Chapter 12

When Spike finished setting up the candles once again, he returned to his seat next to Buffy. He continues to stare at her now peaceful face. On closer examination, he sees a small contented smile on her soft lips and he slides his hand into hers. Her smile grows at the contact and Spike smiles in turn. This is definitely a good sign. Wait. Unless she thinks I'm the bloody poof. God I hope not.

He feels her start to stir and quickly pulls his hand away, but continues to sit and stare at her. After a few minutes she starts to open her eyes. She blinks once, twice, and then her eyes open wide and she sits up in bed. Spike looks down, afraid she's upset with him.

"Spike." She whispers, her voice slightly hoarse from lack of use.

He looks up and into her curious eyes.

"Yeah luv?"

She visibly calms down after hearing one of his terms of endearment.

"Was it real? I thought it was a dream."

Spike thinks she's talking about the vampire attack, which would explain the whimpering he heard from her earlier. She must have been dreaming about it.

"Yeah. It was."

She seems way too happy about this. Spike notes.

"Good. Then what are you do…"

Buffy looks at his fully clothed body, then down at hers. Though no longer in pants, the shirt isn't the tank top she had on.

"and what am I…"

It dawns on her. It was a dream. He's talking about something else. She gets embarrassed and looks away from Spike. Great, now he thinks I'm crazy. Either that or he knows. And what AM I doing in bed if I wasn't just ravished? She blushes even more and continues to look away from him which concerns Spike immensely. When her face returns to its normal color, she glances back up at him.

"Spike. What AM I doing here?"

"Well, the vampire attack…"

This confuses Buffy because she has no idea what he's talking about. She wasn't attack, but then what's that on her leg? Her hand slips under the covers and fingers the bandage on her thigh.

"What vampire attack?"

Now Spike's confused.

"The one you were talking about. Asking if it was real. And it was. Sorry it wasn't just a nightmare. Really wish it was."

"I wasn't talking about an attack."

"Then, what were you talking about?"

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"What about my question?"

"Answer mine first…please."

She looks into his eyes intensely and he has no choice but to give in. But first he moves onto the bed beside her and stretches out. He's been in that chair for so long now. After seeing she doesn't resist, he moves closer.

"Buffy, luv, you were attacked."

"When?"

"Um, two days ago, I think. Kinda' lost track of time down here."

"You mean, I've been out for two days?"

"Yep."

Buffy's face goes pale, matching Spike's in complexion.

"Wh…Wh…What hap…happened?"

Spike senses Buffy's fear and hopes she won't kill him as he slips his arm around her in the hopes of comforting her. It had the effect he intended and she instantly starts to relax. Then she did the unexpected and leaned her head on his shoulder. Spike doesn't say anything about it though because he is afraid she will come back to her senses and move away.

"You were attacked in the cemetery a few nights ago. You were out on your own, though I distinctly remember Giles didn't want you patrolling by yourself yet."

Buffy starts to remember bits and pieces and wraps her arms around Spike, pulling herself closer to him for protection. He looks down and sees her scared face.

"You remember, don't you luv?"

"Somewhat? It gets fuzzy during the fight though."

"Tell me what you remember. I'll fill you in on the rest."

"Okay."

Buffy looks into his eyes and sees he's not going to let anything more happen. When she feels safe enough to continue, she does.

"I had to get out of the house. I just wanted time to think, or at least I thought I did. It was a rather quiet night and my mind started to wander. Before I know it, I've been hit in the arm with a knife. I look up and see a pack of vamps. They started attacking, but I couldn't get away."

She starts shaking from fear, so Spike wraps his arms tighter around her to reassure her she's safe.

"That's…that's all I remember. Then it went black."

"That's about the time I showed up. I heard you screaming and found a bunch of vampires standing over your unconscious body with a bloody knife."

"Are they.."

"Yeah luv. Staked every last one. Then I brought you here to bandage you up. You've been here ever since."

Buffy looks up at him, directly in the eye. A million questions fill her mind and she has to decide were to begin.

"But where's here?"

"My crypt of course."

"But, I don't remember it looking like this."

"That's because you've never seen the bottom level."

"Oh."

She continues to look at him, unsure if she should ask her next question or not. Spike sees her look and cocks his head to the side in a questioning manner.

"What is it Buffy?"

That gave her the confidence she needed. He doesn't normally call her by her name, but when he does, his voice is always so full of love it scares her.

"Why?"

"Do you have to ask?"

Spike continues to look at her closely and discovers she needs the reassurance.

"I love you, Buffy. And I couldn't stand to see you die again."

It looks as if he's going to start crying, which is strange to Buffy and she suddenly feels bad about asking. She looks away uncertain. Spike decides a lighter mood is in order.

"Remember pet, you said you would answer my question if I answered yours."

Buffy glances back at him before turning away, her cheeks tinted pink.

"Do I have to?" She whispers embarrassed.

"Yes. Now luv, what could have made you whimper like that if it wasn't from fear?"

Before she has to answer, Spike figures it out. It wasn't pain, it was pleasure. He removes his arm from around her and stands up off the bed, too close for comfort for him. No telling who she was thinking about. In MY bed, no less. She looks up confused and then wraps her arms around herself and looks at her lap.

"So who was it Slayer?" He grounds out.

He's so upset that he doesn't notice the way she flinches as he says that. He only calls her Slayer like that when he's mad at her.

"Who was it that you were missing? Your soldier boy?"

He glances down at her briefly and sees she is still looking at her lap. Her hair covers her face so he can't see the silent tears that start to fall down her face. She slowly starts to shake her head and whispers.

"No."

"Well then. Don't tell me it was the loser that didn't even stick around for another go?"

This hurts even more and the tears flow quicker, though Spike remains unaware.

"No." She whispers yet again.

That leaves only one person…thing. Spike's voice rises, completely angry that after all he's done for her in the past few days, she dreams about that Poofer.

"So it was Angelus then?"

She cries even harder then. No you idiot. I don't care about him. Not anymore. Not for a while now. But of course you wouldn't know that. Why? Because I've been afraid to tell you. She's crying so hard now that she can't even speak, but Spike still refuses to notice. He glances at her again and she simply shakes her head in the negative, which catches Spike by surprise.

"So who was it then?" His voice is mixed with anger and curiosity.

She doesn't reply, only pulls her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around herself tighter. Afraid to tell, afraid not to.

"Do you have a new guy then? That's it, isn't it? Got someone new waiting back at your house for you?" Spike says, his voice a mixture of anger and sorrow.

Buffy doesn't say anything for a while, still silently arguing with herself and trying to stop crying. Spike stares down at her waiting for a reply. Finally, she slowly lifts her head to reveal puffy red eyes and tear tracks running down her cheeks. She whispers so softly that, without vampiric hearing, Spike wouldn't have heard. As it was, he had to strain to hear her.

"You."

Spike stands there just staring at her trying to comprehend what she just said.