I FINALLY got Chapter 10 (this is chapter 10, right? Wait. yes, it is)
typed up! Yay! So now *certain people* *coughCarolyncoughMegancough* will
stop asking me if I've updated chapter 10 yet. No, instead they'll start
asking if I've finished chapter 11 yet, which I do have a good start on.
I'm just kidding you guys! Although I'm not sure if you're reading this.
Seriously, I love you. You motivate me to write. Or something. Yes.
And now for the ultimate irony (or evil, if you happen to fear long words): the scientific word for a fear of long words is sesquipedalophobia. That amuses me more than it should. And by the way, did you know that the word for a fear of urinating is urophobia? Which is amusingly similar to the word that describes a fear of heaven (Uranophobia). Yes, Rhyan and I are finding random phobias on www.phobialist.com. We may be odd, but hell, it's fun.
And to my dearest reviews (I love you all!!!):
Ionuin: Hi Kat! I am SO your number 1 fan. I'm glad you like the story!
Aranel: Of course you can join my We-Love-Glorfindel fan club!! Actually, having Asfaloth eat Arwen isn't a bad idea. I'm sure he won't mind. After all, he had to have her sit on him and yell "Noro lim Asfaloth!" over and over and OVER again.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Tolkien- y or Molly or Row Row Row Your Boat or the game Seven Minutes in the Closet. Yeah, I think that's it. I really, really, REALLY wish I owned Elrohir though. You don't know how happy that would make me.
Flames: um, I just don't really care. Sorry, my creativity's been sucked away. Creativity? Where are you?
The fellowship set off down the river. Laina had her own boat, filled with supplies. "Row, row, row your boat." she sang. She was singing at the top of her lungs, which meant it was also severely out of tune. Everyone winced.
Then the 'river' (which was really little more than a stream) they were on joined the Anduin. The water where they joined was a little rapid- y and Laina soon lost control of her little boat.
She screamed helplessly as the boat she was in swept downstream. Her boat crashed into Legolas', although miraculously neither broke. "Help me!" she yelled as her boat kept going, with her screaming all the way.
Eventually the water calmed down a bit.
"I thought you said you could row!" Boromir accused nastily as Laina regained control of her boat.
"Yeah, in a LAKE," she replied irritably. "You never said ANYTHING about rapids."
"Those were hardly rapids," he insisted.
"Yeah, to you. I, on the other hand, have the strength of a cricket."
"Look," Aragorn interrupted, pointing to the two tall stone statues. "My ancestors. Long have I desired to look upon the remains of my people."
"Oh yeah, the magical giant rock men whose arms switch sides," Laina recognized.
"They do not," Boromir told her with an odd look.
"They do too!" she insisted.
"They are stone. Their arms cannot simply switch sides," he pointed out.
"But they do."
"Honestly! You two bicker worse than we do," Merry piped up, referring to himself and Pippin.
"We don't fight," Pippin told him.
"Yes we do."
"We don't!"
"We do!" While Merry and Pippin had erupted into a mini-fight, they had gone unnoticed by the rest of the fellowship, who were listening to Laina and Boromir.
"I don't CARE if they're stone. They're obviously MAGIC stone, because their arms. Switch. Sides," Laina argued stubbornly.
"You two are worse than a couple of children," Aragorn admonished, desperate for peace.
"And you were the most angelic child to have ever roamed Imladris," Legolas suggested with a slight smile.
"When I was a CHILD, Legolas, not a grown man."
"And what do you think she is?" he asked, with a pointed look at Laina.
" 'M not a child," she insisted. Behind her, Legolas raised an eyebrow.
"Point taken," Aragorn admitted.
"Look," Laina told Boromir with a tone of finality. "When we get a little further downstream, just turn around and LOOK and you'll see their ar-AHH!" Laina was interrupted as the water picked up again and she once more lost control of her boat.
The three boats paddling downstream with another swirling uncontrollably among them was undoubtedly a comical sight. Leoglas let himself relax, ignoring Laina's childish screams. Suddenly something on the far shore caught his attention. He couldn't see anything, but something was amiss, he could sense it. His focus was diverted as Aragorn led them to the shore.
