Chapter 10: It Begins
The Great Hall was a giant blur of bodies and noises as Iris squinted to separate all the chaos into the distinct objects, faces, and voices she had become so familiar with over the past six year. No sleep was really beginning to take its toll on her weary body. She couldn't remember if it was usually this noisy in the mornings, but she knew she could not stomach all the cacophony today. She was simply waiting for Severus. He had insisted that she meet him there so he could give her some dreamless sleep potion. "If it at least keeps you from wandering around places you shouldn't be at night it's worth the loss of the dreams. I really don't care how curious you are."
Iris smirked inwardly. She knew he was right. She would take it for a few nights, but no longer. Her entire being was screaming out to know the rest of the dream, but lack of sleep was turning her into a snappish zombie. Lily had remarked that she had been "Turning into a red haired Petunia the past few days." That was enough to make Iris down a whole cauldron of dreamless sleep potion as well as cast a memory charm on anyone who had been around during the time of her appalling behavior. Petunia had never been known for her charm. She was rather "meticulous." That was Iris' favorite word to describe her not so favorite sister. It only had a negative meaning to those who heard the hard edge to Iris' voice otherwise it could or could not be taken as a compliment.
Leaning against the wall Iris allowed her heavy eyelids to droop until the slammed shut against her straining, and bloodshot eyes. "Exactly how inappropriate is it to sleep against a wall?" Iris found herself thinking. She smiled knowing the strange looks she must be getting from first years who were wondering if that was common and acceptable behavior.
"This is hardly time for a little catnap Miss Evans." A silky voice whispered in her ear.
Keeping her eyes clamped shut Iris responded as condescendingly as she could, "Unless you have the goods keep on walking slimeball." He kissed her cheek softly.
"Iris." His tone came out impatient and amused all at once.
"All right. My eyes are open. I am looking at you. What else do you want?" Severus raised his eyebrows suggestively. "Oh really? Well, meet me later lover boy." She laughed feeling more energy enter her body.
"This is the dreamless sleep potion you promised you would take," she noticed the obvious stress on the word 'promised,' and chuckled a little in response, "and this is another little necessity."
Iris looked at him questioningly. "Am I going to be a guinea pig and just test this, or are you going to tell me what it is?"
He leaned closer, and looked her straight in the eyes. "It is a contraceptive potion. I didn't think you had taken one before, given the...spontaneous nature of.." He stopped. Iris beamed at him. He always became so formal when he was uncomfortable.
"I didn't. Thank you. I was going to brew one today, but I will gladly take yours." With that she uncorked the bottle and took a long drink. "How much do I need was that enough?"
"Take the whole bottle for a year of continuos protection, and a gulp like that for.... a morning after situation. She locked eyes with him nodding, and drank the rest immediately. Severus grinned. "That is the more direct method."
"And tasty too." She grimaced.
"Are you going in?"
"I'm not really hungry." She shook her head and placed the other potion in a secure pocket of her robe handing the empty bottle back to Severus.
"Would you care for a walk."
"Would I!" She said with mock enthusiasm, but took his arm with a reassuring squeeze.
"You are a pest when you are tired."
"The way you talk."
"I wanted to make sure you were...all right. Are you?"
She looked over at him smiling softly. "Yes, of course I am." Her face became more serious. "Are you?"
He didn't answer.
"Severus, tell me you are going to Dumbledore."
"I can't Iris. There is nothing Dumbledore can do. In a week I have to go to him. It's expected of me."
"By who?" Her voice burst out a strained whisper still managing to be laced with a poisonous ring. "By Lucius Malfoy?"
"By my family Iris." He paused and let his gaze fall to the floor in front of them. "They are all marked, and now that I am of age I...it is what I have to do."
"Severus that is ridiculous." She was becoming panicked. "You don't have to. You have a choice. I know it's a hard one but you can't link yourself forever with that...thing. I've heard all these stories. All these terrible stories of the things he has done. Not just to his victims Severus; to his followers too."
"I'm sure they are true." He said flatly with no emotion breaking through his smooth tones.
"Then why in the hell are you seriously considering this?" She stopped their progression down the hall and stood facing him. Her face was bright red from anger and she tugged her hair behind her ears exasperated. She felt furious with him for not seeing what this meant. Furious yes, and frightened she would be giving him over to torture and death. She was helpless. She didn't know what to say to him to keep him from going. She didn't know who to go to for help without betraying his confidence. She didn't know how to look at him, or how not to. She didn't even know how to simply stand still because all her emotions were beginning to avalanche, and she couldn't think of anything to do with her hands.
