Thank you guys so much for all the reviews! It's very encouraging :) It
just gets weirder and weirder; I'm just warning you!
By Jamie ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
At the Lauper/McWeird residence 11:21am
As Mulder and Scully waited for Ms. Lauper to come to the door, Scully realized how much she regretted playing hard-to-get earlier. *I want him now* she thought. *Although, we'd probably still be at it, so it's for the best* She let out a long, noisy sigh, and Mulder tried not to look at her, afraid that he would have to undress her right there.
Just then, Ms. Lauper came to the door. She was a shorter woman, with blonde hair and green eyes.
*She's pretty hot,* Mulder thought, trying to divert his thoughts from Scully. Scully noticed his drooling and handed him her hankie.
"Since when do you carry a hankie, Scully?"
"Uh, who are you and what are you doing at my house?" Lisa said with a confused look.
"I'm Agent Scully and this is Mulder. We're with the FBI. We need to ask you some questions about a murder case. Done with. . .scissors." Scully sniffled. Mulder handed her the hankie.
"Oh, all right. Come on in," the woman led the way into her house. "You say it was done with scissors?" Mulder nodded. "Fascinating."
"What's so 'fascinating' about that?!" Scully demanded. "Are you underestimating the power of scissors?"
"No. . .What? Have you talked to my daughter, Jamie? You're sounding an awful lot like her right now."
"As a matter of fact, we did talk to her. Is she here right now?"
"Of course! I'll call her right now. JAMIE!!!!!!!! THERE ARE SOME FBI AGENTS HERE TO TALK TO YOU!!" Lisa hollered with her loud, triumphant voice. Mulder drooled.
"Seriously. . ." Scully grumbled, handing him her hankie again. "This is getting old."
When Lisa focused her attention back on the agents a loud thumping caused her to turn back around. Jamie was rolling down the stairs, grunting with each blow. When she reached the bottom, she hopped up and modeled her Ninja Turtle pajamas and her hair sticking straight up.
"Long night?" Scully asked, trying not to smile.
"No."
The Agents just looked at Jamie with puzzled looks. "I always roll down the stairs when I get up in the morning. It really wakes a person up!" she said, cracking her neck.
"I'll have to try that," Mulder said blankly. "Wait, I don't have any stairs. . ."
Jamie did ballet turns all to way to the kitchen, fell down, and began crawling to the cereal cupboard.
"Ooookay," Scully said. "So, Jamie. We need to talk more about this scissors case with you. Do you know anything about anyone who may have had anything to do with this murder?"
"What kind of a question is that?" Jamie said as she poured herself a bowl of All Bran. She headed to the fridge and looked at the expiration date on the milk. "Ugh. Oct 13 '90. MOM! WHY DO WE STILL HAVE THIS?" she yelled to Lisa in the other room.
As Lisa walked into the kitchen she replied, "I've been collecting curdled milk for quite some time now. Haven't you noticed?"
"Guess not. Actually, come to think of it, I was wondering why my Oatmeal tasted so funny the other day! Blech."
Mulder made a funny face and decided he wanted to be with Scully for eternity. No sour milk for him. He grabbed Scully and kissed her passionately. At first, she forgot her surroundings and kissed back. When it hit her, she pretended to be disgusted and pushed him away.
"What are you doing?" she demanded, trying to act natural. Really, her body was aching to take him right there, right now.
"Just making sure you brushed your teeth this morning, Agent Scully!" he said, realizing what he did. He made a smacking sound with his mouth and said, "The result is. . .POSITIVE!"
"Okay," she nervously sputtered out.
The mother and daughter just stared, flabbergasted. "I wish I had a man," Jamie sighed.
"I AM NOT A MAN!" shouted Mulder. "I mean, not the way that you're thinking. . .shut up."
*He sure is a man. A whole LOTTA man,* thought Scully. She sighed loudly and the whole group's attention was put on her.
"What?!" she said, fidgeting.
