A/N: I got the name Gigi from a French novel called 'Gigi' by Colette who
also wrote one called 'The Cat' For want of a better chapter title I
blended the two.
Hip-hip Yu-ey!
DISCLAIMER: Here on Clow'd9 I *do* own the CCS characters, you are all welcome to ditch Earth and cruel reality to come live with me. . .for a small fee.
Chapter 5 - Gigi, The Cat
"Go away." Touya slammed the washing machine door closed. Eight hours after the cold shower incident and he still hadn't forgiven the Guardian. "I'm not talking to you."
". . .You just did." Yue pointed out.
"Shut up."
"There you go again."
The doorbell rang and the human stomped away. Yue laughed and started to follow until he heard-.
"Avon calling!" Ruby yelled.
Yue froze directly in the firing line. It was the stuff of nightmares. The 'it' came towards him, moving ever closer and leaving a perfumed path of destruction and deep emotional scarring in her wake before noisily landing a kiss on the birthday 'boy's' mouth.
With true maternal instincts Tomoyo shielded her camera from the sight, Syaoran clutched his sword not that one hentai! and courageously defended his girlfriends back. . .in other words the wimpy little shite stood behind her. Everyone else was at the front line. . .
Random News Reader: "Some readers may find the following report. . .disturbing."
After wrestling the tenacious, face sucking breed of creation off him Yue managed to splutter in between scrubbing his mouth. "If that. . .was my present . . .don't you think. . .rat poisoning. . .would have been kinder?"
In years to come it would become a tale that made grown men cry Yue of course could not take time out to release the pain because he was to busy hunting for sulphuric acid to rinse his mouth out with.
"Circumcision would have been kinder." Touya muttered sympathetically offering the being a wet flannel.
Ruby watched Yue try to erase his lips with the cloth and frowned. "But I tho-."
"Ruby! Spinel! Help me with this will you." Eriol was struggling to bring something big, *very* big through the doorway. With a *little* help from five humans and four Guardian's the second 'it' was finally propped so that the panting removal crew could inspect it.
The reincarnation dusted his immaculate shirt. "You know we could have used the 'The Little' for this."
All eyes swung to him but as the elected 'I don't give a crap what you do to me I'm gonna damn well say what's on my wind 'cause I'd rather have verbal diarrhoea that verbal constipation' spokesperson according to my calculation you should have been lost by word 8 only Touya voiced his. . .discontent. "Why didn't you feckin' well say so!"
Eriol looked shocked. "Because that would have been. . ." He wrinkled his nose. "Helpful."
The tall youth thought briefly. "Ah yeah, sorry man." The oh-so-manly slap on the back reconciled them to bestest non-buddy status.
Attention returned once more to the 'it,' the fruit's of the back straining labour, the pinnacle of physical sacrifice, the breaker of Ruby's nails, the truly mammoth task, the colossal monument, the-."
"It's a teddy bear!" Eriol cried finding that holding an expectant 'ta-da' expression made him want to burp. "Actually its from Ruby. Her idea you see."
"Uh." Yue stared up, up, up (x 78) at the bear with a violent pink bow-tie around its neck. "I can see that."
Ruby bounced forth. "'Cause it's so big that means you're my *extra* special person!"
The Moon Guardian's smile was strained. "Yay me. . ."
Sakura was still looking warily at Yue's present when Eriol glanced her way. "Don't worry, I won't make this one grow and then go on a suicidal rampage to kill you and destroy Yukito's house simply so I can get my sadistic kick of the hour."
"You don't need to Eriol, it's-." Kero glared up at the black, beady eyes.
Tomoyo struggled to be polite. "Well it's-."
"Huge." Yue supplied.
Touya sniggered. "Still compensating eh Eriol?"
Eriol dismissed the luke warm reception to the gift. "Well you need something to keep you warm at night." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Touya took extreme offence.
"You suggesting I can't do my job?"
Yue was looking at the toy with increasing distrust. "It'll probably crush me."
"We can but hope. . ." Kero muttered.
