Title: Take Me For Who I Am

Author: btRkun

Chapter: 5 – Through My Hero's eyes

Author's Notes: Wow! Almost 30 reviews for the last chapter! That's amazing! That really blew my mind! Thanks so much everyone!!! :D Also, a couple people have e-mailed me about the language and adult jokes and situations. I want to remind everyone that I gave a fair warning at the very beginning of this story about the rating. I want to remind everyone that the R rating is for people 17 years and older. Language to minors may be offensive and the adult situations may not be to your liking. This story is for mature people. I gave a warning and here is another warning. I will not give another. There will be strong language and a limey/lemony scene in this chapter.

Summary:

"Why are you running, Kagome?" Inu yasha asked seriously. He was genuinely concerned. "What happened to you in the past?" He stood up straight. She glanced at him with scared eyes.

"Nothing! Why would you say something like that?" She laughed nervously.

"You said it yourself. You said rain was freedom from your past. What happened to you? What makes you so scared of guys?" Inu asked.

"NOTHING! Nothing happened!" She yelled. "Stop prying!"

"Something did happen. I can tell." He said calmly.

"GET OVER IT!" She cried. Inu yasha wasn't able to tell if she was crying or if it was just the rain trickling down her face.

"Tell me, Kagome! I showed you the real me! Why can't you trust me when I allowed myself to trust you?" Inu yasha yelled back.

"Because there's nothing to tell! It was a long time ago! Kouga means nothing anymore!" Kagome yelled.

"Kouga? He has something to do with you being so scared? What did he do to you?" Inu yasha asked.

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Kagome hesitated and scoffed nervously. Rain still poured all around them, the wind howled ferociously. Thunder and lightning crashed and flared with warning. Kagome turned her back to Inu Yasha.

"What he did doesn't concern you. It was a long time ago. Forget it." She said quietly. Inu yasha's eyes squinted and he shook his head. He didn't believe the shit he was hearing… not one bit. Anything to make her that defensive, reclusive, refined, and emotionally torn was hardly something he could forget. He could see it eating away at her. The way she involuntarily shivered and her short, gasping, nervous gasps and the way her fingers fidgeted gave it away. She was determined to keep it bottled inside her, to let it fester until it consumed her.

"You can't say that with honesty or confidence…can you, Kagome?" He said back to her with the same calm tone she had. For a moment Inu yasha thought Kagome wasn't going to respond. His patience was quickly ebbing away with each drop of rain that fell on his head and nose.

"It doesn't concern you, Inu yasha. Butt out." Kagome's voice was forceful and she made it clear the subject was over. Inu yasha ignored the warning and began to walk to her determined to find out what had happened. 'Why do I care?' Inu yasha thought. He had never cared what these creatures felt. They were nothing but weak, sardonic, racial, pathetic humans, bent on making a hanyou or yokai's life a living hell. So why care now? 'Maybe it's because she showed you compassion? Something that's rare…' he reasoned with himself.

Inu yasha stopped just behind her. They were close enough now that he could feel Kagome's body heat. He could hear her sharp breaths and he could feel the pain she felt.

"It does concern me." Inu yasha said finally.

"Well it shouldn't. It's not like anyone else is concerned with it!" Kagome's voice began to get panicky and high pitched. She wrapped her arms around herself keeping her from the cold. She shivered violently again.

"Why are you cold? It's humid and warm." Kagome spun around and looked at Inu yasha dangerously in the eyes. They burned with sudden hatred.

"I'm always cold and I will forever be cold. I'm trapped in an eternity of cold! Nothing can warm me up!" Her voice rose a few decibels with each word that was spoken. Inu yasha's patience wore away completely leaving him the only emotion he knew well: anger.

"What the hell is the matter with you?!" He yelled. He raised his arms well up in the air. Kagome noticed the artery in his neck pop out. "I'm just trying to fucking help you! Why won't you let me?!"

