Chapter Five

Sitting in muddy water,

Isn"t such a bad life,

If it ends after the first time….

Yoko Kanno: The Real Folk Blues

"We"re lost in the freezing snowy woods," Seifer said, "and the only dry clothing we have between us is one blanket. Look, I don't suppose we could…."

"No chance."

"I was going to say, "We could huddle together for body warmth." But if you like, we can get out of our wet clothes and you could let me…..."

"Not another word," interrupted Quistis. "I'd rather freeze." She turned her back on Seifer. There was the sound of ripping fabric. "Have half."

Seifer caught the blanket in his face. He glared at Quistis suspiciously. "Trepe, did you give me the small half?"

"Shut up and go to sleep! We"ve got our sleeping bags. You won"t freeze. Unfortunately," she added.

He muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "fucking ice bitch" over his shoulder but she rolled over and ignored him. It was freezing cold despite her gear. Hyne, how had Seifer survived so long out here? She'd never taken him as the kind of person who loved to spend time in the woods: cut Seifer down the middle and he"d have 'city boy' written all through him like a stick of beach rock. There weren't enough people to notice him in the country. She decided to ask. "Seifer? Are you awake?"

She knew he wasn't. She could see him in the darkness; lying on his back and staring up at the roof of the tent.

"I am now."

"How did you find enough to eat out here?"

"Why"re you asking?" he shot back. "Don"t tell me you didn't pack any food."

She sighed. "Of course I did. A good SeeD always plans ahead."

"A good SeeD? Trepe, how would you know?"

"How would you know, Seifer? You didn't even make SeeD."

"What is there to eat? Trees. Monsters. Rabbits. Us. Are you going to go to sleep and leave me alone or what?"

But he was still lying on his back, staring at the ceiling, when she finally drifted off into a restless and uneasy sleep some hours later. It was very dark; a freezing and heavy blackness that resonated with the sound of cracking trees and wind in the branches and the rustlings and squeals of small nocturnal creatures. Maybe he just slept with his eyes open. Maybe she didn't care.

Some hours later Quistis woke to the sound of drifting snow and dull grey dawn light seeping through the tent. There was the faintest glow above the horizon to the east.

Seifer was finally asleep on the other side of the tent. He was curled away from her and she could just see the blinking red eye of the transmitter in the base of his skull.

He looked different when he was sleeping, younger, more vulnerable and without his perpetual wary glare. She'd seen him watching her, not in a particularly threatening way, or even a lecherous one, but like he was waiting for her to make a mistake. She didn't quite know what he would do then. Maybe he'd just run in the opposite direction and then get a really bad migraine.

Quistis thought how young he really was, how young they all were. She could almost forget that he'd tried to give Rinoa to the sorceress, kill all of them and help take over the world. Maybe he'd been under a spell, some kind of magic or mind control or threats, or maybe it was just as simple as her offering him all he'd ever wanted, and him not having a good enough reason or enough sense to turn her down. He'd acted like a jerk the last few times she'd met him during the Sorceresses War, but then, from what she could remember he'd also acted like a jerk the whole time she'd tried to teach him, too.

Quistis sat up in her blankets and sleeping bag, shivering as the cold air rushed into her little cocoon of warmth. She was itching all over. Bugs had been in the tent during the night. She was itching all over. Maybe she'd caught them off Seifer. She directed a venomous glance at Seifer. He shifted in his sleep and muttered something unintelligible. His feet were sticking out of the bottom of his ripped sleeping bag and without thinking she flipped her half of the blanket onto his legs to cover him.

What the hell do you think you're doing? I was fucking trying to sleep!"

"I was just…checking to make sure you were all right." Her excuse sounded lame, even to her ears.

"Worried about your precious prisoner, Instructor?

Quistis sighed. Just five seconds awake and already he was getting on her nerves. "No thanks to you. Gennady told me just what you were spending your time doing in Marduk. Hyne knows, Seifer, you"re not making this any easier for me. Do you know just how many people are out looking for you right now? I should think if they ever catch up with us it'll be a competition to see who gets to tear you apart first!"

His voice was still slightly rough with sleep. " What the hell did you expect me to do, Trepe? It's not like I know how to do anything else.

Her voice was a whisper. "You could have been a bodyguard…..damn, didn't they need burger flippers? Soldiers? Why didn't you just do everyone a favour and just die? Why did you have to kill more people?"

