Feels Like Home

By Shikata ga nai

~*~

"I'll only take on hard workers. If you slack off, we'll dump you at the next port. I don't care where it is."

"Yes sir."

The shuttle captain scratched the stubble on his chin, considering the boy in front of him. The kid was skinny, and had messy hair and a rebellious glint in his eyes. Somehow, though, he was reminded of another kid with a similar appearance, who overcame the odds against him and eventually became a successful captain on one of the best cargo shuttles in the colonies. You can't forget the people who made you what you are, he thought. He sighed with resignation. "All right, you're hired. You'll be paid in cash, and you start right now. Go help load those crates over there."

The kid nodded and soon was hoisting crates alone that should have taken two men his size to lift. The captain's eyes widened. He's stronger than he looks… But the voice of a crewman behind him pulled him back to the task of pre-takeoff preparations, and he quickly forgot about it.

***

This is passable, Heero thought, as he wound his way through the busy corridors of the ship that night. I'll work my way to L4 on this shuttle, and make some extra money while I'm at it. He found his quarters and opened the door. Mission accepted… He froze, shook his head, and threw his backpack and jacket on the small cot in his room. The walls were covered with aesthetically unappetizing silver space insulation, and the whole room was little more than a broom closet with a bed. But it was warm and dry, and free. He stifled a yawn and decided he'd better go to bed.

The sliding door was still open; he shut it and discovered he was blind. With instinctive panic he hit the 'Door Close' button again. The door whooshed open and he could see again. Heero glared at the light above the doorframe. It was controlled by the button. The only button in the room. And it was the only light. He sighed and shut the door again, then stood in the blanketing darkness and searched the pockets of his jeans. There were certain things he liked to always keep with him; his gun was one of them, but that wasn't what he wanted just now.

He smirked when his hand closed around the object he wanted. He drew it out of his pocket and pressed a button on it. A tiny beam of light lanced through the air, collecting in a golden pool on the shiny insulated wall across from him. He used the mini flashlight to search his backpack until he found his screwdriver.

Ten minutes later, Heero stood triumphantly in his room behind a closed door, admiring the light fixture shining from above the entrance. He flipped the makeshift switch that was now on the wall. The light winked out. He flipped it again and the light came on.

"Hn," he grunted with satisfaction. He undressed quickly and got into bed, then leaned over and shut the light off, ready for sleep. It was amazing, what a person could do with the metal clip from a pen lid, two rubber bands, and a screwdriver.

***

Heero was fourth from the front of the line. Then he was third. Then second. Finally he stood at the front and watched the captain count out the wages of the man ahead of him and mark the transaction carefully in a book. Now it was his turn.

"Ten, twenty, thirty, forty…and fifty." The captain looked at him gravely as he handed over the week's pay. "You've earned it, son. I'm glad to have you with the crew. Keep up the good work." Heero nodded and accepted the money. He felt a whisper of guilt as he walked back to his quarters with it, because when the ship docked on the colony that the Winner family lived on the next day, he would be gone without a backward glance. As far as most of the crew was concerned, he didn't care that they existed, but he had developed a sort of bond with the middle-aged captain in their encounters over the past two weeks.

Heero wouldn't actually admit it to himself, but he could have abandoned the ship the week before when it docked on a colony close to Quatre's. He had chosen not to, reasoning that if he waited another seven days, he could get there without spending money or finding another mode of transportation, but in a little chamber hidden deep inside himself, he wondered if that was the real reason he'd stayed on board.

He opened the door of his room to face darkness. That was the only problem, he thought as he turned on the light and shut the door. The light didn't come on anymore when you opened the door. If someone were to open it from the outside, they might think the bulb was dead. Oh well. He shrugged. That was the price you paid for tinkering with things. He was pretty sure it was reversible, if you knew how circuits worked. By the time anybody noticed it, he'd be long gone anyways. Heero hid away his money and left his room, walking down the corridor to the mess hall for his last supper.

***

The butler looked down his nose at Heero like he had just crawled out of a dumpster. "I'm sorry, young man, but Master Winner has informed me that he does not want to have any…visitors…today." He made to close the heavy, wooden front door, but was abruptly stopped when Heero blocked it with a foot and an arm.

"Please tell him Heero's come to see him!" he said sharply to the arrogant old man. "It's important!" he added as he struggled against the butler's formidable weight on the door, trying to seek assistance on the other side.

"Yes, I'm sure it's a matter of the utmost importance," the butler snarled in his snooty English accent. "You've probably come to leech off of poor Master Winner's charity, haven't you?"

Heero fought the urge to rip the smug look off the other man's face. "I'm an old friend, I have my own money, and I need to talk to Quatre!"

The butler didn't budge, and the two men stood there in a silent stand-off, the butler wearing an icy expression while Heero gave him a full-force deathglare. Their feud was interrupted by light footsteps on a nearby staircase, followed by Quatre's voice.

"Edward, what's the ma--Heero!" Quatre's face lit up when he saw his old comrade standing half inside the threshold of his house. He ran forward. "Heero, what are you doing here? Come in!" He led Heero by the arm up the stairs, and the Japanese boy just had time to smirk triumphantly at the stunned and seething butler before he was whisked out of sight.

***

Quatre poured tea for them both and sat back in the armchair. Heero looked with polite interest around the elegant parlour while they sipped tea in silence. After a minute, Quatre set down his tea and beamed. "So, what brings you here?"

"I'm travelling around, visiting the other gundam pilots to see that they're getting along all right since the war. I've already visited Trowa and Wufei."

Quatre leaned forward in his chair a bit too eagerly. "How's Trowa doing?"