"Because I am not worth it! I'm not worth the effort! I'm not worth being saved! I can't be saved, anyway!" Kagome's anger grew; she pounded Inu yasha's chest with her fists. Inu yasha began to understand and his anger soon softened and sympathized with her. He spoke to her soothingly and quietly trying to calm the rage that had quickly built inside of her as a defense against the pain.

"Damn it, Kagome. Is that what you really believe? That you're not worth saving?" Inu yasha paused and waited for her to say something. When she looked down at the sand that had gathered around her ankles he continued. "Why would you say such a thing? What the hell did Kouga do? How could he make such a happy girl, optimistic, and bright girl think such a way?" Kagome choked back a sob. She wouldn't allow herself or him have the pleasure of seeing her cry. Crying was nothing but a weakness, a doorway that had led her to her destruction.

"Just stop, Inu yasha. Please." Kagome said. She choked back another sob and soon felt her chin being lifted by Inu yasha's strong hands. He looked her in the eyes and smiled. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" Rage took over again as Kagome smacked his hand away. She took a few steps backward and yelled out another warning. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" This time she couldn't hold back the tears.

Inu yasha saw the tears start to pour down her cheeks. He instantly regretted touching her, it had only driven her away. It had driven away the only one, besides Miroku, to understand.

'Why do I see pity in his eyes? Why does he pity me?' Kagome asked herself. She didn't wait long enough to find out. She took off at a full run to avoid his stare and pity. She sobbed as she ran and she realized then that she would never be free and would always be running away.

"Kagome!" Inu Yasha yelled out to her. When Kagome didn't stop or reply he ran after her. He had to find out what was wrong and his only clue was Kouga. 'But that's not important right now.' Inu yasha thought. 'I have to catch Kagome and calm her down before something happens…'

Kagome's feet left wet tracks in the sand, and small puddles formed in them from the downpour. The running process was slow and tiresome because her feet sank every time she took a step. It required more work and soon Kagome's legs began to ache. Still she continued running as fast as she could despite the fact her lungs burned and that her heart pounded painfully against her chest. 'I have to escape.' Was the only thin she could think of.

"Kagome!" Inu yasha cried out again. He was only about ten feet behind her now and was still gaining in speed as she slowed down from exhaustion. The gap between them closed further until he was just a few feet behind her. He made a grab for the back of her dress but missed. He tried once more and again missed. Frustrated, he leaped forward and tackled her to the ground. They both landed face down in the sand. Without bothering to spit the sand out of his mouth Inu yasha laid on top of Kagome to prevent her from getting away. He held her arms and placed most of his weight on her legs to keep her from kicking him. She struggled to get away. He only held on harder.

Kagome stopped all movement while lying beneath him and cried. Inu yasha lessened his grip on her and eased his weight and said nothing while she let it all out. They stayed like that for ten minutes when Kagome's voice had gotten so hoarse she couldn't cry any longer. She looked at Inu yasha through her puffy red eyes. Inu yasha moved off of her and sat to her side.

"Why did you do that?" Kagome's voice was weak and unstable.

"Do what?" Inu yasha acted dumb. 'Perhaps' he thought 'being angry with her and trying to get Kagome to confess that way was the wrong way going about things.'

"Chase after me. Stop me." Kagome continued to lie on the sand. She turned her head away from Inu yasha to hide the tear that soon followed.

"Because I wanted to." Inu yasha replied.

"Why?" She asked again.

"You need a hero that understands what it's like to feel unwanted." Inu yasha said truthfully. Kagome laughed sardonically.

"I don't need a hero. I need people to leave me alone." Kagome said icily.

"Then you better move on the other side of the world and become a hermit, because I won't leave you alone otherwise." Inu yasha said quietly. Kagome didn't reply. Her heart ached because of his kind sentiments. She knew, however, that he would be hurt in the end if she didn't get rid of him now.

"Then I guess I better make hire someone to kill you." She forced herself to laugh. When he didn't laugh she said, "Oh come on. Lighten up!" Kagome sat up and wrapped her arms around her legs.

"It's not funny." Inu yasha said.