Seifer snorted. "Listen to yourself, Trepe. You're a fucking mercenary. Mercenaries. Kill. People."

"Not for fun!"

"I didn't kill people for fun! It was a job. What do you care anyway? You never met them."

"You're a callous bastard," she spat. "It would have been easier if you'd died in Time Compression."

He slumped back."You"re probably going to get your wish because you"re never going to get us through here. We"re so screwed. It's a pity you won't be alive to enjoy it and do your dance of effortless fucking superiority on my gravel. Who do you think you are, my fucking conscience?" He coughed and spat, narrowly missing her shoes.

She gave him a disgusted glance. "We better pack up."

Seifer squinted at the sky. "We should be a day ahead of their scouts. Why don't we lie up today and then try to slip past them tonight?"

"We have to keep moving. If we don"t we"ll miss the transport. And I certainly don"t intend to spend any more time than I have to getting there."

"Can"t wait to see my head on a spike?"

"I don"t care where it is as long as it's away from me," she spat. She turned away from him and went out into the woods to wash up. The sun was just rising and her shadow was long against the ground. The light was blindingly bright but provided no heat. She wondered why any sane person would choose to live in this wilderness?

The snow melted as she scrubbed it over her face. Meltwater soaked her cuffs. If the snow had any dramatic licence, it would have boiled while Quistis mentally composed a list of all the things that were Seifer's fault.

Her righteous wrath was slightly disarmed when she reached the edge of the clearing and found that he"d already packed up the tent.

Seifer threw something at her and she ducked, reflexively.

"Little jumpy today, Trepe?"

"I can't imagine why." She turned, hunting in the grass for the ration bar, and picked it up, pulling her gloves off with her teeth.

Seifer looked puzzled. "Whatever."

She sighed."I don"t trust you." Damn, these ration bars always tasted the same. Great, as long as you liked five different flavours of exquisitely nutritious, vitamin and mineral balanced cardboard. Plastic crackled under her gloved fingers and she carefully stowed the wrapper in her pocket. There was no use advertising to everyone they were here by dropping litter.

"Why not?" Seifer said. "I'm hurt."

"Three guesses."

"Um, trying to destroy the world, trying to destroy the world and trying to destroy the world. Looks like you should have stayed at home. With all the people you can trust."

"So they should have sent somebody else. Tell Squall that when you get back to Garden. And talking of getting back, if you're quite packed up, we should be going."

Seifer took one look at Quistis' face and shut his mouth. Fine. Like he cared about her problems. And if he pissed her off he was just going to get a headache again and the light off the snow was hurting his eyes enough as it was.

I should have run last night, Seifer thought as he picked up his bag and adjusted the straps. But he hadn't, because there was nowhere else to go."Do you know where we are?" he asked.

She pulled the map out from a side pocket and unfolded it carefully. "Here"

Seifer squinted at the map. "I don't think so. We came from this place, not there. If you look carefully, the contours look the same. I think we just came up this bit. Right between the little green squiggles there and the little red line here. We only walked for three hours last night. We're not as far ahead as you think. Walking here's different. You have to go round trees and things. You're just thinking we're walking as the crow flies."

"Says the person that spent geography lessons drawing pictures of chicks with huge…"

"I've changed!."

She sniffed. "You could have fooled me."

"Any time. But we're still lost"

"We have a map. We"re not lost. We might not know right where we are right now. But we're not lost. Yet"

"Typical. No one with a map admits they"re lost," he said.

It might have made Seifer feel a little happier to know that, in fact, they were both wrong.

Some time later….

The light shone off the snow. Quistis was painfully aware of just how good a target they made outlined sharply against the thin white carpet. But there was no sound, just the quiet sounds of feet crunching of snow and the occasional curse from Seifer up front as he slipped on a rock or stepped through the frozen ice hiding a puddle. They were safe, for the moment.

Seifer had been surly all morning, snarling at the slightest question and going through his last packet of cigarettes like a pimp in a nunnery. After a couple of hours of that, Quistis snapped and yelled at him to shut up, or speed up, or for Hyne's sake stop blowing smoke in her face. Seifer just smirked and sniped back at her, Quistis got angrier and threatened; Seifer more defensive and sullen, and they'd ended up not talking. Quistis shot evil glances at Seifer' s back as she tried to decipher the map. Seifer walked in front, breaking the trail and following Quistis' shouted directions.

