"What the...?!" That, and a whole stream of other, highly unladylike cursing erupted from the normally calm, cool, and collected doctor, as she woke up with a start and flailed about, her arms pinwheeling wildly and upsetting what little furniture was in the room. Her hair hung slickly around her face in wet tendrils, her throat and nose felt like they were on fire, and on top of that, both her now bright scarlet cheeks were stinging from where Katsu had slapped her as hard as he could in an effort to revive whom he thought was his best friend.
"Sano?" the long-haired ex-Sekihou Tai member asked worriedly, peering at "Sano's" face to make sure "he" was all right. Megumi blinked back confusedly, struggling to remember the events of the past fifteen minutes, when she suddenly realized that one of Katsu's hands on her arms was grazing the spot where her breasts would have been, and she instinctively hauled back and returned his earlier favor, slapping the taste right out of his mouth.
"Ow!" Katsu's hand flew up to the red welt on his face, gingerly feeling it while he demanded angrily through a swelling cheek, "Whud wa' dad fer?" Megumi stared quizzically back at him, before finally deciphering that he'd meant to ask what was that for, and replied in a tight voice, "For groping me all over, you pervert, that's what!" A funny look came over Katsu's features, and for a moment Megumi wasn't sure whether he was going to throw up or explode into laughter, and while she wavered hesitantly between appropriate reactions, he spoke up knowingly as if he were the doctor and not her, "I see, Sano--damn, you must have been underwater longer than I thought; seems like you've lost a couple of brain cells down there, huh?"
"What?!" A second slap mark now graced Katsu's once unblemished other cheek, and as the dazed man painfully rubbed at his new sore, Megumi fumed at being called stupid...when she suddenly recalled that Katsu had called her Sano. Twice.
"Oh, no." She began feeling sick to her stomach, as more events from the previous fifteen minutes came flashing back to her--the nightmare about gambling and drinking, the waking up to realize all the changes that had occurred, the realization that she'd somehow taken on one Sagara Sanosuke's appearance...and what was it that Katsu had said about her being underwater?
"Listen, I'm sorry for hitting you--" Megumi started to apologize, when Katsu recovered enough to punch her back in the face as a thank you for her two slaps. As Megumi dazedly blinked and tried to recover from the shock, Katsu staggered up and added, "Oh, and by the way, Sano, you hit like a girl!"
"Of course I do, I am a girl, you moron," Megumi muttered under her breath, earning herself a strange look from Katsu, who began discreetly inching away from her while coughing, "Er...right. Wow, just how long were you underwater, anyway?"
"What did you say?" Megumi glared, causing him to put on a nervous smile while fumbling around for an excuse.
"I, er, was just about to go get your friends, they'll want to know if you're all right, and you did once mention about that doctor bitch, she might be able to help you out right now," he revealed, hastily stumbling to his full height and beginning to totter out of the room. Megumi's left eyebrow began twitching dangerously at the Sano-quote, as she repeated through clenched teeth, "Oh, so I'm a doctor bitch now, am I?"
Fifteen Minutes Later...
Kaoru worriedly examined Megumi's face, fretting, "We were so worried when your friend came over and told us you'd had an accident and nearly drowned." On an impulse, she reached over and hugged her, offering generously, "I'm so glad you're all right, Sano. Would you like me to make you some of my special soup to make you feel better?" Not if feeling better means throwing up, Raccoon Girl, Megumi thought dryly to herself. Out loud, she declined in a polite voice, "Uh, no thank you. But it was very kind of you to offer." Kaoru leaned back, suspicion overriding the relief in her features as she tapped her chin thoughtfully with her index finger and murmured to herself, "Hmm, since when has Sagara Sanosuke ever been this polite? Wow, that must have been quite a fall into the water basin!"
A few feet away, Katsu was
explaining to Kenshin what had happened that evening.
"I happened to work later
than usual tonight, and when I walked by I thought I'd check up on Sano,
since he mentioned earlier today about needing a loan to pay off some minor
damages at Dr. Genzai's clinic," the taller man disclosed, causing Kenshin
to sweatdrop and mutter, "Yeah, Megumi already told us her side of the
story this afternoon."
"Anyway, when I came in,
I found Sano lying unconscious with his head stuck in the water basin,
so I pulled him out and slapped his face to revive him," Katsu went on.
"And then he went crazy and slapped me back for "groping him."
"Huh?" The sweatdrop grew
larger, as Kenshin echoed in bemusement, "Sano said that?" A good look
at the twin red hand prints on either of Katsu's cheeks confirmed to the
red-haired swordsman that Sano had said that and done much more.
Back to where Kaoru was fussing
over "Sano," Megumi had calmed down enough to try and analyze her problematic
situation with a cool, scientific head. Well, I've turned into Sanosuke,
and his friend now thinks I'm crazy, she thought tiredly to herself.