"Hey!"
Touya ceased glaring at the reincarnation. "Don't worry Yue, you'd be amazed what I've put you're body through and you always come back for more. You're very resilient."
"Don't get me confused with Yukito!"
"How could I? Yuki's so sweet, so sexy. . .not like you at all."
"Shut up! Place Yukito in front of a serving of Vienetta and a naked hog- tied Touya and what do you think he'll chose?"
Ruby looked thoughtful for a minute than slapped her Master's hand down as they both decided the answer. "I know, I know! To eat the Vienetta off the naked hog tied Touya?"
The footballer smiled nostalgically. "Yeah. . .I'll never forget that night. . ."
Eriol rolled his eyes. "Anyway, now for my present and Clow's of course."
The occupants of the room stepped back until many a back was pressed against an enclosing wall as Eriol reached inside his satchel gingerly, everyone gasped and tensed waiting and alert for whatever hell beast and/or thing would appear. Huge calculating eyes. . .a wet nose. . .needle sharp teeth. . .razor claws. . .scaly-no, fluffy skin-fur, hold on. . .
"It's a kitten!" Eriol cried. The whole room breathed a sigh of relief except for Syaoran who it must be said. . . screamed. . .like a girl.
"Keep it away from me!" Sakura was staring at her big strong provider, her future mate, her true love and her thought process was clear 'guess I'll be wearing the pants in this relationship then.'
"I have allergies." The Chinese boy defended and was happy when the attention shifted back to kitten and its new owner.
Yue held his hand out hesitantly for the tiny animal, a wisp of smoky grey fur and enormous blue eyes. Once its miniscule weight was settled the Guardian cupped his other hand gingerly around the fragile rib cage.
"It's so tiny." He whispered.
"It's a she."
"She. . .thank-you Eriol." He didn't look up but the words were completely genuine. "She's beautiful." Yue's eyes were rapt even as Tomoyo took the chance to film the uncharacteristic moment. "She's perfect." The kitten took to her new master instantly and burrowed closer, the Guardian cradled her and sat on the sofa next to Touya while Syaoran edged around and into the furthest chair.
For minutes the moon creation was too engrossed to notice anyone else in the room so they began chatting once the new pet had settled down and started purring but stopped again when Syaoran held up a hand.
"Sakura, do you have air conditioning?"
"Not on, why?"
Tomoyo concentrated slightly. "I can hear a fan somewhere."
Touya's spoke up quietly. "It's Yue."
True enough the Guardian had dropped his head back on the sofa a contented smile on his face as he matched the kittenish sound being made against his chest.
Ruby and Spinel started sniggering to themselves. "Now I get it!"
Touya looked up sharply. "Get what?"
"Nothing." Ruby declared innocently.
Eriol shook his head with his cherubic schoolboy smile. "Zilch."
"Zip." Clow insisted. . .that would be the first sign something was going on.
"Nada." Spinel finished with a grin. . that would be the second.
The suspicious footballer continued glaring for a while longer.
Two hours later and Yue had made a make-shift bed for Gigi (only Spinel bothered to ask why he had named his kitten that and the resulting literary discussion was extensive)
"Yue I'm surprised at you! Colette wrote flimsy short stories and all of them were a load of drivel."
"Well since you're voicing that opinion with a mouth that no doubt frequently visits your lower anatomy forgive me if a don't crumble in my opinions."
Spinel was about to transform and pounce when a yawning Gigi prowled over and hooked her claws into her new masters leggings, like a gent Spinel restrained himself and allowed Yue to carry the fluffy bundle upstairs.
He stayed scratching the tiny felines under belly until she fell asleep, he was lying on the bed with her in her own little cocoon when the eyes similar to his own finally closed and he made to get up, then stopped. He inhaled deeply then hugged the pillow to him. Touya's scent was everywhere and the Guardian felt a shift in his consciousness his thought process seemed to narrow to one being and one. . .event
"Mmmmm." He sighed before replacing the pillow and returning to the party with a naughty gleam in his eyes.
