Chapter 11
Forgiveness
The end of the week couldn't come soon enough for Harry and Cadence. The two of them wanted nothing more than to see each other, and to spend time together, but Cadence knew she had decisions to make about Harry. After what he did, things were going to be a lot different.
Yet no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't bring herself to tell him that. She had to appear hard and tough, as if there was some sort of outer shell that couldn't break. However, he had already seen that the hard core had been chipped. He had seen her cry and break down. It was too late to pretend now.
Staring out the window of the hospital wing at the Quidditch field was as close as she could get to Harry at that point. At seven each night, she struggled to pull herself out of bed, walked over to the window, and pressed her head against it. She watched the team zoom in and out with one missing Chaser. Her heart ached to see them struggle with an absent player, but they were doing great anyway.
Her heart leapt whenever she saw Harry zoom around on his Firebolt. He was unmistakable. He was the only player on the team with jet-black hair. He was the broadest player and had the fastest broom. It was impossible to miss him.
She hadn't caught a full glimpse of him until the night she was to meet him in the common room after she left. She had all of her homework done, and she had only suffered minor scrapes and bruises. Madam Pomfrey had insisted to Dumbledore that she be kept longer for observation. Her ribs were bruised and her wrist was sprained. Luckily enough, she had not suffered anything severe.
It was Sunday night and Quidditch practice was going longer than usual. Harry and the team wouldn't be in until at least nine or ten. She had a lot of time to go meet him and even time to drop off her books in her dorm. Her only fear was of what she would tell Harry when she did see him.
Her heart pounded within her chest. She packed up her things and Madam Pomfrey came in to tell her she was free to go. Then, she was gone.
It was almost a dream walking in the halls again. The fresh air as opposed to the musty smell of the hospital room was joyous. She couldn't believe how much of a difference it made in her spirit to just walk out of the room and down to her own.
There were many students studying in the library, the common room, and the Great Hall. She smiled, happy to be out and about again.
Her heart hammered in her chest when she thought about what she had to do in a matter of hours. She was nervous to see Harry but anxious all at the same time. All she could help but ask herself was whether or not Harry would remember.
How could I forget?
He flew around the Quidditch field, gripping his broom as if it were the last bit of hope he had left. He sighed heavily, blowing the whistle on his neck. The team skidded to a halt in mid air and flew over to him.
It was now late November; the air was growing unbelievably cold and thin. His teammates had red faces, chapped lips, and wet eyes. They wanted nothing more than to go into the castle and warm up. Due to the weather, their muscles were locking up and had somewhat hindered their performance. Harry noticed this, and he too began to feel the cool air nibbling at his face. He hadn't noticed it before because of the overwhelming thoughts that consumed him.
"Why don't we take it in for the night? We'll be back out here at seven tomorrow," he announced, clutching the end of his broom.
The team exchanged silent cries of joy and all flew to the ground, where they dismounted and ran like mad back to the castle.
Harry watched them go, and slowly let himself drift downward. He was going to see Cadence tonight and was nervous and excited all at the same time. He hadn't gotten a good full glimpse of her face since the last night in the hospital wing. Of course he had walked by there many times, hoping for some peek at her, but he was never allowed access.
He had seen what appeared to be her figure at the window, staring out intensely. She had her head pressed up against the pane of the glass, her fingers extended. His eyes had caught the girl in the window a couple of times and each time she looked away. He would have given anything to fly up to her and.
He barely saw it the ground coming and almost crash landed. He lifted the end of his broom and flew up a little, then slowed down a bit to get a soft landing. He stopped, dismounted and carried his broom slowly next to him.
He bit his lip, staring up at the window he had always seen Cadence staring out of. Tears formed in his eyes. He would have done anything to get her back. He wasn't sure how he was going to handle it if she had decided not to have him around anymore.
It was too much to bear. The tears almost dripped down his cheeks before he dried his eyes and shook it off.
Can't cry in front of her. It can't appear as though I've cried. I have to be strong, no matter what decision she's come to.
He headed back into the castle at a brisk speed, making the decision that if anything, he needed to see her face. To be in the same room, the same space, to be close to her. no matter what she had to say. was worth it.