"What do you want from me, Inu yasha?" Kagome asked.

"The truth. Why do you run? What made you become so reclusive all of a sudden? You were so open and happy fifteen minutes ago." Kagome gave him a weak smile as a reply.

"Why did you trust me, Inu yasha? Why did you allow me to remove your cap? Why did you allow me to kiss you?" She paused. "You said I need a hero who understands. Maybe I do, but are you really that hero? How could you possibly understand?"

"Kagome…" Inu yasha started. Kagome crawled closer to him.

"Tell me! How could you possibly understand?" Kagome asked.

"I may not understand what you're going through entirely, Kagome. But I do understand how it feels to be alone, unwanted, unloved. You've already forgotten that I'm a hanyou, haven't you?" Kagome shook her head.

"My loneliness is a different feeling. You've been shunted all your life. You've been looked down upon because of who you are when the only thing different about you is your heritage. You couldn't possibly understand my loneliness."

"How do you know that when you haven't bothered to-" Inu yasha was cut off.

"I don't need to tell anyone what my loneliness is like. You can't tell someone how you feel. You have to show it." Kagome grabbed one of Inu yasha's hands and placed it over her heart just above her breast. Inu yasha flushed a little. "You don't know this loneliness because you've never felt it. You've never felt or experienced love. You don't know what it's like to be stabbed right here!" Kagome pushed his hand against her chest even harder.

"Heh. You're right. I haven't had the privilege of experiencing love. So I don't understand." Inu yasha said sadly.

"You won't understand until it happens to you." Kagome released his hand and closed her eyes. The rain had slowed down by this point, but was still coming down hard.

"Can you at least try to explain it to me? Or at least what happened?" Inu yasha asked hopefully.

"In eighth grade, Inu yasha, my father passed away. He was the principal of a very prestigious school and I went to that school. Soon after he passed away the school filed bankruptcy, and I switched to a public school and met Ayame, Tea, Miroku, and Sango. We became very close friends quickly. I also met Kouga then and back then he was hot stuff. Strutting around the school like he owned everything and everyone. It was infatuation, I realize now, but I thought it was love. Back then I was really naive, inexperienced, and especially lonely because of my father's death. When he asked me out I thought I died and went to heaven." Kagome paused.

"Go on." Inu yasha coaxed on.

"I was in a rebound relationship." Kagome held back a sob. "I felt wanted and not lonely for the first time in a long while, it was the most wonderful feeling. Even though I felt wanted and loved I still felt miserable. I went to Kouga thinking he could pinpoint my distress. He said it was nothing and asked if I wanted to go to a party that night. I said sure thinking I could get away from the nagging suspicion that something was wrong. " Kagome stopped, obviously reluctant to go on.

"What happened?" Inu yasha had a pretty good idea what had happened, but he didn't want to admit it to himself or to Kagome. He had to be supportive.

"Sometime during the party Kouga slipped Special K into my glass of water. I didn't want to drink the beer the people at the party offered." Inu yasha's face contorted and he had the urge to go find Kouga and slug him in the face. He refrained for Kagome's sake. "I didn't know it of course, not until later that night. It couldn't have been long after I was doped up on the crap that he led me to a bedroom upstairs. We made out, kissed, touched, and when we were just about to…you know…go all the way," Kagome blushed deeply. "Ayame came in and said my brother had pneumonia and was in the hospital. Kouga's friend drove us there and mom made me get a drug and alcohol test because I was acting really weird. It wasn't until the next day that she confronted me about taking Special K. I'm still devastated that someone would take advantage of me like that. Especially right after my father passed away. He knew it too! He knew what he was doing! I didn't!" Kagome began to get defensive again as the tears began to pour from her eyes. "I didn't realize he was planning to score with me! I didn't know he put those drugs in my drink! I didn't know! I didn't know!" Inu yasha put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her in for a hug. He said words of comfort as her tears once again racked her body.

"You do know that's attempted rape, right? You told your mom?" Inu yasha said.