When he re-entered everyone except Spinel was engaged in a heated debate about the all time greatest party games and he waited expectantly until the panther approached him again clearly eager to get back at him.
"You know Yue, I think I have a book of yours."
"Oh really?"
"Yes. . .let me think, what was the title? Ah yes, The Kama Sutra For Magical Beings." He waited for a response from his sort-of-brother but none came, the Guardian was staring intently at Touya. "No doubt you want it back. . .?"
"Not at all Suppi, feel free to use it for your own conquests, there are plenty of positions you should be able to accomplish, the four legged variety that is." The panther plush gaped but Yue just smirked and settled back against the wall to watch his own new conquest.
"And that is why I never cut cloth on the bias line." Tomoyo declared with satisfaction and watched her listeners nod with understanding.
It had to be said though and Touya was always likely to be the one to say it. "Exactly how did me get from Pin The Tale On The Donkey to stretch fabric?"
Everyone shrugged then turned their heads at the sound of an unfamiliar and frankly evil chuckle, Eriol felt his Evil Diploma being threatened and frowned at his former self's former Guardian.
Yue had been stood watching the proceedings from his nonchalance pose against the wall but now the others watched as he strolled forward, looped his arms around Touya's neck and swung into his lap.
"You are soooo sexy."
Touya could only blink when the Guardian started pressing kisses against his neck. "I can see why Yukito chose you. . .he has such good taste. . .hmmm. . .speaking of good taste." He started sucking on Touya's neck.
"Um. . .Y-Yue, what are you doing?"
"I'm kissing you." Well technically he was sucking. "Technically I'm sucking you." Touya choked slightly. I can think of other places I'd like to suck too, Yue thought. "I can think of other places I'd like to suck too." Yue said, his words muffled against the warm neck. We should have sex. "Lets have sex."
"N-nani?" Touya stuttered and managed to see his sister's face over the Guardian's roving head, her mouth was clearly ready to say 'hoe' but no sound was emerging. He also noticed Suppi wearing his specs and taking notes, also watching fixedly was Ruby Moon as she sat cross-legged and scoffing popcorn. . .just to her left was the popcorn vender otherwise known as Eriol. Touya found it hard to narrow his eyes when Yue fastened onto his earlobe. "A-ah! Th-that tickles!"
Meanwhile in Yue's thought-(contradiction in terms)-process;
Kami, he really does taste fantastic, I wonder if his - suddenly he was Yue again. "Ah! Get him - me. . .what the-?. . .get me off him!" The being scrambled inelegantly of the youths comfortab- excuse me, *uncomfortable* lap and landed in a graceless heap on the floor glaring through a tangle of hair. "How could you let me do that!?"
Touya gaped. "What? I didn't do anything!"
"Exactly. It's like sexual harassment to the third degree refracted and reflected and then squared. . .divided my the modal area of a series of six perpendicular objects."
The Bewildered Readers Front: *blink*
Cambridge Mathematician: "What the deuce is he on about?"
Yue rethought his last. . .rather nonsensical words. By the Clow. . .it couldn't be. . .no. . .it was some kind of nightmare. . .he'd wake up soon. . .obviously he wasn't getting-.
Touya hunkered down in front of the floored angel. "Yue? Are you alright? You seem kind of-."
"I AM NOT GOING SENILE!" The cool, calm, collected and. . .cucumber- ish creation roared.
Sakura held up her hands. "No-one said you were-."
"I'm too young I tell you!"
Tomoyo offered her comfort. "Yue everything will be-."
"I'm in the prime of life!"
Touya approached the being with caution. "We know that, just cal-."
"I can't be loosing my faculties already!"
"Yue. Will you plea-."
"I'm only 1, 948 years old!" Yue slapped his hands over his mouth and groaned.
*Gasps all round with a side order of rapid blinking*
Character cameos;
Touya's thoughts: So even if he only had one lover every ten years that still adds up to 194 sexual encounters. . .he must be a minx!