He put his broom away in his dorm, took off his Quidditch practice gear, and changed into normal clothes. He sat on his bed for a long time. Harry noticed as he looked around that there was no indication whatsoever that Cadence had been in his life. There was no memento, no evidence, no small tokens of love. nothing. If he died that night and Cadence had decided she wanted nothing to do with him, there would have been no way to prove that she had been in his life, even for the smallest measurement of time.
He looked down at his trembling hands and then back up at the door. It was time. The hour was approaching nine and the dorms were starting to fill up. If he wanted any time alone with Cadence, it had to be soon. There wouldn't be much time left if he dawdled any longer.
He stood up on two shaky legs and walked out of the dorm room. As he ventured down the stairs, he saw Ron coming toward him.
"Harry," Ron whispered. Harry had not spoken of what he had done or what had happened, but in this case he didn't have to. Hermione and Ron knew, and neither of them said anything. It would have been cruel to taunt him with 'I told you so.' They read it in his face that he'd learned his lesson and didn't need to be told otherwise.
"She's down there, Harry and the room is empty," he whispered, giving his friend a pat on the shoulder as he walked up the stairs.
Harry felt his heart beating against the walls of his chest, as if trying to get out. Suddenly, he was rooted to the spot where he was standing. He turned his head slowly and called out, "Ron?"
Ron stopped and looked back at his friend.
"Thank you."
Ron knew the 'thank you' Harry was referring to was not as simple as letting him know Cadence had been downstairs.
He smiled and said, "I know what it's like, Harry." With that, Ron disappeared up the stairs and out of Harry's vision.
Harry let out a deep breath and traveled down the rest of the length of the stairs and stopped right before he entered the common room. Two or three first years passed by going up the stairs, exchanging the usual 'Look! It's Harry Potter!' between each other. However, Harry barely noticed.
What he saw at that very instant changed his world forever. It was almost as if an angel was walking through the common room. The face shape, the body frame, the long, pale blonde hair. it was as if she had been there, waiting forever. Even if the news she had to deliver could be grim, it didn't matter.
"Cadence," he whispered out loud. It was more to himself than to anyone else, but was loud enough for her to hear.
She whirled around, her long hair flowing behind her, almost in slow motion. Her dark eyes were lit up by the fire behind her, her pale cheeks a rosy color, the pink lips he loved so much were pursed as if she were in deep concentration.
He had noticed how beautiful Cadence was before, but he had never to any extent ached for her as he did at that moment in time. He wanted to delve right into every single part of her. She was everything he always wanted.
She made no move to say anything. She only stared at him longingly.
In truth, she wanted nothing more than to run up to him, jump into his arms, and forget everything that he had done. He looked lost and lonely, as if for years and years he had searched for something that he never found. She wondered if that unfound object was her or not. She prayed for it, she begged for it. she ached for it. She had never known a burning that bad inside of her.
"Harry," she whispered finally. It was like music to her ears. She closed her eyes slowly, allowing it to sink in and rest in her soul. She opened her eyes and realized that Harry was directly in front of her, staring deep down into her with the jade green eyes that had always been so easy to read. It was obvious now what he wanted. "Cadence. I've been thinking about you." It sounded great in his head as he thought about it, but now that he had said it out loud, it sounded terrible, almost juvenile.
"I've been thinking of you, too," she answered back truthfully. They shared a strained silence. Neither of them had wished for this. "I've been doing a lot of thinking, Harry."
His heart jumped again in his chest and he sighed heavily. He closed his eyes and prepared himself for the worst. "Then what is it?"
"It's not as simple as a verdict, Harry. It's more complicated than that," she whispered, and then looked about her. She suddenly found herself taking Harry's hand in her own.
Harry's thudding heart slowed to normal speed when he felt her hand in his. Maybe there was hope. "Let's talk somewhere quieter," was all she said before they left the common room and went down the corridors.
They walked hand in hand silently the entire way out of the castle and onto the grounds. He was sure he knew where they were headed, and she took her time leading him there.
