Fourth chapter:

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With the loud thunderclap, Becca stumbled out of a back room, hair in a mess, corset top half undone, dress up much too high. "I'm working on it!! And Manda, Will isn't a ghost pirate, so BOO YEAH!" Becca looks like she's about to jump back in the room, when she sees the old blond guy. "Eep." She said, quickly straightening her skirt and attempting to pull on the strings of her corset top. (you all know a corset top, right? They tie in the front? Weehee.)

"Why hello... ladies." Lucius said with his smooth, evil voice. Standing like a statue of evil, snake walking stick in hand, he looked down at the girls with a smug look. The girls all gawked at his evilness, and stood with their mouths hanging open.

"What's goin on?" Will asked, his gorgeous, gorgeous, perfect, long (okay, imagination carried away...) hair all messed up as he stepped out the room. Running a hand through his perfect hair, he stepped up behind Becca, asking "Who's that?"

He was rudely interupted by an elbow in the stomach from Becca. "Shhh!!" Becca exclaimed quietly! "Lucius Malfoy! Very evil, and cool, guy!"

"Ahhh"Lucious says, "And who do we have here???" (points to will turner)

Will stumbles over his words "um...I am umm..Will Turner"

"Turner? I believe i met your father...Piss poor excuse of a pirate!"

"Hey, Dont' u talk about my father like that..U wanna fight?"

"No Will don't," screams Carrie(elbows the stupid pirate who tried to grab her in the stomach and he trips and falls overboard..oops)"He's a wizard...He'll KIll u!"

"Not on my watch! DOn't worry willy poo, I'll save u!" Becca screams and grabs her wand(along with almost everybody else on the ship)

"Now, now ladies...I'm not going to hurt this...Turner...boy!...I am just going to help you find a way to make death eater babies. Now which one of you would like to join me???"

Everyone points their fingers towards....

Summer.

"Me?" she asked, walking out of the back room with Snape. "I have Snape. Sorries."

"Damnit," said Lucius. He looked around at the other hot Slytherin girls. "What about you girls?"

They all shook their heads, pointing to their boys.

"Syddie?" Lucius asked, winking at her. Syd smiled seductively. "Yes sir," she said, and they held hands, walking towards one of the many back rooms.

Everyone else looked at one another in confuzzlement. Just then, Draco joined them.

"Ello," he said, winking at Summer. Summer's eyes widened.

"Draco, er yes..." she stammered. "Hello there...um...uh..."

"What is going on here?" he asked, looking at Summer and Snape holding hands. "I thought that you were my girlfriend!"

"You thought wrong," Snape hissed back. "Pansyass."

"What did you just call Pansy????!!" demenaded Draco, stepping towards Snape. "You leave my girlfriend out of this!"

"Pansy is your girlfriend??" asked Arwen, who had given up on chasing around Voldy. "But I thought that you thought that Summer was your girlfriend?"

"Yeah, what the frunk, mofo?" said Gem.

Draco smiled uneasily. "I...er...um...I-"

"YOU CHEATED ON ME?!" Summer screamed. "But I trusted you!"

"But you were cheating on me, too!" said Draco.

"I wasn't cheating, I was having an affair!" Summer muttered, and she turned away from Draco.

"Multiple affairs," Manda laughed evilly.

"WHAT?" gasped Draco. "THERE WERE MORE? But I only cheated on you with one person!!!" He glared at Snape. "Who were they?!"

Every guy on the ship raised their hand. Summer blushed. Snape gave her a disgusted look. "My god," he said. "You're easier than I thought."

"Shuddup!" Summer said loudly. "I'm only with you now, Sevey-poo."

"No, you're not," Snape replied, stepping away from her. "I've decided that I don't want to be with a walking STD. Goodbye, Summa Lova." And with that, Snape disappeared with a loud 'POP'!

"Mwahahaha," said Draco. "Come to papa..."

Summer's eyes filled with tears. "Nooo! Snape, come back! Please!" She tried to run away from everyone, but noticing that there wasn't much room for running around on the ship, she jumped overboard and began to swim away into the horizon.

Summer didn't make it far before her muscles began to ache, so she called back for someone to svae her so she wouldn't drown. No one was going to save her, until Gem relized that Summer was really going to drown, so she called," Accio Summer," and Summer retuned to the ship.

There, Summer met Kirsten, and they started having a convo about both of their many love affairs with famous people...

" Well I dated Severus Snape," said Summer in a sad tone.

"Shoot I can beat that. I dated blah blah blah..."

After awhile people got sic of listening to them compete over who they dated, so Arwen put permanent(until someone takes it off) tape over their mouths. Becca took Summer's tape off almost immeadiately, but since Kirsten is and still is unloved hers stayed on and she was silent....

Then Arwen felt bad for using the tape, and went up to Kirsten and gave her a hug "Aww don't worry, we'll find you a man soon enough."

"Hmm," said Gem, "Syddie and Lucius? Who'dve thunk it?

"Well it's better than Neville." replied Amanda. Gem nodded. Then her mouth dropped.

"Ahhh! Becca, take that INSIDE for heaven's sake!" shouted Gem; Becca was again making out passionately with Will.