It was hard work, despite the maps and Seifer's small knowledge of the area. The sketches Gen had drawn were good but the snow covered everything and made the smaller trails harder to find. Quistis wasn't even sure they were on the right path. She wasn't even sure they were on the right mountain.

There were also faint tracks in the snow which were bothering her. She knew that they were bothering Seifer too, though he pretended not to notice. She'd seen him staring at them thoughtfully, one hand slipping under his coat for the weapons that were no longer there and then reaching for cigarettes and lighter.

"Do you think it's a good idea to smoke around here?"

Seifer ignored her.

"There's monsters around. I know you"ve seen them."

No answer.

"It"s getting into the freeze. They should be pretty hungry. You know the SeeD protocols. Nothing to make a sound or leave a scent."

He sighed and shouted at her over his shoulder, arms swinging as he navigated a particularly treacherous piece of rock. "It's my last one. What's your fucking problem now? Look, Quistis, I don't have any other damn thing to do. And what exactly are you expecting me to do when we find a monster? Beat it to death with my bare hands? With luck they're all miles away chowing down on the Galbadians by now."

There was a rustle in the trees off to the left. Seifer ignored it and swung around to face Quistis. "Anyway, we might get shredded by Galbadians at any minute and you're worrying about a few monster tracks . They might be days old! And if the Galbadians are going to find us than a damn cigarette isn't going to make much of a difference."

She raised an eyebrow, drawing her whip in one smooth quick movement.

"There's one right behind me, isn't there?"

Quistis nodded.

He spat the cigarette out, spun to face the monster, hand going under his coat for his knives before the gil dropped and he remembered they're weren't there. The movement turned into a rather impressive roll as the Behemoth roared and swiped at him with a spiked horn.

"Give me a fucking weapon, Trepe?"

"No chance. I can deal with this."

"Fuck, I haven't got time to argue with you. You can't fight that thing alone."

"We"ll see."

She faced up to the Behemoth, dropping her pack and shaking the whip from her belt.

Seifer scowled. "There's caution and then there's just being too damn stupid to admit that you need help."

"Being stupid's your department, not mine." She said and dodged, spinning in the snow as the monster wheeled and charged again and again.

Seifer took a moment to admire her ass, because, dammit, if he couldn't do anything he might as well do something. The behemoth that loomed over her wasn't nearly as pretty. It was easily six feet tall at the shoulder with purple fur or hair or something that curled into a kind of cap over its head. And it was hurtling this way fast.

Why isn't she using fucking magic on that thing?

Seifer jumped forwards. He landed in the snow as a part of his mind screamed at him for leaving footprints after they'd been trying hard all damn morning to keep onto the rocks and hide any tracks just in case. He ducked behind a tree as the thing charged again and any thoughts that didn't involve staying alive right now suddenly didn't seem that important.

He grabbed a branch from a tree and jabbed at the monster. The branch bent like spaghetti.

Quistis emerged behind him as silently as a ghost. He almost brained her with the stick.

She raised an eyebrow and threw him a knife.

Seifer grinned. "I hate to say I told you so, but I did."

"Now isn't the time, Sei…." Quistis' words were cut off in mid-insult as she dodged left. Seifer went right. The Behemoth went for the nearest target.

It slammed into Quistis and knocked her aside like a paper doll.

Seifer swore.

The knife looked like a toothpick in his hand despite its footlong blade. He wanted Hyperion; of failing that a proper sword. Something heavy enough to do some damage to this sonofabitch.

He faked a swing to the right. The monster was still watching him, and he risked an anxious glance back to Quistis. She wasn't moving. Her hair spread out on the snow like a halo and hid her face completely. Her com unit lay on the trampled snow in front of the behemoth lowered its head and sniffed the com unit delicately. Steam curled from its nostrils. It took the unit tentatively in its mouth like an after-dinner mint. It bit down.

Crunch.

Seifer groaned. The monster lunged for him and he retreated. It sniffed at Quistis and turned its head aside.

Seifer raised the dagger in a futile gesture. He dived in, aiming for a vulnerable eye, or the thin patch of bone in the middle of its forehead where he could sink his knife through the brittle covering right to the brain.