They arrived to their Clearing minutes later, and Cadence let go of Harry's hand, sitting down in the grass. Harry sat next to her. They sat for a couple of minutes, watching the unicorns before she cleared her throat.
"I considered what you did a betrayal because you did it without my knowledge."
Harry said nothing.
"You did some things behind my back, and I know that it will take a long time before I can fully forgive you for that."
Again, Harry remained silent.
"I realized, though. it wasn't the fact that you had done all that without my knowledge that really bothered me. I understand your reasons, even though that doesn't make it any better. You only wanted to get to know me, whereas I was being stubborn. That would have come with time and I can see your point of view. What I'm terribly distressed about though. is the fact that it's like it brings shame to my parents' names because of it."
At great length, Harry finally spoke. "What do you mean by that?"
"I don't want my parents to become some kind of famous legend. I want what happened that night not to be remembered as some celebrity event. I want people to remember it as heroic. They saved my life. Your sneaking around, trying to find information about them only made it seem that they were a story. not my parents."
"Cadence, I would never."
"I know, I know! That's what I realized. but I had to tell you that's how it made me feel."
"I'm so. so sorry, Cadence. I never meant to cause you so much harm."
"I know," she sighed, not looking at him. "It's my family's honor that was hurt in my eyes. not me."
"Cadence, I never wanted to hurt you."
"Harry! I know!" she broke in fiercely. He jumped back. "It was the principle. You betrayed my trust, you snuck around. but I finally understood after that. You weren't doing it to exploit my family name. You were only doing it to find out about me. and me alone. That's why I can forgive you."
No words had ever sounded sweeter to Harry's ears than those. He wasn't sure what to do, but before he could make the move, Cadence scooted closer to him and took his hand.
Suddenly everything was perfect.
After a while of watching the unicorns, Cadence had rested her head on Harry's shoulder. He rested his head upon hers and closed his eyes. So this is heaven, he thought to himself. I could stay like this forever.
"Harry?" Cadence whispered.
"Yes?"
"I don't want this to sound scary or anything, but," she answered, leaning up and looking him in the eye, "I want you to know that I'm going to be here forever. I'm not going anywhere. Whatever you want to know about me, I'll tell you." And after a slight pause, she looked up at him dreamily. "And you can still call me Cadie."
Harry smiled. He put his left hand softly on her face, stared at her for a few seconds, and then leaned in to kiss her.
A noise sounded from behind them, breaking the contact of the kiss. They looked in the woods behind them. They stayed frozen in place for a few minutes before they heard another noise.
"We have to get out of here," Harry breathed quietly.
Cadence was now paler than before, clinging to Harry with a grip so tight his hand began to ache.
They slowly stood up, pausing for a few seconds until they heard the noise again. Harry looked all around, wrapping his arms around Cadence protectively. She trembled viciously.
"Let's run," he whispered, and within seconds, they began to sprint.
Neither of them knew they could run as fast as they were. They couldn't recall the pain they were feeling, the cramps in their legs, and the short gasps their breaths were now coming in. They had to get out. For whatever reason, the noise they had heard before grew louder and came closer. Cadence started to falter, crying for breath, sobbing in her throat.
It happened almost in a flash. Cadence let out a loud cry and went falling forward, gripping her side.
"CADIE!" Harry screamed, throwing himself down beside her.
Cadence couldn't speak. She mouthed wordlessly to Harry and then fell lax beside him. Though her breath came in shallow heaves, it was enough. Harry lifted her into his arms and huddling her body close to his own, he ran full speed out of the forest.
He didn't hear any other noises until he heard his own footsteps echoing in the vast, empty halls of Hogwarts. He wasn't even sure where he was heading until he found himself outside of the hospital wing. He vaguely remembered banging on the door, screaming for help. yet he did remember the blood all over the front of his favorite green sweater, the one he had worn for her. It was all over the nice khakis he had worn. for her.
He stared at Cadence while rooted in one spot. She had a small gash on her right side, which was where all the blood had come from. It made no sense. so much blood for such a small cut.
He was forced out of the room minutes later, but he stood outside of it, just staring. What was happening? Was Cadence still alive? What would he do if he had just gotten her back only to lose her again? Who had done it?
