So here's the last chapter of Take Me for Who I Am! Ta da! I hope you guys won't be too disappointed with how it ends. I don't even like how it ends but I couldn't just have Inu yasha walk up to Kagome and say 'Sorry! Will you forgive me?' And then have them kiss and make up. That would be way too unrealistic. Anyway, Game of Submission is going to be finished, I'm just sorry that it's taking so long. My newest story, Be My Angel Again, will be out soon. I'm almost finished with the first chapter. I'll finish those two short stories first before I start my next long one. Anyway, read and review and thank you, all of you, for reading and being patient!
Take Me for Who I Am
Chapter 10: Shame and Blame
It was one of those sappy movie moments. You know, pouring rain and depressing background music? Yeah, well that's how Kagome felt that moment. It was raining again, and though that oddly made her feel better it just made her even more depressed remembering the last two times it rained. And she swore she heard sad music far off in the distance.
Well, whatever, it didn't matter anymore. After hearing what Hojo had to say she stood there stunned. It was a game after all. That crazy old bat was wrong. Kagome didn't know what to do just then. Her hands had shook, her eyes had watered, and she bit her lip trying and failing to prevent herself from crying and falling to pieces.
So you know what she did? She stared Hojo in the eye, snarled in a most 'typical youkai' way and slapped him as hard as she could. She called him a bastard and turned on her heel and started walking home alone.
And that's where she is right now. On her way back home. There was no way she could describe how she was feeling right then. It wasn't despair. It wasn't hatred. It wasn't stupidity or even disappointment. She was empty. Void of all emotion.
Kagome fell into that blank stupor she was in before she met that lady and that flaming red haired boy and sinister man that sent shivers down her spine. She continued walking slowly down the sidewalk without watching where she was going. She never once contemplated suicide…hell no. She would bounce back; she always did when something horrible happened. And if it did happen to take a couple years like last time then so be it.
Kagome sighed dispiritedly at the thought.
"Perk up, Kag!" She told herself. "Remember Nasaki? Her first time? She said it was so horrible and painful that she told her mom and she made her go to the doctor!" Kagome tried to laugh at the thought. "But I never thought my first time would go so wrong…"
Kagome's eyes prickled with tears and her vision was soon glazed over and they started to fall silently down her cheek.
Inu yasha turned around slowly and headed back into the school.
"Where're you going Inu yasha?" Miroku asked. Inu yasha didn't stop and continued up the stairs into the building.
"I'm gonna find the little shit that ruined everything…oh wait a sec… I AM THE LITTLE SHIT THAT RUINED EVERYTHING!" He suddenly roared startling everyone. They all jumped a bit and Sango chewed her bottom lip as the door to the school closed with such force the glass broke.
No one said a word and soon Inu yasha came bounding out of the door again with his backpack. He snarled at Miroku who tried to stop him and began to run at top speed towards Kagome's home where he was sure she was going to be.
Miroku shrugged his shoulders at Sango's disappointed glare and looked at where Inu yasha had been sitting just a few moments before. All around the large tree was some paper littered on the ground. Miroku, being the goody-two-shoes he was picked up the trash and proceeded to the garbage can before something caught his eye.
All the while Inu yasha thought and thought and thought…about the other little shit that blurted everything out. The little shit that had let it slip that they had been "together" that night at the shore.
His eyebrows furrowed as confusion settled in trying to remember any movements, and smells, anything…anything that had seemed out of place when they were doing he knew his and her mommies would not be proud of.
But nothing stood out. Nothing at all.
He remembered it being quiet, save for the horrible storm that was raging outside.
He remembered smelling the large snickers bar he pulled out of the mini fridge and the pine scent of the room and even the hotel soap and the rain water from her wet skin, but nothing out of the ordinary.
He remembered and recounted all the movements he took and she took. From the couch to the bathroom to the fridge to the window to the bed. But nothing else moved other than them.
And Inu yasha sure as hell knew he hadn't told anyone, not even Miroku. And strangely enough he trusted Kagome so much to know she wasn't lying when she said she hadn't told anyone.
Kouga was long gone by then; otherwise he would have smelled him. And the others were in their beds at the hotel room. So who knew then?
Inu yasha stopped at the corner and waited for the car to pass by. He lifted his extra sensitive nose in the air and sniffed ferociously trying to distinguish Kagome's distinct scent from all the others.
He couldn't quite remember how to get to her house. Sure his smelling was way above average, even for a youkai, his hearing was even better, but when it came to his memory…he was just like everyone else unless it involved a specific scent or touch or taste.