"Um, help would be nice," Laina suggested hopefully. She couldn't help but notice that while everyone else was heading for shore, her boat was drawing closer and closer to the falls. "There's food in here!" she announced. "It would be a shame for it to go over the falls. And, you know, it's be kind of nice if I didn't die BEFORE I was allowed to drive." Finally she lost all composure. "Guys. HELP!" she screamed.
Sighing in amusement, Legolas grabbed her boat and pulled it to shore along with his. A few feet out, however, Laina managed to fall out of her boat without upsetting it. She came spluttering to shore dripping and shivering.
"At least you managed to preserve the food," Legolas couldn't resist commenting dryly. She glared at him, and wrung her chest length blue and brown hair (which had turned navy and black from the water) over his feet.
"We will rest here tonight, and take the eastern shore tomorrow," Aragorn informed them. Legolas looked concerned by this, but before he could say anything, Pippin shrieked.
Everyone spun around. A ringwraith was gliding towards them. Legolas strung his bow while Aragorn and Boromir drew their swords. Gimli hauled out his axe and the four hobbits huddled behind them for protection. Laina frowned.
"B-b-but there's not s-s'posed t-to be a ringwraith h-h-here n-now," she stuttered through chattering teeth.
Right then the ringwraith stumbled slightly over the long, black robe trailing behind it. The black-gloved arms flailed for a moment.
"I have never seen a wraith stumble," Aragorn muttered almost silently. In a flash he had grabbed the wraith from behind and had his sword pressed against its neck. He realized that the robed figure was nearly six inched shorter than himself, much too short to be a ringwraith. "Who are you really?" he demanded gruffly. A muffled squeak was heard. Aragorn ripped off the hood and jumped back in surprise.
"Molly!" Laina yelled, and ran over to hug her friend whose blonde hair was now about chin length. They stood there hugging, squealing, and destroying Legolas' eardrums for a couple of minutes. They finally calmed down and Molly looked at her friend, who was still dripping and had resumed chattering.
"What happened to you?" Molly asked curiously.
"I f-fell in th-the lake," Laina answered sheepishly. "And n-not one of them had the d-decency t-to offer me s-s-something DRY." Molly laughed and handed Laina the cloak.
"Yay!" Laina squealed and wrapped herself in it. Molly was now wearing jeans and a black t-shirt. Her nails were painted metallic purple. Molly looked around. Aragorn was trying to hide behind Merry. Molly burst out laughing and everyone turned to look at them.
"Wow, you're discreet," Laina muttered.
"Don't tell me you're afraid of me," Molly sniffled, pretending to cry.
"Well... no..." Aragorn answered, looking rather embarrassed.
"I'm not afraid of you!" Merry put in bravely. He ran over and hugged Molly's leg.
"Aww, I'm glad SOMEONE'S not afraid of me," Molly said, hugging him back as best she could.
"I'm not afraid of you!" Laina announced.
"Besides you."
"Oh."
"I'm not AFRAID of you. I just..." Aragorn trailed off, not exactly sure where he was going.
"I think it is rather sweet," Legolas remarked innocently.
"It was meant to be!" Molly announced, running over and hugging Aragorn around the waist. "Even elf-boy thinks so!"
"I agree with the elf," Gimli told them stoutly with a grin.
"That's three people who think so!" Laina announced. "Four if you include Molly."
"I'm rather inclined to agree with them," Boromir added, snickering.
"That's five!" Laina announced, for those who couldn't count.
"There's a first. You and Laina agreeing," Aragorn commented dryly.
"Well, you know, when it's something so OBVIOUSLY meant to be, of course they have to agree," Frodo laughed.
"Six." At this point, Merry and Pippin were rolling on the ground and gasping for breath they were laughing so hard. "Yes. I'll take that as seven and eight," Laina decided.
"Sam, tell me you, at least, are on my side," Aragorn pleaded, but he was obviously fighting back a grin.
"Shut up, DARLING," Molly ordered, smacking him with the arm that wasn't around his waist.
"I'm sorry mister Strider, sir, but it seems to me that everyone else is right," Sam told him, obviously not very sorry.
