HEALERARIEL: *rubbing her temples* YOU GUYS CAN GO HOME NOW. PLEASE, PLEASE
GO HOME.
*the Animorphs, meanwhile are dressed up in (you guessed it) bedsheet- togas, still swaying drunkenly back and forth and, after having gone through Louie, Louie and Because I Got High several times, have decided on a new song.*
Animorphs: Red, red wiiinnnnne! Goes to my heeeaaad!
HEALERARIEL: GOOD LORD, WHY DID I GIVE THEM BOOZE? I'M SUCH A TARD.
Rachel: Hey's no bigthing. Beer 'sfun. *completely wasted giggling*
HEALERARIEL: I SEE YOU'VE FORGIVEN ME FOR MAKING YOU A DITZ AND CHECKING OUT YOUR BOYFRIEND, HUH, RACHEL?
Rachel: Sure, idsfine! Inee cute?! *grabs Tobias (who is still swaying and singing with the others) and starts making out with him.*
HEALERARIEL: SOMEONE KILL ME.
Jake: You know? I know I'm like, all cut out for being in the military, but tha's...not what I wanna do, man. I donwanna boss around troops all day long. I just wanna...dance! *starts doing really messed up pirouettes across the floor. He falls a few times (since he's severely inebriated), but always just giggles stupidly and goes back to his dancing.*
Marco: *laughs like a maniac*
HEALERARIEL: AND WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?
Marco: *continues to laugh insanely* D'you know what the funniest word ever is? WOOKIE! *starts to crack up again, and proceeds to yell "WOOKIE!" at regular intervals.*
Cassie: Hee hee... WOOKIE! *joins Marco in laughing like a demented hyena and rolling on the floor. Good God, I never thought I'd see CASSIE laugh at something like wookie.*
HEALERARIEL: THIS WOULD BE HYSTERICAL IF I WEREN'T GOING TO BE ARRESTED FOR GETTING THE KIDS WHO SAVED THE PLANET DRUNK AS SHIT. *Surveys the damage she's done: Jake's still leaping like a flaming fag across the floor; Cassie and Marco are still discovering the joys of the word "wookie"; and Tobias and Rachel are lying on one of HealerAriel's many cool middle- eastern furniture pieces, practically tearing each other's clothes off - with their teeth, no less.*
HEALERARIEL: HEY! OFF MY FURNITURE! I SO DO NOT WANT TOBIAS'S MAN JUICE ON MY COUCH! THAT IS NASTY BEYOND BELIEF!
*all action stops. Unfortunately for Jake, he's in midair at the time, and ends up toppling over into HealerAriel's indoor pond with a big splash.*
Marco: *looks up at HealerAriel with a confused expression* Wookie?
Jake: Heehee. I'm wet. Oh, toga go bye-bye! *indeed, Jake's toga is now drifting away in the water. And Jake is not wearing anything. At all. He stands there with a moronic grin for a few minutes, then looks like he's had a stroke of brilliance* SKINNYDIPPING! WOOHOO!
HEALERARIEL: OH SHIT. *averts her eyes as the adolescent saviors of Earth... strip and run like complete assholes into the pond.* OY VEY. AND YOU GUYS ARE THE ONES WHO SAVED HUMANKIND? SHEESH. I HOPE YOU NEVER WENT SKINNYDIPPING IN THE YEERK POOL.
Animorphs: *with identical vacant expressions* Wookie?
HEALERARIEL: DAMN, NOW IT'S NOT JUST MARCO AND CASSIE? IT'S ALL OF YOU NOW?
Cassie: Heeheeheehee...kitty *points at HealerAriel's leopard*
Other Animorphs: *nod as if Cassie has just said something incredibly profound* Kitty.
HEALERARIEL: THIS IS NOT SAYING MUCH FOR THE YEERKS; YOU GUYS ARE IDIOTS, AND YOU KICKED THEIR ASSES.
Tobias: Ass. *nods*
Jake: Kick.
Rachel: We kicked much ass.
HEALERARIEL: -_-; OKAY, I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON. ^_^ GOOD THING I GOT ALL THIS ON TAPE!
