Author's Note: Hey! I don't think this one will be as "dude-like" as my other ones, because… well, I don't know. It's just not. It didn't end up that way. But it's still funny! So review anyway!!! And please review my other new story called "I Have Special Powers!" That is all.

The True Story of How Gandalf Got White Robes:

Told by Gandalf himself.

So you want to know the story of how my robes went from a tattered grey to a sparkling white? Well think no more, I am here to share the truth about my transformation. So kick back, relax, and grab a pipe, here we go.

It all started in the Mines of Moria, on the Bridge of Khazad Dum. A giant Balrog came from the shadows, and began chasing the Fellowship. Since I was the leader of the company, and I was the only one with magic, I decided it was up to me to save us. Once the others had safely crossed the bridge, I pulled out my sword and crossed it with my staff. The Balrog approached me with his massive whip, and I yelled "I am the servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor, the dark fire will not avail you, flame of Undun!" And blah blah blah.

All the while, Frodo is having a herd of cows behind me screaming, "GANDALF!!!!!!!! GANDALF!!!!!!!! GAAAAAAAAANDAAAAAAAAAAALF!!!!!!!!" Until Boromir finally knocked him unconscious. As I turned my attention back to the Balrog, I realized he had taken a step forward. So I yelled very loudly, "YOOOOOOOOOOU SHALL NOT PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS!" And know what that Balrog did? He passed.

That thing took another step. And the bridge started to crumble. The BRIDGE started to CRUMBLE. I warned him, but does he listen? NOOOOO. So there he was falling, falling, falling, and I'm just watching him fall. Which I totally regret now, I mean, I could have walked away and saved myself a whole bunch of explaining.

But I didn't. I stood there. And just when I had the sense to turn around and walk away triumphantly, that Balrog's whip grabbed me by the ankle and made me trip. So there I am dangling from the bridge, almost a certain death. Or at least a really long fall. By this time, Frodo gained consciousness, and noticed my position.

"GAAAAANDAAAAAALF!!!!!" Was his immediate response. Boromir did a double take at me, but it looked more like an shampoo commercial where those chicks swing their hair around. Then I realize Frodo charging to save me, but was held back. I was losing my grip on the ledge very rapidly, so I left a few words for the Fellowship to remember.

"Fly you fools." I said just as I slipped into the dark abyss. And of course I didn't mean that literally. Or did I? As I fell, I could hear Frodo's voice echoing. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! GAAAANDAAAAAAAAAALF!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Then I heard somebody, probably Boromir, call for Aragorn. And all was silent for a moment.

As I fell, I caught up to the Balrog, who was dropping down at an alarming rate. I leaned forward to catch up to him, and conveniently found my sword, Glamdring, flying past me. With amazing luck, I grabbed the hilt, and stabbed the Balrog repeatedly. Although he did not die, he did spin out of control until we hit the bottom of the fall. It looked like a lake, but strangely enough, we landed on a mountain.

Don't ask how. So, back to the point of the story. I'm decked out in my grey attire. Fighting this Balrog in the snow. So he's swinging at me, and I'm swinging back, but, of course, good always conquers over evil, and I defeated him. He fell to another cliff on the mountain, and I watched him dissolve into the snow.

Actually it was quite interesting. I seem to be interested in Balrogs dying and things. Have you noticed? Uh, right. After the fight was over, I was covered in snow, and a spot of blood was on my nose. I guess I lost consciousness, because when I woke up, I was surrounded by white. Or maybe I was just buried under snow. Who can tell?

So I stood up, and realized that I was under snow. I tried brushing the snow off of me, but found that I couldn't. It then dawned on me; the snow had somehow magically melted onto my grey robes turning them white! I panicked at first, and then shrugged it off. I thought a couple hundred or thousand years is long enough to go without a style change. So I welcomed the change.

I figured it was about time to show off my new look, so decided to head into Fangorn Forest. Treebeard had been my friend for centuries, so I wanted to know if he would recognize me. When I entered the forest, I met up with a trio I wasn't expecting. Well, actually, I found them scouting the site, so I decided to surprise them.

I jumped on a rock, and set out my flashy magic technique. It blinded Legolas' arrow shot, Gimli's axe, and somehow burned the sword out of Aragorn's hand. Aragorn started freaking out, demanding to know who I was. I don't know why I caved in, I was having fun making them scared. Their expressions were priceless.

I turned down my flashy magic technique, and finally revealed my new style and myself. I think there was a good ten minutes of silence and gaping mouths before I coughed loudly. Aragorn then walked forward asking if it was really me. To which I replied, "DUUUUUUH!"

Gimli started laughing and repeating my name. "Gandalf! Haha! Gandalf! Gandalf…" And all the while… Legolas stood there… smiling. Some may say it's just the way of the Elves. But dude, you should have seen him. He was looking very dreamily at me. Or maybe he was just amazed. And I'm hoping it was the second one.

So I asked them about my new look, and they seemed to like it. Sure, my outfit was a bit colder with all that snow sticking to me, but it was all the rave with every person I met. In fact, when we arrived at Rohan, I did a modeling show to flaunt my figure. It was so successful, that after completing my wizardry, I think I shall become a model.

And that's how it really happened. Down to the very last word. That's how my robes became white. Hope you enjoyed my story, please let me know!