Darkon smiled under his helmet, scanning the minds of his surviving charges. The one named Fritz Wallace would make an excellent guide. He did not care in the slightest what happened to this dirtball. From his memories, Darkon knew that Fritz had once described the Grand Canyon – a rather interesting geological feature as far as Darkon was concerned – as a hole in the ground.
The only thing Fritz really cared about were his friends and family. Even the rest of his species merited no more than a few snide remarks, especially the historical figures. Darkon gave a single order to the teknoplant holding Fritz.
Ohhhh, what hit me? Fritz slowly opened his eyes; feeling like someone had rubbed his skin raw with sandpaper and then doused him with saltwater. Memory returned slowly; the vines, the acid, falling what seemed like forever only to have the breath knocked out of him when he'd landed. Where the hell am I, anyway?
That's a very good question… Fritz Michael Wallace.
Huh? Who're you?
Would you like the short answer, or the long one? drawled that strange voice that Fritz could only hear in his head.
The short one, if you don't mind. As soon as he finished that thought, it was like he'd just been hit in the forehead with a speeding bullet train. With a weak cry, Fritz dropped to the ground, curling into a fetal, shivering ball. That hurt!
Wasn't it supposed to? the voice – Darkon, Fritz now knew – asked fake-sweetly.
Fritz knew now just what they had inadvertently stumbled into. Shit, all I wanted to do was have a nice, restful camping trip. I knew we shouldn't have come this way-!
Poor little Fritzy, Darkon cooed. Maybe you should try to look on the bright side. Isn't that what Conrad always said, that you should try to look on the bright side more often?
I'm sure he wasn't referring to being enslaved by evil, body snatching aliens, Fritz spat acidly.
Darkon laughed silently, having Fritz be his guide on this planet was sure to make things more interesting, if nothing else. It was then that Darkon made a decision. If he was going to play the conqueror, he might as well do it right.