Sakura's thoughts: Note to self; do not ask Yue's opinion on anything fashion related. . .may need four birthday cakes.
Tomoyo's thoughts: Growing up in a world with no camera. . .right now he needs love and comfort, he has suffered much, been deprived of- oh Sakura- chan is soooo kawaii!
Syaoran's thoughts: I hate cats, cats are eeeeeeeeevil, I love dogs, Meilin is the only exception
Spinel's thoughts: My this is a fascinating project. . .I think Gigi was checking me out!
Eriol's thoughts: Maybe if I shrunk the teddy. . .or exploded it so we were swimming in stuffing or-.
Ruby's thoughts: If I was a guy I'd probably look like Yue. . .if I was a girl-.
Kero's thoughts: Four cakes should be enough. . .I think Gigi was checking me out!
Yue's thoughts: Error - no data.
Meanwhile upstairs - Gigi's thoughts: "Kitten log, day forty-two of nine lives. Have adopted human pet, evidence of inbreeding between other two felines, pedigree looking doubtful. Objective: mark territory, malt all over brown haired boy (do not like). Estimated time of total sociological breakdown in one. . .
Two. . .
Three.
Yue: "NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOO-."
Jerry Springer's Final 'Thought': "Learning to love yourself is the greatest gift of al-."
Anon Backstage Dude: "Psst! Copyright."
Jerry Springer's Final 'Thought' (take 2): "Always look on the bright side of li-."
Anon Backstage Dude: "Once more mate, don't worry if you screw up again I've heard of this company that do 'great' dubbing. . .Nelly-something"
Jerry Springer's Almost Final 'Thought': "Nelbaka?"
Anon Backstage Dude: "That's the one - Okay people! We're rolling aaaaaaaaaaaaand ACTION!""
Jerry Springer's Final Final 'Thought': "Senility is merely ones second childhood only this time around you're actually prescribed drugs and you get a pat on the end for talking a load of bollocks. . .just look at me."
CUT!
Producer Dude: "Ah man, Jer, that was deep."
Yue: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOO!!!!!!!!
Hip-hip Yu-ey!
DISCLAIMER: Here on Clow'd9 I *do* own the CCS characters, you are all welcome to ditch Earth and cruel reality to come live with me. . .for a small fee.
Chapter 5 - Gigi, The Cat
"Go away." Touya slammed the washing machine door closed. Eight hours after the cold shower incident and he still hadn't forgiven the Guardian. "I'm not talking to you."
". . .You just did." Yue pointed out.
"Shut up."
"There you go again."
The doorbell rang and the human stomped away. Yue laughed and started to follow until he heard-.
"Avon calling!" Ruby yelled.
Yue froze directly in the firing line. It was the stuff of nightmares. The 'it' came towards him, moving ever closer and leaving a perfumed path of destruction and deep emotional scarring in her wake before noisily landing a kiss on the birthday 'boy's' mouth.
With true maternal instincts Tomoyo shielded her camera from the sight, Syaoran clutched his sword not that one hentai! and courageously defended his girlfriends back. . .in other words the wimpy little shite stood behind her. Everyone else was at the front line. . .
Random News Reader: "Some readers may find the following report. . .disturbing."
After wrestling the tenacious, face sucking breed of creation off him Yue managed to splutter in between scrubbing his mouth. "If that. . .was my present . . .don't you think. . .rat poisoning. . .would have been kinder?"
In years to come it would become a tale that made grown men cry Yue of course could not take time out to release the pain because he was to busy hunting for sulphuric acid to rinse his mouth out with.
"Circumcision would have been kinder." Touya muttered sympathetically offering the being a wet flannel.
Ruby watched Yue try to erase his lips with the cloth and frowned. "But I tho-."
"Ruby! Spinel! Help me with this will you." Eriol was struggling to bring something big, *very* big through the doorway. With a *little* help from five humans and four Guardian's the second 'it' was finally propped so that the panting removal crew could inspect it.
