Rogue looked out her room's window, watching the fog roll in over the harbor. It shrouded the docks, boats and pilings, making them seem sinister and lifelike, as if the very wood itself were conspiring against the inhabitants of the sleepy little town in Maine.
Shaking her head at her own foolishness, Rogue turned from the window and looked around the darkened room. Her refuge when the nightmares became too much, the window seat of her room allowed her a comfortable spot to indulge in one of her favorite pastimes. Most people would never know it, but Rogue loved to read, and dark, foggy nights were her favorites. She'd curl up with an Arthur Conan Doyle or Jane Eyre novel in her window seat and read for hours, forgetting her troubles and escaping into the literature.
Logan had never understood her fascination with classic literature. "It's boring." He'd state over and over. What that translated to was that there were no raging gunfights, nothing was being blown up and there were no gratuitous sex scenes. Logan was all about the action and couldn't understand why anyone would want to read something that didn't have that.
Rogue felt a flash of heartache when she thought about Logan. She had really believed that things had been meant to be with them. She had hoped that all the times he had called her 'Kid', it was just a nickname, not how he really perceived her. She had prayed that he was just biding his time until she had some experience under her belt, and then he'd make his move. It would just be a matter of time when he came to her and said that he was ready for her and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her… She was the woman for him.
Imagine her surprise when he came to her and announced that he was marrying Kitty.
When Logan had come to her room that night last summer, she had believed that the moment had finally come. That now they'd be together. She cringed in humiliation when she recalled the conversation.
"Logan? What are you doing here?!"
"Marie… something happened tonight. Um, Kid, I thought maybe you should hear it from me, not… well…"
Rogue looked at him, hope flaring a bit higher. "What's going on?" She couldn't help it and smiled at him.
"Hey, Kid... I think you should sit, OK? This could take a minute."
Rogue frowned slightly, and then moved to sit on the bed. This wasn't going like she had planned. He was supposed to be sweeping her in his arms, kissing her senseless. Why was he being so hesitant? The Wolverine never hesitated…
"Look, Kid, we're close, you and I… You're a good friend. Probably my best friend."
"Uh, what're you gettin' at, sugar?"
"I'm gettin' to it, Kid! It's just… Well, I've always told things to you straight, right?"
"Yeah, I guess… I mean, you're never sweetening it just for me, if that's what you mean…."
"Yeah, exactly… I don't sugar coat it! So… Umm…"
Logan sighed and agitatedly ran a hand through his hair.
"Just spit it out, Sugar! It's not like it's gonna kill me or anything... Yeesh!"
Logan looked at Rogue and then just frowned.
"All right… Marie, Darlin'… I'm gettin' married."
Rogue felt like she had just been sucker punched in the stomach. Her breath left her in an audible rush and she could feel herself growing faint and the room began to spin. Married?! Wha…?
The next thing she was aware of was Logan pushing her head down between her knees, trying to get her to stay conscious.
Shaking him off of her, Rogue looked at him in shock. "What do you mean 'I'm getting married'?! Who is it?! Why haven't you said anything?"
Logan had the grace to look uncomfortable, but he met her eyes when he said, "Kitty."
"Kitty?!"
"Yeah… is that a problem?"
"But… But… She's younger than I am! You treat me, someone you know better than anyone else in your life, like a child! But you can look at Kitty and see a woman?!" Rogue was incensed. She had been waiting five years for this man for nothing. Now, she wanted some answers.
Logan shifted a little, hesitant to tell her how he felt. This was already going much worse than he had hoped. However, he had never lied to her before; he wasn't going to start now.
"Darlin'… I do love you. And I care for you. But… you're not for me. Kitty, she makes me want to be better. Not just for her, but for me too. I don't feel like that when I'm with you. I just want to be the best for you, Kid. Don't you see, there's a difference there?"
Rogue shook her head in denial. Kitty! Why? The emotional anguish was getting to be too much. The truth was starting to beat on her door; she'd never stood a chance. She'd passed up all of those other opportunities: Bobby, Remy, John… for absolutely nothing. Now she knew why Logan had always been after her to go out. He knew how she had felt and was trying to get her over it. He had been trying to tell her that it wasn't going to happen. God! – what a fool she was!
"When? When did it happen?"
"It started about a year ago, Kid. Remember when Xavier sent us out to Alkali Lake to see if any of the labs were left for information? Well, as you know, we got trapped for a couple of days, Kitty couldn't phase through the walls for some reason… We started talking and… well… we just 'fit', Darlin'. We didn't plan it. But we also knew that we weren't ready for others to know. The wedding is next year, Kitty wants time to plan. I'm sorry, Kid." He looked at Rogue for a moment and then said softly, "I do love you, Marie. But not like you should be loved."
Rogue looked away. She couldn't bear for him to see her heart breaking. That would be too humiliating and something she would not allow. She needed time, time to process everything. It had been too much, too quick. She felt like the ground had dropped out from under her and she was floating in space. The pain was blocking everything out, not allowing her to come to grips with anything. She needed time, she needed to think.
She needed to be anywhere but here.
Rogue finally looked at Logan. She studied his face, the sharp planes of his cheekbones, the dark eyebrows framing the deep, Mysterious eyes. She looked at his mouth, thinking how to her it had always been so sensual, knowing now that she'd never know what it felt like to press her lips against his.
"Leave."
Logan blinked, startled. "What?"
"Get out. I don't want you in here. Now."
He stared at her for a quiet minute, the hurt clearly showing on his face. Despite everything, they had always been friends, and while he hadn't expected overjoyed ecstasy in the face of his news, he hadn't expected hostility or rudeness either. Puzzled, he stood up and looked at her, memorizing her face, sensing what may be following his leaving her room.
Silently, he turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him with a quiet click. To Rogue, it may as well have been slammed, that clicked sounded so loudly in her shocked mind. At that moment, her heart completely shattered and the tears began to fall.
She had to get out of there. Now.
She jumped off of her bed and ran to her closet. She flung open the doors and grabbed her duffle and some clothes. She threw it all together, emptied her dresser drawers and gathered her toiletries. Surveying the room, she was satisfied she had everything and proceeded to mentally calculated how much money she had saved up. Definitely enough to get her a train ticket and to hold her a while until she could get work. She'd be fine.
She sat down and wrote a note, not wanting to worry 'Ro or the Professor. But she made sure that she stated that she didn't want anyone coming after her. She left the note on the desk, along with the dog tags.
When she left the mansion, she didn't look back… And didn't see Scott standing at her window, note in hand, and sadness in his eyes.