In reply Severus only looked at her with steel encased eyes. "I have to go to class Iris," and he left her standing in the hallway steaming with rage.
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Once again Iris woke drenched in sweat. The dreamless sleep potion lay untouched in the pocket of her robe; she had been to angry with him to take it. It was stupid, but somehow she thought that by not taking it she was somehow winning the argument and keeping him from Voldemort. Still not able to remember any more of the dream, Iris felt like throwing something. It had been much more intense tonight. She was left more raw and numb inside.
She grabbed her wand and was about to light it when she felt the same searing pain in her stomach that had sprung upon her the twice the night before. It was stronger this time causing her vision to blacken as well as an overwhelming need to get to a toilet fast and throw up. She groaned loudly as she dropped to her knees from her bed.
"Iris? Is something wrong? Are you all right?" A soft voice next to her and then small hands helping her back onto her bed.
"Emily...can you...get Lily." She pushed the words through her harsh pain.
Iris waited for what felt like an eternity, but was most likely around five minutes. She concentrated on each breath. In. A knife in her stomach. Out. Like swallowing razors. In. What the hell is happening to me. Out. Lily please hurry.
"Iris?" Lily's voice was pinched by fear but her hands and arms were steady as she wrapped them around her baby sister. "What is it?"
"Stomach...hurts." Iris almost laughed at how silly it must look. Like a child overreacting to a little stomach flu. Lily seemed to take in the seriousness of her sisters pain. Iris had never been one to complain during sickness, or injury.
Lily slipped her arm around Iris' back and lifted her gently off the bed. "I am going to take you to the bathroom. I don't know if you need to throw up or anything, but....then we will go to the infirmary. All right?" Iris grunted in reply thankful to be feeling safe and taken care of. "Thank you Emily. Can you go ahead and tell Madam Pomfrey we are coming?" The sound of soft footsteps and a door closing alerted Iris that Emily had taken the direction.
"Come on hun." Lily helped Iris kneel by the toilet. She held her hair and rubbed her back affectionately while Iris allowed herself to empty the days meals into the white porcelain bowl in front of her leaving the taste of metal in its wake. Slowly the pain clenching her stomach like a clamp eased to the same dull ache it had the day before. Iris' vision returned illuminating the sparse decoration of the girls lavatory and her sister's beautiful concerned face.
"Hi Lily." Iris chuckled a little. "Sleep well?"
"You goof." Lily hit Iris' arm softly in mock disapproval. "Come on lets get you to the infirmary. Are you well enough to stand?"
"Lets find out." Iris took the hand Lily extended and pulled her self up very ungracefully. "Last time I eat the spaghetti dinner." She joked.
"What happened? Do you have an idea?" They talked softly as they made the long trench to see the medi-witch.
"I don't know. I had another dream, and I woke up like you found me. It hurt a little bit."
"I'll bet. You looked like death. First time I've ever been sent for in the middle of the night. You scared me."
"Sorry."
"It's fine. It's my job. You said you had another dream? Do you usually have pain with the dreams?"
"Only yesterday and today."
"Hunny you should talk to Dumbledore about this. It isn't normal to go into a sort of attack after a nightmare."
"I'll be all right. I am probably just eating bad and having cramps. Or maybe I swallowed a small samurai warrior who is slowly hacking my stomach to pieces."
"Very funny." She brushed the hair out of Iris' eyes. "Talk to Dumbledore ok?"
"Let me try the dreamless sleep potion Severus made first."
"Well, why didn't you take that tonight?" Lily looked at Iris sheepishly.
"We got in a fight and...I didn't so much feel like drinking up afterwards."
Lily laughed and hugged Iris to her. "Well, either forgive and take it, or I don't know...just take it."
After being inspected for a half an hour and declared healthy Madam Pomfrey ushered the Evans girls out. Iris held a small bottle in her hand that eased cramping.
"No matter what is wrong with girls these days she gives us this stuff." Iris glared at the bottle. "It tastes like four day old broccoli. Nobody takes it anymore."
"I have about five bottles of the stuff she's given me in my room if you run out." Lily teased.
"Oh good! I was worried!" Iris grabbed her sisters hand. "Thanks Lily."
Lily kissed the top of Iris' head. Iris suddenly felt very restless. "Look, I'm not going to be able to get back to sleep. I'm going to take a walk. You go on without me."