"He's fine," Heero said reassuringly. "He's with Catherine's circus troupe. She takes good care of him."

The Winner heir nodded. "That's good. Good to hear…" he said softly.

Heero looked around him. "It looks to me like you're managing," he said, gesturing with one hand at the mansion around him.

The other boy smiled. "It's a full time job to look after the estate. I don't have time to get into trouble anymore." He laughed, and then glanced at the clock on the wall. "Speaking of which, I have a few things I need to take care of. I'll show you to the guest room. You'll have to amuse yourself until supper." He gave Heero an apologetic look.

Heero waved him off. "That doesn't bother me. You go do your work."

"Thanks, Heero. Your room is just down the hall, here…" Quatre led him to the dark, paneled wooden door and showed him the interior. After pointing out the bathroom, he left Heero to go and attend to his finances. Twenty steps away, he stopped and called back over his shoulder. "Oh, and Heero? Please don't heckle the staff too much. The good ones are hard to find."

***

Heero found the dining room in time for supper and studied a painting on the wall while he waited for his host to appear. The voice that finally said his name was not Quatre's, but was familiar enough to make him turn around with a start.

"Dorothy?" Heero stared incredulously at the girl with the amazing eyebrows, and wondered how she had gotten into Quatre's house.

"Delighted to see you again, Heero," she said with a smile. "Are you enjoying all of your new-found free time?"

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

Dorothy grinned. "Such a charmer. I live here, silly!"

Quatre made his entrance just in time to see Heero's horrified expression to that remark. He cursed himself quietly and ran over to the two of them. "Heero! I'm so sorry, I forgot to tell you…!"

Dorothy finished his sentence by slipping under Quatre's arm to hug his waist. "Good job, dear. Gave him a bit of a shock, didn't you?" She looked at Quatre fondly.

Heero recovered quickly and looked at Quatre. "So she…"

"…Lives here, yes. Since everybody went their separate ways. Actually, she showed up one day with a petition, stayed for dinner, and, well…here we are today."

Heero raised an eyebrow just enough for the young Arab man to notice. Quatre cleared his throat loudly and suggested that they sit down, adding that Rassid was expected for supper and would be there soon. Almost immediately, another man entered the room.

"Rassid! Sit down! We were just talking about you. You're just in time for supper." Quatre got up and embraced the burly Maganac gratefully. Rassid returned the gesture and took a seat at the table. He said hello to Heero and they talked for a few moments until the food arrived. Edward set plates of roast duck in front of them, with a special glare for Heero, and they all tucked in hungrily.

They discussed the war and the aftermath of it, Rassid in particular talking about how the Maganacs had destroyed their mobile suits and were now masterminding a Middle Eastern disarmament program, with great success.

"I'm so glad to see that mankind is finally well on our way towards total pacifism," Quatre said happily.

Dorothy snorted. She looked at Heero as she spoke. "Total pacifism…I'm sorry, Quatre, but I don't think that will ever be a reality. Human nature will not allow it. It is our instinct to fight." She smirked, her eyes glittering fiendishly. "If all the world's a stage, and the men and women merely players…then total pacifism is Shakespeare's sixth act." The smirk became a guileless smile, and she started eating again.

Quatre frowned at her. "I still think you're wrong, Dorothy. But I know that you don't like war either. You're just cynical."

Rassid sighed heavily. "We have yet to see what will come of this new state of things. All we can do right now is hope that the human race can overcome our instinct, if it is as Miss Dorothy says."

Heero's face remained expressionless as he chewed his food, gazing at the top of Dorothy's blonde head across the table.

***

Quatre hummed quietly to himself, twiddling a pencil as he stared at the long list of numbers in front of him. A knock on his office door brought him out of his reverie and he sprang up to answer it, expecting Edward with a pile of mail, but instead, ice blue eyes stared at him from the other side of the threshold.

"Can I come in?" Heero asked.

"Of course." Quatre opened the door wide to admit his friend. "Sit down. What's the matter?"

Heero ignored the proffered chair and remained standing. "I'm leaving in the morning."

Quatre sat down at his desk. "Oh. But…you've only been here for three days. Why are you going so soon?"

Heero shrugged. "I feel like it's time to go. I don't want to overstay my welcome."

Quatre snorted. "What a crock."

Heero looked at him with alarm. He couldn't remember ever hearing language like that coming out of Quatre's mouth.

"Well, jeez, Heero, you could move in permanently if you wanted. I think I can afford it."

Heero sat down in the chair across Quatre's desk and stared at his hands, folded in his lap. "I just… feel a bit out of place. Like I don't belong." He looked up. "Your butler wants to kill me."

"Edward's a harmless old goat. He hates to be wrong, that's all. I don't think he wants to kill you." Quatre cocked an eyebrow. "If he did, I'd have to give him a pay cut." He leaned back in his chair and contemplated Heero sagely. "It's Dorothy that's bothering you, isn't it?"

"No. Yes. Sort of." That she was Dorothy always bothered him; he'd never get along with her. But whenever he was in the same room as Quatre and her, seeing them not seeing anyone but each other… that made him uncomfortable. Something about her blonde hair and blue eyes… He shook his head suddenly, focusing on his friend again. "I really want to go see Duo, too."

Quatre sighed. "I won't stop you. I'll be sad to see you go, though."

Heero nodded, got up, and left the room quietly, shutting the door behind him.

Left alone, the Winner heir leaned back in his chair, thinking. Moving quickly from place to place, never stopping long enough to make any commitments, to get attached. I think he got attached to someone, inside, and it scared him, and now he's trying to run away from it. The rope's always got to snap back…

**********