Chapter 5
Spike is sitting by his bed with Buffy laid out in front of him, tucked under the covers. When he brought her downstairs, he tried to make her as comfortable as he could. First by removing her ripped jeans to be replaced with a pair of his boxers so he could easily change the bandage on her thigh without having to remove any clothing. Then he tucked her delicately under the satin sheets and soft cotton blanket of his bed and laid her head on the gentle feather pillows.
To keep himself busy, he began to place candles around the room and light them individually to give the room some light to see her by. If not for the reason his love were in his bed just then, the lighting would have been romantic. Now it was simply something to keep him from looking at her helpless form for a few short minutes. After he's done all he could for her, he simply pulls up a chair and sits by her side, hoping beyond hope that she will wake up. Until then, he doesn't plan on leaving her side.
"Come on luv. Wake up. I know you're in there. Come out to play already. Enough of these games. Wake up so that we can go fight the local baddies. Not near as much fun kickin' demon ass without you, Slayer."
She still doesn't move, but looks empty, almost dead. Spike finally starts to break at the sight and slips her still hand into his shaking one. He's never seen her look so helpless and it scares him to death. {not the best choice of words, but, hey you get the idea }
"Please luv. Don't do this to me. I don't think I could survive it if you came back to me only to be taken away again. I can't do it. I can't stay in a world that doesn't have you in it any longer. Been there, done that. Never want to do it again. You leave me this time, and I'm going with you. I don't care what I said before. I can't do it. I'm not strong enough to live without you. Not again. God I love you Buffy. I hope you know that."
Small bloody tears have begun to make tracks down his face, but they go unnoticed as he continues to stare at the unconscious beauty before him.
"Look at me, Buff. I'm a bloody mess without you. You know that. You've turned me into a soddin' nancy boy, you have? But you know what? I wouldn't trade it for the world. You're in my gut Slayer. You're all I bloody think about, dream about. I'm drownin' in you, Buffy. I'm drownin' in you. And I don't want to be saved."
He looks closely at her, but there's no change. Her heartbeat is still faint, but at least it's steady. Hopefully she just needs time to heal. Hopefully she'll make it. She has to.
"Come on. You have to wake up luv. You have to make it. And not because the bloody world needs you to save it again. Not because of the watcher, the witch, or the whelp. Hell, not even because of the Nibblet. But because of me. …Me, Spike, William the Bloody. I need you. I've never needed anyone, 'specially not a Slayer, but I need you Buffy. Now that might be right selfish of me, but I don't care."
Suddenly he seems very unsure, like a child.
"Come back to me, Buffy. Please."
He reaches up and softly stokes her cheek with his hand, the tears still falling from his face unashamed. Her pulse rises slightly, but other than that, nothing changes. Still, it's something. The crumb Spike was wanting. That he was needing.
"You're in there somewhere Slayer. I know you are. Just wake up and come back to me."