Chapter 22 – I'm like a bird
Rui: Something bad is going to happen.. right?
Angel: Hmm.. maybe for you, yes.
Tsukushi: What do you mean?
Angel: *looks at reader* well, you're about to find out.
Tsukasa: *walks in* Huh? What did I miss?
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Tsukushi sighed as she leaned back on the sand, sunbaking on her towel on the beach. She relaxed, soaking in the rays of the sun on her body. It had been so long since she had been to the beach. She missed the days in Australia when she used to go the beach practically every week with her friends in summer. Atami island brought back fond memories of Australia. With the memories came a sense of longing – she missed her friends. The emails just weren't the same. She sighed, maybe she might go and visit them some time..
"Makino.." Soujiro whistled, "Looking good."
Tsukushi's eyes flickered open, "What are you looking at?! Hentai! (pervert)" she shouted accusingly before quickly covering up her body with a towel. She blushed, she had forgotten that the playboys were here.. why had she brought her bikini along? Then she remembered, it had been her mother's idea. Typical..
"You shouldn't wear stuff like that if you can't handle it. You look like such a try-hard!" Ayuhara cried haughtily before flaunting her body in a shimmery gold bikini with long ornamental chains along it.
Tsukushi coughed loudly, trying to cover up her laughter. Ayuhara looked so ridiculous in her outfit. It was obviously not fit for swimming and their seemed to be bells hanging on the gold chains. She looked like a gypsy in a too small bikini. As she sauntered over to Akira, Soujiro backed away warily. Ayuhara draped herself over Akira and started flirting. Akira looked slightly sick.
"Makino! Let's go swimming!" Soujiro shouted before dragging her into the water.
"Wait!" she shouted but he had already plunged her into the sea. Soujiro stood up, laughing crazily.
"Wait for me!" cried Akira before also running into the water. He ran into, splashing water onto Tsukushi.
"WATER FIGHT!" shouted Tsukushi, before submerging under the water.
Ayuhara glared enviously on the shore. "Wait for me Mimasaka-san!" she cried before charging into the water. "AH!" she screamed as she tripped over some seaweed on the sea floor. She shrieked and fell with a large splash into the water. Soujiro and Akira burst out into laughter.
Seconds later, Ayuhara emerged again, hair dripping wet. "This is all your fault!" she cried out, glaring at Tsukushi. Her eyes travelled to where Soujiro and Akira was, she looked slightly abashed when she realised that they too, were laughing. She pressed her lips into a thin line and seemed to be trying hard not to cry. She lifted her head up with a loud "hmph" and walked away to the shore, the bells on her bikini dangled and tinkled after her.
Tsukushi, seeing that Soujiro was still chuckling to himself, took the chance to push him into the water. He fell with a big crash into the sea, he managed the shout a loud, "Hey!" before his head went under the water. Tsukushi laughed loudly with Akira as she watched Soujiro stand up again. "Serves you right for pushing me into the water!" she shouted.
"Makino, just wait till I get you!" Soujiro dived down and started to swim towards her. She gave a loud scream, before diving under the water also and swimming away from him. "Go Makino!" cheered Akira.
The many years of living in Australia had perfected Tsukushi's swimming skills, so that even though she was smaller than Soujiro, she still equalled him in his speed. They swam around, along the beach until he was finally too tired to pursue her any longer. "Okay okay Makino.." he said, breathing heavily, "You win." He took a deep breath, "Wow, your endurance is so good."
She stopped her swimming and turned to look at him. "Of course.." she grinned, breathing heavily herself. "You're not that bad either.."
"Do you want to race…" Soujiro started to say but was interrupted by a loud shout.
"TSUKUSHI-CHAN!!" Kazuya's voice rang out.
Tsukushi paled visibly as Kazuya rushed into the water towards her. "Er.. hi Kazuya." She gave him a weak smile.
Suddenly Kazuya's head went under the water, he seemed to be struggling to get to the surface. "Kazuya.. don't play around.." Tsukushi said lightly, "I know you can swim.." she stopped, "right? Oh god.." she whispered. "Kazuya!" she screamed, swimming frantically towards him.
