Authors' Note:
We know the first chapter was short, so here's the second one.in case anyone is having as much fun with this as we did late at night.everything's funnier when you're overtired, I'll tell you that.
Chapter 2: Uzis and Lasers
"It's safe to move on, now," said the cold voice of Luscious Malfoy (no, that's not a typo).
"It's still light out, you know," said the equally cold voice of Narcissa Malfoy, as she flicked the ashes carelessly from her Marlboro cigarette.
"Shut up, woman," Luscious retorted harshly.
Huddled in a dark, lonely corner of their rusted shrimping boat sat Draco Malfoy. The Malfoy family had been on the run from the Ministry for almost three weeks. The lack of food and water had brought all of their spirits down, especially Draco, whose emaciated lifestyle had rendered him weak and helpless in the face of his cruel parents. In fact, at this very moment, unbeknownst to him, they were plotting his demise for their own sustenance.
Draco cast a glance at the two dark robed figures of his parents, who were whispered agitatedly between themselves. He could not make out their words.
"All right," said Luscious grudgingly to his wife, "I'll strangle the boy if you gut him."
"It has to be done now, Luscious," she snapped, "I'm frickin' starving. Throw me a frickin' bone here. Then get me some frickin' sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads."
Luscious turned a cold gray eye towards his son. Draco observed with horror as his father picked up a chain near by and started advancing on him. Of course, Draco had been expecting this ever since his told his father to go do something to himself after Luscious had objected to Draco's repeated playing of 50 Cents "21 Questions." God, how he loved that song. He loved it like a fat kid love cake.
By the time Draco had finished that thought, his father was nearly upon him. The time had come to make an escape. He whipped out his two Uzi submachine guns, and miraculously failed to hit Luscious. Fortunately, it was enough distraction for him to grab his fully packed suitcase and dramatically throw himself from the boat in a perfect swan dive. From the shrimp boat, he heard his mother's malicious laugh.
"What you don't know, Draco," she said, "is that these waters are infested with frickin' sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!!"
Luscious looked as his wife incredulously. "Well, now he knows! Thanks a lot, bizz-natch!"
Draco's heart leapt as he felt the searing heat of a laser beam pass by his left leg. There was a ship in the distance. Could he make it before the sharks ripped him limb from limb. Fortunately, he still had that outboard motor fixed onto the back of his suitcase. Blindly firing the uzis at the sharks behind him, Draco sped off into the wild blue waters, heading for that shadow of hope: the distant ship.
We know the first chapter was short, so here's the second one.in case anyone is having as much fun with this as we did late at night.everything's funnier when you're overtired, I'll tell you that.
Chapter 2: Uzis and Lasers
"It's safe to move on, now," said the cold voice of Luscious Malfoy (no, that's not a typo).
"It's still light out, you know," said the equally cold voice of Narcissa Malfoy, as she flicked the ashes carelessly from her Marlboro cigarette.
"Shut up, woman," Luscious retorted harshly.
Huddled in a dark, lonely corner of their rusted shrimping boat sat Draco Malfoy. The Malfoy family had been on the run from the Ministry for almost three weeks. The lack of food and water had brought all of their spirits down, especially Draco, whose emaciated lifestyle had rendered him weak and helpless in the face of his cruel parents. In fact, at this very moment, unbeknownst to him, they were plotting his demise for their own sustenance.
Draco cast a glance at the two dark robed figures of his parents, who were whispered agitatedly between themselves. He could not make out their words.
"All right," said Luscious grudgingly to his wife, "I'll strangle the boy if you gut him."
"It has to be done now, Luscious," she snapped, "I'm frickin' starving. Throw me a frickin' bone here. Then get me some frickin' sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads."
Luscious turned a cold gray eye towards his son. Draco observed with horror as his father picked up a chain near by and started advancing on him. Of course, Draco had been expecting this ever since his told his father to go do something to himself after Luscious had objected to Draco's repeated playing of 50 Cents "21 Questions." God, how he loved that song. He loved it like a fat kid love cake.
By the time Draco had finished that thought, his father was nearly upon him. The time had come to make an escape. He whipped out his two Uzi submachine guns, and miraculously failed to hit Luscious. Fortunately, it was enough distraction for him to grab his fully packed suitcase and dramatically throw himself from the boat in a perfect swan dive. From the shrimp boat, he heard his mother's malicious laugh.
"What you don't know, Draco," she said, "is that these waters are infested with frickin' sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!!"
Luscious looked as his wife incredulously. "Well, now he knows! Thanks a lot, bizz-natch!"
Draco's heart leapt as he felt the searing heat of a laser beam pass by his left leg. There was a ship in the distance. Could he make it before the sharks ripped him limb from limb. Fortunately, he still had that outboard motor fixed onto the back of his suitcase. Blindly firing the uzis at the sharks behind him, Draco sped off into the wild blue waters, heading for that shadow of hope: the distant ship.