Chapter four:
"These words will not heal, fear is how I fall confusing what is real."
Lupin looked down at the photos. There were tears coming down his face now. He couldn't remember what it was like to be in James favor. They didn't get along as well as Sirius did. As well the fact that Lupin had been best friends with Sirius and eventually James decided that he didn't want to be friends with him at all was still fresh in his memory.
He glanced at the picture of the four boys in there fifth year. It was when Sirius, James and Peter had finally gotten the hang of changing into animals. Lupin could remember all the joy he felt when his friends turned up to spend the time that he had been a werewolf as with him. The joy had over flown in him when they had first decided to travel the streets instead of staying in the shrieking shack.
He wiped the tears out of his eyes. James had been their friend and all of them had betrayed him in a way.
""""""
Sirius walked over to Lily, James and Lupin grinning. He seemed quite proud of for finding black dress robes for the Yule ball.
"What do you think?" he asked
"I say you look the same as ever." James smirked at him
Lily punched James in the shoulder and turned to Sirius smiling at him. "I think they match you perfectly Sirius."
Sirius turned to Lupin who was burying his face into a textbook so he wouldn't have to answer and sound like a fool.
"Well Moony?" Sirius's voice came from behind the book. "What do you think?"
"Um... you look good."
"How can you know that I look good when you don't even look at me? Hey are you even listening!" Sirius cried snatching Lupin's book right out of his hand.
"Now what do you want!" Lupin hissed at him
Sirius looked at the book. "The art of Potion making? Remus what do you think your doing studying when we have a ball to go to!"
Lupin looked down at the floor. "I'm not going." He mumbled.
James looked at Sirius then the two looked back at their friend. "What do you mean your not going? Of course your going, and your going to dance like you've never danced before!"
"Sirius I'm not going!" Lupin shouted at him and stood up and walked away.
Sirius looked at James and shook his head. "I'll go talk to him."
Lupin walked over to the window in his bedroom and looked out the window sadly. He had been an outcast from the beginning and this just probed that he couldn't do anything on his own.
"Remus what's wrong?"
Lupin didn't turn; he knew from the voice that it was Sirius. He had probably come to talk him into going.
"I already told you Sirius that I'm not going to the Yule ball." He whispered
Sirius set a hand on his shoulder and made him turn around to face him.
"I know what you said," Sirius said "I just want to know why your not going."
Lupin looked down at the floor. "Your going to think I'm an idiot if I told you."
Sirius shook his head. "I never thought of you as an idiot ever Remus."
Lupin looked at his best friend grimly. "I don't have anyone to go with."
Sirius looked as if he was going to laugh. He just shook his head ever so often giggling. "That's the reason you're passing up a dance!"
Lupin nodded then turned away. He didn't want to see his friend laughing at him.
"Moony, put your dress robes on cause were going to the Yule ball together."
Lupin spun around and looked at his friend as if he was nuts. "You and me going to the Yule ball together?" he asked again
Sirius nodded. "I didn't have anyone to go with either so let's just go hunting."
Lupin laughed at Sirius's dramatization of Snape trying to dance.
"All right I'll go." He said not being able to talk anymore.
"Good!"
That was when the trouble started. Due to Sirius and him not having dates. James became very protective of Lily. She was willing to dance with them all but James didn't want her to.
"Come on Lily!" Sirius said pulling on her arm
"She doesn't want to dance Padfoot!" James said
Lily looked at James offended. That was the last straw and everyone knew it. She stood up and walked over to Sirius.
"I would love to dance with you Sirius." Lily said aiming to see James face. He just shrugged and looked away from her angrily.
Lupin watched as Sirius and Lily danced but they didn't stop at one dance they danced all night. Lily always looked over at the table towards James. He wasn't paying attention to her though so she started to look at Remus. He often found himself always landing in her gaze. He waved a few times but was pinched under the table by James.
Then it happened. The last song started to play and James was going to get up and walk over to Lily to ask if she wanted to dance with him but Lily and Sirius came of the dance floor laughing. Lupin looked at James, he was getting desperate now to dance with Lily it was apparent.
"Lily do you want to."
James trailed off looking at her in shock. She had just turned around to Sirius and was now kissing him. It wasn't just a simple peck either it was a real kiss. Lupin turned towards James, he could actually see the shock build into rage as James stormed out of the great hall.
Lily stopped kissing Sirius and grinned to herself. Sirius who looked confused by the whole episode sat down not saying a word. Then Lily walked over to Lupin himself.
"Remus, would you like to dance?" she asked
Lupin looked at the door and seeing that James was no were to be found he nodded to Lily. She grinned and grabbed his hand pulling him to the dance floor. Lupin knew that James was going to hate Sirius for what just happened and he would even find it in his heart to have a grudge against because he didn't do anything to stop it and he accepted Lily's offer to dance instead of decline to prove his friendship.
"""""""""
Lupin looked up when he heard a knock at the door.
"Come in."
The door opened slightly and Harry's head popped in. "I was just wondering if I could have a word with you Professor Lupin."
Lupin smiled at the younger boy. "Of course Harry, what's on your mind?"