Lily hesitated but finally smiled and dropped Iris' hand. "OK be careful you don't get caught. We can't afford to lose any more points."
Iris grinned as she watched her sister slowly disappear into the darkness. She should remember to talk to Lily more often she felt more centered and normal. She felt like her problems were not really that big after all.
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Without realizing it Iris began a path outside to the Hogwarts grounds. She was reaching out to open the front door when a voice from behind her made her freeze.
"I thought you said you weren't going to try this again."
"I didn't say anything if you remember correctly. What are you doing here Severus?" She eyed him suspiciously. He was extremely pale and his eyes did not seem to be able to focus on anything.
"I have to.....I couldn't sleep."
"You're going tonight aren't you? It's been changed. You're being marked tonight." Iris felt like her throat was closing up and her heart was beating so fiercely she was sure it was visible beneath her shirt.
"Go back to bed Iris."
"No."
He pulled her into a nearby hallway with her struggling to be released the whole while. "Fine! Don't go back to bed but for gods sake stay hidden here! Malfoy is coming and you don't want to be seen."
"Oh fuck Malfoy!" She was trying to hide the tears that streamed down her face.
"Iris please just wait here. Lucius will be here any second. There is nothing you can do."
"I am not going to let you throw yourself at that psychotic man's feet! He is sick Severus! Please don't go. Please, I don't want to lose you, I love you!"
"Iris, ...I....have to."
"You don't. Go to Dumbledore. Now. If you don't I will." And with that said Iris pulled away from Severus, and ran down the hallway towards Dumbledore's office. After she had run for a few minutes she stopped out of breath and furious. "Shit. He isn't going to be there this late. Where are his quarters? Are they in the same place?" Not waiting think any further Iris decided she would just stop Severus from going herself. If that meant she would curse him them so be it.
Finding no one in the entryway Iris burst through the door and out into the night air. She looked around, but saw no footprints and heard no voices. If he had already left with Malfoy it was too late. It was over. She sank to her knees in defeat. It was then that the voice began.
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************Hello readers!!!! Hello hello. Hey guess what I just found out. Stupid me had unintentionally blocked anonymous reviews. Now I have no idea whether people have tried to leave me them during this time, but hey it is all corrected. Feel free to tell me how much you hate/love me under the delicious cover of anonymity. Huzzah!
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The Great Hall was a giant blur of bodies and noises as Iris squinted to separate all the chaos into the distinct objects, faces, and voices she had become so familiar with over the past six year. No sleep was really beginning to take its toll on her weary body. She couldn't remember if it was usually this noisy in the mornings, but she knew she could not stomach all the cacophony today. She was simply waiting for Severus. He had insisted that she meet him there so he could give her some dreamless sleep potion. "If it at least keeps you from wandering around places you shouldn't be at night it's worth the loss of the dreams. I really don't care how curious you are."
Iris smirked inwardly. She knew he was right. She would take it for a few nights, but no longer. Her entire being was screaming out to know the rest of the dream, but lack of sleep was turning her into a snappish zombie. Lily had remarked that she had been "Turning into a red haired Petunia the past few days." That was enough to make Iris down a whole cauldron of dreamless sleep potion as well as cast a memory charm on anyone who had been around during the time of her appalling behavior. Petunia had never been known for her charm. She was rather "meticulous." That was Iris' favorite word to describe her not so favorite sister. It only had a negative meaning to those who heard the hard edge to Iris' voice otherwise it could or could not be taken as a compliment.
Leaning against the wall Iris allowed her heavy eyelids to droop until the slammed shut against her straining, and bloodshot eyes. "Exactly how inappropriate is it to sleep against a wall?" Iris found herself thinking. She smiled knowing the strange looks she must be getting from first years who were wondering if that was common and acceptable behavior.
"This is hardly time for a little catnap Miss Evans." A silky voice whispered in her ear.
Keeping her eyes clamped shut Iris responded as condescendingly as she could, "Unless you have the goods keep on walking slimeball." He kissed her cheek softly.
"Iris." His tone came out impatient and amused all at once.
"All right. My eyes are open. I am looking at you. What else do you want?" Severus raised his eyebrows suggestively. "Oh really? Well, meet me later lover boy." She laughed feeling more energy enter her body.
"This is the dreamless sleep potion you promised you would take," she noticed the obvious stress on the word 'promised,' and chuckled a little in response, "and this is another little necessity."
Iris looked at him questioningly. "Am I going to be a guinea pig and just test this, or are you going to tell me what it is?"
