The third chapter....
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They all apparated to... somewhere.
"Er.. where are we?" asked Syd.
"Well, we're in some alley, in..." Summer squinted her eyes "Alabama." she finished, pointing to a sign that said 'Welcome to Alabama'
"OK.. but where is everybody else?" asked Snape.
Then, some 20 or 30 people apparated there, making a loud 'POP' that made Manda fall down.
"You jus like falling down don't you?" asked Gem. Manda gave Gem an evil look.
"Hey, get offa me!" said Arwen, because Lucious Malfoy was laying on top of her.
And after all 20 or 30 people untangled themselves, Voldy himself appeared.
"So... waz up?" he asked.
"Er.. Why did you call us here?" asked Snape.
"WAS I TALKING TO YOU?" yelled Voldy
"Can we move somewhere... else? like, not somewhere muggles can see us?" Syd asked.
"Who the hell are you?" Voldemort replied, looking her up and down and making her feel uneasy. "Well, nevermind, let's go somewhere else I guess"
And everybody followed Voldemort, and he soon found an old abandoned warehouse. He peeked inside to see who was there and quickly shut the door, actually looking scared. "GAH!" he yelled.
"What's wrong? asked Gem, going to see what was in there.
"Er... nothing. Nothing at all. Let's go to a different warehouse." he replied. Manda giggled and pointed at a sign that said 'Giggleville' Arwen, Manda, and Gem snickered. Snape looked confused.
So his lordness apparated somewhere else and the Death Eaters followed. Everyone looked around and saw nothing but the sea in front of and behind them.
"Hey-we're on a ship of some kind!" said Arwen
"Yeah. Wait-OMG JACK!" screamed Gem as she scooted over to Captain Jack Sparrow.
"What the hell? JACK YOU HOE!" Amanda shouted as she ran up to Jack and slapped him.
"Oi I didn't deserve that. Ladies, please! There's enough of Jack to go around" said Jack, rubbing his cheek where he had been slapped countless times.
"ENOUGH!" bellowed Voldemort from the deck. Everyone jumped, having forgotten their purpose there. All the Death Eaters assembled in a circle around the dark lord.
Voldemort cleared his throat.
"Now, it has come to my attention that we are all getting old and decrepit. 'Cept me, 'cause I can't die. But I can't have babies either, which is what I want. I want Death Eater children. I called this meeting to ask y'all to start fornicating as soon as possible. I want more loyal followers."
"But your lordiness, can't we just recruit people?" asked Summa.
"NO! I want Death Eater blood in them! So hop to it people, I want to see some serious procreation!" Voldemort finished and disapparated somewhere.
Arwen shrugged. Gem scratched her head. Syd looked scared. Amanda said "I think he's really losing it." Summer glanced at Snape. She walked up to him and the girls heard her say "Severus, from now on, I'm gonna be a one man girl. I choose you!"
Amanda snickered and Gem cooed. Snape reached out and gently touched Summer's face.
"My darling, why is your face so burned?"
"Stupid work." said Summer.
"Let me fix you up a nice cream for that" said Snape as he led her to the cabin.
Arwen raised her eyebrows. Amanda started making gagging noises.
Gem turned to the remaining girls and said, "Well come on, let's get us some men like Voldemort said to!"
"I call Jack! Gemm gets the monkey!!!" said Amanda as she scuttled quickly over the where Jack was sitting.
"Oh no...no I dont think so Amanda!!" exclaimed Gem and she scammpered quickly after. So while those two were arguing over Jack, Arwen and Syd wondered how they wre going to get guys.
"Well...theres the rest of Jacks crew..." said Syd as she pointed unwantingly at the corner of the ship at a bunch of sailors drunk off their asses. Most were a bit round about the belly and the average height was shorter then Chica.
Arwen grimaced and looked rather disgusted that Syd had even pointed this option out to her. "Ugh...I dont think so..."
Finally Gem and Amanda decided that Jack wasn't evil enough to reproduce with.
"It's sad really," Amanda said, "You'd think a pirate would be a little meaner..."
"Yea", Gem said with a sigh.
"Hey," Arwen said, "There's always Malfoy."
"Malfoy," Gem, "Isn't he...er...um...gay?"
"Haha, I can assure you that he's not," Amanda said, "But I doubt that we all want to be carrying spawn of Malfoy."
"Can't you just...reproduce with whoever you want and raise them evil," Syd asked.
"This isn't one of our Lord's better ideas," Arwen said, "Manda, you're his heir or whatever...you'd better tell him what's up."
"Tell me what's up," a voice said.
They turned around to see Voldemort back.
"Yaaaaaaay!" Squeeled Arwen. "My boyfriend's back, and you're gonna be in trouble..."
"I'm not your boyfriend," Voldy replied with a scoff. "Tom Riddle, the younger me, is. I have neither the will nor the human charisma to be a boyfriend, or to grow psychologically attached to anything in any way."
"Doesn't that theory go against your diabolical love for yourself and your own corrupt hunger for power?" asked Gem.
"Yeah," agreed Syd. "I'm sure you could grow attached to yourself being the ruler of the world."
Voldemort stared at Syd and Gem. "Well," he sighed, "if you have a better excuse for not submitting myself to having a girlfriend, then I'd like to hear it!"
"You can't reproduce," said Manda. "Isn't that reason enough?"
