Caged 4
by: Isa
PG-13
Disclaimer: Anything you recognise either belongs to J.K. Rowling or to Goldfrapp.
A.N.- Thank you so much to all my reviewers.
Special thanks to fae. Your review was really sweet. Don't worry, I'll most definitely go on.
I'm sorry to tell you, Adela H, that I do not know the books you mentioned. But if you liked them and compared my writing to them, I can only feel happy for such praise.
And, of course, thank you to SnapeJuice, the mistress of angst, for her help.
*
"I fool myself
To sleep and dream
Nobody's here
No one but me
So cool
You're hardly there
Why can't this
Be killing you?"
Lovely Head - Goldfrapp
*
I wake up.
It's dark.
Nothing moves.
Or maybe everything is spinning and dancing around me and I just can't see it.
So dark.
Inky blackness all around me.
I dip my finger in it and start tracing unknown words on my skin.
Words that haven't been invented yet.
Written across my collarbones, my shoulders, my neck, my breasts.
Not even a foreign sound to them.
Words that describe my longing.
For him.
*
I wake up.
Still dark.
I feel the darkness smudged across my body.
Unreadable traces of ink upon my skin.
Fingers still sticky with darkness.
He was never here.
Never.
*
I wake up.
I'm so scared.
Will there be darkness forever?
It feels like everything is alive around me.
Panic rises.
Cold fingers clutching my neck.
A heavy weight on my chest keeps me from breathing.
I can feel the walls breathing.
The floor pulsing beneath my fingers.
Whispers through the bars reach my ears and tell me of fear.
The floor continues to thump rhythmically.
Heartbeats pulsing.
Dark, dark blood flowing beneath my body.
Beneath the cold floor.
Soundless gasps resounding in darkness.
Wounded sobs echoing through the walls.
*
He is here.
Looking at me.
Disgust in his steel eyes.
He is here!
I smile.
"Let me save you."
He doesn't seem surprised.
I grab his hand and pull him down to the floor with me.
He looks at my hand holding his like it's something he needs to wash off.
I shouldn't do this.
Shouldn't taint him. Shouldn't touch him.
He just kneels there. Unmoving.
Not wanting my touch, but allowing me to go on.
I cup his cheeks with my ink smudged hands.
"I killed them." He reminds me.
I smile again.
I hold him.
It's like holding a rag doll. An inanimate thing I press against myself.
"Say my name," I sob. "Whisper it."
He smells of expensive and rare spices. A mix of clean and luxury.
And skin. Warm, warm skin.
"They begged me to spare you."
He laughs. Clearly amused.
I smile too. I push the heavy robes off his broad shoulders.
"But I don't intend to."
He still laughs.
I smile back and move to kiss him.
He turns his face from me and the kiss lands on his jaw.
His perfect jaw.
I kiss my way up to his cheekbone.
His long eyelashes fluttering against my skin like a caught butterfly.
I unbutton his clothes.
The scent of warm skin makes me dizzy.
The smoothness of him.
I forget who I am.
I forget.
With the weight of you, dear.
I forget.
"I don't intend to."
*
I wake up.
Nobody's here.
No one but me.
He was never here.
I yell and cry in frustration.
Until I'm hoarse.
Until I can only taste my tears.
Despair thick in my throat.
He was never here.
It was all a dream.
*
He enters.
They told him she had yelled and cried.
He is sorry he missed it.
She sleeps.
Dried tears upon her face.
He doesn't get closer.
Not since his fingers touched her horribly freckled cheekbone.
Never again.
She sleeps.
"Wake up."
He doesn't raise his voice. He doesn't need to.
She stirs.
A tangle of warm limbs and sheets.
Sleepy eyes stare at him. Waiting for him to vanish now that the dreams have ended.
"Now, tell me about Potter."
by: Isa
PG-13
Disclaimer: Anything you recognise either belongs to J.K. Rowling or to Goldfrapp.
A.N.- Thank you so much to all my reviewers.
Special thanks to fae. Your review was really sweet. Don't worry, I'll most definitely go on.
I'm sorry to tell you, Adela H, that I do not know the books you mentioned. But if you liked them and compared my writing to them, I can only feel happy for such praise.
And, of course, thank you to SnapeJuice, the mistress of angst, for her help.
*
"I fool myself
To sleep and dream
Nobody's here
No one but me
So cool
You're hardly there
Why can't this
Be killing you?"
Lovely Head - Goldfrapp
*
I wake up.
It's dark.
Nothing moves.
Or maybe everything is spinning and dancing around me and I just can't see it.
So dark.
Inky blackness all around me.
I dip my finger in it and start tracing unknown words on my skin.
Words that haven't been invented yet.
Written across my collarbones, my shoulders, my neck, my breasts.
Not even a foreign sound to them.
Words that describe my longing.
For him.
*
I wake up.
Still dark.
I feel the darkness smudged across my body.
Unreadable traces of ink upon my skin.
Fingers still sticky with darkness.
He was never here.
Never.
*
I wake up.
I'm so scared.
Will there be darkness forever?
It feels like everything is alive around me.
Panic rises.
Cold fingers clutching my neck.
A heavy weight on my chest keeps me from breathing.
I can feel the walls breathing.
The floor pulsing beneath my fingers.
Whispers through the bars reach my ears and tell me of fear.
The floor continues to thump rhythmically.
Heartbeats pulsing.
Dark, dark blood flowing beneath my body.
Beneath the cold floor.
Soundless gasps resounding in darkness.
Wounded sobs echoing through the walls.
*
He is here.
Looking at me.
Disgust in his steel eyes.
He is here!
I smile.
"Let me save you."
He doesn't seem surprised.
I grab his hand and pull him down to the floor with me.
He looks at my hand holding his like it's something he needs to wash off.
I shouldn't do this.
Shouldn't taint him. Shouldn't touch him.
He just kneels there. Unmoving.
Not wanting my touch, but allowing me to go on.
I cup his cheeks with my ink smudged hands.
"I killed them." He reminds me.
I smile again.
I hold him.
It's like holding a rag doll. An inanimate thing I press against myself.
"Say my name," I sob. "Whisper it."
He smells of expensive and rare spices. A mix of clean and luxury.
And skin. Warm, warm skin.
"They begged me to spare you."
He laughs. Clearly amused.
I smile too. I push the heavy robes off his broad shoulders.
"But I don't intend to."
He still laughs.
I smile back and move to kiss him.
He turns his face from me and the kiss lands on his jaw.
His perfect jaw.
I kiss my way up to his cheekbone.
His long eyelashes fluttering against my skin like a caught butterfly.
I unbutton his clothes.
The scent of warm skin makes me dizzy.
The smoothness of him.
I forget who I am.
I forget.
With the weight of you, dear.
I forget.
"I don't intend to."
*
I wake up.
Nobody's here.
No one but me.
He was never here.
I yell and cry in frustration.
Until I'm hoarse.
Until I can only taste my tears.
Despair thick in my throat.
He was never here.
It was all a dream.
*
He enters.
They told him she had yelled and cried.
He is sorry he missed it.
She sleeps.
Dried tears upon her face.
He doesn't get closer.
Not since his fingers touched her horribly freckled cheekbone.
Never again.
She sleeps.
"Wake up."
He doesn't raise his voice. He doesn't need to.
She stirs.
A tangle of warm limbs and sheets.
Sleepy eyes stare at him. Waiting for him to vanish now that the dreams have ended.
"Now, tell me about Potter."