"HA! Now it's unanimous," Laina announced. "Except, you know, for Aragorn. But he doesn't count."
"How do I not count?"
"You just don't. Now shut up. You and Molly were meant to be, and that's that."
"But I don't even know her," he protested.
"Hi, I'm Molly. My birthday's December 1, I'm 15, and I have a dog and a cat. That's good enough for now." The blond smiled at him charmingly.
"You can't make me," Aragorn pouted stubbornly, looking all the world like a five year old. Molly glared at him.
"Oh can't we now?" Laina asked.
"No," Aragorn answered, but he looked more nervous and less sure of himself.
"Oh, Legolas," Laina called sweetly.
"Yes?" he answered with unconcerned amusement.
"Does Aragorn happen to be ticklish?" At this Legolas smiled maliciously.
"You wouldn't dare," Aragorn threatened the elf. Legolas raised an eyebrow.
` "Judging by the look on his face, I wouldn't count on it," Boromir suggested. "And you know, this could be rather interesting..."
"All right, all right, it was meant to be!" Aragorn burst out laughing. Everyone burst into cheers.
"Now go play Seven Minutes in the Closet... woods... whatever," Laina ordered.
"Okay!" Molly agreed, tugging on Aragorn's arm.
"I don't think I like the sound of this," Aragorn protested weakly.
"It sounds rather promising," Boromir laughed. Aragorn groaned.
"Oh shit," Molly cried, looking at her watch. "I have synchro."
"Thank the Valar," Aragorn sighed gratefully. Molly and Laina glared at him. "I mean... uh..." Aragorn spluttered. They continued to glare. Aragorn bent on one knee before Molly, "Until our next meeting I will think of you constantly , my lady fair and true," he proclaimed nobly, clasping her hand. Molly beamed at him. Then he stood and kissed her. Without prompting. And I mean he KISSED her. (a/n: OoOoOoOoO)
Molly disappeared. "We should collect firewood," Aragorn decided, looking slightly dazed. Merry walked a short distance into the woods, looking for wood. "We will take the eastern shore at dusk and head for Emyn Muil to approach Mordor from the North."
"Emyn Muil?" Gimli asked incredulously. He was sitting on the ground beside Pippin, who was eating again.
"Yes," Aragorn told him, pausing for a moment.
"Emyn Muil, an impassable labyrinth of razor sharp rocks?" Gimli persisted. Pippin stopped chewing slowly.
"Enough," Laina interrupted sharply. She looked thoroughly stressed about something. "We don't need you scaring the hobbits half to death. Besides, I'm getting tired of listening to you say "razor sharp" over and over again." They all looked surprised at her sudden change of moods.
"Nightfall will come soon enough. I advise you to rest and recover your strength while you still can," Aragorn suggested calmly to Gimli.
"Rest? Recover my strength?" the latter spluttered. "Pay him no mind, young hobbit," the dwarf addressed Pippin. He then wandered away, muttering irritably to himself.
Legolas came up behind Aragorn. "We should leave now," he warned, looking far off intently.
"No," Aragorn stated flatly. "Orcs patrol the eastern shore regularly. We must wait for the cover of night."
"It is not the eastern shore that worries me," Legolas told him, looking about cautiously. "A shadow and a threat have been growing in my mind. Something draws near, I can feel it." (a/n: Drum roll please. It's Leggy's big line! I could never cut it out, even though I gave him more. Now watch as the rabid Leggy fangirls collectively sigh and pass out at his 'intense manliness'. Or paranoia, whatever you want to call it. :P)
Then they became aware of Laina. She was sitting cross-legged on their feet, meditation-style. Her eyes were scrunched shut, and she was chanting religiously, "I will not destroy the plotline, I will not destroy the plotline." Aragorn and Legolas shared worried looks.
"Are you all right?" Legolas inquired, touching her shoulder.
"I don't know anything!" she burst out, startled. "I don't know he dies!"
"Who?" Aragorn asked quickly.
"Who what?" she questioned cryptically, avoiding the question.
"Who DIES?" he demanded, grabbing her shoulder.