It took a few moments to sort out the multitudes of scents, from smog to cigarette smoke, from gasoline to coffee, from one person to another…. Eventually, though, he smelled Kagome and her tears. His lips curled downward into a frown. She was crying. Forcefully too.
Inu yasha closed his eyes in disgust. It was bad enough when he saw a girl cry, it was even worse that he knew it was him who made a girl cry. He hated himself more than he did Kouga just then.
With new found determination Inu yasha jogged in the direction Kagome was headed and vowed to not stop looking until he found her and tried to redeem himself. He couldn't lose her right after he just got her. He just couldn't lose her.
Kagome stood still in front of the long steps that led up to her shrine in silence not wanting to go in just yet, not wanting to face anyone just yet, not wanting to exist just yet. Her mother would ask questions and that would lead to awkward situations and that was the last she wanted right then.
Crouching down to sit on one of the steps Kagome thought of that night. How could she have been so stupid to realize what was happening? She was too caught up in feeling euphoric that she didn't even notice that it might not be her Inu yasha had wanted. How could it have been?
Kagome let out a small pathetic whimper at her own stupidity and carelessness. How could she let herself get caught in that trap all over again? How could she let herself feel so special all over again because of a guy? How could they make her feel so…wanted?
Her eyes glazed over again with unshed tears. She felt so worthless, pathetic, unwanted, and unloved. There was no way anyone could understand how she felt. It was unutterable.
The tears came at once, wracking her body until it shook with uncontrollable sobs. Then the hiccups came and more shaking. Her arms wrapped themselves around her legs in a protective shield, her feet just barely hovering above the ground.
It seemed an eternity for her sobs to subside leaving her feeling woeful and even more pathetic. She sat there on the steps for what seemed like hours.
The sky was finally beginning to glow a faint pink by the time she stood up and walked up the endless steps to her home and awaiting mother. Kagome turned her face away in embarrassment knowing she would have to tell her mother the truth eventually. Girls don't go to school happy and come home utterly depressed the same day. A blush crawled up her neck into her cheeks in remembrance.
"Won't hurt to be by myself a little longer, will it? Mama will probably think I'm having fun with Ayame, Tea, and Sango for the evening. Or…or maybe even studying. I could call from a payphone…." She shook her head in disbelief. Purposefully lying to her mother to avoid the situation further, was she really so pitiful that she couldn't even tell her own mother the truth anymore? "I think I'll just go sit on the Goshinboku tree for a while."
The Goshinboku tree was Kagome's favorite place to be alone. It was somewhere that made her feel calm and at ease, no matter how horrible she felt. She also knew it was a place where she knew she wouldn't be interrupted.
Before Kagome knew it, she was standing in front of the Goshinboku tree. She started to climb the tree. Peace and serenity washed over her in waves. She felt strangely calm and though she wasn't happy she still felt at ease and unaware of the world.
She sat there, on one of the lower branches towards the back of the tree to hide her from the view of the shrine, for a while just thinking about the things that have recently happened despite her efforts to stay away. Curiously enough, her thoughts always strayed back towards one person in particular. It was impossible for her to understand how he could have toyed with her emotions without any guilt or without any subconscious level telling him it was wrong.
"How could this have happened?" She muttered angrily at herself. "How? How? How? How?!" Kagome banged her fists against the tree in rage succeeding in getting a rather large splinter. She let out a yelp of pain that startled her so much that she began to fall out of the tree.
Waving her arms around frantically to catch her balance did nothing except to help lose her footing. From there everything went into slow motion as she fell from the tree. Her stomach did flip flops as she fell with increasing speed. Thankfully there weren't any other branches in the way on her way down to the ground.
It was one of those times where she wished her life was a fairytale and her prince charming would show up just in the nick of time to catch her and sweep her off her feet. Unfortunately her vivid imagination left after the whole Kouga ordeal and she fell ceremoniously to the ground and landed on her behind with a rather large 'thump'.
"Owwy…" Sharp jolts of pain ran up and down her spine starting at the tailbone. Kagome groaned and cursed, so blackly it would have made a sailor gasp, as she rubbed her back end with her eyes squinted tightly shut.
It was only then did she notice the shuffle of feet coming towards her at a steady pace. Strong hands grabbed her underarms and helped hoist her off the bit of dirt next to the Goshinboku and over the small fence that surrounded the ancient tree.
