Dawn sighed with sadness and frustration as she petted the cat on her friend's bed. She had been crying as well. She couldn't believe that Xander was gone. She loved him so much and now he was dead. He was the only one she could ever talk to besides Spike. He was like her big brother. He never once judged her or blamed her for anything. She wanted to cry. She wanted to scream. She just wanted him back.
"Dawn, are you okay?" Janice asked as she put two glasses of milk and a plate of cookies on the table.
"No" Dawn said, not looking at her. She didn't want Janice to see the tears in her eyes.
"I'm sorry, I wish there was something I could do" Janice said sympathetically.
"I just, I can't believe that, that he's gone, I mean Xander has been there forever, he has been there for more than half of my life" Dawn said.
"I know how it feels to lose someone you love, my grandpa died two years ago" Janice said.
"Does it ever go away?" Dawn asked, finally looking at her with tear stained eyes and cheeks.
"Does what ever go away?" Janice asked.
"The pain?" Dawn asked her.
"Eventually, but I guess it's different for all people" Janice said.
"How long was it for you?" Dawn asked her.
"To tell you the truth, I don't think it ever fully goes away, I mean I can laugh now, I can have fun, but every once in a while, I cry, the feeling of loss never really goes away" Janice said. Dawn turned over and laid her head on Janice's pillow and closed her eyes. She just wanted to sleep. Sleeping might take away some of the hurt she felt.