"Oh come on, you can do better than that flaming fruit!" complained Amanda.

"Wait, hold on there, little lady. Are you insulting my crewman?" asked Jack, suddenly appearing in front of Amanda.

"Yeah. What are you gonna do about it?" goaded Amanda.

Then everyone groaned and turned away as Amanda and Jack started making out.

Suddenly, Gem remembered Summer: she was sitting by the edge of the boat looking out over the water and crying softly.

"Summer, you just had too many men for your own good. You know that." Gem said, trying to comfort Summer.

"I know. I know! But it was so much fun, and I just couldn't make up my mind. But I realize now the only one I ever truly loved was Severus." Summer said miserably, turning around just in time to see Arwen walking out of a back room with a goofy smile, and Snape following her.

"ARWEN YOU HOE!" screamed Summer, looking around for her wand…

"Noo!" yelled Arwen, right before she was petrified by Summer.

"Hey, hey now" said Snape, and tried to pick Arwen up.

"Hahaha! You're mine! ALL MINE!" screamed Summer manically, dragging Snape off into one of the many backrooms.

"Argh" said Gem, because she was on a pirate ship, and wanted to say something pirate-y. "Alas, but I have no man"

"Wrong fic Gem" Manda said inbetween kissing Jack "You talk like that in the Malfoy one."

"ARGH" said Gem again "all these damn fics re getting too hard to keep apart I tell you."

There was a rather nasty noises coming from one of the rooms. Since no one could really remember who was in which room, they just waited til that person came out.

"I feel soo seasick..." stated Syd "Can we please get off this friggin boat???"

"Of course! My dear," said Luscious, stepping out behind her. He waved his wand and they were all transported somewhere else. But Arwen was still petrified....

Little did Syd know that when witches get pregnant that they get "Morning Sickness" right off the bat..

Carrie looks into the horizon just before everyone is taken somewhere else and sure enough ...the sun is rising...

Boom! Everyone falls to the ground...."Where are we??" several voices say..YIKES..all the walls for the backrooms have dissappears...They all suddenly see flashes of bare skin being covered up.

Carrie opens her eyes and look at where they have landed..."Well Well well..." she sayd,

we are in ....."THE NORTH WEST TERRITORIES??? But it's SOOO cold!!!"

"Well I can help u with that," a very handsome lumberjack says, but suddenly cheepoo16 flickers her eyes and he forgets about Carrie and saunters over to her...

Suddenly we all realize that Arwen has icicles clinging to her....

And Snape started to cuddle with the stoned (haha, stoned...), icesickley Arwen, petting her hard, smooth head, tear sicking to her cheeks. "My poor, poor Arwenbee...my Ickle Arykins..." and as he continued to mumble endless nothingnesses to the Stone Arwen Statue.

All of a sudden there was another *poof - crackledy - splatacack* and Syd and Lucius popped up from nowheres. Syd was in a rather elegant wedding gown and...and Lucius was wear a...a black tuxedo with a top hat and cane?

"What happened to you two?" Gem asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh! What're you guys doin here??" Syd exclaimed while running towards them, dragging her Lucius with her. "Hurry UP Lucy-Boo!"

"Sydney! I told you not to call me that in public!" whined Lucius, still dragging behind.

"oooh...sorries! would you prefer Ussy-bear? or perhaps Cicikins?" Syd replied with a confident smile and a shake of her head, Lucius seeming to melt in defeat.

"DAD?!" Draco excliamed. "Why're dressed like that, and why is she" - he shoots evil look at Syd, Syd smiles and waved - "wearing something equivalent to a...a wedding gown?!"

"Yea! What ARE you guys doing here??" Becca asked.

"hehehe!" Syd giggled. "We're on our HONEYMOON! Lucius has a log cabin up here ^-^"

"Draco!" Lucius said turning toward his son. "Say hello to my wife! We are now Mr. and Mrs. Lucius and Sydney Malfoy!" he said this with such a smirk, and such a smile that it almost seemed fake. Draco's (and several other people's mouths) fell open. Amanda mumbled something to Becca like "I knew Syd'd make him marry her...he *did* knock her up..."

"WHAT?!" Draco, Summer, Will, Gemm, and everyone else who was there shouted at once. Syd was beaming, everyone else looked as if they were about to faint.


"You have GOT to be joking, Syddie!" Gem said grabbing Syd by both shoulders. "You have to be under some potion or spell or something!!"

"You went and actually MARRIED the evil dude??" Summer said, somewhat impressed, somewhat flabbergasted. Lucius Smiling at Summers impression.

"Yea!" Syd said smiling silly-ly, and cuddled into lucius.

Becca beckoned to Summer, Gem, and Arwen and asked, "Does this mean Syd's Draco's mom?" o_O''

Syd nodded excitedly as Draco's face a colour similar to his house colours. Everyone else in the group burst out laughing, except Becca, who hopped around excitedly.

"OOH! OOH! Can I be his godmother?" Becca asked incredibally fast, hopping about.

Syd laughed and answered "Sure! I bet Dracokins would love that!" Draco just passed out at the word 'Dracokins' however.

