Hahaha! Ok, if anyone ever goes to www.Bolt.com and join an RPG club called Harry Potter Forever, you'll find the following people:


Arwen_24601 (Arwen, Head of Slytherin)

Polikwaptiwa (Manda, Slytherin)

Gemini_1212 (Gem, prefect of Slytherin)

BookWormBabe521 (Syd, prefect of Hufflepuff)

Koala_baby (Becca, Head of Hufflepuff)

LaFemmeImmortal (Kay, Slytherin)

peace_bubble (Carrie, Gryffindor)

mission_myst (Damian, Ravenclaw)

cheepoo16 (Kirsten of Gryffindor)

Luvin_MxPx (Summer of Slytherin...that's me ^_^)


Arwen owns a shop in the Hogsmeade club called Madam Arwen's Apothecary. In that store, we all decided to make up a story about me marrying Severus Snape. We started a fic, not knowing exactly what to expect. I thought I'd post it in here, only because it's one of the funniest things I've ever read :)


*NOTE- There are some jokes in here about a lil online comic called Teen Girl Squad. Go here to see it (it's really funny):


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"Summer Love"


An original composition by whoever contributed!


******


It was a lazy summer day; the sun was out, the birds were singing, and Arwen, Gem, and Summer were hidden away in their dungeon common room. Summer was staring at her latest purchase, A Guide to Medieval Sorcery, and murmuring some incantation under her breath. Gem sat in a big comfy chair in the corner, reading her copy of Moste Potente Potions, and smirking. Arwen sat by the fire rapidly knitting a very colorful scarf.

Arwen looked up and sighed, and packed up her knitting materials. "Hey-do you guys wanna come down to my shop with me? I gotta check on it."

"Mmmkay" said Gem, shutting her book.

"Sounds good" said Summer, standing up and stretching.

The three headed out of the common room and up the dungeon stairs. In the entrance hall, they met Syd.

"Hey Syd, waazup?" asked Summer.

"I was just headed to The Three Broomsticks for a drink." replied Syd.

"Great-we're going to Hogsmeade too."


And the four girls headed out. Heading towards the shops, they saw Professor Snape walking into Arwen's Apothecary. Summer stared after him. Breaking the silence, Arwen said, "Well, it looks like I'm finally doing some business!"

And the others followed her to the shop. They entered and saw Snape hovering like a bat over the barrel of snake fangs.

"Uh, anything I can help you with there, Professor?" asked Summer stepping forward.

"No, and do you even work here?" responded Snape coldly.

"Well I…I know quite a deal about potions!" said Summer defensively as she backed away, turning red…

Meanwhile, Arwen and Gem were trying to persuade Syd to stay.

"We'll go to The Three Broomsticks later," Gem told her. "Just wait here with us for a while." Syd nodded her head, and Arwen snickered.

"What are you laughing about?" asked Syd.

Arwen pointed over towards Snape and Summer.

"Aha!" said Gem. "I KNEW it! Summer has the hots for Snape!"

"Eww..." said Syd. "I know you're Slytherins...and you probably think he's cool...but ewwww...he's like 40 years older than her."

"Yeah that is kinda creepy," Arwen agreed, and she stopped snickering. Her amused face quickly turned to a look of disgust. Gem, however, was still smiling brightly.

"I think it's cute," she replied. "Snape could use a woman."

"Yes," said Syd, "a WOMAN. Not a teen girl."

"Meh," Gem shrugged. "It's still cute."

Arwen and Syd both shook their heads at Gem. They all turned around as a sound was heard coming from the door of the shop. They each smiled, hoping that it was a customer, but alas! 'twas just the wind. Arwen looked out the window. A tumbleweed skidded past the shop. "Man," she said with a sigh. "We need more people in here."

"So let's have a party!" said Syd. "Dancing, potions, music...s'all good!"

But before either Gem or Arwen could respond, they heard something that literally left them guffawing. It came from Summer and Snape. The three girls turned around only to see....


Amanda sitting in the corner. Yes. She had returned.

"Where have you been," Summer demanded.

"Oh a mission given to me by the Dark Lord," Amanda said as she strightened her robes, "I come back and here that you wanna get it on with Snape. I should have stayed away."

"I don't want to 'get it on' with him...I don't think," replied Summer.

"Whatever...we have a party to plan. Perhaps you can woo him there," Amanda said.

She then turned and yelled at Gem, "Put your sandwich board back on DAMNIT!"

"I most certinaly will not!" Gem almost screeched at Amanda. "Do you KNOW how big my hips look with that thing on???"

"Yes, I do. Exactly why I'm going to force you to put it on!" Amanda said, starting to take a run for Gem.

"eep!" Gem exclaimed and went running behind Syd.

"You can't make her wear that thing! I dont blame her for not wanting to wear it..." Syd said.

"Oh - but we could make her if we wanted to..." said Arwen. "We just need a bit of glue" - she picked up a thing of Krazy Glue - "and a bit...of cooperation..."


"We could put one on both of them! Extra Advertising for your shop, Arwen!" said Amanda excited.

"Oh yes! Lets!" Arwen said. And with that, Arwen and Amanda started Chasing Syd and Gem around with krazy glue and pice pieces of - er - wood? cardboard? whatever sandwich boards are made out of. Syd going this way, Gem going that, everything starting to get rather crazy.

"Alright, snapey-poo - nows our chance..." and with that Summer and her, er, snapey-poo sneaked out the door.

The next thing you know...

"Hold it!" yelled Gem. "I thought this fic was about Summa, not trying to get Syd and I to wear those stupid sandwich boards again!"