The behemoth swatted him aside with a casual sweep of its head. The knife flew from his hand. There was a blurred impression of speed and snow and branches pinwheeling across the sky before he slammed into the tree. He hit hard, though his layers of clothing softened some of the fall.

Shit, Seifer thought.

The whole left side of his body ached. He felt no broken bones as he dragged himself to his feet and was grateful. There was a stretched out, slightly dopey feeling in his skull that meant he'd probably hit his head too hard. It was nothing he hadn't lived and fought through half a hundred times before.

He had no weapons. His knife lay yards away. Its blade glinted in the setting sun. The behemoth watched curiously. It seemed to have lost interest in Quistis as a chew toy.

The behemoth's eyes focused on him. Seifer could see tiny reflections of himself in its eyes.

Seifer reached out a hand cautiously to the side. The behemoth saw his movement and bellowed. Its hot breath stung Seifer's face. He froze, but kept his hand where it was, ready to run.

Quistis rolled over and coughed. She came around quickly. Seifer watched her hands do the automatic check, com unit, whip, Seifer, none of which were there.

The behemoth flicked its head round and began to move towards her. Seifer dived for his knife. He landed with outstretched fingers a few inches away from the handle, half-rose and snatched it up. Blood made the hilt sticky and the knife almost slid out of his hand before he got a good grip.

Quistis was half lying on the snow. She stared at the monster. Her face was pale against her fur hood. The monster swung its head from motionless figure to figure, looking vaguely puzzled.

"Don't move," hissed Seifer.

Quistis spoke out of the corner of her mouth. "I know that."

The behemoth held still for a second and turned away, obviously bored, or not so hungry after all.

Seifer exhaled and reached for the knife, slipping it up his sleeve again. Quistis rolled over and lay spreadeagled on the snow. Magic glittered between her fingers.

The monster saw the magic and charged. It came towards them slowly, so slowly that at first Seifer did not realise how much ground it was covering in its heavy and ponderous strides. Time seemed to be moving very slowly. Breath puffed in the air in white cartoonish clouds as it bellowed. Quistis flung a spell at the beast. It missed. She dived for her pack. The monster's great head flicked towards her and it changed direction, thundering past as she flung herself behind a tree. The behemoth crashed through the pine easily in a cloud of woodchippings and needles as Quistis lurched to the side. She barely managed to jerk her arm away from the slashing sweep of its horns.

"Cover me! Get it out of the WAY! I need some room here!""

Seifer saw the glow of magic starting to burn into life between her cupped hands. He just had time to think that nothing that big should be able to move that damn fast before he ran out into the clearing and screamed at the creature.

"Over here! You fucking asshole!"

The behemoth spun like a racehorse. A racehorse, Seifer thought, with horns like daggers. If he wasn't careful here he was going to become an instant kebab. A split second and it was almost on him. He could hear the harsh panting of its breath and smell its rank animal sweat.

Seifer waited until he could see the saliva dripping from its mouth. Then he dodged. The horn that should have ripped open his side just slashed the corner of his jacket. His coat caught on the point just for a second, dragging him along as Seifer tried desperately to keep away from the hoves of the creature. The cheap leather ripped and he rolled desperately away; knife still in his hand.

He'd just been demoted from "prisoner" to "bait".

Seifer crawled to his knees, looked around and thanked Hyne that the monster had stopped again thirty feet on the other side of the clearing. His prayer turned to curses as the behemoth charged again. He rolled to one side, terminating in an ungraceful flop as the monster sensed his movement and adjusted accordingly.

This time he didn't bother glancing around; just raced as fast as he could to the other end of the clearing.

Shitshitshitshitshit. This was not good.…

He glanced back at Quistis. She was almost ready to cast. He could feel the hot tingle of the magic in the air around him.

"Come on you bastard! Are you scared?" he screamed.

The monster took the bait.

Seifer dived out of the way just as the behemoth charged full on. Magic burst from Quistis' hands in a blinding flash of light. There was a horrible cracking noise and a bellow. Seifer skidded backwards as the beast lurche towards him. He could smell the metallic stench of the monster's blood as it crashed into him. He had just enough time to think that he was really going to die, until it was over and he hadn"t.

Eventually he let go of the knife.

So I'm still alive, then.