Everyone was laughing at this, and then suddenly, Gem asked, "Dude, Becca, you're in your incredibally skimpy boozewench clothes from the Three Brooksticks party and you're not frozen. What gives?!"

Becca looked over at the group, all of them shivering and laughing. "I was raised somewhere around here. This is normal for me."

"Oh..." said Gem. She suddenly screamed and yelled, "OMG, a...."

Moose!!! A real live Moose...look at those horns..there so big..I bet they could carry a tonn! Suddenly somebody gets the bright idea to put passed out draco onto the mooses horns....The moose looks up and it's eyes turn to hearts.

"Oh oh"i say..."looks like Draco has a new *special* friend" heehee...

Syd says "Ahhh..isn't that cute...can we keep the moose as a pet Lucy-poo???"

"umm...sure...Syddie..."

Suddenly an ax goes flying by Lucious's head and a lumberjack comes out the woods and says...

"Okay," Summer sniffed. "My boyfriends are all taken now. Can I have the lumberjack?"

All of the other girls nodded their heads yes.

"But I'm a girl," said the lumberjack. "Why are you all dressed like...some sort of...freaky...cult...?"

Everyone turned their heads (except for poor frozen Arwen lol) and gasped. "A MUGGLE!" screamed Lucius. "KILL IT!!! GET IT GET IT!" He hid behind Syd.

"I didn't know that you were afraid of them, Lucy-poo," Syd said slowly.

"I'm not," Lucius pouted, putting his hands on his waist. "But that ones dirty," he whined. "I don't want to touch it! HELL-OOOOO." He scoffed and flung his hair behind his shoulder. Syd gave him a disgusted look, and so did Draco, who was now petting the moose.

"Riiiight," said Becca. "Let's just get rid of her. Obliviate!" She aimed her wand at the lumberjack, but the lumberjack wasn't phased at all. "Did you just try to cast a spell on me?" the lumberjack laughed. "What, do you think you're a witch or something?"

Unfortunately, Becca had held her wand the wrong way...it was backwards. She had just wiped out her own memory. Becca sat up, looked around herself, and smiled. "Who are you?" she asked the lumberjack.

Manda's wrath was inevitable for the poor lumberjack. "AVADA KEDAVRA!" she screamed, and the muggle died instantly. Draco screamed loudly.

"Good aim," the Slytherins complimented.

"Why thank you," Manda smiled, lowering her wand.


"Okay..." Snape said, finally walking away from Arwen. "What do we do now? Where has the Dark Lord gotten off to? I could have sworn that he was right here-" Snape's eyes widened before he could say anything more. "OhMyGod! SUMMER!"

Summer was holding hands with Voldemort. "I got a new man now, Severus." she smiled.

"Is it just me," asked Gem, "Or did Arwen and Summer just do a complete...partner switch?"

"But he's old and ugly!" Snape yelled.

"And you're greasy and ugly!" Summer yelled back.

"Burrrrrn!" Peace_bubble said to Snape.

"At least I'm not a slut!" Snape said to her, very calmly.

"Are you implying that I'm a slut?" Summer scoffed at him.

"Yes," Snape replied smugly. "Summer, you are a dirty, filthy, slut."

"Yo mamma," Voldemort retorted.

"Ooooooooooooooooooooh!" everyone else cheered.

"Double burn!" exclaimed peace_bubble.

"Nice one baby," Summer said to Voldy.

"Thanks sugar," Voldy said back.

"But you gotta admit," said Becca, who didn't remember who Voldemort was, or how powerful he was, "that dude is old and ugly."

Voldemort glared at her. "I'm a metamorphmagus," he said. "I only look like this to terrify. But I can look however Summer would want me to look, which is more than I can say for you, Severus."

Kirs walks in from wherever she just was and looks at the situation and laughs...It was just way too funny.

Since Arwen was still frozen and mission_myst seems to be confused that she can talk, Kirs uses a heat charm to unfreeze her. Incidentally it wasnt a very good charm, so Arwen ended up with little burns on her body.

Arwen then conjured herself a cloak and started running after Summer screaming, "Imma get you Summer!!!!!!"

They disappeared and everyone just stared in awe at the scene of them running wild across the tundra.

Then Syd said, " It's way to cold here, we need a new change of scenery." And with the flick of her wand, we were all transported to Beverly Hills.

"Where is Becca?" said Syd.

"Right here!" Becca replied looking angry, because during the change of scenery, her unknown hiding place disappeared and she was yet again revealed.

Then out of nowhere, a really fine guy appeared next to Kirsten.

"OMG Danny? i had no clue you were a wizard.....and I've known you for like ever." she said.

"yup, and I've come to take you home kirssie."

"NEVER say that in public again!!!! And by the way I am so not going anywhere, this is just too fun. You are staying here with us. Oh, this isnt a option it's an order."

Then Arwen and Summer walked by, apparently they settled their differences, but both looked like they had been hit with a few interesting jinxes.

Voldemort pulled Summer aside and whispered to her, ' This is a nice little love fest and all, but I think we should leave and have our own PERSONAL love fest... What do you think?"

Everyone looked at one another and giggled immaturely, but before they could leave......

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dun dun dun lol


-Summer :)