"You're hurting me," she told him. He gripped her shoulder tighter. (a/n: abusive little bastard, isn't he? *cringes as the Aragorn fangirls attempt to kill her* help!) "I don't know!" she yelled, wincing in pain and smacking his arm. "Let go."
Legolas decided to try another approach, since Aragorn's obviously wasn't working. "Do not lie to us," he pleaded softly. "If someone's life is in danger, we must know." To their surprise, she burst into tears.
"But I CAN'T tell you!" she wailed. "I want my Elrohir," she added, sniffling.
"That worked," Aragorn muttered dryly, ignoring the comment about his foster brother.
"And breaking her shoulder would really help," Legolas retorted with sarcasm dripping in his voice.
Merry returned then, dumping some wood on the ground. "Where's Frodo?" came his concerned query as he looked around.
"I know!" Laina yelled. Then she hit her head. "No, I don't, I don't, I DON'T."
Aragorn shook her. "Is Frodo's life in danger?" But she had clamped her mouth shut like a five year old, and refused to say anything.
"We have to do something!" Sam yelled, crawling out of the corner he had been huddled into. "Who knows what's out here!" Aragorn looked around. Everyone was looking to him for direction and leadership. Only then did he realize that Boromir was gone too.
Author's Notes (like, besides the random ones that will occasionally pop up in random and inopportune [and possibly strategic] points during the story): Oooh, a cliffhanger! And in a humour story. Who'd a thunkit? Speaking of which, Cliffhanger is a very good movie. It is. And speaking of movies, I want to see Return of the King! Right now. And I'm sad, because TTT left theatres on Thursday. And I only got to see it three times, and THAT was way back in December. My parents made me stop because they said I was wasting my money. So now I have to wait until it comes out in August on DVD
So review, and let me know what you think! Is it funny?? And should I end it at the end of FOTR and make TTT and ROTK into a separate story, or should it all be joined into one story? Because yes, I am making one of these for all three of the movies, and I don't care if you hate my story or even if nobody reads it. I'm having fun writing it. So HA.
Yaay! My pooter has finally decided to start recognizing Aragorn as a word! It doesn't pop up in spell checks anymore! Not only that, but it actually suggests it if I misspell/type Aragorn. That makes me happy. And it makes me laugh.
And now for the ultimate irony (or evil, if you happen to fear long words): the scientific word for a fear of long words is sesquipedalophobia. That amuses me more than it should. And by the way, did you know that the word for a fear of urinating is urophobia? Which is amusingly similar to the word that describes a fear of heaven (Uranophobia). Yes, Rhyan and I are finding random phobias on www.phobialist.com. We may be odd, but hell, it's fun.
And to my dearest reviews (I love you all!!!):
Ionuin: Hi Kat! I am SO your number 1 fan. I'm glad you like the story!
Aranel: Of course you can join my We-Love-Glorfindel fan club!! Actually, having Asfaloth eat Arwen isn't a bad idea. I'm sure he won't mind. After all, he had to have her sit on him and yell "Noro lim Asfaloth!" over and over and OVER again.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Tolkien- y or Molly or Row Row Row Your Boat or the game Seven Minutes in the Closet. Yeah, I think that's it. I really, really, REALLY wish I owned Elrohir though. You don't know how happy that would make me.
Flames: um, I just don't really care. Sorry, my creativity's been sucked away. Creativity? Where are you?
The fellowship set off down the river. Laina had her own boat, filled with supplies. "Row, row, row your boat." she sang. She was singing at the top of her lungs, which meant it was also severely out of tune. Everyone winced.
Then the 'river' (which was really little more than a stream) they were on joined the Anduin. The water where they joined was a little rapid- y and Laina soon lost control of her little boat.
She screamed helplessly as the boat she was in swept downstream. Her boat crashed into Legolas', although miraculously neither broke. "Help me!" she yelled as her boat kept going, with her screaming all the way.
Eventually the water calmed down a bit.
"I thought you said you could row!" Boromir accused nastily as Laina regained control of her boat.
"Yeah, in a LAKE," she replied irritably. "You never said ANYTHING about rapids."