Akira grumbled – remembering the plane flight, "Serves him right – stupid annoying kid. If he doesn't know how to swim then why is he in the water in the first place?"
"Akira!" Soujiro reprimanded lightly, "The guy could die!"
"But he's so bothersome.. Don't see why Makino is still friends with him.." Akira muttered.
"YOU GUYS! STOP STANDING AROUND CHATTING! COME AND HELP YOU BAKAS!!" yelled Tsukushi, as she tried to drag Kazuya's lifeless body onto the shore.
Soujiro flashed her an apologetic grin, "Sorry." He said before swimming over to Tsukushi. "Let me help you." He pulled Kazuya along almost effortlessly before dumping him onto the sand. "Phew! That guy sure is heavy.."
Tsukushi pushed him out of the way and frantically started to push his chest. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to recall the CPR lessons she had learnt in high school. Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.. She took a deep breath and pressed her lips onto Kazuya's, trying to get him breathing again.
"TSUKUSHI! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" Tsukasa came running. "Why are you kissing that idiot?"
"It's called CPR you baka! Don't you know anything at all?" shouted Tsukushi. Behind her Kazuya was already sitting up, coughing up sea water.
"CR.. what? I don't care what it is! You were kissing him!" he accused.
"So what? What has that got to do with you? It's none of your business!"
"What?! But you're you're.." he stopped himself, realising that they were actually only friends.. Jealousy rose like a fire within him, his face turning red.
"Um… Tsukasa? Tsukushi was trying to save his life.." Akira said, an amused grin still plastered on his face.
"Yeah.. she wasn't kissing him.." choked Soujiro who seemed to be trying hard not to laugh.
"Shut up!" growled Tsukasa angrily. "You don't have to kiss him to save his life do you?"
Tsukushi sighed exasperatedly, "You really are so stupid. I'm saying this for the last time. I wasn't kissing him!!" She left in a huff, storming away. Sometimes Tsukasa could be so unreasonable. Even though she had tried not to pick a fight with him, they just ended up arguing anyway.. Why couldn't they be more like Shizuka and Rui? Understanding each other more.. more peace and quiet.
She stopped. Thinking about them was like opening the newly healed wound in her heart. Rui.. if he could just be her friend again, she would be contented. But he was cold and distant towards her.. why? He had been almost friendly for a while.. She could still remember their rare meetings at the emergency staircase, what had made that all change? Because Shizuka is back.. He doesn't need you as a replacement anymore – he has the real thing. Her head pounded. I really shouldn't be thinking of this… this holiday is to enjoy myself. She sighed as she tried to find some aspirin for her throbbing headache. As much as she willed herself to believe the headache was due to the fact that she was tired after the swim.. she could not believe herself.
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Shizuka's P.O.V:
Rui and I strolled leisurely on the other side of the island. A silence rested between us, a light air of understanding. A more correct way to put it – I understood what he was thinking but did he know me well enough? I had often wished to have someone who I could confide with, someone who could understand me as well as I understood Rui. I don't think anyone has been that close to be except for Rui and Akira. Yes, Mimasaka Akira. Akira and Rui have always been closest to me – although I seemed to treat Akira more as a friend.. and Rui as my little brother whom I took care of. Actually I wasn't really sure how I treated Rui.. how I felt about him. But was the time right? Was it time to let him go?
I stopped walking, facing the sea as it crashed onto the shore. The sea.. my parents and the rest of the world, crashing onto me (the sand), pulling me away with them bit by bit. Wearing me down with their power. I looked up at the sky filled with seagulls. Why couldn't I be as free and carefree as them? Why did I have to be tied down by all my responsibilities.. the life that I did not want to live. I guess it isn't that extreme – I wasn't about to commit suicide or anything – but I wanted to be free, free from the ties and bindings of the Toudou family. My lips curved into a slow smile – I had already received a call from Sorbonne University in France saying that they had already accepted me to study law there. I have already planned to announce it, on my birthday. A dark cloud shrouded over my heart, it was also the day that I would leave Rui. I couldn't imagine how I will bear to leave him… Maybe the farewell will be easier.. if I start earlier.