Forgiveness
The end of the week couldn't come soon enough for Harry and Cadence. The two of them wanted nothing more than to see each other, and to spend time together, but Cadence knew she had decisions to make about Harry. After what he did, things were going to be a lot different.
Yet no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't bring herself to tell him that. She had to appear hard and tough, as if there was some sort of outer shell that couldn't break. However, he had already seen that the hard core had been chipped. He had seen her cry and break down. It was too late to pretend now.
Staring out the window of the hospital wing at the Quidditch field was as close as she could get to Harry at that point. At seven each night, she struggled to pull herself out of bed, walked over to the window, and pressed her head against it. She watched the team zoom in and out with one missing Chaser. Her heart ached to see them struggle with an absent player, but they were doing great anyway.
Her heart leapt whenever she saw Harry zoom around on his Firebolt. He was unmistakable. He was the only player on the team with jet-black hair. He was the broadest player and had the fastest broom. It was impossible to miss him.
She hadn't caught a full glimpse of him until the night she was to meet him in the common room after she left. She had all of her homework done, and she had only suffered minor scrapes and bruises. Madam Pomfrey had insisted to Dumbledore that she be kept longer for observation. Her ribs were bruised and her wrist was sprained. Luckily enough, she had not suffered anything severe.
It was Sunday night and Quidditch practice was going longer than usual. Harry and the team wouldn't be in until at least nine or ten. She had a lot of time to go meet him and even time to drop off her books in her dorm. Her only fear was of what she would tell Harry when she did see him.
Her heart pounded within her chest. She packed up her things and Madam Pomfrey came in to tell her she was free to go. Then, she was gone.
It was almost a dream walking in the halls again. The fresh air as opposed to the musty smell of the hospital room was joyous. She couldn't believe how much of a difference it made in her spirit to just walk out of the room and down to her own.
There were many students studying in the library, the common room, and the Great Hall. She smiled, happy to be out and about again.
Her heart hammered in her chest when she thought about what she had to do in a matter of hours. She was nervous to see Harry but anxious all at the same time. All she could help but ask herself was whether or not Harry would remember.
How could I forget?
He flew around the Quidditch field, gripping his broom as if it were the last bit of hope he had left. He sighed heavily, blowing the whistle on his neck. The team skidded to a halt in mid air and flew over to him.
It was now late November; the air was growing unbelievably cold and thin. His teammates had red faces, chapped lips, and wet eyes. They wanted nothing more than to go into the castle and warm up. Due to the weather, their muscles were locking up and had somewhat hindered their performance. Harry noticed this, and he too began to feel the cool air nibbling at his face. He hadn't noticed it before because of the overwhelming thoughts that consumed him.
"Why don't we take it in for the night? We'll be back out here at seven tomorrow," he announced, clutching the end of his broom.
The team exchanged silent cries of joy and all flew to the ground, where they dismounted and ran like mad back to the castle.
Harry watched them go, and slowly let himself drift downward. He was going to see Cadence tonight and was nervous and excited all at the same time. He hadn't gotten a good full glimpse of her face since the last night in the hospital wing. Of course he had walked by there many times, hoping for some peek at her, but he was never allowed access.
He had seen what appeared to be her figure at the window, staring out intensely. She had her head pressed up against the pane of the glass, her fingers extended. His eyes had caught the girl in the window a couple of times and each time she looked away. He would have given anything to fly up to her and.
He barely saw it the ground coming and almost crash landed. He lifted the end of his broom and flew up a little, then slowed down a bit to get a soft landing. He stopped, dismounted and carried his broom slowly next to him.
He bit his lip, staring up at the window he had always seen Cadence staring out of. Tears formed in his eyes. He would have done anything to get her back. He wasn't sure how he was going to handle it if she had decided not to have him around anymore.
It was too much to bear. The tears almost dripped down his cheeks before he dried his eyes and shook it off.
Can't cry in front of her. It can't appear as though I've cried. I have to be strong, no matter what decision she's come to.
He headed back into the castle at a brisk speed, making the decision that if anything, he needed to see her face. To be in the same room, the same space, to be close to her. no matter what she had to say. was worth it.