"Those were hardly rapids," he insisted.
"Yeah, to you. I, on the other hand, have the strength of a cricket."
"Look," Aragorn interrupted, pointing to the two tall stone statues. "My ancestors. Long have I desired to look upon the remains of my people."
"Oh yeah, the magical giant rock men whose arms switch sides," Laina recognized.
"They do not," Boromir told her with an odd look.
"They do too!" she insisted.
"They are stone. Their arms cannot simply switch sides," he pointed out.
"But they do."
"Honestly! You two bicker worse than we do," Merry piped up, referring to himself and Pippin.
"We don't fight," Pippin told him.
"Yes we do."
"We don't!"
"We do!" While Merry and Pippin had erupted into a mini-fight, they had gone unnoticed by the rest of the fellowship, who were listening to Laina and Boromir.
"I don't CARE if they're stone. They're obviously MAGIC stone, because their arms. Switch. Sides," Laina argued stubbornly.
"You two are worse than a couple of children," Aragorn admonished, desperate for peace.
"And you were the most angelic child to have ever roamed Imladris," Legolas suggested with a slight smile.
"When I was a CHILD, Legolas, not a grown man."
"And what do you think she is?" he asked, with a pointed look at Laina.
" 'M not a child," she insisted. Behind her, Legolas raised an eyebrow.
"Point taken," Aragorn admitted.
"Look," Laina told Boromir with a tone of finality. "When we get a little further downstream, just turn around and LOOK and you'll see their ar-AHH!" Laina was interrupted as the water picked up again and she once more lost control of her boat.
The three boats paddling downstream with another swirling uncontrollably among them was undoubtedly a comical sight. Leoglas let himself relax, ignoring Laina's childish screams. Suddenly something on the far shore caught his attention. He couldn't see anything, but something was amiss, he could sense it. His focus was diverted as Aragorn led them to the shore.
"Um, help would be nice," Laina suggested hopefully. She couldn't help but notice that while everyone else was heading for shore, her boat was drawing closer and closer to the falls. "There's food in here!" she announced. "It would be a shame for it to go over the falls. And, you know, it's be kind of nice if I didn't die BEFORE I was allowed to drive." Finally she lost all composure. "Guys. HELP!" she screamed.
Sighing in amusement, Legolas grabbed her boat and pulled it to shore along with his. A few feet out, however, Laina managed to fall out of her boat without upsetting it. She came spluttering to shore dripping and shivering.
"At least you managed to preserve the food," Legolas couldn't resist commenting dryly. She glared at him, and wrung her chest length blue and brown hair (which had turned navy and black from the water) over his feet.
"We will rest here tonight, and take the eastern shore tomorrow," Aragorn informed them. Legolas looked concerned by this, but before he could say anything, Pippin shrieked.
Everyone spun around. A ringwraith was gliding towards them. Legolas strung his bow while Aragorn and Boromir drew their swords. Gimli hauled out his axe and the four hobbits huddled behind them for protection. Laina frowned.
"B-b-but there's not s-s'posed t-to be a ringwraith h-h-here n-now," she stuttered through chattering teeth.
Right then the ringwraith stumbled slightly over the long, black robe trailing behind it. The black-gloved arms flailed for a moment.
"I have never seen a wraith stumble," Aragorn muttered almost silently. In a flash he had grabbed the wraith from behind and had his sword pressed against its neck. He realized that the robed figure was nearly six inched shorter than himself, much too short to be a ringwraith. "Who are you really?" he demanded gruffly. A muffled squeak was heard. Aragorn ripped off the hood and jumped back in surprise.
"Molly!" Laina yelled, and ran over to hug her friend whose blonde hair was now about chin length. They stood there hugging, squealing, and destroying Legolas' eardrums for a couple of minutes. They finally calmed down and Molly looked at her friend, who was still dripping and had resumed chattering.
"What happened to you?" Molly asked curiously.
"I f-fell in th-the lake," Laina answered sheepishly. "And n-not one of them had the d-decency t-to offer me s-s-something DRY." Molly laughed and handed Laina the cloak.