Seifer didn't know whether to feel pleased or strangely disappointed. He spat blood on the snow, rolled over and flaked out. Black spots danced in his vision. He supposed he should get up and check if Quistis was all right, but he didnt think he could force his body to move. The snow was peaceful. It was quiet. Nobody had tried to kill him for at least ten seconds.

He heard Quistis moving off to his right."Are you all okay?"

"If I said I was dead would you leave me alone?"

"Dead men don't talk."

He sighed. "I'm fine."But he knew he wasn't. He was tired and cold and angry. Angry that he managed to get himself caught, angry that she'd had to save his ass again, angry that he'd got this far all for nothing and that this whole stupid year had been just one long intermission, racking up his crimes because he couldn't do anything else.

Talk about handing them the rope. He"d woven it himself, tied it round his neck with a pretty bow and put the end in their hand.

Seifer realised that he still had the knife. His anger screwed itself up into a lens and focused on the only other person around, hungry for something to strike at.

Quistis hardly saw him move. At the last minute she flung one arm up to protect her face. Her other hand went for her whip, but she was too slow. Seifer slammed up her against the trunk of a tree with the blade of his knife to her throat. "Boot"s on the other foot now, Trepe."

She tried to move her hand enough to get to the points on her wrist, but he leaned his weight on the dagger."Don"t even move. I"ll cut your throat."

"You won't," she said looked lke she believed it.

"I could tie you up," he told her, "and just leave you here."

"But to do that, you"re going to have to let me go. And as soon as you let me go you"ll never get hold of me again. Because you"ll have a headache the size of a small nuclear missile exploding in your skull."

Seifer swore. He'd forgotten, once again, about the transmitter. He knew she had him. And he knew that she knew it too. He hised a curse through his teeth and walked away.

They picked their things up together. An angry silence burned between them which was only broken after everything was packed away and Quistis sat down in the snow and started trying to clean up the cut on her head.

"Let me do it. You"ll only make it worse. And then it'll get infected. Don't think I'm taking myself in."

Quistis gave him a strange look. She looked like she was wondering if it was safe to let him round her head with a sharp instrument. "Okay. need to get out of here."

Seifer knelt down in the snow behind her and started shearing off the hair round the wound with her knife. Locks of blond hair floated in the air.

"How much are you taking off.?"

I"m going to shave your head, Trepe. In revenge."

She put fingers to her head. Seifer cursed. " Leave it, Quistis, you almost had your fingers off. I'm not going to, all right? It was a joke, okay?"

He melted some snow and cleaned the wound roughly and fast, ignoring her winces as the ice-cold water hit the wound."You better be able to walk straight." He rummaged through the med kit. "Doesn"t need stitching…and it's too big for a plaster- oh, hang on." He poured half the bottle of neat iodine on the wound. Quistis howled and pounded her fist against the nearest thing possible, which just happened to be Seifer's thigh. "Do you have any idea just how much that hurt?"

"Better than it getting all infected," he shot back.

Quistis subsided with bad grace. The behemoth lay in the clearing behind them. Its blod had already frozen. It would be gone my nightfall. Neither Seifer nor Quistis had enough energy to search its body for artefacts.

Seifer flicked a glance at the snow. Its pristine whiteness was wrecked by scrapes and bootprints. "Damn. There goes all the hard work trying to keep on the rocks I hope the Galbadians didn't hear that."

"Don"t worry," Quistis said. "They shouldn"t be round here yet."

"They might be. Isn't the motto of the SeeDs 'Be prepared?' Oh, wait, that was the Boy Scouts. Whatever. With Leonhart in charge, it"s probably hard to tell the difference."

He searched his pockets."Shit. Out of cigarettes. Damn monster must"ve trod on them." He found his lighter and flicked it on and off, on and off absently.

Quistis spotted one last little cylinder, miraculously missed by the pounding feet of two mercenaries and one bent down and picked it up, slightly soggy with snow, holding it towards him like miniature peace-offering. "Here."

Seifer accepted the cigarette. "Thanks." The flame of his lighter flared between cupped and gloved hands. He tipped his head back as he inhaled. Smoke hissed between his teeth."Want a drag?"

"No. You shouldn"t smoke those things. They're bad for your health."

" Nnn. Like I"m going to live long enough to have to worry about my lungs."

There was an awkward silence.

"By the way, the com broke."

"I know."

"So….. what now?"

"We just have to make it to the drop point in time," Quistis said.