"Of course I did. I'm not some stupid girl who's too embarrassed to tell anyone. Of course I told mom. She believed me and filed a report. By the time the police got around to investigate the house the party was held at everything was clean and the owners of the house denied everything! They questioned Kouga but claimed he was victim of the drug too!"

"How do you know he wasn't?" Inu yasha asked.

"I had only one drink that night and I watched him get it from the faucet in the kitchen. He was the only one around." Kagome swallowed and hugged Inu yasha back. Kagome thought how he had let her talk without interruption, how he immediately believed her, how he didn't question her about what Kouga did with her. Kagome liked how he didn't push her too far and ask too much. She liked the feel of his arms around her. She liked how perfectly her head rested in the crook of his neck. She liked how he spoke softly and was patient. But she didn't like how close they were becoming in such a short time. Would he take advantage of her like the last time she got this close to a guy? Kagome wondered silently to herself and didn't say anything. She didn't want to ruin the moment.

Inu yasha trailed a few fingers up and down her back; his nails grazed gently down her spine. He was at a loss of words. Nothing came to mind. How could someone go through such and ordeal and still be so courageous? How is it possible that she trusted anyone? She was violated.

"Inu yasha?" Kagome whispered. She gently pushed away from him to properly look him in the eyes.

"Please don't tell anyone. I don't even know why I told you." She chuckled a little. "It's just something about you that I can't help but trust."

"Despite the fact I'm a hanyou, you still trust me?" Inu yasha asked. Kagome nodded and reached up to move the silver hair from his face, which was stuck there from all the rainwater. Inu yasha grabbed her hand before she could reach his face and brought it to his lips. He gently placed a kiss on each finger. Kagome felt the blush rise from her neck to her cheeks.

"Inu yasha? Tell me…what was it like growing up as…as a hanyou?" She cocked her head to the side. Inu yasha's smile faded and he looked down at his bare feet, as if they had the answers.

"Think of what happened to you, multiply it tenfold and live through the pain your entire life. You realize that you have to lead a secret life in order to fit in as best you can. Anger is the only other emotion you know well. Anger at your mother. Anger at your father. Anger at innocent people. Anger at yourself." Inu yasha stopped.

"Does anyone else know? I mean, besides myself?" Kagome questioned. She wanted to know if he had trusted her just as much as she had him. She needed to know if his secret was just as secret as her own secret was.

"Miroku is the only other person that knows." He paused, grinned and continued. "And of course the occasional person I want to scare shitless." Kagome laughed and pointed to the sky. The rain had stopped for the most part, only occasional raindrops dripped from the now scarce clouds. The sky was dark and the half-moon glowed brightly from above.

"Every star in the sky glitters and sparkles and shines. It's as if they are so confident that they are the brightest star, that there is no equal, no competitor. It's like they are oblivious of the other stars." Kagome paused. "I envy them." Inu yasha looked at her thoughtfully.

"Kagome, each star we see has something unique about them. Something that sets them apart from one another and that's what makes them shine. We need to do that as well."

"I don't know, Inu Yasha! You stand out pretty well from everyone else!" She said. Kagome reached up to rub his ears; they were as soft as velvet. She noticed that Inu yasha's entire face had turned crimson before he backed away growling lightly. Kagome was confused. "What?"

Inu yasha stood up and turned his back to Kagome. He cleared his through before answering.

"Rubbing a hanyou's ears is like…" His voice faltered with embarrassment. "…is like rubbing…um…you know… like rubbing something below…just south of my…my belt." Inu yasha said the last bit very quickly.

Kagome sat on the sand realizing what she had done. Her own face turned as red as a tomato and she giggled nervously.

"S…sorry, Inu yasha. I," She swallowed. "I had no idea, hehe…he…hehe." Kagome fidgeted with her dress out of nervousness. She didn't look at him even though she knew he was looking at her. This made Kagome blush even more.

