Morning only brought pain and sadness to Anya. She hadn't slept.
She'd stayed overnight at Xander's apartment. She just wanted to be with a
part of him. This was the only thing she had left of him now that he was
gone. She wanted vengeance on Warren for killing him. She wanted to kill
him for it. She couldn't do anything. She couldn't breathe; she couldn't
walk, or move at all for that matter. She just wanted it all to go away.
This feeling she had was new to her, although she had felt it often lately.
She missed the simpler days where she didn't feel anything. Where she just
came where she was called and punished men for being unfaithful. And that
confused her also. She was now a vengeance demon again, so why did she
still have these feelings for him. Shouldn't she just forget about
everything? She missed him so much. She wasn't used to this, the loving of
men. After Xander left her at the alter she vowed she would never love him
again, but she did. She couldn't deny what she felt. She began crying again
as she laid in his bed, trying to sleep. She was so tired, but her eyes
wouldn't close. More than anything she just wanted to sleep. She looked at
a picture of the two of them that was on his nightstand next to his bed.
She picked it up and looked at it. They looked so happy in that picture,
with his hands wrapped tightly around her. She wished so much that she
could be in his arms again. Just one more time. To kiss his lips, to feel
his skin against hers. To listen to his heart beat. For him to whisper in
her ear "I love you," and for her to say it back. She hugged the frame
tightly as she began to cry again. But she could finally close her eyes and
go to sleep.