*there is - GASP! - a big puff of fuschia smoke around the Animorphs (who have joined hands and are swaying back and forth in a circle for some reason) and when it clears...*
Tobias: Whoa. What just happened?
Marco: I don't know man, but I feel kinda chilly...
*they now realize that they are standing naked in HealerAriel's pond.*
Animorphs (except Tobias): ...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *run out of the pond in different directions, still screaming* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Tobias: Aw, come on, you wussies! She made me naked before, and you thought nudity was hysterical then! I no longer have anything to fear! My bits and pieces have already been made public! I don't care! I don't care! *starts dancing around in the water, slips, and falls on his cute ass.*
HEALERARIEL: *snort* THAT WAS GRACEFUL, TOBIAS.
Tobias: Wasn't it though?
*meanwhile, the others are still freaking out, wrapping themselves back up in their togas.*
Marco: Oh my God! They saw me naked! I saw them naked! I saw Jake naked! I saw Cassie naked! I saw Tobias naked again! I saw Rachel naked -! Wait a minute. I saw Rachel naked! WOOHOO! *starts doing a victory dance, while chanting,* I SAW RACHEL NA-KED, I SAW RACHEL NA-KED! HELL YES! I HAVE WAITED FOR THIS MY ENTIRE PERVERTED LIFE! I SAW RACHEL'S BOOBS!
Rachel: WHAT!?! *gets this terrifying look in her eyes, and chases Marco around the room, screaming out descriptions of the very violent things she would like to do to him* COME BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE WEASEL! I'LL RIP YOUR EYES OUT!
Marco: YOU CAN'T DISCOURAGE ME, XENA! I SAW YOU STARK! FREAKIN! NAKED!
HEALERARIEL: *rubs her head* THIS IS GOING TO GO ON FOR A WHILE. I'LL LET YOU GUYS GO FOR NOW. NEXT TIME, THE ANIMORPHS SEE MY VIDEOTAPE OF THEIR DRUNKEN ACTIONS!
*purdy gauzy curtain closes on Rachel still trying to catch and strangle Marco, who is doing an excellent job of evading his predator.*
*the Animorphs, meanwhile are dressed up in (you guessed it) bedsheet- togas, still swaying drunkenly back and forth and, after having gone through Louie, Louie and Because I Got High several times, have decided on a new song.*
Animorphs: Red, red wiiinnnnne! Goes to my heeeaaad!
HEALERARIEL: GOOD LORD, WHY DID I GIVE THEM BOOZE? I'M SUCH A TARD.
Rachel: Hey's no bigthing. Beer 'sfun. *completely wasted giggling*
HEALERARIEL: I SEE YOU'VE FORGIVEN ME FOR MAKING YOU A DITZ AND CHECKING OUT YOUR BOYFRIEND, HUH, RACHEL?
Rachel: Sure, idsfine! Inee cute?! *grabs Tobias (who is still swaying and singing with the others) and starts making out with him.*
HEALERARIEL: SOMEONE KILL ME.
Jake: You know? I know I'm like, all cut out for being in the military, but tha's...not what I wanna do, man. I donwanna boss around troops all day long. I just wanna...dance! *starts doing really messed up pirouettes across the floor. He falls a few times (since he's severely inebriated), but always just giggles stupidly and goes back to his dancing.*
Marco: *laughs like a maniac*
HEALERARIEL: AND WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?
Marco: *continues to laugh insanely* D'you know what the funniest word ever is? WOOKIE! *starts to crack up again, and proceeds to yell "WOOKIE!" at regular intervals.*
Cassie: Hee hee... WOOKIE! *joins Marco in laughing like a demented hyena and rolling on the floor. Good God, I never thought I'd see CASSIE laugh at something like wookie.*
HEALERARIEL: THIS WOULD BE HYSTERICAL IF I WEREN'T GOING TO BE ARRESTED FOR GETTING THE KIDS WHO SAVED THE PLANET DRUNK AS SHIT. *Surveys the damage she's done: Jake's still leaping like a flaming fag across the floor; Cassie and Marco are still discovering the joys of the word "wookie"; and Tobias and Rachel are lying on one of HealerAriel's many cool middle- eastern furniture pieces, practically tearing each other's clothes off - with their teeth, no less.*
HEALERARIEL: HEY! OFF MY FURNITURE! I SO DO NOT WANT TOBIAS'S MAN JUICE ON MY COUCH! THAT IS NASTY BEYOND BELIEF!