He leaned closer, and looked her straight in the eyes. "It is a contraceptive potion. I didn't think you had taken one before, given the...spontaneous nature of.." He stopped. Iris beamed at him. He always became so formal when he was uncomfortable.
"I didn't. Thank you. I was going to brew one today, but I will gladly take yours." With that she uncorked the bottle and took a long drink. "How much do I need was that enough?"
"Take the whole bottle for a year of continuos protection, and a gulp like that for.... a morning after situation. She locked eyes with him nodding, and drank the rest immediately. Severus grinned. "That is the more direct method."
"And tasty too." She grimaced.
"Are you going in?"
"I'm not really hungry." She shook her head and placed the other potion in a secure pocket of her robe handing the empty bottle back to Severus.
"Would you care for a walk."
"Would I!" She said with mock enthusiasm, but took his arm with a reassuring squeeze.
"You are a pest when you are tired."
"The way you talk."
"I wanted to make sure you were...all right. Are you?"
She looked over at him smiling softly. "Yes, of course I am." Her face became more serious. "Are you?"
He didn't answer.
"Severus, tell me you are going to Dumbledore."
"I can't Iris. There is nothing Dumbledore can do. In a week I have to go to him. It's expected of me."
"By who?" Her voice burst out a strained whisper still managing to be laced with a poisonous ring. "By Lucius Malfoy?"
"By my family Iris." He paused and let his gaze fall to the floor in front of them. "They are all marked, and now that I am of age I...it is what I have to do."
"Severus that is ridiculous." She was becoming panicked. "You don't have to. You have a choice. I know it's a hard one but you can't link yourself forever with that...thing. I've heard all these stories. All these terrible stories of the things he has done. Not just to his victims Severus; to his followers too."
"I'm sure they are true." He said flatly with no emotion breaking through his smooth tones.
"Then why in the hell are you seriously considering this?" She stopped their progression down the hall and stood facing him. Her face was bright red from anger and she tugged her hair behind her ears exasperated. She felt furious with him for not seeing what this meant. Furious yes, and frightened she would be giving him over to torture and death. She was helpless. She didn't know what to say to him to keep him from going. She didn't know who to go to for help without betraying his confidence. She didn't know how to look at him, or how not to. She didn't even know how to simply stand still because all her emotions were beginning to avalanche, and she couldn't think of anything to do with her hands.
In reply Severus only looked at her with steel encased eyes. "I have to go to class Iris," and he left her standing in the hallway steaming with rage.
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Once again Iris woke drenched in sweat. The dreamless sleep potion lay untouched in the pocket of her robe; she had been to angry with him to take it. It was stupid, but somehow she thought that by not taking it she was somehow winning the argument and keeping him from Voldemort. Still not able to remember any more of the dream, Iris felt like throwing something. It had been much more intense tonight. She was left more raw and numb inside.
She grabbed her wand and was about to light it when she felt the same searing pain in her stomach that had sprung upon her the twice the night before. It was stronger this time causing her vision to blacken as well as an overwhelming need to get to a toilet fast and throw up. She groaned loudly as she dropped to her knees from her bed.
"Iris? Is something wrong? Are you all right?" A soft voice next to her and then small hands helping her back onto her bed.
"Emily...can you...get Lily." She pushed the words through her harsh pain.
Iris waited for what felt like an eternity, but was most likely around five minutes. She concentrated on each breath. In. A knife in her stomach. Out. Like swallowing razors. In. What the hell is happening to me. Out. Lily please hurry.
"Iris?" Lily's voice was pinched by fear but her hands and arms were steady as she wrapped them around her baby sister. "What is it?"
"Stomach...hurts." Iris almost laughed at how silly it must look. Like a child overreacting to a little stomach flu. Lily seemed to take in the seriousness of her sisters pain. Iris had never been one to complain during sickness, or injury.
Lily slipped her arm around Iris' back and lifted her gently off the bed. "I am going to take you to the bathroom. I don't know if you need to throw up or anything, but....then we will go to the infirmary. All right?" Iris grunted in reply thankful to be feeling safe and taken care of. "Thank you Emily. Can you go ahead and tell Madam Pomfrey we are coming?" The sound of soft footsteps and a door closing alerted Iris that Emily had taken the direction.
"Come on hun." Lily helped Iris kneel by the toilet. She held her hair and rubbed her back affectionately while Iris allowed herself to empty the days meals into the white porcelain bowl in front of her leaving the taste of metal in its wake. Slowly the pain clenching her stomach like a clamp eased to the same dull ache it had the day before. Iris' vision returned illuminating the sparse decoration of the girls lavatory and her sister's beautiful concerned face.