Just then, Agent Fahrt and Agent Curled walked in. Fahrt seemed to be looking for something and asked, "Can I have some All Bran?! That stuff makes me regular!" Everyone groaned; Mulder and Scully of course for a different reason.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
By Jamie ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
At the Lauper/McWeird residence 11:21am
As Mulder and Scully waited for Ms. Lauper to come to the door, Scully realized how much she regretted playing hard-to-get earlier. *I want him now* she thought. *Although, we'd probably still be at it, so it's for the best* She let out a long, noisy sigh, and Mulder tried not to look at her, afraid that he would have to undress her right there.
Just then, Ms. Lauper came to the door. She was a shorter woman, with blonde hair and green eyes.
*She's pretty hot,* Mulder thought, trying to divert his thoughts from Scully. Scully noticed his drooling and handed him her hankie.
"Since when do you carry a hankie, Scully?"
"Uh, who are you and what are you doing at my house?" Lisa said with a confused look.
"I'm Agent Scully and this is Mulder. We're with the FBI. We need to ask you some questions about a murder case. Done with. . .scissors." Scully sniffled. Mulder handed her the hankie.
"Oh, all right. Come on in," the woman led the way into her house. "You say it was done with scissors?" Mulder nodded. "Fascinating."
"What's so 'fascinating' about that?!" Scully demanded. "Are you underestimating the power of scissors?"
"No. . .What? Have you talked to my daughter, Jamie? You're sounding an awful lot like her right now."
"As a matter of fact, we did talk to her. Is she here right now?"
"Of course! I'll call her right now. JAMIE!!!!!!!! THERE ARE SOME FBI AGENTS HERE TO TALK TO YOU!!" Lisa hollered with her loud, triumphant voice. Mulder drooled.
"Seriously. . ." Scully grumbled, handing him her hankie again. "This is getting old."
When Lisa focused her attention back on the agents a loud thumping caused her to turn back around. Jamie was rolling down the stairs, grunting with each blow. When she reached the bottom, she hopped up and modeled her Ninja Turtle pajamas and her hair sticking straight up.
"Long night?" Scully asked, trying not to smile.
"No."
The Agents just looked at Jamie with puzzled looks. "I always roll down the stairs when I get up in the morning. It really wakes a person up!" she said, cracking her neck.
"I'll have to try that," Mulder said blankly. "Wait, I don't have any stairs. . ."
Jamie did ballet turns all to way to the kitchen, fell down, and began crawling to the cereal cupboard.
"Ooookay," Scully said. "So, Jamie. We need to talk more about this scissors case with you. Do you know anything about anyone who may have had anything to do with this murder?"
"What kind of a question is that?" Jamie said as she poured herself a bowl of All Bran. She headed to the fridge and looked at the expiration date on the milk. "Ugh. Oct 13 '90. MOM! WHY DO WE STILL HAVE THIS?" she yelled to Lisa in the other room.
As Lisa walked into the kitchen she replied, "I've been collecting curdled milk for quite some time now. Haven't you noticed?"
"Guess not. Actually, come to think of it, I was wondering why my Oatmeal tasted so funny the other day! Blech."
Mulder made a funny face and decided he wanted to be with Scully for eternity. No sour milk for him. He grabbed Scully and kissed her passionately. At first, she forgot her surroundings and kissed back. When it hit her, she pretended to be disgusted and pushed him away.
"What are you doing?" she demanded, trying to act natural. Really, her body was aching to take him right there, right now.
"Just making sure you brushed your teeth this morning, Agent Scully!" he said, realizing what he did. He made a smacking sound with his mouth and said, "The result is. . .POSITIVE!"
"Okay," she nervously sputtered out.
The mother and daughter just stared, flabbergasted. "I wish I had a man," Jamie sighed.
"I AM NOT A MAN!" shouted Mulder. "I mean, not the way that you're thinking. . .shut up."
*He sure is a man. A whole LOTTA man,* thought Scully. She sighed loudly and the whole group's attention was put on her.
"What?!" she said, fidgeting.
Just then, Agent Fahrt and Agent Curled walked in. Fahrt seemed to be looking for something and asked, "Can I have some All Bran?! That stuff makes me regular!" Everyone groaned; Mulder and Scully of course for a different reason.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~