*all action stops. Unfortunately for Jake, he's in midair at the time, and ends up toppling over into HealerAriel's indoor pond with a big splash.*
Marco: *looks up at HealerAriel with a confused expression* Wookie?
Jake: Heehee. I'm wet. Oh, toga go bye-bye! *indeed, Jake's toga is now drifting away in the water. And Jake is not wearing anything. At all. He stands there with a moronic grin for a few minutes, then looks like he's had a stroke of brilliance* SKINNYDIPPING! WOOHOO!
HEALERARIEL: OH SHIT. *averts her eyes as the adolescent saviors of Earth... strip and run like complete assholes into the pond.* OY VEY. AND YOU GUYS ARE THE ONES WHO SAVED HUMANKIND? SHEESH. I HOPE YOU NEVER WENT SKINNYDIPPING IN THE YEERK POOL.
Animorphs: *with identical vacant expressions* Wookie?
HEALERARIEL: DAMN, NOW IT'S NOT JUST MARCO AND CASSIE? IT'S ALL OF YOU NOW?
Cassie: Heeheeheehee...kitty *points at HealerAriel's leopard*
Other Animorphs: *nod as if Cassie has just said something incredibly profound* Kitty.
HEALERARIEL: THIS IS NOT SAYING MUCH FOR THE YEERKS; YOU GUYS ARE IDIOTS, AND YOU KICKED THEIR ASSES.
Tobias: Ass. *nods*
Jake: Kick.
Rachel: We kicked much ass.
HEALERARIEL: -_-; OKAY, I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON. ^_^ GOOD THING I GOT ALL THIS ON TAPE!
*there is - GASP! - a big puff of fuschia smoke around the Animorphs (who have joined hands and are swaying back and forth in a circle for some reason) and when it clears...*
Tobias: Whoa. What just happened?
Marco: I don't know man, but I feel kinda chilly...
*they now realize that they are standing naked in HealerAriel's pond.*
Animorphs (except Tobias): ...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *run out of the pond in different directions, still screaming* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Tobias: Aw, come on, you wussies! She made me naked before, and you thought nudity was hysterical then! I no longer have anything to fear! My bits and pieces have already been made public! I don't care! I don't care! *starts dancing around in the water, slips, and falls on his cute ass.*
HEALERARIEL: *snort* THAT WAS GRACEFUL, TOBIAS.
Tobias: Wasn't it though?
*meanwhile, the others are still freaking out, wrapping themselves back up in their togas.*
Marco: Oh my God! They saw me naked! I saw them naked! I saw Jake naked! I saw Cassie naked! I saw Tobias naked again! I saw Rachel naked -! Wait a minute. I saw Rachel naked! WOOHOO! *starts doing a victory dance, while chanting,* I SAW RACHEL NA-KED, I SAW RACHEL NA-KED! HELL YES! I HAVE WAITED FOR THIS MY ENTIRE PERVERTED LIFE! I SAW RACHEL'S BOOBS!
Rachel: WHAT!?! *gets this terrifying look in her eyes, and chases Marco around the room, screaming out descriptions of the very violent things she would like to do to him* COME BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE WEASEL! I'LL RIP YOUR EYES OUT!
Marco: YOU CAN'T DISCOURAGE ME, XENA! I SAW YOU STARK! FREAKIN! NAKED!
HEALERARIEL: *rubs her head* THIS IS GOING TO GO ON FOR A WHILE. I'LL LET YOU GUYS GO FOR NOW. NEXT TIME, THE ANIMORPHS SEE MY VIDEOTAPE OF THEIR DRUNKEN ACTIONS!
*purdy gauzy curtain closes on Rachel still trying to catch and strangle Marco, who is doing an excellent job of evading his predator.*