The reincarnation dusted his immaculate shirt. "You know we could have used the 'The Little' for this."
All eyes swung to him but as the elected 'I don't give a crap what you do to me I'm gonna damn well say what's on my wind 'cause I'd rather have verbal diarrhoea that verbal constipation' spokesperson according to my calculation you should have been lost by word 8 only Touya voiced his. . .discontent. "Why didn't you feckin' well say so!"
Eriol looked shocked. "Because that would have been. . ." He wrinkled his nose. "Helpful."
The tall youth thought briefly. "Ah yeah, sorry man." The oh-so-manly slap on the back reconciled them to bestest non-buddy status.
Attention returned once more to the 'it,' the fruit's of the back straining labour, the pinnacle of physical sacrifice, the breaker of Ruby's nails, the truly mammoth task, the colossal monument, the-."
"It's a teddy bear!" Eriol cried finding that holding an expectant 'ta-da' expression made him want to burp. "Actually its from Ruby. Her idea you see."
"Uh." Yue stared up, up, up (x 78) at the bear with a violent pink bow-tie around its neck. "I can see that."
Ruby bounced forth. "'Cause it's so big that means you're my *extra* special person!"
The Moon Guardian's smile was strained. "Yay me. . ."
Sakura was still looking warily at Yue's present when Eriol glanced her way. "Don't worry, I won't make this one grow and then go on a suicidal rampage to kill you and destroy Yukito's house simply so I can get my sadistic kick of the hour."
"You don't need to Eriol, it's-." Kero glared up at the black, beady eyes.
Tomoyo struggled to be polite. "Well it's-."
"Huge." Yue supplied.
Touya sniggered. "Still compensating eh Eriol?"
Eriol dismissed the luke warm reception to the gift. "Well you need something to keep you warm at night." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Touya took extreme offence.
"You suggesting I can't do my job?"
Yue was looking at the toy with increasing distrust. "It'll probably crush me."
"We can but hope. . ." Kero muttered.
"Hey!"
Touya ceased glaring at the reincarnation. "Don't worry Yue, you'd be amazed what I've put you're body through and you always come back for more. You're very resilient."
"Don't get me confused with Yukito!"
"How could I? Yuki's so sweet, so sexy. . .not like you at all."
"Shut up! Place Yukito in front of a serving of Vienetta and a naked hog- tied Touya and what do you think he'll chose?"
Ruby looked thoughtful for a minute than slapped her Master's hand down as they both decided the answer. "I know, I know! To eat the Vienetta off the naked hog tied Touya?"
The footballer smiled nostalgically. "Yeah. . .I'll never forget that night. . ."
Eriol rolled his eyes. "Anyway, now for my present and Clow's of course."
The occupants of the room stepped back until many a back was pressed against an enclosing wall as Eriol reached inside his satchel gingerly, everyone gasped and tensed waiting and alert for whatever hell beast and/or thing would appear. Huge calculating eyes. . .a wet nose. . .needle sharp teeth. . .razor claws. . .scaly-no, fluffy skin-fur, hold on. . .
"It's a kitten!" Eriol cried. The whole room breathed a sigh of relief except for Syaoran who it must be said. . . screamed. . .like a girl.
"Keep it away from me!" Sakura was staring at her big strong provider, her future mate, her true love and her thought process was clear 'guess I'll be wearing the pants in this relationship then.'
"I have allergies." The Chinese boy defended and was happy when the attention shifted back to kitten and its new owner.
Yue held his hand out hesitantly for the tiny animal, a wisp of smoky grey fur and enormous blue eyes. Once its miniscule weight was settled the Guardian cupped his other hand gingerly around the fragile rib cage.
"It's so tiny." He whispered.
"It's a she."
"She. . .thank-you Eriol." He didn't look up but the words were completely genuine. "She's beautiful." Yue's eyes were rapt even as Tomoyo took the chance to film the uncharacteristic moment. "She's perfect." The kitten took to her new master instantly and burrowed closer, the Guardian cradled her and sat on the sofa next to Touya while Syaoran edged around and into the furthest chair.
