A/n: Since I was so evil last chappy thought I'd put this one out fairly quick. And that stupid disclaimer I always have to put up: Fushigi Yuugi= mine…um...I mean not mine. Mirai=mine. To the chappy….

I just stood there for a minute, watching Mirai's form get smaller and smaller as she ran from me, too stunned to even think. Slowly, everything came crashing down on me, my words to Mirai…the look on her face as she pleaded to stay with me…the realization that she wasn't coming back…that I had pushed her away…

"What have I done?" I whispered, sinking to my knees "What have I done?"

I fell forwards, burying my face in my hands and sobbing like a child. How could I have done that to her? Mirai hadn't deserved those words I had so thoughtlessly hurled at her. Those words were meant for me, I was yelling at myself and poor Mirai had become the target of my anger simply because I couldn't control my emotions. Even after all that I'd been through, I still hadn't learned my lesson, I still lashed out at that poor girl as if she were the cause of all my pain and anguish.

"Why?" I screamed, lifting my tear-streaked face to the heavens in a desperate plea "Why do you keep me here Suzaku? Don't you see what a monster I am? Take my life! Please, I beg of you, end this pathetic existence of mine so that others will be spared my hateful anger and the childish displays of my tears!" 

 When nothing happened to answer my prayer for death, I let my head fall forwards onto my chest, my hands dropping listlessly beside me in defeat. I don't know how long I stayed that way, but somehow in the midst of my despair I realized that I had just let a four-year-old run off into the unknown alone and unprotected after I had told her nothing would hurt her so long as I was there. Forcing myself to get to my feet, I ran after her.

I have to find her! I told myself over and over, dashing tears out of my eye I have to make sure she's alright!

I ran for a good twenty minutes, not knowing where I was headed, but somehow knowing I was going in the right direction. All of a sudden, it started getting darker and darker around me, forcing me to slow my headlong dash to a cautious walk. I came to a stop, breathing hard, eyes darting around in confusion and saw that I had run blindly into the heart of a forest. Tears of frustration sprang to my eyes as I realized I had no idea which way I had come, or where I was now. I threw myself down under a tree and sat there for a minute, trying to catch my breath.

"Oh very good Houjun." I berated myself "Now that you're hopelessly lost, Mirai won't have a chance! She'll be captured by bandits or even worse, and all because you were too stupid to stop her from running off in the first place!"

I drew my knees up to my chest and hugged them tightly, tears falling down my cheeks once more. I could feel the bitterness rising in my throat as I sat there and sobbed into my knees. What a fool I was! I'd let the one person who could possibly ever care about me-or who I could ever care for, for that matter- run off, possibly straight into the arms of horrible danger and here I was, lost in the middle of nowhere, powerless to try and save her…

I bowed my head as my tears came faster and stronger, burying my head in my arms. The thin rays of light filtering in from above gradually got thinner and paler as night began to fall. I was still sitting under the same tree I had been sitting under for the past three hours, when I heard a branch crack a few meters ahead. My head snapped up and I strained my eyes against the growing darkness, trying to see who or what had made the sound. A shadowy figure appeared in the distance. I inhaled sharply and held my breath as the figure came closer and closer. A ray of light caught in soft chestnut hair and I let out an explosive breath. "Mirai?" I called tentatively "Is that you?"

The figure stopped in its tracks. "H-Houjun-san?" came the shaky reply.

"Yes, that's right." I said as relief washed over me. She was safe! Mirai came running out of the shadows and smashed into my knees, crying and trembling.

"Are you alright?" I asked worriedly, sweeping the girl into my arms.

"Y-Yeah…" she whimpered. "I-it's scary in here."

"You're alright." I whispered, pulling the small girl into a fierce hug "I've got you. Nothing's going to hurt you now. "

"P-promise?" she hiccupped, getting as close to me as she could.

I nodded and put a hand on the back of her head, giving her a soft kiss on her left temple . "I swear I'll never leave you again."

"F-for real this time?" Mirai asked softly, her sobs quieting to occasional sniffles.

"Forever." I promised, "For as long as you want me to be, I'll be here for you."

"Good." she sighed putting her head down on my shoulder. "'Cause I missed you."

"I missed you too." I managed around the lump in my throat. "I missed you too…"

A/N: well there it is, chapter four. Sorry I took so long I had the worst case of writer's block! Yes well I hope that wasn't too bad seeing as I think I could have done much better with it but oh well. Oh yeah! Before I forget again, an especially big thank you goes out to roku kyu for reviewing this story 'cause she's my hero on ff.net and I'm glad to know that she liked it. See you all next chapter! 

~Tenshi Kitsune~