Laaaaaa! We wuv all of the reviewers! Yaaaaay! .::slap-happiness takes over::.

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Chapter 8: The Return of Buttercup

In the middle of the night, Hermione awoke to the gentle sound of waves lapping against the little boat.

Where am I? she thought. All she remembered was dancing with a beautiful, mysterious boy…

She looked to her side. Oh, there he is, sleeping next to me.

Out here, in the middle of a mist enshrouded lifeboat, he seemed even more handsome. A few hours on her yacht had restored him to full health, and his face glowed with radiance. Not to mention he resembled an Abercrombie and Fitch model with his blonde hair, tanned skin, and muscular physique. Oh, how she desired to be held in his embrace, to be kissed by his lips!

Now in her happy place, she drifted off to sleep once again.

****

They both awoke with a start as the dinghy scraped along the edge of a sandy beach.

"Where are we?" asked Draco.

"It seems to me we're on a beach." said Hermione.

"No sh*t, Sherlock," said Draco.

She looked taken aback. "That was quite vulgar. This story is only rated PG, you remember?"

"Well, what do you propose I do?"

"What J. K. Rowling does…say 'dung' instead."

"No dung, Sherlock?" He paused, contemplative. "I'm sorry, that just doesn't have the same ring to it."

"Let's move on."

"Right."

"We're on a beach…it looks deserted…. Not to mention [something funny]."

Through the spray of the ocean waves (which were crystal-clear and sparkly), Draco thought he spied something. "What's that?"

Hermione followed his gaze down the beach. She let out a gasp. "It's Buttercup!"

"Neigh!" said the horse triumphantly.

She ran to her pony (okay, it was a full-grown horse, but don't tell her that). "But—Buttercup! How can this be?"

"Neighneigh, neigh, neighneighneigh-neigh neigh!" (Translation: Plastics make it possible. Also, wouldn't you know it, my seat cushion functioned as a floatation device!)

Hermione nodded intently. "But what about the blood?"

"Neigh, neighneighneighneigh neighneigh-neigh neigh neighneigh-neigh neigh!" (Translation: Cranberry juice.)

"Hey! What's that you've got there?" exclaimed Draco.

The horse stuck its nose into the sea foam and produced a large teddy bear, now severely moist. Buttercup threw her head to one side, ripping open the teddy bear to reveal everything needed for survival on a desert isle, including Twister.

"You're the best horse ever!" declared Hermione, giving her a large hug. The horse whinnied, biting off a large chunk of her shoulder flesh affectionately.

Draco donned the water wings he found inside the bear. "Perfect! I'll go swim and catch us some fish, Princess!"

"Have fun, ruggedly mysterious boy!" she exclaimed, blowing a kiss. Draco dove to catch it, falling into the surf.

"Help!" he cried. "I'm drowning!"

UH-OH! CLIFFHANGER!!!

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For ten points: identify what we were making fun of when Buttercup bites Hermione!

Hufflepuff is DOMINATING this game, all you other-house supporters better get into it and answer some questions! No penalties for stupidity, we're not Snape! :-D

empty box of Kleenex