"Yay!" Laina squealed and wrapped herself in it. Molly was now wearing jeans and a black t-shirt. Her nails were painted metallic purple. Molly looked around. Aragorn was trying to hide behind Merry. Molly burst out laughing and everyone turned to look at them.
"Wow, you're discreet," Laina muttered.
"Don't tell me you're afraid of me," Molly sniffled, pretending to cry.
"Well... no..." Aragorn answered, looking rather embarrassed.
"I'm not afraid of you!" Merry put in bravely. He ran over and hugged Molly's leg.
"Aww, I'm glad SOMEONE'S not afraid of me," Molly said, hugging him back as best she could.
"I'm not afraid of you!" Laina announced.
"Besides you."
"Oh."
"I'm not AFRAID of you. I just..." Aragorn trailed off, not exactly sure where he was going.
"I think it is rather sweet," Legolas remarked innocently.
"It was meant to be!" Molly announced, running over and hugging Aragorn around the waist. "Even elf-boy thinks so!"
"I agree with the elf," Gimli told them stoutly with a grin.
"That's three people who think so!" Laina announced. "Four if you include Molly."
"I'm rather inclined to agree with them," Boromir added, snickering.
"That's five!" Laina announced, for those who couldn't count.
"There's a first. You and Laina agreeing," Aragorn commented dryly.
"Well, you know, when it's something so OBVIOUSLY meant to be, of course they have to agree," Frodo laughed.
"Six." At this point, Merry and Pippin were rolling on the ground and gasping for breath they were laughing so hard. "Yes. I'll take that as seven and eight," Laina decided.
"Sam, tell me you, at least, are on my side," Aragorn pleaded, but he was obviously fighting back a grin.
"Shut up, DARLING," Molly ordered, smacking him with the arm that wasn't around his waist.
"I'm sorry mister Strider, sir, but it seems to me that everyone else is right," Sam told him, obviously not very sorry.
"HA! Now it's unanimous," Laina announced. "Except, you know, for Aragorn. But he doesn't count."
"How do I not count?"
"You just don't. Now shut up. You and Molly were meant to be, and that's that."
"But I don't even know her," he protested.
"Hi, I'm Molly. My birthday's December 1, I'm 15, and I have a dog and a cat. That's good enough for now." The blond smiled at him charmingly.
"You can't make me," Aragorn pouted stubbornly, looking all the world like a five year old. Molly glared at him.
"Oh can't we now?" Laina asked.
"No," Aragorn answered, but he looked more nervous and less sure of himself.
"Oh, Legolas," Laina called sweetly.
"Yes?" he answered with unconcerned amusement.
"Does Aragorn happen to be ticklish?" At this Legolas smiled maliciously.
"You wouldn't dare," Aragorn threatened the elf. Legolas raised an eyebrow.
` "Judging by the look on his face, I wouldn't count on it," Boromir suggested. "And you know, this could be rather interesting..."
"All right, all right, it was meant to be!" Aragorn burst out laughing. Everyone burst into cheers.
"Now go play Seven Minutes in the Closet... woods... whatever," Laina ordered.
"Okay!" Molly agreed, tugging on Aragorn's arm.
"I don't think I like the sound of this," Aragorn protested weakly.
"It sounds rather promising," Boromir laughed. Aragorn groaned.
"Oh shit," Molly cried, looking at her watch. "I have synchro."
"Thank the Valar," Aragorn sighed gratefully. Molly and Laina glared at him. "I mean... uh..." Aragorn spluttered. They continued to glare. Aragorn bent on one knee before Molly, "Until our next meeting I will think of you constantly , my lady fair and true," he proclaimed nobly, clasping her hand. Molly beamed at him. Then he stood and kissed her. Without prompting. And I mean he KISSED her. (a/n: OoOoOoOoO)
Molly disappeared. "We should collect firewood," Aragorn decided, looking slightly dazed. Merry walked a short distance into the woods, looking for wood. "We will take the eastern shore at dusk and head for Emyn Muil to approach Mordor from the North."
"Emyn Muil?" Gimli asked incredulously. He was sitting on the ground beside Pippin, who was eating again.