"Not your fault." Inu yasha replied after a moment of silence. Inu yasha turned around and smiled at Kagome who was still looking at the sand and fidgeting with her dress. He rolled his eyes fully irritated now and bent down to grab Kagome's hand. He pulled her up without much difficulty and without letting her hand go he began to walk back towards the boardwalk with Kagome tagging along behind.

Kagome walked quickened her pace to keep up with his long strides; from the corner of her eyes Kagome stared at Inu yasha. She noticed how his eyebrows remained furrowed and how his mouth seemed to be stuck between a permanent grin and a permanent frown. She grinned and looked forward in denial. She didn't understand how someone like him, a guy with a horrible reputation, could be so kind and understanding. She couldn't help but like the wild side of him, the hanyou side, but she wondered it that's all it was.

They walked together in silence for most the way. Off and on they would ask each other irrelevant questions as a result of nervousness. They didn't know how to react or behave around each other.

The bed and breakfast came into view all too soon. Kagome sighed realizing she would have to leave Inu yasha and go back to the real world. She knew she wouldn't have been able to stay in this dream world forever. After all, every dream eventually comes to an end.

Inu yasha slowed his pace considerably. He remembered that he still had to ask Kagome out and get her to say yes. 'Asking a girl out was never this difficult and nerve racking… why now?' he thought. In the past it was always easy. See a pretty girl, ask her out, show her a good time, and take her back to his place and then that was that. Why was it so hard now?

"Shit!" Inu yasha suddenly stopped walking and patted the top of his head and tried to take off his shades. All he did, however, was manage to poke himself in the eye and pat one of his ears. "Crap crap crap!" he cursed.

"What? What's wrong?" Kagome wondered.

"Where are my shades and where…where is my hat?" Inu yasha turned around in a full circle looking at the ground all around. Kagome held up her other hand, which held his hat..

"I don't know where your shades went, but here's your hat. Don't worry. It's dark out, no one will notice." Kagome said. Inu yasha grabbed his hat and placed it on his head hurriedly. He cleared his throat and Kagome noticed his cheeks turn a pale shade of red. He didn't look at Kagome; instead he turned his head pretending to be interested in the people passing by on his left.

"Kagome? How are you going to be staying here? At the shore, I mean." Inu yasha asked.

"Just the weekend. Miroku, Ayame, Tea and I will be driving back on Sunday night. Why?" Kagome asked.

"Well I was just wondering something." Inu yasha stopped talking. He could feel his blush deepen. He was just thankful that Kagome couldn't see.

"Go on…" Kagome urged him on.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to do something Sunday. Just you and me; I know there's a paintball place not too far from here. You wanna go?"

"Oh!" Kagome was taken back surprised. She didn't know how to answer. Everything in her right mind told her to say no. But there was that annoying voice inside her head that wanted to say yes.

"Kagome? What do you say?" Inu yasha asked.

"Umm… I," Kagome paused and took in a sharp breath. What should she say? Kagome knew what she should say, but she couldn't bring herself to say it. "I don't think I can, Inu yasha. Ayame and I were planning on doing something, just us, on Sunday."

"What about tomorrow?" Inu yasha asked. He knew what the answer would be, but he still had to try.

"No, I don't think I can tomorrow either. I have plans already." Kagome replied. She knew she would regret saying no, but she wasn't able to bring herself to say yes.

"What about sometime next weekend?" Inu yasha pressed.

"We'll see. I don't know if I have anything planned."

"Okay then. Talk to you soon!" Inu yasha smiled and hurriedly planted a small kiss on Kagome's cheek before running off without looking back, partly because his face burned with embarrassment. Kagome stood there stunned with her own face flushing just as much. Then she smiled.

Sorry that took so long everyone! And sorry it's a shorter chapter than I would have like it to be! I'm working on another new story and the first chapter will be posted the same time this one is! It's called Haunting Betrayal and is also an AU fic featuring my favorite couple, Inu Yasha and Kagome! Yay! So please read that when you get a chance! The plot is a lot more original and I think it may end up being longer than this one! Ack! So please read and review and thanks again!!!