For minutes the moon creation was too engrossed to notice anyone else in the room so they began chatting once the new pet had settled down and started purring but stopped again when Syaoran held up a hand.
"Sakura, do you have air conditioning?"
"Not on, why?"
Tomoyo concentrated slightly. "I can hear a fan somewhere."
Touya's spoke up quietly. "It's Yue."
True enough the Guardian had dropped his head back on the sofa a contented smile on his face as he matched the kittenish sound being made against his chest.
Ruby and Spinel started sniggering to themselves. "Now I get it!"
Touya looked up sharply. "Get what?"
"Nothing." Ruby declared innocently.
Eriol shook his head with his cherubic schoolboy smile. "Zilch."
"Zip." Clow insisted. . .that would be the first sign something was going on.
"Nada." Spinel finished with a grin. . that would be the second.
The suspicious footballer continued glaring for a while longer.
Two hours later and Yue had made a make-shift bed for Gigi (only Spinel bothered to ask why he had named his kitten that and the resulting literary discussion was extensive)
"Yue I'm surprised at you! Colette wrote flimsy short stories and all of them were a load of drivel."
"Well since you're voicing that opinion with a mouth that no doubt frequently visits your lower anatomy forgive me if a don't crumble in my opinions."
Spinel was about to transform and pounce when a yawning Gigi prowled over and hooked her claws into her new masters leggings, like a gent Spinel restrained himself and allowed Yue to carry the fluffy bundle upstairs.
He stayed scratching the tiny felines under belly until she fell asleep, he was lying on the bed with her in her own little cocoon when the eyes similar to his own finally closed and he made to get up, then stopped. He inhaled deeply then hugged the pillow to him. Touya's scent was everywhere and the Guardian felt a shift in his consciousness his thought process seemed to narrow to one being and one. . .event
"Mmmmm." He sighed before replacing the pillow and returning to the party with a naughty gleam in his eyes.
When he re-entered everyone except Spinel was engaged in a heated debate about the all time greatest party games and he waited expectantly until the panther approached him again clearly eager to get back at him.
"You know Yue, I think I have a book of yours."
"Oh really?"
"Yes. . .let me think, what was the title? Ah yes, The Kama Sutra For Magical Beings." He waited for a response from his sort-of-brother but none came, the Guardian was staring intently at Touya. "No doubt you want it back. . .?"
"Not at all Suppi, feel free to use it for your own conquests, there are plenty of positions you should be able to accomplish, the four legged variety that is." The panther plush gaped but Yue just smirked and settled back against the wall to watch his own new conquest.
"And that is why I never cut cloth on the bias line." Tomoyo declared with satisfaction and watched her listeners nod with understanding.
It had to be said though and Touya was always likely to be the one to say it. "Exactly how did me get from Pin The Tale On The Donkey to stretch fabric?"
Everyone shrugged then turned their heads at the sound of an unfamiliar and frankly evil chuckle, Eriol felt his Evil Diploma being threatened and frowned at his former self's former Guardian.
Yue had been stood watching the proceedings from his nonchalance pose against the wall but now the others watched as he strolled forward, looped his arms around Touya's neck and swung into his lap.
"You are soooo sexy."
Touya could only blink when the Guardian started pressing kisses against his neck. "I can see why Yukito chose you. . .he has such good taste. . .hmmm. . .speaking of good taste." He started sucking on Touya's neck.
"Um. . .Y-Yue, what are you doing?"
"I'm kissing you." Well technically he was sucking. "Technically I'm sucking you." Touya choked slightly. I can think of other places I'd like to suck too, Yue thought. "I can think of other places I'd like to suck too." Yue said, his words muffled against the warm neck. We should have sex. "Lets have sex."