"Yea, well-" Amanda said

"Wait!" screamed Syd. "Where'd Summa and Snape go?"

"Crap, we gotta find em!" Arwen said.

"Why?" Asked Amanda whilst rummaging through a barrel of lacewing flies. "Didn't Summa want some 'alone time' with Snape anywho?"

"It's Professor Snape to you" Snape snapped, walking out of the backroom.

"Uh.. Professor? What were you doing back there?" Arwen asked tentatively. But before he could answer, or make an excuse not to answer, Summer also walked out of the backroom, her face a little pink.

"I'm just going to the TTB real quick guys, I'll be back later," she said quickly and made her way towards the exit. Then she stopped and turned around "Coming Severus?" she asked, blushing even more. Snape looked slightly confused but then followed Summer out the door. Syd, Arwen, Gem, and Amanda, just stared with open-mouths.

The Apothecary's door closed with a bang and Arwen fell to the floor and began to shake.

"OMG Arwen are you alright?" asked Gem as she knelt beside Arwen. Upon closer inspection, however, the three girls saw that Arwen was really just giggling madly. Amanda began to laugh so hard tears came to her eyes.

"This is too funny to be true!" cried Amanda.

"Yeah it is." said Syd, somewhere between disgust and amusement.

"Ok guys," began Arwen, finally getting up off the floor, "Time to do some spying."

"But isn't that wrong?" asked Syd.

"Yeah." said Amanda. "Hey Arwen-I've got an invisibility cloak we can all fit under."

"Excellent!" said Gem. So Amanda whipped out the cloak which she apparently carried around with her, and the four girls got under it. Moving towards the door, Syd looked back.

"Hey Arwen, I didn't know you had a back room."

"Me either," shrugged Arwen, "I guess it's there when ya need it!"

So the girls made their way to the Three Broomsticks and when they entered, it was as crowded and noisy as ever. Suddenly, Gem screamed "JACK" and threw off the cloak. Arwen, Amanda, and Syd watched in bewilderment as Gem dashed up to the bar and hopped up on a stool next to Pirates of the Caribbean's Jack Sparrow.

"Ooookay." said Amanda. Then Syd nudged Arwen and Amanda and pointed. In the corner sat Snape with a beverage of an alcoholic nature. Chica was standing next to him talking, and then she gave him a pat on the shoulder and went back to the bar. The three girls pulled up chairs and sat down across from Snape…

The three girls remained silent as Snape began to cry. He shook his head, guzzled his alkeyhol, and pounded the table with his fists. Chica quickly returned.

"Oh, there there, Sevy-wevy!" she said, patting him on the shoulder again. "Are you ready to tell me what Summer did to you yet?"

Snape sniffled back tears and slightly nodded his head. Looking back up at Chica, he replied in a very shaky, forlorn voice, "She rejected me!"

"Rejected you?" asked Chica. "Rejected exactly, erm...what...of you?"

"Oh don't act like you don't know," Snape answered darkly.

The three girls under the invisibility cloak stood silent and still, awaiting the rest of the tale.

"Um..." Chia replied uneasily. "You do know that Summer's barely even 17 years old, right?"

"Yes," Snape sighed dreamily, "But she's so mature and sexy for her age."

Chica and the three girls under the invisibility cloak all shuddered and had the urge to leave Snape alone. "What a weirdo," Manda mouthed to Arwen and Syd.

"Um, sure," chica replied, "but she's not legal. She's jail bait, mate."

"Well she seemed eager to be with me during detention," Snape replied with a sniffle.

Chica didn't reply, but had a ghastly look upon her face. "Well," she replied, "Summa's always been lacking in moral fibre..."

"But she sure knows a lot about the Polyjuice Potion," Snape replied with an oddly shaped smile upon his face.

"That's hardly a substitute," Chica replied slowly.

Snape downed the rest of his drink. Chica quickly stood up to get him another one.

*1 hour later*

"AND I DON'T WANNA MISS A THIIING!" Snape sang, trying his best to sound like Steven Tyler. "Cuz even when I dream of Summa, the sweetest dream would never *hiccup* dooooo....noo no no nooooo..." He was very drunk, leaning against the three broomstick's kareoke piano.

"Poor guy," said Manda, a look of pity upon her face. She, Syd, and Arwen were no longer under the cloak. They were sitting at a table, watching Snape pour his heart out with the rest of TTB's customers.

"I wonder what's up with him and Summer," said Syd, shaking her head with confusion. "She must have really played him."

"Well, she's quite the playa," said Racy A.

"Playa?" said Summer, walking up behind their table. "Wouldn't be talkin about me, now wouldja?"

"No," Manda, Syd, and Arwen all quickly replied. They looked around at one another with guilty looks.

Summer ignored them, however, and looked up to the stage. "Oh no..." she muttered as she saw Snape singing loudly into the kareoke microphone.

"Summer," asked Arwen, "What did you do to the poor man?"

Summer took a deep breath and replied...

Just as Summer opened her mouth Amanda realized that Gem was still at the bar.

"Hold on...I need to get Gem."

She walked across the room and screamed, "Step away from the pirate!"

Gem jumped up.

"Er...why...I mean. Oops. Wrong Jack, eh?"

"Yes," Amanda replied, "Wrong Jack. You get the monkey...I get the hottie. Savvy?"

"Yes ma'ma," Gem said.

"Good. Now then, Jack you run up to the castle...I'll be along shortly. Gem, Summer's in a bit of a love...triangle or something. We need to help her."

And so the girls went back to Summer.

"Well", Summer began, "It all began when..."

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The suspense begins!


-Summer :)