"I'm sure I could still get my joys from him," Arwen replied with a smile. "Who needs babies anyway?"
"I need babies," said Voldy. "Evil, powerful, Death Eater babies."
"But I'd rather you not get me pregnant," said Arwen, walking closer to him. "We'll just make eveyone else have our babies for us."
Voldemort stepped away from her. "But I never said that you and I would-"
"It sounds like a good plan to me," said Manda. "Find me a vampire and I'll make lots of babies for you."
"Can vampires even have babies?" asked Syd. "I mean...they're dead. Wouldn't their bodily juices be dead, too?"
"Mine are still alive and kickin," said a hearty, sexy, ghost pirate named Zoot. Manda shrugged and walked into the back room with him.
"We have too many back rooms," Gem muttered.
"There's another one over there," said Jack, hinting towards the back room behind him. Gem smiled and followed him into it.
"No!" Syd called after her. "He's not evil enough for you! We need evil babies!"
Tom Riddle, who had been standing with them quietly for the entire time, smiled to himself and went into the back room with Jack and Gem.
"Your real boyfriend's leaving," Syd said to Racy A.
Arwen, however, shrugged, and smiled insanely at Voldy. "Why have a boy....when I can have a MAN?"
Voldemort backed away from her, then began to run around the ship, Arwen chasing after him (hehehe you know how usually it's the pirate chasing around the wench...lol).
Syd slumped down to the deck and sat alone. Gem, Summer, Arwen, and Manda were all off making babies, and Syd was left all alone.
"I wish I was off making babies with a hot, evil dude," she sighed to herself.
"I can help with that..." said a voice from behind her. It was dark, deep, and sexy. Gem turned around only to see...
...Neville LongBottom.
Syd turned around and laughed. "Neville, did you just make that deep voice? Right, what charm did you put on yourself?" Syd grew silent for a second, then asked, "Wait, why are you on a Dark Lord pirate ship?"
NEville looked hurt and pouted. "I can be where I want to be. And I wanted to sound cool."
Syd instantly felt sympathetic. "Aww, you're cool Neville... in your own way..."
Syd regretted this as soon as she said it, because Neville took this as being hit on and suddenly was grabbed into a big bearhug by Neville.
"Um... Neville... ow... your hurting my internal organs... I would like to keep those please..." Syd said as nicely as possible.
Neville suddenly let go of Syd and fell to the ground. "That'll teach you to go hurting my friend!!" A familiar voice called to the crumpled body. Syd looked up to see... BECCA! Holding out her wand looking slightly intimidating, more silly though, towards Neville, she grinned over to Syd. "Ya alright Syd?"
"Yeah, I'm fine!.. Why are YOU here? I'm confused." Syd said in a confused voice.
"Well, you see, my PirateoScope was on, and it showed a bunch of pirates here. So I showed up, cause I'm looking for... OOH!!!!!" BEcca interupted herself and started running past Syd to a pirate in a frilly hat. "WILL! Oi!! Remember me! We hooked up in The Three Broomsticks?"
Will Turner turned around and was properly glomped (flying hug that usually send the hug-ee to the ground, in proper anime style) and found himself flat on his back. "'Ello Miss Becca. 'Course I remember you. How have you been darling?"
Suddenly carrie appears from out of the sky. Carrie looks at herwand and around at the surroundings. "Dang what did i do wrong this time??? Last I remember I was Cursing somebody to fly to an evil place?? Oh shit, a shield charm that made it bounce back on me!!!"
Syd...always knew that girl was evil..
"Hey syd what's happ...ohhhh...Did not want to see that, did not want to see that""What's going on?"
"Well," says Syd, "U see we are supposed to be making evil death eater babies at the moment for Voldemort because he has a little bit of a problem, but I think that Arwen is gonna try to fix that, if she can...."*Interuppeted for a brief moment with Voldemort running insanely between the two of us with arwen hot on his heels screaming "Voldy commmmmeeee baccckkkkkkkk....."*
Suddenly Carrie realizes she is still dressed in my whore-ish dress from the TTB, and and is grabbed by a rowdy pirate who just appeared from yet another back room...
Syd grabs out her wand to help but suddenly Neville makes his move (apparently he woke up and heard our whole convo) and starts to hug her from behind kissing her neck. "Syd, I am evil too...we can make evil death eater babies together"
Syd screams...............
"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease", Neville begged.
"No...get away. I'm not that desparate," Syd yelled.
"Oy...people...we can't procreate with GHOST pirates," Amanda yelled as she ran out of the backroom.
"Oh...yea," the rest realized.
"Well damnit, now what," said Syd as she tried to pry Neville off her.
"We could clone him, Voldemort," Manda said.
"Oh no," Gem said as she dragged both Jack the pirate and Jack the monkey outta the back room, "You know how well that works."
"For the 10000000000000000th time...the hippo wasn't my fault and for the 100000000000000000000000000000th time...gimme MY Jack," Manda screamed.
"Ok...fine."
Suddenly there was a thunder boom and a voice
"You're not getting it on!"
"Damnit Riddle, we can't...there's no one to get it on with," Manda yelled at the sky.
"Perhaps I can help," said a smooth voice.
Everyone turned around and jaws dropped.
"Lucius Malfoy," Gem said with a sigh.
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Hahaha I wonder how confused you are now....
-Summer ;)