"N-nani?" Touya stuttered and managed to see his sister's face over the Guardian's roving head, her mouth was clearly ready to say 'hoe' but no sound was emerging. He also noticed Suppi wearing his specs and taking notes, also watching fixedly was Ruby Moon as she sat cross-legged and scoffing popcorn. . .just to her left was the popcorn vender otherwise known as Eriol. Touya found it hard to narrow his eyes when Yue fastened onto his earlobe. "A-ah! Th-that tickles!"
Meanwhile in Yue's thought-(contradiction in terms)-process;
Kami, he really does taste fantastic, I wonder if his - suddenly he was Yue again. "Ah! Get him - me. . .what the-?. . .get me off him!" The being scrambled inelegantly of the youths comfortab- excuse me, *uncomfortable* lap and landed in a graceless heap on the floor glaring through a tangle of hair. "How could you let me do that!?"
Touya gaped. "What? I didn't do anything!"
"Exactly. It's like sexual harassment to the third degree refracted and reflected and then squared. . .divided my the modal area of a series of six perpendicular objects."
The Bewildered Readers Front: *blink*
Cambridge Mathematician: "What the deuce is he on about?"
Yue rethought his last. . .rather nonsensical words. By the Clow. . .it couldn't be. . .no. . .it was some kind of nightmare. . .he'd wake up soon. . .obviously he wasn't getting-.
Touya hunkered down in front of the floored angel. "Yue? Are you alright? You seem kind of-."
"I AM NOT GOING SENILE!" The cool, calm, collected and. . .cucumber- ish creation roared.
Sakura held up her hands. "No-one said you were-."
"I'm too young I tell you!"
Tomoyo offered her comfort. "Yue everything will be-."
"I'm in the prime of life!"
Touya approached the being with caution. "We know that, just cal-."
"I can't be loosing my faculties already!"
"Yue. Will you plea-."
"I'm only 1, 948 years old!" Yue slapped his hands over his mouth and groaned.
*Gasps all round with a side order of rapid blinking*
Character cameos;
Touya's thoughts: So even if he only had one lover every ten years that still adds up to 194 sexual encounters. . .he must be a minx!
Sakura's thoughts: Note to self; do not ask Yue's opinion on anything fashion related. . .may need four birthday cakes.
Tomoyo's thoughts: Growing up in a world with no camera. . .right now he needs love and comfort, he has suffered much, been deprived of- oh Sakura- chan is soooo kawaii!
Syaoran's thoughts: I hate cats, cats are eeeeeeeeevil, I love dogs, Meilin is the only exception
Spinel's thoughts: My this is a fascinating project. . .I think Gigi was checking me out!
Eriol's thoughts: Maybe if I shrunk the teddy. . .or exploded it so we were swimming in stuffing or-.
Ruby's thoughts: If I was a guy I'd probably look like Yue. . .if I was a girl-.
Kero's thoughts: Four cakes should be enough. . .I think Gigi was checking me out!
Yue's thoughts: Error - no data.
Meanwhile upstairs - Gigi's thoughts: "Kitten log, day forty-two of nine lives. Have adopted human pet, evidence of inbreeding between other two felines, pedigree looking doubtful. Objective: mark territory, malt all over brown haired boy (do not like). Estimated time of total sociological breakdown in one. . .
Two. . .
Three.
Yue: "NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOO-."
Jerry Springer's Final 'Thought': "Learning to love yourself is the greatest gift of al-."
Anon Backstage Dude: "Psst! Copyright."
Jerry Springer's Final 'Thought' (take 2): "Always look on the bright side of li-."
Anon Backstage Dude: "Once more mate, don't worry if you screw up again I've heard of this company that do 'great' dubbing. . .Nelly-something"
Jerry Springer's Almost Final 'Thought': "Nelbaka?"
Anon Backstage Dude: "That's the one - Okay people! We're rolling aaaaaaaaaaaaand ACTION!""
Jerry Springer's Final Final 'Thought': "Senility is merely ones second childhood only this time around you're actually prescribed drugs and you get a pat on the end for talking a load of bollocks. . .just look at me."
CUT!
Producer Dude: "Ah man, Jer, that was deep."
Yue: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOO!!!!!!!!