He put his broom away in his dorm, took off his Quidditch practice gear, and changed into normal clothes. He sat on his bed for a long time. Harry noticed as he looked around that there was no indication whatsoever that Cadence had been in his life. There was no memento, no evidence, no small tokens of love. nothing. If he died that night and Cadence had decided she wanted nothing to do with him, there would have been no way to prove that she had been in his life, even for the smallest measurement of time.
He looked down at his trembling hands and then back up at the door. It was time. The hour was approaching nine and the dorms were starting to fill up. If he wanted any time alone with Cadence, it had to be soon. There wouldn't be much time left if he dawdled any longer.
He stood up on two shaky legs and walked out of the dorm room. As he ventured down the stairs, he saw Ron coming toward him.
"Harry," Ron whispered. Harry had not spoken of what he had done or what had happened, but in this case he didn't have to. Hermione and Ron knew, and neither of them said anything. It would have been cruel to taunt him with 'I told you so.' They read it in his face that he'd learned his lesson and didn't need to be told otherwise.
"She's down there, Harry and the room is empty," he whispered, giving his friend a pat on the shoulder as he walked up the stairs.
Harry felt his heart beating against the walls of his chest, as if trying to get out. Suddenly, he was rooted to the spot where he was standing. He turned his head slowly and called out, "Ron?"
Ron stopped and looked back at his friend.
"Thank you."
Ron knew the 'thank you' Harry was referring to was not as simple as letting him know Cadence had been downstairs.
He smiled and said, "I know what it's like, Harry." With that, Ron disappeared up the stairs and out of Harry's vision.
Harry let out a deep breath and traveled down the rest of the length of the stairs and stopped right before he entered the common room. Two or three first years passed by going up the stairs, exchanging the usual 'Look! It's Harry Potter!' between each other. However, Harry barely noticed.
What he saw at that very instant changed his world forever. It was almost as if an angel was walking through the common room. The face shape, the body frame, the long, pale blonde hair. it was as if she had been there, waiting forever. Even if the news she had to deliver could be grim, it didn't matter.
"Cadence," he whispered out loud. It was more to himself than to anyone else, but was loud enough for her to hear.
She whirled around, her long hair flowing behind her, almost in slow motion. Her dark eyes were lit up by the fire behind her, her pale cheeks a rosy color, the pink lips he loved so much were pursed as if she were in deep concentration.
He had noticed how beautiful Cadence was before, but he had never to any extent ached for her as he did at that moment in time. He wanted to delve right into every single part of her. She was everything he always wanted.
She made no move to say anything. She only stared at him longingly.
In truth, she wanted nothing more than to run up to him, jump into his arms, and forget everything that he had done. He looked lost and lonely, as if for years and years he had searched for something that he never found. She wondered if that unfound object was her or not. She prayed for it, she begged for it. she ached for it. She had never known a burning that bad inside of her.
"Harry," she whispered finally. It was like music to her ears. She closed her eyes slowly, allowing it to sink in and rest in her soul. She opened her eyes and realized that Harry was directly in front of her, staring deep down into her with the jade green eyes that had always been so easy to read. It was obvious now what he wanted. "Cadence. I've been thinking about you." It sounded great in his head as he thought about it, but now that he had said it out loud, it sounded terrible, almost juvenile.
"I've been thinking of you, too," she answered back truthfully. They shared a strained silence. Neither of them had wished for this. "I've been doing a lot of thinking, Harry."
His heart jumped again in his chest and he sighed heavily. He closed his eyes and prepared himself for the worst. "Then what is it?"
"It's not as simple as a verdict, Harry. It's more complicated than that," she whispered, and then looked about her. She suddenly found herself taking Harry's hand in her own.
Harry's thudding heart slowed to normal speed when he felt her hand in his. Maybe there was hope. "Let's talk somewhere quieter," was all she said before they left the common room and went down the corridors.
They walked hand in hand silently the entire way out of the castle and onto the grounds. He was sure he knew where they were headed, and she took her time leading him there.