What
could be worse? A quick glance down at her attire revealed that things
could, indeed be worse, as she blushed bright crimson when she realized
she had no shirt on. Her, elegant and conservatively modest Megumi, who
always wore an extra apron over her kimono to make sure nothing inappropriate
could be seen.
"I'm topless!" she gasped,
horrified, her hands flying up to her--or Sano's--bare chest as though
to cover it up. "How utterly improper and distasteful!" Kaoru winced and
gingerly smoothed back some locks of hair that had been blown out of place
by Megumi's outraged howl, venturing cautiously, "Are you sure you're feeling
all right, Sano?" even as "Sano" frenziedly ran around like a chicken that
had just had its head cut off in "his" hysterical quest for a shirt. Since
when has Sanosuke been so modest about his torso? Kaoru silently wondered
to herself. If anything, he's always wearing his shirt wide open as
though he can't show off his muscles often enough! Getting up and walking
over to Kenshin, who'd finished conversing with Katsu and now wore a thoughtful
frown on his face, Kaoru whispered confidentially into his ear, "I think
we should get poor Sano to a doctor. He's not acting like himself; his
brain must be waterlogged from having his head underwater for such a long
time!" Kenshin nodded thoughtfully, a mildly suspicious look in his violet
eyes as his mind worked to secure a glimmer of an idea that had occurred
to him while watching "Sanosuke" frantically throwing on every garment
"he" could find to cover up "his" bare chest and stomach. After a few more
minutes of musing, Kenshin frowned and gave up trying to recapture his
initial notion, putting the inkling in the back of his mind and deciding
that it would come back to him later.
"All right," he finally
agreed, taking charge and suggesting kindly, "Sano, we should get Megumi
to check you over for any injuries."
Megumi stopped abruptly in
her tracks when she heard her name mentioned, finally satisfied that she
was now adequately covered up after seven layers of shirts (it wasn't just
some obsession with propriety on her part; most of Sano's shirts had unsightly
rips and tears here and there anyway, so that glimpses of skin would still
show if she wore only one layer).
"Yes, we should do just
that," she gritted out, warily curbing her language to make sure she didn't
unwittingly spout some unchecked insult against Sanosuke and prompt the
others into dumping her in a mental asylum as a result. "In fact, I'd like
to see that bonehead--er, beautiful and knowledgeable lady doctor--about
a little problem that's surfaced tonight." As Katsu stayed behind to nurse
his injuries and the trio set out for Megumi's place, Kaoru leaned in and
whispered to Kenshin, "See, I told you something was wrong with Sano--he's
never this polite, especially not about Megumi!"
At Megumi's House...
Megumi hastened her pace
as she saw her house coming into view, practically flying off the street
and leaving Kenshin and Kaoru behind her to cough in her handy little dust
trail. The latter two hastened to catch up to her, nearly sprinting to
keep up with her furious pace, when they suddenly heard her inhale sharply.
"Oof!"
"Ow!"
Kenshin and Kaoru grimaced as they bumped into Megumi, tall and muscular
in Sanosuke's form and frozen dead in her tracks as she stopped and gawked
at apparently some highly horrific sight lounging on the front porch of
her house.
"YOU BONEHEAD, ARE YOU PURPOSELY
TRYING TO RUIN MY REPUTATION?!!!" Megumi suddenly shrieked in Sano's deep
voice, nearly blowing the real Sano right back into her house while successfully
popping the eardrums of the hapless couple standing behind her.
"Sanosuke should really
try to check his manners around women, that he should," Kenshin grimaced,
his eyes still spinning dizzily from the massive screech. Beside him, Kaoru
turned around and hollered in an equally loud voice, "What?! I can't hear
you!" Kenshin winced again, brushing off his earlier comment, "Never mind,
let's just see what's angered Sano so much."
The real Megumi was standing
in front of them, bristling like a female dragon and with smoke practically
shooting out of her ears in anger while her eyes glowed fire. Lounging
around on her porch was Sanosuke trapped in Megumi's body, staring wide-eyed
at his unexpected visitors. Caught off-guard both by his surprise callers
and by Megumi's furious shriek, he hadn't had a chance to make his appearance
more appropriate--the appearance of "Megumi" resting lazily against a pillar,
decked out not in one of her demure kimonos and aprons, but rather in a
very much stolen Western dress, with the wooden hoops messily ripped out
and the massive skirts hiked all the way up to his lap.
"Er..." Sano alternated
wary glances between the dismayed and incredibly embarrassed-looking Kenshin
and the bright red Kaoru, then darted a look at the real Megumi, who looked
ready to hitch his skirts up to his head and choke him out with them. "Er...I
can explain. Honestly, I can."