Kagome's heart skipped a beat as she inhaled a familiar scent. Her back became rigid as fear gripped her heart in a mighty death grip. But the funny thing of this was that she wasn't nearly as nervous or afraid as she thought she would be. So instead she tried being angry and faced him with all the strength she could muster.
Inu yasha watched as he saw the girl fall out of the tree from the corner of his eye. He expected her to be in her room, not in a tree. It was smart of her to do so since the flowers that bloomed on the tree masked her scent effectively. He smiled to himself thinking if she did that intentionally or by accident. Probably the latter.
He couldn't help but feel all warm and fuzzy all over like he usually did when she was near. Even in this type of situation he marveled at how wonderful her presence made him feel, yet immediately this thought darkened as he picked her up from the ground when he felt her form stiffen greatly. Fear swamped his senses and inwardly he grimaced at the obvious fear he had caused her.
Once back on her feet he smelled her fear turn to anger and at once she turned to face him. He winced at the puffy red eyes, her pale complexion, and smeared mascara.
He expected her to scream. He expected her to yell some more. He expected Kagome to turn away again and possibly even run away. What he didn't expect, though, was for her to grab his hand and drag him to a small house away further away from her home and any onlookers.
She dragged Inu yasha to the door of this small house and opened it without any trouble. The rusty hinges creaked and groaned from the sudden pressure being put on the old rotting wood of the door.
Kagome dragged the startled Inu yasha into a dark room with a well and faced him once more. This time she smacked him as hard as she could and in an angry whisper she yelled at him.
"How dare you show your face here! How dare you even look me in the eyes!"
Inu yasha stretched his jaw and rubbed his cheek before replying.
"I deserved that…" He said finally.
"You deserve a lot more than that, asshole! Go away! Leave me alone! I hate your guts! How could you do that?" Kagome ranted on and on and slapped him again. She fisted her hands into tight balls and pounded on his chest and chewed her lip until it bled crimson, she started grinding her teeth and biting the inside of her cheek and even stomped on his foot to get her point across.
Inu yasha calmly took the poor girl's rage in silence. It didn't hurt really… physically anyway. He let her pound and yell and slap and stomp, and even cry. He didn't flinch, move, or budge one bit.
It took a while for it all to end, for her to exhaust herself from the overexertion. When it was finally over Inu yasha felt so low that he wished he was never born.
His ears, normally twitching this way and that in search of any and all sounds, were pinned to his head, his face looked at the floor and his eyes were closed. He's been beaten up before, but never emotionally, and it hurt more than any physical pain could ever hurt him. He wondered how this poor girl could take such abuse.
Kagome fell to her knees with tears silently trailing a wet line down the curve of her cheek.
"Why? Why, why, why, why? Why?" Was as she could say, yet it was so quiet that even Inu yasha's fantastic hearing had trouble picking it up.
"I didn't, Kagome, I swear."
"You fucking liar." She said just as quietly as before.
"I don't expect you to believe me, Kagome."
"Which I don't." She assured him.
"But I didn't tell anyone. I didn't use you. I could never do something like that. If I did then why am I here?" He brought up a good point, Kagome thought. But she wouldn't be convinced that easily.
"To make me believe you did nothing then flaunt it and rub it in my face when you make a sap of me a second time."
"I would never…"
"How would I know that?" Kagome looked up at him and was surprised to meet a pair of sorrowful amber eyes. She looked away regretfully.
"None of it was a lie, Kagome. I really do like you…a lot. I would never have gone that far with a girl I barely knew if I wasn't so sure."
"Bullshit."
"It's the truth!"
"You're such a fucking player, Inu yasha! You probably have multiple girlfriends already waiting for you back at your place!"
"That's not true." Inu yasha's blood began to boil with anger. He had never met anyone as stubborn as him before.
"Like hell it is."
"Kagome. Listen to me. You've heard rumors that I'm a player. That I've fucked every girl in school, right?"
"So you admit it!"
"NO!" He suddenly yelled. Kagome jumped. "Do you honestly think that I can keep what I am a secret if I've fucked every girl in school? Do you really think I like to reveal what I am to just any random girl?"
"It's still bullshit, Inu yasha."
"What is?" Inu yasha crouched down to pick up her chin with his long fingers. He could tell she was starting to believe him, but it would probably take a hell of a lot more convincing.
"How could you gloat? How could you tell everyone and then laugh about it and say I was the best ass you've ever had? How? Why? How?"
There it was. Simple and plain. She had believed him all along, Inu yasha suddenly realized.