"My father."
"These words will not heal, fear is how I fall confusing what is real."
Lupin looked down at the photos. There were tears coming down his face now. He couldn't remember what it was like to be in James favor. They didn't get along as well as Sirius did. As well the fact that Lupin had been best friends with Sirius and eventually James decided that he didn't want to be friends with him at all was still fresh in his memory.
He glanced at the picture of the four boys in there fifth year. It was when Sirius, James and Peter had finally gotten the hang of changing into animals. Lupin could remember all the joy he felt when his friends turned up to spend the time that he had been a werewolf as with him. The joy had over flown in him when they had first decided to travel the streets instead of staying in the shrieking shack.
He wiped the tears out of his eyes. James had been their friend and all of them had betrayed him in a way.
""""""
Sirius walked over to Lily, James and Lupin grinning. He seemed quite proud of for finding black dress robes for the Yule ball.
"What do you think?" he asked
"I say you look the same as ever." James smirked at him
Lily punched James in the shoulder and turned to Sirius smiling at him. "I think they match you perfectly Sirius."
Sirius turned to Lupin who was burying his face into a textbook so he wouldn't have to answer and sound like a fool.
"Well Moony?" Sirius's voice came from behind the book. "What do you think?"
"Um... you look good."
"How can you know that I look good when you don't even look at me? Hey are you even listening!" Sirius cried snatching Lupin's book right out of his hand.
"Now what do you want!" Lupin hissed at him
Sirius looked at the book. "The art of Potion making? Remus what do you think your doing studying when we have a ball to go to!"
Lupin looked down at the floor. "I'm not going." He mumbled.
James looked at Sirius then the two looked back at their friend. "What do you mean your not going? Of course your going, and your going to dance like you've never danced before!"
"Sirius I'm not going!" Lupin shouted at him and stood up and walked away.
Sirius looked at James and shook his head. "I'll go talk to him."
Lupin walked over to the window in his bedroom and looked out the window sadly. He had been an outcast from the beginning and this just probed that he couldn't do anything on his own.
"Remus what's wrong?"
Lupin didn't turn; he knew from the voice that it was Sirius. He had probably come to talk him into going.
"I already told you Sirius that I'm not going to the Yule ball." He whispered
Sirius set a hand on his shoulder and made him turn around to face him.
"I know what you said," Sirius said "I just want to know why your not going."
Lupin looked down at the floor. "Your going to think I'm an idiot if I told you."
Sirius shook his head. "I never thought of you as an idiot ever Remus."
Lupin looked at his best friend grimly. "I don't have anyone to go with."
Sirius looked as if he was going to laugh. He just shook his head ever so often giggling. "That's the reason you're passing up a dance!"
Lupin nodded then turned away. He didn't want to see his friend laughing at him.
"Moony, put your dress robes on cause were going to the Yule ball together."
Lupin spun around and looked at his friend as if he was nuts. "You and me going to the Yule ball together?" he asked again
Sirius nodded. "I didn't have anyone to go with either so let's just go hunting."
Lupin laughed at Sirius's dramatization of Snape trying to dance.
"All right I'll go." He said not being able to talk anymore.
"Good!"
That was when the trouble started. Due to Sirius and him not having dates. James became very protective of Lily. She was willing to dance with them all but James didn't want her to.
"Come on Lily!" Sirius said pulling on her arm
"She doesn't want to dance Padfoot!" James said
Lily looked at James offended. That was the last straw and everyone knew it. She stood up and walked over to Sirius.
"I would love to dance with you Sirius." Lily said aiming to see James face. He just shrugged and looked away from her angrily.
Lupin watched as Sirius and Lily danced but they didn't stop at one dance they danced all night. Lily always looked over at the table towards James. He wasn't paying attention to her though so she started to look at Remus. He often found himself always landing in her gaze. He waved a few times but was pinched under the table by James.
Then it happened. The last song started to play and James was going to get up and walk over to Lily to ask if she wanted to dance with him but Lily and Sirius came of the dance floor laughing. Lupin looked at James, he was getting desperate now to dance with Lily it was apparent.
"Lily do you want to."
James trailed off looking at her in shock. She had just turned around to Sirius and was now kissing him. It wasn't just a simple peck either it was a real kiss. Lupin turned towards James, he could actually see the shock build into rage as James stormed out of the great hall.
Lily stopped kissing Sirius and grinned to herself. Sirius who looked confused by the whole episode sat down not saying a word. Then Lily walked over to Lupin himself.
"Remus, would you like to dance?" she asked
Lupin looked at the door and seeing that James was no were to be found he nodded to Lily. She grinned and grabbed his hand pulling him to the dance floor. Lupin knew that James was going to hate Sirius for what just happened and he would even find it in his heart to have a grudge against because he didn't do anything to stop it and he accepted Lily's offer to dance instead of decline to prove his friendship.
"""""""""
Lupin looked up when he heard a knock at the door.
"Come in."
The door opened slightly and Harry's head popped in. "I was just wondering if I could have a word with you Professor Lupin."
Lupin smiled at the younger boy. "Of course Harry, what's on your mind?"
"My father."