though she could feel him starring at her. She wanted to return the stare, but she didn't think that she could maintain her composure, especially after she found out.