"Hi Lily." Iris chuckled a little. "Sleep well?"
"You goof." Lily hit Iris' arm softly in mock disapproval. "Come on lets get you to the infirmary. Are you well enough to stand?"
"Lets find out." Iris took the hand Lily extended and pulled her self up very ungracefully. "Last time I eat the spaghetti dinner." She joked.
"What happened? Do you have an idea?" They talked softly as they made the long trench to see the medi-witch.
"I don't know. I had another dream, and I woke up like you found me. It hurt a little bit."
"I'll bet. You looked like death. First time I've ever been sent for in the middle of the night. You scared me."
"Sorry."
"It's fine. It's my job. You said you had another dream? Do you usually have pain with the dreams?"
"Only yesterday and today."
"Hunny you should talk to Dumbledore about this. It isn't normal to go into a sort of attack after a nightmare."
"I'll be all right. I am probably just eating bad and having cramps. Or maybe I swallowed a small samurai warrior who is slowly hacking my stomach to pieces."
"Very funny." She brushed the hair out of Iris' eyes. "Talk to Dumbledore ok?"
"Let me try the dreamless sleep potion Severus made first."
"Well, why didn't you take that tonight?" Lily looked at Iris sheepishly.
"We got in a fight and...I didn't so much feel like drinking up afterwards."
Lily laughed and hugged Iris to her. "Well, either forgive and take it, or I don't know...just take it."
After being inspected for a half an hour and declared healthy Madam Pomfrey ushered the Evans girls out. Iris held a small bottle in her hand that eased cramping.
"No matter what is wrong with girls these days she gives us this stuff." Iris glared at the bottle. "It tastes like four day old broccoli. Nobody takes it anymore."
"I have about five bottles of the stuff she's given me in my room if you run out." Lily teased.
"Oh good! I was worried!" Iris grabbed her sisters hand. "Thanks Lily."
Lily kissed the top of Iris' head. Iris suddenly felt very restless. "Look, I'm not going to be able to get back to sleep. I'm going to take a walk. You go on without me."
Lily hesitated but finally smiled and dropped Iris' hand. "OK be careful you don't get caught. We can't afford to lose any more points."
Iris grinned as she watched her sister slowly disappear into the darkness. She should remember to talk to Lily more often she felt more centered and normal. She felt like her problems were not really that big after all.
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Without realizing it Iris began a path outside to the Hogwarts grounds. She was reaching out to open the front door when a voice from behind her made her freeze.
"I thought you said you weren't going to try this again."
"I didn't say anything if you remember correctly. What are you doing here Severus?" She eyed him suspiciously. He was extremely pale and his eyes did not seem to be able to focus on anything.
"I have to.....I couldn't sleep."
"You're going tonight aren't you? It's been changed. You're being marked tonight." Iris felt like her throat was closing up and her heart was beating so fiercely she was sure it was visible beneath her shirt.
"Go back to bed Iris."
"No."
He pulled her into a nearby hallway with her struggling to be released the whole while. "Fine! Don't go back to bed but for gods sake stay hidden here! Malfoy is coming and you don't want to be seen."
"Oh fuck Malfoy!" She was trying to hide the tears that streamed down her face.
"Iris please just wait here. Lucius will be here any second. There is nothing you can do."
"I am not going to let you throw yourself at that psychotic man's feet! He is sick Severus! Please don't go. Please, I don't want to lose you, I love you!"
"Iris, ...I....have to."
"You don't. Go to Dumbledore. Now. If you don't I will." And with that said Iris pulled away from Severus, and ran down the hallway towards Dumbledore's office. After she had run for a few minutes she stopped out of breath and furious. "Shit. He isn't going to be there this late. Where are his quarters? Are they in the same place?" Not waiting think any further Iris decided she would just stop Severus from going herself. If that meant she would curse him them so be it.
Finding no one in the entryway Iris burst through the door and out into the night air. She looked around, but saw no footprints and heard no voices. If he had already left with Malfoy it was too late. It was over. She sank to her knees in defeat. It was then that the voice began.
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************Hello readers!!!! Hello hello. Hey guess what I just found out. Stupid me had unintentionally blocked anonymous reviews. Now I have no idea whether people have tried to leave me them during this time, but hey it is all corrected. Feel free to tell me how much you hate/love me under the delicious cover of anonymity. Huzzah!
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