"You think I told everyone that shit?"
"How could you not? I'm not the type of girl to do a threesome…there were only two people on that room that night. And unless I somehow managed to convince everyone that I'm you then all the evidence points to you!"
Inu yasha sighed and looked away from her.
"How can I convince you to believe me? How can I get you to forgive me?"
"You can't, not without some damn good evidence that it wasn't you." Suddenly Inu yasha smiled sweetly and stood up leaving a confused Kagome still on the ground next to the well.
"Is that all you need?" This time Inu yasha grinned. "Would you like me to get a silver platter to go along with it?" Kagome squinted her eyes in confusion and watched as Inu yasha put his hand into his pocket and pulled out a rumpled and dirty piece of paper.
"Miroku found this 'bout a half hour ago. He took a bus to get it to me before I got to you." Inu yasha handed the piece of paper to Kagome who accepted it hesitantly. She opened up the paper and smoothed out all the creases before reading.
Her expression grew dark immediately as she recognized the handwriting. It grew darker as she read the message on the paper.
"S-Sorry, Kagome. I didn't do it, sorry to break it to you who actually did." Inu yasha looked away guiltily.
"There's no way Ayame would do something like this! Why would she do that? She didn't know."
"She made up the rumor, never knowing that it was actually real. Well…most of it was real anyway." Inu yasha put his hands up defensively as Kagome sent him a glare.
Kagome felt strangely relieved as she read the disturbing made-up rumor.
"That would explain why she's always been so jealous whenever guys pay attention to me and not her." Inu yasha chuckled at Kagome's response. "I should feel angry about this. But I'm not. Why?" She paused for a few moments to think about all the times something has gone wrong between her friends. It was just then did she realize that Ayame was the cause of a lot of them. She never told Ayame she knew it was her that threw her backpack into the river because Kagome was chosen for class president instead of her. And then there was the time Ayame made fun of Sango's brother saying he was retarded when it was in fact Ayame's brother who was born with Down Syndrome. And then there was the time… the list went on and on, and Kagome understood why she didn't feel angry about this. It was just another "thing" that Ayame had done.
"Inu yasha?"
"Hn?"
"I'm sorry. Sorry for doubting you."
"Don't be, Kagome. It's not your fault. You didn't know any better. Neither did I." Kagome suddenly gave Inu yasha the first true smile since that morning. And it made him feel like a million bucks.
"Does that mean you'll go out with me still?" Inu yasha said quietly.
He received an evil glare from Kagome before she stood up and walked straight passed him and out of the little hut. She stopped right outside the doorway, looked back at him in the eyes and grinned. "I'll think about it." She said. And she continued walking with Inu yasha following behind her. She didn't notice that he hadn't stopped smiling after her last comment, nor did she notice the way he gave Miroku, who was hiding behind the Goshinboku, a thumbs up and mouthed 'Mission Accomplished.'
Hmm, not sure I like the ending all too much. But I didn't know how else to end it. Once again I wanna thank all of those who have continued to read my story and for those who have reviewed. It's been fun, but now I must depart. Wait for my newest story to come out and keep watching (and waiting ^^; ) for Game of Submission to be updated! Ja!
Jet To Brazil: Sorry for not beating Kouga up some more, lol. Hope I didn't disappoint you otherwise.
Shanaka: Any suggestions are always welcome. Especially since I keep changing my mind and what I want to do for that story.
Sangochan: Thanks very much ^^; I believe I still have a ways to go before I can become a pretty good author, but I try.
CherryBlossomStorm102: Lol, really? It's one of my favorite movies too. Go ahead and make another one. It's not like the whole idea hasn't been done before me.
Tetsusaiga: *backs away* Gomen! Please don't be too angry!!! Sorry it took so long! I've started to question my sanity after 10 weeks of being stuck in a hotel room so it hasn't been easy!!!
Ookami-Youkai1: LOL! I can't tell you how much I laughed at your review. Funny thing is…I did consider that!
Ama-chan: Abusive Complications? Hmm, I like that story title. I'll keep it in mind. Thankies!
Munkystyle: Sniff Sniff…that's right. All he really wanted was some love! *cries*
Merayna: A lecherous monk, eh? Hmmm…sounds tempting. *grins*
LtlSwimmerGurl : Kagome? Go with Hojo? In my story? HA!
DragonTamer9741: Uhh…I get the point. ^^; Did you know that you typed (or copy/pasted) 'update' 290 times? ^^; Sheesh.