They arrived to their Clearing minutes later, and Cadence let go of Harry's hand, sitting down in the grass. Harry sat next to her. They sat for a couple of minutes, watching the unicorns before she cleared her throat.
"I considered what you did a betrayal because you did it without my knowledge."
Harry said nothing.
"You did some things behind my back, and I know that it will take a long time before I can fully forgive you for that."
Again, Harry remained silent.
"I realized, though. it wasn't the fact that you had done all that without my knowledge that really bothered me. I understand your reasons, even though that doesn't make it any better. You only wanted to get to know me, whereas I was being stubborn. That would have come with time and I can see your point of view. What I'm terribly distressed about though. is the fact that it's like it brings shame to my parents' names because of it."
At great length, Harry finally spoke. "What do you mean by that?"
"I don't want my parents to become some kind of famous legend. I want what happened that night not to be remembered as some celebrity event. I want people to remember it as heroic. They saved my life. Your sneaking around, trying to find information about them only made it seem that they were a story. not my parents."
"Cadence, I would never."
"I know, I know! That's what I realized. but I had to tell you that's how it made me feel."
"I'm so. so sorry, Cadence. I never meant to cause you so much harm."
"I know," she sighed, not looking at him. "It's my family's honor that was hurt in my eyes. not me."
"Cadence, I never wanted to hurt you."
"Harry! I know!" she broke in fiercely. He jumped back. "It was the principle. You betrayed my trust, you snuck around. but I finally understood after that. You weren't doing it to exploit my family name. You were only doing it to find out about me. and me alone. That's why I can forgive you."
No words had ever sounded sweeter to Harry's ears than those. He wasn't sure what to do, but before he could make the move, Cadence scooted closer to him and took his hand.
Suddenly everything was perfect.
After a while of watching the unicorns, Cadence had rested her head on Harry's shoulder. He rested his head upon hers and closed his eyes. So this is heaven, he thought to himself. I could stay like this forever.
"Harry?" Cadence whispered.
"Yes?"
"I don't want this to sound scary or anything, but," she answered, leaning up and looking him in the eye, "I want you to know that I'm going to be here forever. I'm not going anywhere. Whatever you want to know about me, I'll tell you." And after a slight pause, she looked up at him dreamily. "And you can still call me Cadie."
Harry smiled. He put his left hand softly on her face, stared at her for a few seconds, and then leaned in to kiss her.
A noise sounded from behind them, breaking the contact of the kiss. They looked in the woods behind them. They stayed frozen in place for a few minutes before they heard another noise.
"We have to get out of here," Harry breathed quietly.
Cadence was now paler than before, clinging to Harry with a grip so tight his hand began to ache.
They slowly stood up, pausing for a few seconds until they heard the noise again. Harry looked all around, wrapping his arms around Cadence protectively. She trembled viciously.
"Let's run," he whispered, and within seconds, they began to sprint.
Neither of them knew they could run as fast as they were. They couldn't recall the pain they were feeling, the cramps in their legs, and the short gasps their breaths were now coming in. They had to get out. For whatever reason, the noise they had heard before grew louder and came closer. Cadence started to falter, crying for breath, sobbing in her throat.
It happened almost in a flash. Cadence let out a loud cry and went falling forward, gripping her side.
"CADIE!" Harry screamed, throwing himself down beside her.
Cadence couldn't speak. She mouthed wordlessly to Harry and then fell lax beside him. Though her breath came in shallow heaves, it was enough. Harry lifted her into his arms and huddling her body close to his own, he ran full speed out of the forest.
He didn't hear any other noises until he heard his own footsteps echoing in the vast, empty halls of Hogwarts. He wasn't even sure where he was heading until he found himself outside of the hospital wing. He vaguely remembered banging on the door, screaming for help. yet he did remember the blood all over the front of his favorite green sweater, the one he had worn for her. It was all over the nice khakis he had worn. for her.
He stared at Cadence while rooted in one spot. She had a small gash on her right side, which was where all the blood had come from. It made no sense. so much blood for such a small cut.
He was forced out of the room minutes later, but he stood outside of it, just staring. What was happening? Was Cadence still alive? What would he do if he had just gotten her back only to lose her again? Who had done it?