"Yes," Aragorn told him, pausing for a moment.
"Emyn Muil, an impassable labyrinth of razor sharp rocks?" Gimli persisted. Pippin stopped chewing slowly.
"Enough," Laina interrupted sharply. She looked thoroughly stressed about something. "We don't need you scaring the hobbits half to death. Besides, I'm getting tired of listening to you say "razor sharp" over and over again." They all looked surprised at her sudden change of moods.
"Nightfall will come soon enough. I advise you to rest and recover your strength while you still can," Aragorn suggested calmly to Gimli.
"Rest? Recover my strength?" the latter spluttered. "Pay him no mind, young hobbit," the dwarf addressed Pippin. He then wandered away, muttering irritably to himself.
Legolas came up behind Aragorn. "We should leave now," he warned, looking far off intently.
"No," Aragorn stated flatly. "Orcs patrol the eastern shore regularly. We must wait for the cover of night."
"It is not the eastern shore that worries me," Legolas told him, looking about cautiously. "A shadow and a threat have been growing in my mind. Something draws near, I can feel it." (a/n: Drum roll please. It's Leggy's big line! I could never cut it out, even though I gave him more. Now watch as the rabid Leggy fangirls collectively sigh and pass out at his 'intense manliness'. Or paranoia, whatever you want to call it. :P)
Then they became aware of Laina. She was sitting cross-legged on their feet, meditation-style. Her eyes were scrunched shut, and she was chanting religiously, "I will not destroy the plotline, I will not destroy the plotline." Aragorn and Legolas shared worried looks.
"Are you all right?" Legolas inquired, touching her shoulder.
"I don't know anything!" she burst out, startled. "I don't know he dies!"
"Who?" Aragorn asked quickly.
"Who what?" she questioned cryptically, avoiding the question.
"Who DIES?" he demanded, grabbing her shoulder.
"You're hurting me," she told him. He gripped her shoulder tighter. (a/n: abusive little bastard, isn't he? *cringes as the Aragorn fangirls attempt to kill her* help!) "I don't know!" she yelled, wincing in pain and smacking his arm. "Let go."
Legolas decided to try another approach, since Aragorn's obviously wasn't working. "Do not lie to us," he pleaded softly. "If someone's life is in danger, we must know." To their surprise, she burst into tears.
"But I CAN'T tell you!" she wailed. "I want my Elrohir," she added, sniffling.
"That worked," Aragorn muttered dryly, ignoring the comment about his foster brother.
"And breaking her shoulder would really help," Legolas retorted with sarcasm dripping in his voice.
Merry returned then, dumping some wood on the ground. "Where's Frodo?" came his concerned query as he looked around.
"I know!" Laina yelled. Then she hit her head. "No, I don't, I don't, I DON'T."
Aragorn shook her. "Is Frodo's life in danger?" But she had clamped her mouth shut like a five year old, and refused to say anything.
"We have to do something!" Sam yelled, crawling out of the corner he had been huddled into. "Who knows what's out here!" Aragorn looked around. Everyone was looking to him for direction and leadership. Only then did he realize that Boromir was gone too.
Author's Notes (like, besides the random ones that will occasionally pop up in random and inopportune [and possibly strategic] points during the story): Oooh, a cliffhanger! And in a humour story. Who'd a thunkit? Speaking of which, Cliffhanger is a very good movie. It is. And speaking of movies, I want to see Return of the King! Right now. And I'm sad, because TTT left theatres on Thursday. And I only got to see it three times, and THAT was way back in December. My parents made me stop because they said I was wasting my money. So now I have to wait until it comes out in August on DVD
So review, and let me know what you think! Is it funny?? And should I end it at the end of FOTR and make TTT and ROTK into a separate story, or should it all be joined into one story? Because yes, I am making one of these for all three of the movies, and I don't care if you hate my story or even if nobody reads it. I'm having fun writing it. So HA.
Yaay! My pooter has finally decided to start recognizing Aragorn as a word! It doesn't pop up in spell checks anymore! Not only that, but it actually suggests it if I misspell/type Aragorn. That makes me happy. And it makes me laugh.