"Rui.." I said softly.
"Hmm?"
"I know you are unhappy now, it's because of Tsukushi isn't it? I know you love her.." I said, it took so much effort so say these words. I felt like giving a part of myself away, somehow I didn't like the idea of my Rui being with someone else. But, I don't want to seem so possessive, I want to open the window of opportunities for Rui.. not have him trailing behind me in my shadow forever.
"What?" he looked at me, confusion and doubt in his eyes.
I continued, "When I saw you save her in the cafeteria that day.. I've never seen you like that before.." A smile graced my lips as I tried to cover up my sadness, "I'm jealous!"
"What are you talking about Shizuka?" he stared hard at me.
I smiled at him to cover up my true emotional turmoil, "I think you two will make a great couple." He laughed softly at my words, his cold stare came upon me again – maybe that stare could intimidate others, but never me. I only stared back at him, "Why do you laugh?"
"Shizuka, why are you always this nasty? You say things that you don't mean. You try to please everyone, you don't even care if you end up hurting someone." He said bitterly.
"No.. that's not what I mean.." I whispered softly. What he said was right. I was saying things that I didn't mean. But what do you want me to do Rui?! My mind screamed out. No, this was the best way. Was he right? Was I hurting people in my quest to please the world?
"I don't love Tsukushi, the only person in my heart is you." He gazed at me with such intense passion that I shivered slightly. My mind reeled in shock as he leaned in to kiss me, I didn't respond. "Rui.." I breathed. It felt like my whole body was numb from the words he had just said. Who knew Rui had such a big impact on me? Shizuka, you can't respond! It's wrong. The kiss.. his love. Everything is wrong. When he finally removed his lips from mine, I felt a slight sense of relief and yet also a strange longing.
"What's wrong Rui?" I asked, as if having a normal conversation. I acted if nothing had happened at all, maybe he was right. Maybe I am hurting too many people. But I do care. I care about you Rui..
"Why?" he asked almost helplessly, my arms automatically reached to pull him into my hug. It had been so often that I had comforted him, it was reflex.
"I'm happy." I said smiling as a lone tear slid down my cheek. "I'm happy to know that you need me so much.." I feared to speak too much, if I did, I know I will be unable to hide my sorrow any longer. His head rested on my shoulder so he couldn't see my tears. I quickly brushed them away with my hand.
"No.. this is not how it's supposed to be.." he murmured quietly.
"Don't be afraid." I told him, who am I kidding? I am the one who is the most afraid.. "We are a guy and a girl. It is natural." I smiled and moved closer to kiss him. He pushed me away abruptly, "Yamero! (stop)" he said forcefully, even I was surprised. "I don't want to force you.." he muttered darkly before walking away. I stood alone watching his back, how had a peaceful afternoon ended up like this?
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"I'm like a bird" by Nelly Furtado
You're beautiful, that's for sure
You'll never ever fade
You're lovely but it's not for sure
That I won't ever change
And though my love is rare
Though my love is true
I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is,
I don't know where my home is
(and baby all I need for you to know is)
I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is,
I don't know where my home is
All I need for you to know is
Your faith in me brings me to tears,
even after all these years
and it pains me so much to tell
that you don't know me that well
and though my love is rare
though my love is true
I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is,
I don't know where my home is
(and baby all I need for you to know is)
I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is,
I don't know where my home is
All I need for you to know is
It's not that I wanna say goodbye
It's just that every time you try to tell me that you love me
Each and every single day I know
I'm going to have to eventually give you away
and though my love is rare
and though my love is true
Hey I'm just scared
that we may fall through
I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is,
I don't know where my home is
(and baby all I need for you to know is)
I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is,
I don't know where my home is
All I need for you to know is..
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A mixture of light and dark. I love writing about Rui, always the sad and angsty stuff.. *maniac grin* I love it! I know I'm not very good at writing it.. but I sure do love reading it!
I'm actually starting to think Shizuka and Rui may be quite a good pair..
Well well well, maybe this WILL be a t/t fic after all.
Hehe..
Thanx 4 the reviews!! Sorry for the late update..
* Angel *